The next few days were intolerable. But of course, after the first
passion of disappointment, she began to hope; he would write fully in a
few days. She kept calculating how soon she might expect this fuller
letter. She did not write to him, for as he had given no address it was
evident that he did not wish to hear from her.
That week passed, and then another, and though he wrote, he did not
write "fully." In fact, he made no allusion whatever to Frederick, or
the future. Helena was instant with explanation: he was absorbed with
business; Alice was with him; he had no time. That these were absurd
excuses she knew. But they were the best she could find, and she had to
have excuses. It was at this time that she saw herself age. When still
another week passed, the tension lessened; indeed, she would have
broken down under the strain if she had not fallen into a sort of
apathy. She told herself that after all there was no reason why she
should leave Old Chester immediately. Mr. Benjamin Wright's insolence
had been outrageous and he was a horrible old man; but he had said that
he would not speak of her affairs. So as far as he was concerned she
could perfectly well wait until that Western trip was over; she would
just try not to think of him. So she played with David, and talked to
him, and listened to his confidences about the journey to Philadelphia
which Dr. Lavendar planned. It was more than two months off, but that
did not trouble David. He and Dr. Lavendar had long talks on the
subject, of which, occasionally, the little boy dropped condescending
hints.
"Maybe I'll take you to Philadelphia," Helena said once, jealously;
"will you like that?"
"Yes'm," said David, without enthusiasm.
At which she reproached him; "I should think you would like to go with
me, to see Liberty Bell?"
Silence.
"And maybe Mr. Pryor will take you to ride on a steamboat," she lured
him.
"I like Dr. Lavendar best," said David, with alarm.
It was only David with whom Helena talked in these days of waiting; Old
Chester found her still unsociable, and William King was obliged to
admit that his party had not accomplished much. However, he insisted
upon being sociable himself, and continued to come frequently to see
her on the ground that she was not very well. Before she knew it she
yielded again to the temptation of friendliness, and was glad to see
the big, kind figure trudging up the garden path. He told her all the
news Old Chester afforded, which was not extensive, and she replied
with that listening silence which is so pleasant and that gave the
doctor the opportunity--so valued by us all--of hearing himself talk;
an opportunity not often allowed him in his own house. The silence
covered bleak anxiety and often an entire absence of mind; but William,
rambling on, could not know that. He was perfectly happy to look at
her, although sometimes his face sobered, for hers had changed. It was
paler; the delicate oval of her cheek had hollowed; the charming
indolence had gone; the eyes had lost their sweet shallowness,
something cowered in their depths that he could not clearly see--fear,
perhaps, or pain. Or perhaps it was her soul. Sometimes when the body
relaxes its grip a little, the convict soul within struggles up to look
with frightened bewilderment out of the windows of its prison. Dr. King
watching the childlike droop of Helena's lip, admitted reluctantly that
she had changed. "Depressed," he told himself. So he did his best to
cheer her with Old Chester's harmless gossip; and one day--it was in
September--she did show a quick and even anxious interest.
"Sam Wright's Sam has come back," the doctor said, "the young man
arrived on the noon stage. I wonder what monkey-shines he'll be up to
next!"
"_Oh!_" she said, and he saw her hands clasp in her lap; "I wonder if
his grandfather knows?"
The color was hot in her face, and William said to himself that the cub
ought to be thrashed! "Maybe he's got some sense by this journey in
search of a publisher," he announced comfortingly.
In her consciousness of old Mr. Wright's dismay, she hardly heard what
the doctor said; but she asked vaguely if Sam had found a publisher.
"Perhaps; I don't know. There are fools in every profession--except
medicine, of course! But I believe he has not imparted any information
on that point. His father merely told me he had come back." In spite of
himself, William's face fell into its own kind lines. "His father is
hard on him," he said; and then he began to tell her stories of the
three generations of Wrights; ending with the statement that, in a dumb
sort of fashion, Samuel loved his son like the apple of his eye. "But
he has always taken hold of him the wrong way," William said.
Certainly the doctor's opinion was borne out by the way in which Sam
senior took hold of his son on his return. Reproaches were perhaps to
be expected, but, alas, the poor, sore-hearted father tried sneers as
well. A sneer is like a flame; it may occasionally be curative because
it cauterizes, but it leaves a bitter scar. Of his dreadful anxiety in
these seven or eight weeks of absence, of his sleepless nights, of his
self-accusings, of his anguished affection, the senior warden could
find nothing to say; but for anger and disappointment and contempt he
had fluent and searing words. Such words were only the recoil from
anxiety; but Sam could not know that; he only knew that he was a
disgrace to his family. The information left him apparently unmoved. He
did not betray--very likely he really did not recognize in himself--the
moral let-down that is almost always the result of such upbraiding. He
was silent under his father's reproaches, and patient under his
mother's embraces. He vouchsafed no information beyond, "I had to come
back," which was really no information at all. Mr. Wright sneered at
it, but Mrs. Wright was moved, she said, her mild eyes swimming in
tears, "Of course, Sammy, dear. Mother understands. I knew you couldn't
stay away from us."
Sam sighed, submitting to be kissed, and turned to go up-stairs; but
something made him hesitate,--perhaps his mother's worn face. He came
back, and bending down kissed her cheek. Mrs. Wright caught her breath
with astonishment, but the boy made no explanation. He went on up to
his own room and standing listlessly at the window, said again to
himself, "I had to come back." After a while he added "But I won't
bother her." He had already forgotten the two sore hearts down-stairs.
The next morning he hurried to church; but Mrs. Richie was not there,
and in his disappointment he was as blind to Old Chester's curious
glances as he was deaf to Dr. Lavendar's sermon.
The long morning loitered past. After dinner the Wright family
dispersed for its customary Sunday afternoon nap. The senior warden,
with _The Episcopalian_, as large as a small blanket, spread over his
face, slept heavily in the library; Mrs. Wright dozed in her bedroom
with one finger marking her place in a closed volume of sermons; the
little girls wandered stealthily about the garden, memorizing by their
father's orders their weekly hymn. The house was still, and very hot.
All the afternoon young Sam lay upon his bed turning the pages of _The
Wealth of Nations_, and brooding over his failures: he could not make
Mrs. Richie love him; he could not write a great drama; he could not
add up a column of figures; he could not understand his father's rages
at unimportant things; "and nobody cares a continental whether I am
dead or alive!--except mother," he ended; and his face softened. At
five o'clock he reminded himself that he must go up to The Top for
supper. But it was nearly six before he had energy enough to rise. The
fact was, he shrank from telling his grandfather that the drama was no
longer in existence. He had been somewhat rudely rebuffed by the only
person who had looked at his manuscript, and had promptly torn the play
up and scattered the fragments out of the window of his boarding-house.
That was two days ago. The curious lassitude which followed this
_acces_ of passion was probably increased by the senior warden's
reproaches. But Sam believed himself entirely indifferent both to his
literary failure, and to his father's scolding. Neither was in his mind
as he climbed the hill, and halted for a wistful moment at the green
gate in the hedge; but he had no glimpse of Mrs. Richie.
He found his grandfather sitting on the veranda behind the big white
columns, reading aloud, and gesticulating with one hand:
"'But if proud Mortimer do wear this crown,
Heaven turn it to a blaze of quenchless fire
Or like the snaky wreath of Sisiphon--'"
He looked up irritably at the sound of a step on the weedy driveway,
then his eyes snapped with delight.
"Hullo--hullo! what's this?"
"I had to come back, grandfather," Sam said.
"Well! Well!" said Benjamin Wright, his whole face wrinkling with
pleasure. "'Had to come back?' Money gave out, I suppose? Sit down, sit
down! Hi, Simmons! Damn that nigger. Simmons, here's Master Sam. What
have you got for supper? Well, young man, did you get some sense
knocked into you?" He was trembling with eagerness. Marlowe, in
worm-eaten calf, dropped from his hand to the porch floor. Sam picked
the book up, and sat down.
"If you wanted some more money, why the devil didn't you say so?"
"I had money enough, sir."
"Well--what about the drama?" his grandfather demanded.
"He said it was no good."
"Who said it was no good?" Mr. Wright pulled off his hat, fiercely, and
began to chew orange-skin. Sam, vaguely turning over the leaves of the
book upon his knee, mentioned the name of a publisher. "Fool!" said
Benjamin Wright; "what does he know? Well; I hope you didn't waste time
over him. Then who did you send it to?"
"Nobody."
"Nobody! What did you do with it?"
"Oh, tore it up," Sam said patiently.
His grandfather fell back in his chair, speechless, A moment later, he
told Sam he was not only a fool, but a d--
"Supper's ready, suh," said Simmons. "Glad you're back, Master Sam. He
ain't lookin' peart, suh?" Simmons added confidentially to Mr. Wright.
"Well, you get some of that Maderia--'12," commanded the old man,
pulling himself up from his chair. "Sam, you are a born idiot, aren't
you? Come and have some supper. Didn't I tell you you might have to try
a dozen publishers before you found one who had any sense? Your
experience just shows they're a fool lot. And you tore up your
manuscript! Gad-a-mercy!" He grinned and swore alternately, and banged
his hat on to his head so that his ears flattened out beneath the brim
like two red flaps.
They sat down at either end of the dining-room table, Simmons standing
at one side, his yellow eyes gleaming with interested affection and his
fly-brush of long peacock feathers waving steadily, even when he moved
about with the decanter.
"I had to come back," Sam repeated, and drank his glass of '12 Maderia
with as much appreciation as if it had been water.
"I've got a new family," Mr. Wright declared, "Simmons, unhook that
second cage, and show him the nest. Look at that. Three of 'em.
Hideous, ain't they? Simmons, you didn't chop that egg fine enough. Do
you want to kill 'em all? A nigger has no more feeling for birds than a
cat."
"I done chop it, as--"
"Hold your tongue!" said Mr. Wright, amiably "Here; take that." He
fumbled in his vest pocket, and the peacock feathers dipped dangerously
as Simmons caught the expected cigar. "Come, come, young man, haven't
you had enough to eat? Give him another glass of wine, Simmons, you
freckled nigger! Come out on the porch, and tell me your wanderings,
Ulysses."
The boy was faintly impressed by his grandfather's attentions; he felt
that he was welcome, which gave him a vague sort of pleasure. On the
porch, in the hot dusk, Benjamin Wright talked; once or twice, apropos
of nothing, he quoted some noble stanza, apparently for the joy of the
rolling numbers. The fact was, he was full of happiness at his
grandson's return, but he had had so little experience in happiness
that he did not know how to express it. He asked a good many questions,
and received apathetic answers.
"Have you got any notes of the drama?"
"No, sir."
"Doggone your picter!--
"'Then sing, ye birds, sing, sing a joyous song,
And let the young lambs bound
As to the tabor's sound!"
So you made up your mind to come home?"
"I had to come back," Sam said.
There was a pause. Benjamin Wright was reminding himself that in
handling a boy, one must be careful not to Say the wrong thing; one
must express one's self with reserve and delicacy; one must weigh one's
words--boys were such jackasses.
"Well;" he said, "got over your fool falling in love with a female old
enough to be your mother?"
Sam looked at him.
"I hope your trip has put sense into you on that subject, anyhow?"
"I love Mrs. Richie as much as I ever did, if that's what you mean,
sir," Sam said listlessly.
Upon which his grandfather flew into instant rage. "As much in love as
ever! Gad-a-mercy! Well; I give you up, sir, I give you up. I spend my
money to get you out of this place, away from this female, old enough
to be your grandmother, and you come back and say you are as much in
love with her as ever. I swear, I don't believe you have a drop of my
blood in you!" He flung his cigar away, and plunged his hand down into
the ginger-jar on the bench beside him; "A little boy like you, just in
breeches! Why, your mother ought to put you over her knee, and--" he
stopped. "You have no sense, Sam," he added with startling mildness.
But Sam's face was as red as his grandfather's. "She is only ten years
older than I. That is nothing. Nothing at all. If she will overlook my
comparative youth and marry me, I--"
"Damnation!" his grandfather screamed.. "_She_ overlook? _She_?"
"I am younger," the boy said; "but love isn't a matter of age. It's a
matter of the soul."
"A matter of the soul!" said Benjamin Wright; "a matter of--of a
sugar-tit for a toothless baby! Which is just about what you are. That
female, I tell you could have dandled you on her knee ten years ago."
Sam got up; he was trembling all over.
"You needn't insult me," he said.
Instantly his grandfather was calm. He stopped chewing orange-skin, and
looked hard at his ridgy finger-nails.
"I shall ask her again," Sam said. "I said I wouldn't, but I will. I
must. That was why I came back. And as for my age, that's her business
and mine."
"You've drunk too much," said his grandfather, "Sit down. I've
something to say to you. You can't marry that woman. Do you understand
me?"
"You mean she doesn't care for me?" Sam laughed noisily. "I'll make
her. Old--young--what does it matter? She must!" He flung up his arms,
and then sank down and hid his face in his hands.
"Sammy," said the old man, and stopped. "Sam, it can't be. Don't you
understand me? She isn't fit to marry."
The young man gaped at him, blankly.
"She's--bad," Benjamin Wright said, in a low voice.
"How dare you!" cried the other, his frowning bewilderment changing
slowly to fury; "how dare you? If she had a relative here to protect
her, you would never dare! If her brother was here, he would shoot you;
but she has me, and I--"
"Her _brother_!" said Benjamin Wright; "Sam, my boy, he isn't her
brother."
"Isn't he?" Sam flung back at him, "well, what of that? I'm glad of it;
I hate him." He stood up, his hands clenched, his head flung back.
"What difference does it make to me what he is? Her cousin, her
friend--what do I care? If she marries me, what do I care for
relations?"
His grandfather looked up at him aghast; the young, insulted innocence
of love blazed in the boy's face. "Gad-a-mercy," said Mr. Wright, in a
whisper, "_he doesn't understand!_" He pulled himself on to his shaking
legs, and laid his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Sam," he said
very gently, "he is her lover, my boy." Sam's lips fell apart; he
gasped heavily; his hands slowly opened and shut, and he swayed from
side to side; his wild eyes were fixed on that old face, all softened
and moved and pitying. Then, with a discordant shriek of laughter, he
flung out his open hand and struck his grandfather full in the face.
"You old fool! You lie! You lie! Do you hear me?"
Benjamin Wright, staggering slightly from the blow, tried to speak, but
the boy, still laughing shrilly, leaped down the porch steps, and out
into the darkness.
"I'll ask her!" he screamed back; "you liar!"