He seemed pleased with my frankness. I cannot comprehend how a woman
could solicit love, and say: Love me, admire me.... For a king I could
not thus degrade myself. Tenderness is involuntary; one may seek to win
it, one may gladly accept it when offered; but to solicit it, is even
more ridiculous than criminal.
The washing of the feet is one of the most striking ceremonies of our
religion. A king kneeling before those twelve aged men, and then
standing behind them while they are at table, is a most touching and
sublime spectacle. That ceremony can never pass from my memory. Augustus
III, although no longer young, is still handsome; his gestures bear the
impress of dignity and nobility: the prince royal, Charles, resembles
him exactly.
On Good Friday we visited the sepulchre; all the court ladies were
dressed in black; we made our stations in seven churches, and in each we
said appropriate prayers. I was on my knees during a whole hour in the
cathedral. On Holy Saturday the services were magnificent, and the
organs pealed forth the most heavenly strains of music.
Tho princess's Easter collation (swiencone) was superb; until yesterday,
the tables were continually covered with cakes and cold meats. It is
just one year since I assisted at Madame Strumle's very modest
collation; I was then a schoolgirl; who could have guessed that on the
following Easter Monday I should be with the princess palatiness, that
the prince royal would partake of the same collation with myself, and
that we should eat out of the same plate!
One really finds a pleasure in eating meat after a Lent so rigorously
observed; for all here are as particular as at Maleszow. During holy
week, everything is cooked in oil, and on Good Friday a severe fast is
adhered to, each one taking only food sufficient to keep him from
starving.
The prince royal has fasted so much that he has become quite thin. I
noticed this yesterday, and my eyes involuntarily rested upon his
features with a more tender expression than usual: as he was talking
with the prince palatine, I did not think he was paying any attention to
me, but thoughts springing from the heart never escape him, he is so
good, so quick in understanding; soon after, he thanked me for my
solicitude. I grew very red, and promised myself in future to keep a
strict guard over the expression of my eyes.
A woman's part, especially that of an unmarried girl, is very difficult;
not only must she measure out her words and watch the tones of her
voice, but she must also command the expression of her countenance. I
must ask, of what use are governesses and their lessons in such cases?
The princess is quite right when she says, that ten governesses, let
them be as watchful as they may, cannot guard a young girl who does not
know how to guard herself.