vigorous children would be strengthened by it, while those who were
weakly would either faint, or fall into convulsions. Fathers were
not allowed to educate and nourish their own children, if they were
desirous to do so. All infants, being considered the property of the
commonwealth, were brought to the magistrates to be examined. If
vigorous and well formed, a certain portion of land was allotted for
their maintenance; but if they appeared sickly or deformed, they were
thrown into a deep cavern and left to perish.
The Spartan nurses were so celebrated, that they were eagerly sought
for by people of other countries. They never used swaddling bands, and
religiously observed the ceremony of laying infants upon bucklers, as
soon as they were born. They taught children to eat any kind of food,
or to endure the privation of it for a long time; not to be afraid when
left alone, or in the dark; to be ashamed of crying, and proud to take
care of themselves.
The Spartans mourned for deceased relations with great composure and
moderation; though when a king died, it was customary for men, women,
and slaves, to meet together in great numbers, and tear the flesh from
their foreheads with sharp instruments. Indeed, in all things they
endeavored to make their own interest and feelings subordinate to
the public good. When news came of the disastrous overthrow of the
Lacedæmonian army at Leuctra, those matrons who expected to receive
their sons alive from the battle, were silent and melancholy; while
those who received an account that their children were slain in battle,
went to the temples to offer thanksgivings, and congratulated each
other with every demonstration of joy.
The Lacedæmonians usually carried bodies to the grave on bucklers;
hence the command of the Spartan mother to her son, “either to bring
his buckler back from the wars, or be brought upon it.”
Some foreign women said to Gorgo, wife of king Leonidas, “You Spartans
are the only women that govern men.” “Because we are the only women who
give birth to men,” she replied. This answer was in allusion to their
own strength and vigor, and to the pains they took to make their boys
bold and hardy.
The Lacedæmonian women seem to have had a share in all the concerns of
the commonwealth; and during the early portions of their history they
appear to have been well worthy of the respect paid to them. When a
new senator was chosen, he was crowned with a garland, and the women
assembled to sing his domestic virtues and his warlike courage. At
the public feast given in honor of his election, he called the female
relative for whom he had the greatest esteem and gave her a portion,
saying, “That which I received as a mark of honor, I give to you.” When
Cleomenes, king of Sparta, was beset with powerful enemies, the king of
Egypt agreed to furnish him with succors, provided he would send his
mother and his children as hostages. Filial respect and tenderness made
the prince extremely unwilling to name this requisition. His mother,
perceiving that he made an effort to conceal something from her,
persuaded her friends to tell her what it was. As soon as she heard
it, she laughed outright, and said, “Was this the thing you so long
hesitated to communicate? Put us on board a ship, and send this old
carcase of mine wherever you think it may be of the most use to Sparta,
before age renders it good for nothing, and sinks it into the grave.”
When everything was ready for departure, she, being alone with her son,
saw that he struggled hard with emotion. She threw her arms around him,
and said, “King of the Lacedæmonians, be careful that we do nothing
unworthy of Sparta! This alone is in our power; the event belongs to
the gods.”
When Cleombrotus rebelled against his wife’s father, in spite of her
entreaties, and usurped the kingdom, Chelonis left her husband and
followed the fallen fortunes of her parent; but when the tide turned,
and Cleombrotus was in disgrace and danger, she joined her husband as
a suppliant for royal mercy, and was found sitting by him, with the
utmost tenderness, with her two children at her feet. She assured her
father that if his submission and her tears could not save his life,
she would die before him. The king, softened by her entreaties, changed
the intended sentence of death into exile, and begged his daughter to
remain with a father who loved her so affectionately. But Chelonis
could not be persuaded. She followed her husband into banishment.
Such was the character of Spartan women in the earlier periods of their
history; but in later times their boldness and immodesty increased to
such a degree that they became a by-word and a reproach throughout
Greece.
In Grecian mythology, the goddesses are about as numerous and important
as the gods. That Beauty, Health, and Majesty should be represented
as female deities, is by no means remarkable; but, considering the
estimation in which women were held, it is somewhat singular that
Wisdom should have been a goddess, and that sister muses should have
presided over history, epic poetry, dramatic poetry, and astronomy. The
tradition that Ceres first taught the use of laws does not probably
imply that legislation was invented by a woman; but that as men left a
wandering life, and devoted themselves to agriculture, (of which Ceres
was the personification,) they began to perceive the necessity of laws
for mutual defence and protection.
* * * * *
In the earliest and best days of Rome, the first magistrates and
generals of armies ploughed their own fields, and threshed their
own grain. Integrity, industry, and simplicity, were the prevailing
virtues of the times; and the character of women was, as it always
must be, in accordance with that of men. Columella says: “Roman
husbands, having completed the labors of the day, entered their houses,
free from all care, and there enjoyed perfect repose. There reigned
union, and concord, and industry, supported by mutual affection. The
most beautiful woman depended for distinction only on her economy,
and endeavors to assist in crowning her husband’s diligence with
prosperity. All was in common between them; nothing was thought to
belong more to one than another. The wife, by her assiduity and
activity within doors, equalled and seconded the industry and labor of
her husband.”
It was common for sons to marry and bring home their wives to the
paternal estate. Plutarch says: “There were not fewer than sixteen of
the Ælian family and name, who had only a small house and one farm
among them; and in this house they all lived, with their wives and
many children. Here dwelt the daughter of Æmilius, who had been twice
consul, and had triumphed twice; not ashamed of her husband’s poverty,
but admiring that virtue which kept him poor.”
Tanaquil, wife of Tarquin the First, one of the best kings of Rome, was
noted for her industry and ingenuity, as well as energy and ambition.
Her distaff was hung up in the temple of Hercules, and her girdle, with
a robe she embroidered for her son-in-law, were long preserved with the
utmost veneration. Her political influence seems to have been great,
and her liberality munificent. Her husband was originally a private
citizen of Tarquinia; but her knowledge of augury led her to predict
that an uncommon destiny awaited him at Rome, and she persuaded him to
go thither. After his death, she succeeded in raising her son-in-law,
Servius Tullius, to the throne.
Lucretia, a young matron of high rank, was found busy among her
maidens, assisting their spinning and weaving, and preparation of wool,
when her husband arrived with his guests, late in the evening. The
high value placed upon a stainless reputation may be inferred from the
fact that Lucretia would not survive dishonor, though she had been the
blameless victim of another’s vices.
Cornelia, the daughter of Scipio Africanus, was courted by a monarch,
but preferred being the wife of Sempronius Gracchus, a Roman citizen.
After the death of her husband, she took the entire management of
his estate, and the education of her sons. She was distinguished for
virtue, learning, and good sense. She wrote and spoke with uncommon
elegance and purity. Cicero and Quintilian bestow high praise upon her
letters. The eloquence of her children was attributed to her careful
superintendence. When a Campanian lady ostentatiously displayed a
profusion of jewels, and begged Cornelia to show hers, she exhibited
her boys, just returned from school, saying: “These are my jewels; the
only ornaments of which I can boast.” During her lifetime, a statue was
erected in honor of her character, bearing this inscription: “Cornelia,
mother of the Gracchi.”
The rigid decorum of Roman manners may be inferred from the
circumstance that Cato expelled a senator, merely because he kissed his
wife in the presence of his daughter. “For my own part,” said he, “my
wife never embraces me except when it thunders terribly;” adding, by
way of joke, “I am a very happy man when Jove is pleased to thunder.”
The superior condition of Roman women, in comparison with the Greeks,
may in a great measure be attributed to an event that occurred in the
very beginning of their history.
Romulus, being unable to obtain wives for the citizens of his new
commonwealth, celebrated public games, to which people of neighboring
nations were invited. In the midst of the entertainment he and his
soldiers seized a large number of women, principally Sabines, and
carried them off to his camp. Their restitution was demanded and
refused; but the warlike husbands, anxious to conciliate the affections
of wives obtained in a manner so violent, treated them with such
tenderness, that the women were themselves unwilling to return to
their relatives. This led to a war with the Sabines, and Romulus was
closely besieged in his citadel. At this crisis, Hersilia, his wife,
asked and obtained an audience with the senate, in which she told them
that the women had formed a design of acting as mediators between
their husbands and fathers. A decree was immediately passed in favor
of the proposition. Every woman was required to leave one of her
children, as a hostage of her return; the others they carried in their
arms, to soften the feelings of their parents. They proceeded to the
Sabine camp, dressed in deep mourning, and knelt at the feet of their
relatives. Hersilia described the kindness of their husbands, and
their own reluctance to be torn from their families, in a manner so
eloquent and pathetic, that an honorable and friendly alliance was soon
agreed upon.
In consideration of this important service, the Romans conferred
peculiar privileges on women. In capital cases, they were exempted from
the jurisdiction of ordinary judges; no immodest language or behavior
was allowed in their presence; every one was ordered to give way to
them in the street; and a festival was instituted in their honor,
called Matronalia, during which they served their slaves at table, and
received presents from their husbands.
Three kinds of marriage were in use among the Romans, called
_confarreatio_, _coemptio_, and _usus_. The first was established
by Romulus, and was the most solemn, as well as the most ancient. A
priest, in the presence of at least ten witnesses, pronounced certain
words, and sacrificed to the gods a cake made of salt, water, and
wheat-flour. The bride and bridegroom ate of this cake, to signify the
union which ought to bind them. This manner of celebrating marriage
made a wife the partner of all her husband’s substance, and gave her
a right to share in the peculiar sacred rites attached to his family.
If he died intestate, and without children, she inherited his whole
fortune, as a daughter; if he left children, she shared equally with
them. If she committed any fault, the husband judged of it in presence
of her relations, and punished her at pleasure. Sometimes when women
were publicly condemned by law, the penalty was left to the judgment
of her husband and relations. The priests of Jupiter were chosen
from sons born of this kind of marriage, and the vestal virgins were
selected from the daughters.
The _coemptio_, or mutual purchase, consisted of the bride and
bridegroom’s giving each other pieces of money. The man asked the
woman, “Are you willing to be the mistress of my family?” She
answered, “I am willing;” and then asked him a similar question, to
which he replied in the same manner. According to some authors it
was accompanied with the same ceremonies, and conferred the same
privileges, as the other form of marriage; and it continued in use a
long time after _confarreatio_ was out of date.
That which was called _usus_, or usage, was when a woman, with consent
of her parents or guardians, lived a whole year with a man, without
being absent from his house three nights. She thus became his wife, and
is supposed to have had the same rights and privileges as other wives;
but if absent three nights, she was said to have annulled the contract.
No young man was allowed to marry before he was fourteen, and no girl
before she was twelve. A man sixty years old was not permitted to marry
a woman younger than fifty; and if he was more than sixty, he could not
marry a woman of fifty.
Brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, and cousin-germans, were not
permitted to marry each other. For some time it was contrary to law for
a patrician to marry a plebeian; but this continued only about five
years.
All alliances with women of blemished reputation, or low extraction,
were considered dishonorable. No marriage of a Roman with a foreigner
could be legal, unless express permission had been first obtained from
the government. Cicero even reproached Anthony for marrying Fulvia,
because her father was a freed-man. A law was, however, passed, by
which only senators, their sons, and grandsons, were forbidden to
marry a freed-woman, an actress, or the daughter of an actor. Finally
the right of citizenship was granted to all inhabitants of countries
belonging to the Roman empire, and the stigma attached to foreign
alliances was removed.
Neither sons nor daughters could marry without their father’s
approbation. The mother’s consent was usually asked as a matter of
propriety, though there was no legal restriction to that effect.
When the consent of parents had been obtained, the relatives held a
meeting to settle the articles of contract, which were written and
sealed, in presence of witnesses. They broke a straw, according to
their custom in making bargains; hence it was called stipulation, from
_stipula_, a straw. This occasion was usually celebrated by a feast,
during which the bridegroom made presents to the bride, and gave her a
ring, that in early times was plain, and made of iron, but afterwards
of gold. It was worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, on account
of the idea that a vein went from that finger to the heart. Some of
these bridal rings were made of brass or copper, with the figure of a
key, to signify that the husband delivered her the keys of his house.
Some of them have been found bearing devices; such as _I love you_.
_I wish you a happy life._ _Love me._ If, after the espousals, either
party wished to retract, they could do so, by observing certain forms.
The marriage portion varied according to the wealth and rank of the
parties. It was delivered in money, or secured upon lands; and was paid
at three terms fixed by law. The husband was not permitted to alienate
it; and in case of divorce, except it took place by his wife’s fault,
her relations could reclaim it. If any citizen caused a woman to lose
her fair fame, he was obliged to marry her without a portion, or give
her one proportioned to her rank. In the first days of the republic,
dowries were very small. The senate gave the daughter of Scipio about
£35 10_s._; and one Megullia was surnamed DOTATA, or the Great Fortune,
because she had £161 7_s._ 6_d._ sterling. But as wealth increased,
the marriage portions became greater, until eight or nine thousand
pounds sterling was the usual dowry of women of high rank. Seneca says,
“The sum that the senate thought sufficient dowry for the daughter of
Scipio, would not now suffice even the daughters of our freed-men to
buy a mirror.”
No marriage took place without first consulting the auspices, and
sacrificing to the gods, especially to Juno, who presided over
matrimonial engagements. Like the Greeks, they took the gall from the
victims, and threw it behind the altar.
Certain days and festivals were regarded as unlucky for a wedding;
particularly those marked in the calendar with black; but widows might
marry on those days. The whole month of May was regarded as unfortunate
for marriage, and the middle of June peculiarly auspicious. The
ceremony was performed at the house of the bride’s father, or nearest
relation. She was dressed in a long white robe bordered with purple,
and fastened with a girdle made of wool. Her hair was divided into six
locks with the point of a spear, and crowned with a wreath of vervain
gathered by herself. Her face was covered with a flame-colored veil,
and she wore high shoes of the same color. In the evening, she was
conducted to her husband’s house. She was taken apparently by force
from the arms of her mother, or nearest female relative, in memory of
the Sabine women seized by Roman soldiers. Three boys, who had parents
living, attended upon her; one supporting each arm, and the third
walking before her with a lighted flambeau. Relations and friends
eagerly sought to carry away this torch, when they came near the
bridegroom’s house; partly on account of some peculiar virtue it was
supposed to possess, and partly for fear it should be made use of for
some fascination, that would shorten the lives of the young couple.
A young slave followed the bride, carrying, in a covered vase, her
toilet, and corals, and children’s playthings of all kinds, accompanied
by maidens, bearing distaff, spindle, and wool. A great train of
relations and friends attended the nuptial procession. The door of the
bridegroom’s house was adorned with festoons, garlands of flowers,
and lists of woollen, rubbed with oil, and the fat of swine or wolves,
to avert enchantments. When the bride arrived thither, being asked who
she was, she answered, “Caia.” This custom was taken from the name
of Caia Cœcilia, generally called Tanaquil; and the bride’s answer
implied that she intended to imitate such a good and industrious wife.
She then bound the door-posts of her bridegroom with woollen fillets,
likewise anointed with oil, and the fat of swine or wolves; from this
circumstance the Latin word for wife is _uxor_, which signifies _the
anointer_; and our word uxorious is thence derived.
The bride was gently lifted over her husband’s threshold; for it was
reckoned a bad omen to touch it with her feet, because the threshold
was sacred to Vesta, who presided over female purity.
As soon as she entered, they sprinkled her with water, and delivered
the keys of the house, to show that she was intrusted with the
management of the family; and a sheep-skin was spread before her,
indicating that she was to work in wool. Both she and her husband were
required to touch fire and water; and with the water their feet were
afterward bathed. In the early ages they put a yoke about the neck
of the young couple, as an emblem of the mutual assistance they were
expected to render each other in the cares and duties of life. The
Latin word _conjugium_, a yoke, is the origin of our word conjugial.
The bridegroom feasted the relations, friends, and attendants of
himself and bride. He was placed at the head of the table, and
the bride was laid in his bosom. The feast was distinguished for
the abundance, variety, and delicacy of the refreshments. It was
accompanied with music. The guests sung to the honor of the newly
married an epithalamium, beginning and ending with acclamations, in
which was often repeated the name of _Thalassius_. The following
circumstance is supposed to have been the origin of this custom: when
the Sabine women were forcibly carried to the Roman camp, one of them,
very remarkable for her youthful beauty, attracted so much attention,
that quarrels were likely to ensue concerning her. The men who carried
her, wishing to avoid any such contention, thought of exclaiming
aloud that they were carrying her to Thalassius, a handsome and brave
young man, exceedingly beloved by the people. As soon as this was
proclaimed, the soldiers withdrew all opposition, and rent the air
with acclamations of the hero’s name. The marriage thus prepared for
Thalassius proved so happy and prosperous, that the Romans ever after,
in their epithalamia, were accustomed to wish the newly-married pair a
destiny like his.
The bride was conducted to her apartment by matrons, who had been
married to only one husband. The bridegroom scattered nuts among the
boys, and the bride consecrated her dolls and playthings to Venus,
thereby intimating that they relinquished the sports of childhood. When
the guests departed, small presents were distributed among them.
Next day another entertainment was given, when presents were sent to
the bride by relations and friends, and she performed certain sacred
rites appropriate to the mistress of a family. The goods which a woman
brought her husband beside her dowry were called _bona paraphernalia_.
Daughters generally received the name of their father, or some
relation, varied only by ending according to the feminine instead of
the masculine gender: thus Hortensia was the daughter of Hortensius;
and the two daughters of Mark Antony were named Antonia Major, and
Antonia Minor. By way of endearment they frequently made use of those
diminutives, to which the language of Italy owes so much of its
gracefulness; thus the beloved daughter of Tullius Cicero was called
Tulliola. In a numerous family, girls were often distinguished from
each other by the diminutives of numbers; as Secundilla, and Quartilla,
the Second and the Fourth. At marriage, a woman retained her original
name with the addition of her husband’s; thus Cornelia, the wife of
Sempronius Gracchus, was called Cornelia Sempronia.
The birth of children was celebrated by a domestic festival, during
which the gates were adorned with branches, garlands, and lamps, and
a piece of money was deposited in the temple of Juno Lucina, whose
office corresponded to the Eleutho of the Grecians. Boys received the
family name on the ninth day after birth, and girls on the eighth; but
they did not give the _prænomen_, or, as we should say, the _baptismal
name_, until they took the virile robe, which marked their entrance
into manhood; and girls did not receive it till they were married.
Romulus introduced the Spartan custom of exposing all sickly and
deformed children; with this restriction, that every child should be
nourished three years, in order to try whether it would not, in that
interval, attain health and vigor. In later times, this prohibition was
disregarded, and the custom of exposing infants became very common.
While the Romans retained their primitive simplicity, mothers nursed
their own babes, and would have considered it a great misfortune or
reproach, to have employed another to fulfil that tender office; but
as luxury increased, indolence and love of pleasure so far conquered
maternal affection, that women of rank almost universally consigned
their children to the care of female slaves.