remained very much astonished at his history. We cast our eyes
towards the barber, and told him, that he had done wrong; if what we
had just heard was true. “Gentlemen,” answered he, raising his
head, which he had till now kept towards the ground, “the silence,
which I have imposed upon myself, while this young man was telling
you his story, ought to prove to you, that he has advanced nothing
that was not the fact; notwithstanding, however, all that he has
told you, I still maintain that I ought to have done what I did; and
I leave you yourselves to judge of it. Was he not thrown into a
situation of great danger, and without my assistance would he so
fortunately have escaped from it? He may, indeed, think himself very
happy to have got free from it with only a lame leg. Was I not
exposed to a much greater danger, in order to get him from a house
where I thought he was so ill treated? Has he then reason to
complain of me, and to attack me with so many injurious reproaches?
You see what we get by serving ungrateful people. He accuses me of
being a chatterer: it is mere calumny. Of seven brothers, of whom
our family consists, I am the very one who speaks least, and yet who
possesses the most wit. In order to convince you of it, Gentlemen, I
have only to relate their history and my own to you. I entreat you
to favour me with your attention.
THE HISTORY
OF THE BARBER.
During the reign of the Caliph Mostanser Billah, [9] a prince so
famous for his great liberality towards the poor, there were ten
robbers, who very much infested the roads in the neighbourhood of
Bagdad; and were for a long time guilty of great depredations and
horrible cruelties. The caliph having been informed of this great
outrage, ordered the judge of the police some days before the feast
of Bairam to come to him: and commanded him, under pain of death, to
bring them all ten before him. The judge of the police was very
active; and sent out so many of his men into the country, that the
ten robbers were taken on the very day of the feast. I happened to
be walking at that time on the banks of the Tigris, where I observed
ten very well dressed men, who embarked on board a boat. I should
have known that they had been robbers, if I had paid any attention
to the guard who accompanied them: but I observed only the robbers
themselves; and thinking that they were men, who were going to enjoy
themselves and pass this day in festivity, I got into the boat at
the same time with them, without saying a word; in hopes that they
would suffer me to accompany them. We rowed down the Tigris, and
they made us land at the caliph’s palace. By this time, I had an
opportunity of recollecting myself; and perceiving that I had formed
a wrong opinion of my companions. When we got out of the boat, we
were surrounded by a fresh party of the guards belonging to the
judge of the police, who bound us and carried us before the caliph.
I suffered myself to be bound like the rest, still without saying a
word: for what use would it have been to me, either to have
remonstrated, or to have made any resistance? It would only have
been the cause of my being ill-treated by the guards, who would have
paid no attention to me; for they are brutes, who will not hear
reason. I was, in fact, with the robbers, and that was quite enough
for them to believe, that I really was one.
As soon as we were come before the caliph, he ordered these ten
rascals to be punished. “Strike off,” said he, “the heads of
these ten robbers. The executioner immediately ranged us in a line
within reach of his arm, and fortunately I was the very last. He
then, beginning with the first, struck off the heads of the ten
robbers; but when he came to me he stopped. The caliph observing,
that the executioner did not cut off my head, called out in anger,
“Have I not ordered thee to cut off the heads of the ten robbers?
Why then hast thou cut off only nine?”--“Commander of the
Faithful,” replied the executioner, “God forbid, that I should
not execute your majesty’s orders. You may see here ten bodies on
the ground, and as many heads, which I have cut off.” He then
counted them. When the caliph himself saw that the executioner was
right, he looked at me with astonishment; and finding that I did not
possess the countenance of a robber,--“My good old man,” said
he, “by what accident were you found among these wretches, who
deserved a thousand deaths?”--“Commander of the Faithful,” I
replied, “I will tell you the absolute truth: I this morning saw
these ten persons, whose punishment is an illustrious proof of your
majesty’s justice, get into a boat: being fully persuaded, that
they were people, who were going to enjoy themselves in a party to
celebrate this day, which is the most distinguished of our religion,
I embarked with them.”
The caliph could not help laughing at my adventure; and, quite
contrary to the lame young man, who treated me as a babbler, he
admired my discretion and power of keeping silence. “Commander of
the Faithful,” said I to him, “let not your majesty be
astonished, if I hold my tongue upon any occasion, when another
person would have been most anxious to have spoken. I make it my
particular study to practise silence, and it is from the possession
of this virtue, that I have acquired the glorious title of the
silent man. I am called thus, in order to distinguish me from six
brothers of mine. It is an art, which my philosophy has taught me;
in short, this virtue is the cause of all my glory and my
happiness.”--“I heartily rejoice,” answered the caliph,
smiling, “that they have bestowed a title upon you, of which you
make so excellent a use. But inform me what sort of men your
brothers were: did they at all resemble you?”--“Not in the
least;” I answered, “they were every one chatterers; and in
person there was the greatest difference between us. The first was
hunch-backed; the second was toothless; the third had but one eye;
the fourth was quite blind; the fifth had his ears cut off: the
sixth was hare-lipped. The various adventures which happened to them
would enable your majesty to judge of their characters, if I might
have the honour to relate them.” As I thought the caliph wished
for nothing better than to hear them, I went on without waiting for
his answer.
THE STORY
OF THE BARBER’S FIRST BROTHER.
My eldest brother, Sire, who was called Bacbouc the hunchback, was a
tailor by trade. As soon as his apprenticeship was finished, he
hired a shop, which happened to be opposite a mill; and as he had
not yet got a great deal of business, he found some difficulty in
getting a livelihood. The miller, on the contrary, was very
comfortably off; and had also a very beautiful wife. As my brother
was one morning working in his shop, he happened to look up and
perceived the window of the mill open, and the miller’s wife
looking into the street. He thought her so very handsome, that he
was quite enchanted with her; she, however, paid not the least
attention to him, but shut the window, and did not make her
appearance any more that day.
In the mean time the poor tailor did nothing but lift up his head,
and kept looking towards the mill all the time he was at work. The
consequence was, that he pricked his fingers very often, and his
work was not that day so neat and regular as usual. When the evening
came, and he was forced to shut up his shop, he had hardly
resolution to set about it, because he still hoped he should again
see the miller’s wife. It was, however, at length absolutely
necessary for him to shut it up and retire to his small house, where
he passed a very bad night. The next morning he got up very early,
and ran to his shop; so impatient was he to behold his mistress. But
he was not more fortunate than the day before, for the miller’s
wife looked out only for one instant during the whole day. That
instant, however, was quite sufficient to render him the most
amorous of men. On the third he had, indeed, more reason to be
satisfied, for the miller’s wife accidentally cast her eyes upon
him, and actually surprised him attentively surveying her; this
readily informed her of what passed in his bosom.
She had no sooner thus got acquainted with his sentiments, than she
resolved, instead of being angry or vexed at it, to amuse herself
with my brother. She looked at him with a smiling air, which he
returned in the same manner, but so humourously, that she was
obliged to shut the window as quick as possible, for fear her loud
fits of laughter should make him suppose she was turning him into
ridicule. Bacbouc was so innocent, that he interpreted this conduct
in his own favour; and flattered himself, that she had looked upon
him with pleasure.
The miller’s wife then resolved to gratify her inclination for
humour at my brother’s expence. She happened to have a piece of
handsome stuff, which she had for a long time intended to have made
into a dress. She wrapped it up therefore in a beautiful
handkerchief, embroidered with silk, and sent it to the tailor by a
young female slave of hers. This slave being instructed for the
purpose, came to his shop, and said, “My mistress sends her
salutations to you, and desires you to make a dress out of this
piece of stuff that I have brought, according to the pattern that is
along with it. She very often alters her dress, and you will be very
well pleased with her custom. My brother did not for a moment doubt
but that the miller’s wife was in love with him. He thought that
she had given him this employment so soon after what had passed
between them, only to show that she was well acquainted with the
state of his heart, and to assure him of the progress he had made in
her affections. Impressed with this good opinion of himself, he
desired the slave to tell her mistress, that he would put aside
every other business for hers, and that the dress should be ready by
the next morning. He worked, in short, with so much diligence and
assiduity, that the dress was finished that very day.
The next morning the young slave came to see if the dress was
finished. Bacbouc immediately gave it her, neatly folded up, and
said, “I have too great an interest to oblige your mistress to
neglect her dress; and I wish, by my diligence, to persuade her to
employ no one else but myself.” The slave then walked a few steps,
as if she was going away; but suddenly turning back, she said in a
low voice to my brother, “I had nearly forgotten, by the by, to
execute one of my commissions; my mistress charged me to make her
compliments to you, and to ask you how you had passed the night; as
for her, she, poor lady, is so much in love with you that she has
not slept a wink.”--“Tell her,” answered my poor simpleton of
a brother, in a transport, “that my passion for her is so violent,
I have not closed my eyes these four nights.” After this kind
speech from the miller’s wife, he flattered himself she would not
let him languish a long time in expectation only of her favors.
The slave had not left my brother above a quarter of an hour, before
he saw her return with a piece of satin. “My mistress,” said
she, “is quite satisfied with her dress, which fits her as well as
possible; but as it is very handsome, and she is desirous of wearing
it only with a new pair of drawers, she entreats you to make her a
pair as soon as possible, out of this piece of satin.”--“It is
sufficient,” answered Bacbouc, “it shall be done before I leave
my shop to-day; and you have only to come and fetch it in the
evening.” The miller’s wife showed herself very often to my
brother from the window, and was prodigal of her charms in order to
encourage him to work. It was quite a treat to see him stitching.
The drawers were soon made, and the slave came to take them; but she
brought the tailor no money, either for what he had laid out in the
trimmings for both the dress and the drawers, or to pay him for
making of either. In the mean time this unfortunate lover, who thus
diverted them, without knowing he was made a fool of, had eaten
nothing the whole of that day; and was obliged to borrow some money
to purchase a supper.
The day following, as soon as he was come to his shop, the young
slave came to him, and told him the miller wished to speak to him.
“My mistress,” added she, “has shown him your work, and has
said so much in your favor, that he also wants you to work for him.
She has acted thus, because she wishes that the intercourse and
connection which thus will be formed between you and him, should be
a means of enabling you both to succeed in what you so much desire.
My brother was easily persuaded of this, and went with the slave to
the mill. The miller gave him a good reception, and showing him a
piece of cloth, “I have occasion,” said he, “for some shirts,
and wish you to make me twenty out of this piece of cloth: if there
be any remain you will bring it back.”
My brother was obliged to work for five or six days before he
finished the twenty shirts for the miller; who, immediately after,
gave him another piece of cloth to make him as many pair of drawers.
When they were finished, Bacbouc carried them to the miller, who
asked him what was his demand for his trouble. My brother upon this
said, that he should be satisfied with twenty drachms of silver. The
miller immediately called the young slave, and ordered her to bring
the scales, to see if the money he was going to pay was weight. The
slave, who knew her part, looked at my brother angrily, to make him
understand, that he would spoil every thing if he received the
money. He understood her very well; and therefore refused to take
any of the silver, although he was so much in want of it, that he
had been obliged to borrow some in order to purchase the thread,
with which he had made the shirts and the drawers. When he left the
miller, he came directly to me, and entreated me to lend him a
trifle to buy some food, telling me that his customers did not pay
him. I gave him some copper money which I had in my purse, upon
which he lived for some days. It is true, he eat only broth, nor
even with that did he ever get a sufficient meal.
My brother one day went into the miller’s, who was busy about his
mill; and thinking my brother might come to ask for his money, he
offered it him: but the young slave, who was present, again, by
signs to him, prevented his accepting any, and made him tell the
miller in answer, that he did not come on that account, but only to
inquire after his health. The miller thanked him for his kindness,
and gave him an outside robe to make. Bacbouc brought it home the
next day: when the miller took out his purse: but the young slave
coming in at that moment, looked at my brother, who then said to the
miller; “There is no hurry, neighbour, we will settle the business
another time.” Thus the poor dupe returned to his shop with three
great evils; he was in love, he was hungry, and he was pennyless.
The miller’s wife was both avaricious and wicked. She was not
satisfied with preventing my brother from receiving what was due to
him, but she excited her husband to revenge himself for the love
which the tailor professed for her; the means which they took were
the following. The miller invited Bacbouc one evening to supper; and
after having treated him with but indifferent fare, he thus
addressed him: “It is too late, brother, for you to return home;
you had much better, therefore, sleep here.” After having thus
spoken, he showed him a place where there was a bed; and having left
him there, he returned, and went with his wife to the room where
they were accustomed to sleep. In the middle of the night the miller
came back to my brother, he called out to him, “are you asleep,
neighbour? My mule is taken suddenly ill, and I have a great deal of
corn to grind; you will therefore do me a very great favor if you
would turn the mill in his place.” To prove to him that he was a
man willing to oblige him, he answered that he was ready to render
him this service if he would only show him how he was to set about
it. The miller then fastened him by the middle of his body, like a
mule, to make him turn the mill; and immediately giving him a good
cut upon the loins with the whip, “Get on neighbour,” he cried.
“Why do you strike me?” answered my brother.--“It is only to
encourage you;” replied the miller, “for without that my mule
will not stir a step.” Bacbouc was astonished at this treatment;
nevertheless he durst not complain of it. When he had gone five or
six rounds, he wished to rest himself, but the miller immediately
gave him a dozen sharp cuts with the whip; calling out, “Courage
neighbour, don’t stop, I entreat you: you must go on without
taking breath, otherwise you will spoil my flour.”
The miller thus obliged my brother to turn the mill during the rest
of the night. And as soon as daylight appeared, he went away without
unfastening him, and returned to his wife’s chamber. Bacbouc
remained some time in this situation. At last the young slave came,
who untied him; “Alas! how my good mistress and myself have pitied
you,” cried the cunning slave, “we are not at all to blame for
what you have suffered; we have had no share in the wicked trick
which her husband has played you.” The unfortunate Bacbouc
answered not a word, so much was he fatigued and bruised with the
beating. He got, however, back to his own house, and firmly resolved
to think no more of the miller’s wife. The recital of this
history, continued the barber, made the caliph laugh, “Go,” said
he to me, “return home; they shall give you something, by my
order, to console you for having lost the festivities which you
expected.”--“Commander of the Faithful,” replied I, “I
entreat your majesty not to think of giving me any thing till I have
related the histories of my other brothers.” The caliph having
shown, by his silence, that he was disposed to listen to me, I
continued as follows:
THE HISTORY
OF THE BARBER’S SECOND BROTHER.
My second brother, who was called Bakbarah, the toothless, walking
one day through the city, met an old woman in a retired street. She
thus accosted him. “I have,” said she, “a word to say to you,
if you will stay a moment.” He immediately stopped, and asked her
what she wished. “If you have time to go with me,” she replied,
“I will carry you to a most magnificent palace, where you shall
see a lady more beautiful than the day. She will receive you with a
great deal of pleasure; and will treat you with a collation and
excellent wine. I have no occasion, I believe, to say any
more.”--“But is what you tell me,” replied my brother,
“true?”--“I am not given to lying,” replied the old woman.
“I propose nothing to you but what is the fact. You must, however,
pay attention to what I require of you. You must be prudent, speak
little, and you must comply with every thing.” Bakbarah having
agreed to the conditions, she walked on before, and he followed her.
They arrived at the gate of a large palace, where there were a great
number of officers and servants. Some of them wished to stop my
brother, but the old woman no sooner spoke to them, than they let
him pass. She then turned to my brother and said, “Remember, that
the young lady to whose house I have brought you, is fond of
mildness and modesty; nor does she like being contradicted. If you
satisfy her in this, there is no doubt but you will obtain from her
whatever you wish.” Bakbarah thanked her for this advice, and
promised to profit by it.
She then carried him into a very beautiful apartment, which formed
part of a square building. It corresponded with the magnificence of
the palace: there was a gallery all round it; and in the midst of it
was a very fine garden. The old woman made him sit down on a sofa
that was handsomely furnished; and desired him to wait there a
moment, till she went to inform the young lady of his arrival.
As my brother had never before been in so superb a place, he
immediately began to observe all the beautiful things that were in
sight; and judging of his good fortune by the magnificence he
beheld, he could hardly contain his joy. He almost immediately heard
a great noise, which came from a long troop of slaves, who were
enjoying themselves, and came towards him, bursting out at the same
time into violent fits of laughter. In the midst of them he
perceived a young lady of most extraordinary beauty, whom he
discovered to be their mistress, by the attention they paid her.
Bakbarah, who expected merely a private conversation with the lady,
was very much surprised at the arrival of so large a company. In the
mean time, the slaves putting on a serious air, approached him; and
when the young lady was near the sofa, my brother, who had risen up,
made a most profound reverence. She took the seat of honor, and
then, having requested him to resume his, she said to him in a
smiling manner:--“I am delighted to see you, and wish you every
thing you can yourself desire.”--“Madam,” replied Bakbarah,
“I cannot wish a greater honor than that of appearing before
you.”--“You seem to me,” she replied, “of so good-humoured a
disposition, that we shall pass our time very agreeably together.
She immediately ordered a collation, to be served up; and they
covered the table with baskets of various fruits and sweetmeats. She
then sat down at the table along with my brother and the slaves. As
it happened that he was placed directly opposite to her, as soon as
he opened his mouth to eat, she observed he had no teeth; she
remarked this to her slaves, and they all laughed immoderately at
it. Bakbarah, who from time to time raised his head to look at the
lady, and saw that she was laughing, imagined it was from the
pleasure she felt at being in his company; and flattered himself,
therefore, that she would soon order the slaves to retire, and that
he should enjoy her conversation in private. The lady easily guessed
his thoughts, and took a pleasure in continuing a delusion which
seemed so agreeable to him: she said a thousand soft tender things
to him; she presented the best of every thing to him with her own
hand.
When the collation was finished, she arose from table: ten slaves
instantly took some musical instruments, and began to play and sing;
the others to dance. In order to make himself the more agreeable, my
brother also began dancing, and the young lady herself partook of
the amusement. After they had danced for sometime, they all sat down
to take breath. The lady ordered them to bring her a glass of wine,
then cast a smile at my brother, to intimate that she was going to
drink his health. He instantly rose up and stood while she drank. As
soon as she had finished, instead of returning the glass, she had it
filled again, and presented it to my brother, that he might pledge
her.
Bakbarah took the glass, and in receiving it from the young lady, he
kissed her hand; then drank to her, standing the whole time, to show
his gratitude for the favor she had done him. After this, the young
lady made him sit down by her side, and began to give him signs of
affection. She put her arm round his neck, and frequently gave him
gentle pats with her hand. Delighted with these favors, he thought
himself the happiest man in the world; he also was tempted to begin
to play in the same manner with this charming person, but he durst
not take this liberty before the slaves, who had their eyes upon
him, and who continued to laugh at this trifling. The young lady
still kept giving him such gentle taps; at last she began to apply
them so forcibly, that he grew angry at it. He reddened, and got up
to sit further from so rude a playfellow. At this moment, the old
woman who had brought my brother there, looked at him in such a way
as to make him understand that he was wrong, and had forgotten the
advice she had before given him. He acknowledged his fault; and to
repair it, he again approach the young lady, pretending that he had
not gone to a distance through anger. She then took hold of him by
the arm, and drew him towards her; making him again sit down close
by her, and continuing to bestow a thousand pretended caresses on
him. Her slaves, whose only aim was to divert her, began to take a
part in the sport. One of them gave poor Bakbarah a fillip on the
nose with all her strength; another pulled his ears almost off,
while the rest kept giving him slaps; which passed the limits of
raillery and fun.