Helena stood breathing quickly; it was as if she had been smothering,
and suddenly felt free air. She was alone. The people--the terrible,
persistently friendly, suffocating people, were gone! She could draw a
full breath; she could face her own blazing fact; ... _Frederick was
dead._
She was walking back and forth, staring with unseeing eyes at the
confusion of the room--chairs pulled out from their accustomed places;
two card-tables with a litter of cards and counters; the astral-lamp
burning low on the rosewood table that was cluttered with old
daguerreotypes belonging to the house. The dining-room door was ajar,
and as she passed it she had a glimpse of the empty disorder of the
room, and could hear her two women moving about, carrying off plates
and glasses and talking to each other.
"Well, I like company," she heard Sarah say. "I wish she'd have
somebody in every day."
And Maggie's harsh murmur: "You ain't got to cook for 'em." Then the
clatter of forks and spoons in the pantry.
"Seemed to me like as if she wasn't real glad to see 'em," Sarah
commented. "My! look at all this here good cake crumbled up on
somebody's plate."
"Well, a widow woman don't enjoy company," Maggie explained.
A minute later Sarah came bustling in to close the parlor windows for
the night, and started to find the room still occupied. "I thought you
had gone upstairs, ma'am," the girl stammered, wondering nervously if
she had said anything that she would not care to have overheard.
"I am going now," Mrs. Richie said, drawing a long breath, and opening
and shutting her eyes in a dazed way;--"like as if she'd been asleep
and was woke up, sudden," Sarah told Maggie later.
In her own room, the door locked, she sank down in a chair, her clasped
hands falling between her knees, her eyes staring at the floor.
_Dead._
How long he had been about dying. Thirteen years ago Lloyd had said,
"He'll drink himself to death in six months; and then--!" Well; at
least part of the programme was carried out: he drank. But he did not
die. No; he went on living, living, living! That first year they were
constantly asking each other for news of him: "Have you heard
anything?" "Yes; an awful debauch. Oh, he can't stand it. He'll be in
his grave before Christmas." But Christmas came, and Frederick was
still living. Then it was "before spring"--"before fall"--"before
Christmas" again. And yet he went on living. And she had gone on
living, too. At first, joyously, except when she brooded over the
baby's death; then impatiently--for Frederick would not die! Then,
gradually, gradually, with weary acceptance of the situation. Only in
the last two or three years had she begun to live anxiously, as she
realized how easily Lloyd was accepting Frederick's lease of life. Less
and less often he inquired whether Mr. Raynor had mentioned Frederick's
health in the letter that came with her quarterly statement. By and by,
it was she, not Lloyd, who asked, "Have you heard anything of
Frederick?"
The house was quite silent now, except when Sarah trudged up the back
stairs with the clanking silver-basket on her arm. The lamp on the
corner of her bureau flickered, and a spark wavered up the chimney; the
oil was gone and the wick charring. She got up and blew the smouldering
flame out; then sat down again in the darkness.... Yes; Lloyd was no
longer vitally interested in Frederick's health. She must make up her
mind to that. But after all, what difference did that make? He loved
her just the same, only men are not like women, they don't keep on
saying so,--for that matter, she herself did not say so as often as in
those first days. But of course she loved him just as much. She had
grown a little dull, she supposed. No; she would not distrust him. She
was sure he loved her. Yet behind her most emphatic assertions cowered
that dumb apprehension which had struck its cold talons into her heart
the day that David had hurt his hand: ... _Suppose Frederick's death
should be an embarrassment to Lloyd!_
In the darkness, with the brush of the locust branches against the
closed shutters of the east window, her face blazed with angry color,
and she threw her head up with a surge of pride. "If he doesn't want
me, I don't want him!" she said aloud. She pulled the lace bertha from
her shoulders, and began to take out her hairpins, "I sha'n't be the
one to say 'Let us be married.'"
When she lay down in the darkness, her eyes wide open, her arms
straight at her sides, it flashed into her mind that Frederick was
lying still and straight, too. His face must be white, now; sunken,
perhaps; the leer of his pale eyes changed into the sly smile of the
dead. _Dead._ Oh, at last, at last!--and her mind rushed back to its
own affairs....That horrible old Mr. Wright and his insinuations; how
she had worried over them and over the difficulty of getting away from
Old Chester, only that afternoon. Ah, well, she need never think of
such things again, for never again could any one have an insulting
thought about her; and as for her fear that Lloyd would not want her to
leave Old Chester--why, he would take her away himself! And once
outside of Old Chester, she would have a place in the world like other
women. She was conscious of a sudden and passionate elation: _Like
other women._ The very words were triumphant! Yes; like that dreadful
Mrs. King; oh, how intolerably stupid the woman was, how she disliked
her; but when Lloyd came and they went away together, she would be like
Mrs. King! She drew an exultant breath and smiled proudly in the
darkness. For the moment the cowering fear was forgotten....How soon
could he come? He ought to have the telegram by ten the next
morning--too late to catch the express for Mercer. He would take the
night train, and arrive at noon on Saturday. A day and a half to wait.
And at that she realized with sudden astonishment that it was still
Thursday. It seemed hours and hours since she had read that telegram.
Yet it was scarcely an hour ago that she had been dancing the Virginia
reel with those terrible people! A little later she had noticed William
King lingering behind the departing guests; how annoyed she had been at
his slowness. Then he had taken that envelope out of his pocket--she
gasped again, remembering the shock of its contents.
In this tumult of broken and incoherent thought, the night passed. It
was not until dawn that her mind cleared enough for consecutive
thinking, and when it did she was so fatigued that she fell asleep and
slept heavily till awakened by an anxious knock at her door. Had Mrs.
Richie one of her headaches? Should Sarah bring her some coffee?
"Why, what time is it? Has David gone to school? What! ten o'clock!"
She was broad awake at that--he must have got the despatch. Allowing
for delays, his answer ought to reach her by noon.
She sprang up with the instinct to do something to get ready! She began
to plan her packing, the thrill of action tingling through her. She
dressed hurriedly, looking incessantly at the clock, and then laughing
to herself. What difference did it make how late it was? By no
possibility could Lloyd appear on the morning stage; unless, yes, it
_was_ possible; Mr. Raynor might have telegraphed him. No; Mr. Raynor
had never recognized the situation. Lloyd could not reach her until
noon on Saturday; he could only telegraph. She sighed and resigned
herself to facts, drinking the coffee Sarah brought her, and asking
whether David was all right. "Poor darling, having his breakfast all
alone," she said. Then she looked at the clock; Lloyd's despatch could
hardly arrive for another hour.
The still, hot morning stretched interminably before her. A dozen times
it was on her lips to order the trunks brought down from the garret. A
dozen times some undefined sense of fitness held her back. When his
answer came, when he actually said the word--then; but not till
then.... What time was it? After eleven! She would go into the garden,
where she could look down the road and have the first glimpse of Eddy
Minns climbing the hill. With her thoughts in galloping confusion, she
put on her flat hat with its twist of white lace about the crown, and
went out into the heat. From the bench under the big poplar she looked
across at the girdling hills, blue and hot in the still flood of noon;
below her was the valley, now a sea of treetops islanded with Old
Chester roofs and chimneys; there was no gleam of the river through the
midsummer foliage. She took her watch out of the little watch-pocket at
her waist--nearly twelve! If he had got the despatch at nine, it was
surely time for an answer. Still, so many things might have happened to
delay it. He might have been late in getting to his office; or, for
that matter, Eddy Minns might be slow about coming up the hill.
Everybody was slow in Old Chester!
The empty road ran down to the foot of the hill, no trudging messenger
climbed its hot slope. Twelve.
"I'll not look at the road for five minutes," she told herself,
resolutely, and sat staring at the watch open in her hand. Five minutes
later she snapped the lid shut, and looked. Blazing, unbroken sunshine.
"It ought to have been here by this time," she thought with a
tightening of her lips. Perhaps he was away? Her heart sank at that;
but how absurd! Suppose he was. What did a few hours' waiting amount
to? She had waited thirteen years.
For another hour she watched in the heat and silence of the garden;
then started to hear Sarah, at her elbow, saying that dinner was on the
table.
"Very well," she answered impatiently. "I'll wait another five
minutes," she said to herself. But she waited ten. When she sat down in
the dining-room, she ate almost nothing. Once she asked Sarah if she
knew how long it took for a despatch to come from Philadelphia to Old
Chester. Sarah gaped at the question, and said she didn't know as she'd
ever heard.
In the afternoon, with covert glances out of the window, she kept
indoors and tried to put her mind on practical things: the arrangements
with her landlord for cancelling the lease; the packing and shipping of
furniture. At last, on a sudden impulse, she said to herself that she
would go and meet David as he came home from school--and call at the
telegraph-office.
In the post-office, where the telegraph bound Old Chester to the outer
world, Mrs. Minns, looking up from her knitting, saw the tense face at
the delivery window.
"No letters for you, Mrs. Richie," she said; then she remembered the
telegram that had by this time interested all Old Chester, and got up
and came forward, sympathetically curious. "Well'm; I suppose there's a
good deal of dyin' this time of year?"
"Have you a despatch for me?" Mrs. Richie said curtly.
"No'm;" said Mrs. Minns.
"Did Dr. King send a telegram for me this morning?" she asked in a
sudden panic of alarm.
"Yes'm," the postmistress said, "he sent it."
Mrs. Richie turned away, and began to walk about the office; up and
down, up and down. Once she stopped and read the names on the
pigeonholes of the letter-rack; once the telegraph instrument clicked,
and she held her breath: "Is that mine?"
"It ain't," Mrs. Minns said laconically.
Helena went to the open doorway, and gazed blankly out into Main
Street. She might as well go home; he wasn't going to telegraph. She
told herself that he was out of town, and had not received her
despatch. But her explanation was not convincing; if he was away, the
despatch would have been forwarded to him. It must be that as he was
coming on Saturday, he had not thought it worth while to telegraph. She
wandered aimlessly out into the hot street--there was no use waiting
any longer; and as for meeting David, he had gone home long ago.
As she went up the street, Dr. Lavendar stopped her. He had been told
that the news of the night before did not mean affliction, but Dr.
Lavendar knew that there are worse things than affliction, so he stood
ready to offer comfort if it was needed. But apparently it was not
wanted, and after a minute's pause, he began to speak of his own
affairs: "I've been wondering if you would trust David to me for two or
three days in October."
"David?" she repeated, blankly; her mind was very far away from David.
"I have to go to Philadelphia then;" Dr. Lavendar was really eager;
"and if you will let me take him along--I guess Rose Knight will let
him off--we would have a fine time!"
"Certainly, Dr. Lavendar," she said, courteously. But she thought
quickly, that she and David would not be in Old Chester in October.
However, she could not explain that to Dr. Lavendar. It was easier to
say yes, and be done with it. "Good evening," she added impatiently,
for the old gentleman would have kept her indefinitely, talking about
David.
But as she climbed the hill her mind went out to the child with the
relief of one who in darkness opens a door towards the light. She found
him in the parlor, curled up in a big chair by the window, looking at a
picture-book. He climbed down immediately, and came and took her hand
in his, a demonstration of affection so unusual that she caught him in
her arms and might have cuddled him with the undesired "forty kisses,"
if he had not gently moved his head aside. But her eyes were so blurred
with tears of fatigue and Fright she did not notice the rebuff.
The next twenty-four hours were tense with expectation and fear.
Helena's mind veered almost with every breath: He had not telegraphed
because he had not received her despatch; because he was away from
home; because he was coming on Saturday;--_because he was sorry
Frederick was dead..._
Saturday morning she and David watched the hill road from nine o'clock
until stage-time. From the green bench under the poplar, the tavern
porch on Main Street could just be seen; and at a little before twelve
Jonas's lean, shambling nags drew up before it. Mrs. Richie was very
pale. David, fretting at the dullness of the morning, asked her some
question, but She did not hear him, and he pulled at her skirt. "Does
everything grow?"
"Yes, dear, yes; I suppose so."
"How big is everything when it begins to grow?"
"Oh, dear little boy, don't ask so many questions!"
"When you began to grow, how big were you? Were you an inch big?"
"If he has come," she said breathlessly, "the stage will get up here in
fifteen minutes!"
David sighed.
"Oh, why don't they start?" she panted; "what _is_ the matter!"
"It's starting," David said.
"Come, David, hurry!" she cried. "We must be at the gate!" She took his
hand, and ran down the path to the gate in the hedge. As she stood
there, panting, she pressed her fingers hard on her lips; they must not
quiver before the child. She kept her watch in her hand. "It isn't time
yet to see them; it will take Jonas ten minutes to get around to the
foot of the hill."
Overhead the flicker of locust leaves cast checkering lights and
shadows on her white dress and across the strained anxiety of her face.
She kept her eyes on her watch, and the ten minutes passed in silence.
Then she went out into the road and looked down its length of noon-tide
sunshine; the stage was not in sight. "Perhaps," she thought, "it would
take twenty minutes to get to the foot of the hill? I'll not look down
the road for ten minutes more." After a while she said faintly, "Is
it--coming?"
"No'm," David assured her, "Mrs. Richie, what does God eat?"
There was no answer.
"Does he eat us?"
"No, of course not."
"Why not?"
Helena lifted her head, suddenly, "It would take twenty-five
minutes--I'm sure it would."
She got up and walked a little way down the road, David tagging
thoughtfully behind her. There was no stage in sight. "David, run down
the hill to the turn, and look."
The little boy, nothing loath, ran, at the turn he shook his head, and
called back, "No'm. Mrs. Richie, He _must_, 'cause there's nothing goes
to heaven but us. Chickens don't," he explained anxiously. But she did
not notice his alarm.
"I'll wait another five minutes," she said. She waited ten; and then
another ten. "David," she said, in a smothered voice, "go; tell Maggie
he isn't coming--to dinner. You have your dinner, dear little boy.
I--don't want any."
She went up-stairs to her own room, and shut and locked the door. All
was over....
Yet when, in the early afternoon, the mail arrived, she had a pang of
hope that was absolute agony, for he had written.
There were only a dozen lines besides the "Dearest Nelly":
"I am just starting out West, rather unexpectedly, on business. I am
taking Alice along, and she is greatly delighted at the idea of a
journey--her first. I don't know just when I'll get back; not for six
weeks anyhow. Probably eight. Hope you and your youngster are all right.
"Yours, L. P.
"Your despatch received. We must talk things over the next time I come
to Old Chester."
She passed her hand over her eyes in a bewildered way; for a moment the
words had absolutely no sense. Then she read them again: "We must talk
things Over--"
What things? Why, their marriage, of course! Their marriage? She burst
out laughing; and David, looking at her, shrank away.