look with them etarnal long big eyes that made me a'most jump on eend,
and yit I sot like a great gawk a staring right intu her face, jest as
if I hadn't no marners. Quill wheels and cheese presses! wasn't that
critter something worth while! sich lips--red as a blood beet, and shiny
as a harnful of wintergreen berries! Consarn it, if ther'd been a honey
bee in the theatre, he couldn't a kept from lighting right between 'em;
and if he didn't find the breath as sweet agin as all the honey he ever
stole from a clover top, I must a been darndly cheated by the looks on
'em--that's jest it. Her neck, and that great broad forred of her'n,
looked sort brown and slick, alike a hazlenut jest afore it rattles from
the shuck; and I never see a crow a flying in the hot sun so black and
shiny, as the thick swad of hair that hung braided and twistified up
with gold chains, rale ginuine gold, all round that harnsome head of
her'n. I swan tu man, she was the fust gal that ever made Jonathan Slick
feel as if he wasn't tu hum in good company. Our black colt, with his
taperin limbs, that soft shiny mane, and them eyes that seemed to ketch
fire when the sun strikes 'em--is about as much like a common cider mill
horse, as she is like the generality of wimmin folks. She was eenajest
as tall as I be, and big enough every way to match--a rale downright
sneezer of a gal, that a'most took away my breath every time my eye
ketched her'n: and consarn me, if that wasn't every two seconds while I
sot there.
Wal, there we sot and sot, till the curtin right afore us came down
ca-chunk agin the floor, and all the folks riz up as if it was time tu
be a goin. The gal got up, took the bottle and hankercher in one hand,
and seemed tu be kinder lookin around for something. I was jest a
crookin my elbow, and had eenamost said, "Shall I have the pleasure to
see you hum marm?" as we do at singin school, when a feller that had
been settin right behind us riz up and stuck out his hand as nat'ral as
git out.
The gal kinder gin a turn, and while she made bleeve pin her shawl,
chucked a piece o' paper into my hand, and put the consarned little hand
that I'd been a nussing in mine, right through that tall chap's arm, and
went off as if nothing was the matter. I turned round like a great gawk,
and took arter em. I jest ketched one squint at them tarnal black eyes
and at a swad o' hair that stuck out on his upper lip, like a gray cat's
whiskers, and then I found myself standing, like any other darned coot,
all alone under a street lamp, a tryin to cypher out the leetle finefied
words writ out on that piece o' paper. Arter a good deal of extra
spellin I found out the meanin, and that was an invite to come and see
that gal in the morning, at a house in ----.
Wal, I did the paper up, put both hands in my trousers pockets, and
arter lookin at myself from top to toe, sez I--
"Jonathan Slick, you must be a consarned sight harnsomer chap than ever
I took you to be, that's sartin."
Wal, I couldn't ketch a wink of sleep all night, but kept up a tarnal
thinkin about that gal; and there lay Captin Doolittle a snorin away in
the berth right above me, like a tin peddler's toot-horn run crazy. I
swan, it was as much as I could du to keep from gettin up and chokin the
varmint. Turights the daylight cum a sneakin intu the cabin as lazy as
ever you see daybreak come on; and jest arter the sun got up, Captin
Doolittle begun to stir his stumps about breakfast. He and I and the
little nigger sot down, but I felt kinder peaked and couldn't hoe my row
a bit; so the Captin and the nigger did extra duty, and stowed away for
me.
Your loving son,
JONATHAN SLICK.
* * * * *
LETTER XXIX.
Jonathan Visits the Handsome Girl--Describes a Gambling-House in the
Morning before it is put to rights--Visits the Lady's Boudoir--Describes
the Furniture, the Lady, her Dress, and Conversation--Is Interrupted by
the Gentleman of the House--And leaves with a promise to return and
escort Miss Sneers to Mad. Castellan's Concert.
DEAR PAR:
Wal, as I was sayin, I pulled foot down one of them streets that run off
kinder catecorned by the Park, till I cum right agin the house pinted
out in the paper which that harnsome gal had gin me. I kinder cut across
the street and stood over agin the house, detarmined tu take a sort o'
observation afore I sot my foot inside the doorway. It was an allfired
harnsome consarn, with one story piled atop of t'other, till you could
count four rows of winders, besides a row of young ones, stuck right in
tu the edge of the ruff. A lot of stone steps run up tu the front door,
and an iron fence twistified and curlecued round the edges run along
each eend. The winders all on 'em had green slats shut over 'em, the
door follered the fashion, and the hull consarn seemed tu be shut up
agin winter.
Wal, I cut across the street and went straight up the steps. There was a
great chunk o' silver sot intu a kind of a silver sarser nailed agin the
door post, and with a name writ round the edge on it. Arter giving the
chunk a sneakin pull, to be sartin it would give and meant somethin, I
gin it an allfired jerk--and turights there was a tinklin and ringin
inside, as if an old wether with a fust rate bell on, had took to
scootin over the house.
I hadn't more'n got my hand off the chunk, when the green slats swung
open jest as easy, and a yaller nigger stood inside a eyeing me from top
tu toe, as if he had a sort of hankerin arter some human arnimal, but
didn't think me jest good enough tu eat hull without considerable sarse.
"How do you du," sez I, as mealy as a pink eyed potater jest out o' the
pot--"How are all the folks this mornin?--purty smart I reckon."
The coot stared and kinder shook the two great swads o' curly hair that
stuck out over each side of his head; and arter lookin back intu the
house, then up the street, and then agin at me, sez he, "What du you
want?" sez he.
"Wal," sez I, a divin both hands down to where my pockets ought to
a'been, but eenamost keelin head over heels with the dive I gin without
finding bottom--"I seem tu surmise that I want tu see some body a trifle
more like folks than you seem tu be--so I guess I'll walk in."
With that I gin the chap a shove with one of my mudgrapplers, and walked
right intu the long entry-way, as crank as a militia trainer with his
regimentals on.
"What's your name and who do you want?" sez the yaller nigger kinder
wrothy, and a shakin that swad o' curly hair at me like a darned great
sun flower in a foggy storm.
"Wal," sez I, "you ought tu go Down East and learn to ask questions. If
your tongue was only half as greasy as your face now, you could a done
it as slick agin. I aint got no name tu speak on, and all I want o' you
is jest tu tell the harnsome critter that lives here, that I'm on hand,
a waitin down here as spry as a cricket, and about as arnest tu see her
agin as ever a chap was."
The chap he kinder eyed me askew. Fust he took a squint at my puffy
trousers, then at old bell crown, and then at me all over.
"You can't be the gentleman that she told me to let in," sez he; "does
Miss Sneers expect you?"
"Wal, I kinder reckon she does," sez I.
"Wal," sez the feller, lookin sort o' unsartain, "jest step intu this
room and I'll go and see."
"That's a leetle more like folks," sez I, a followin the chap intu a
room at one eend of the entry-way, where I sot down with old bell crown
over my knees, and took a squint round. It was kinder dark, for them
between slats shut out the light; but I could see that the room hadn't
been fixed up since over night. Two of the chairs lay keeled up on the
carpet--the kiver was a slidin off from the table a'most tu the carpet,
and slopped over with wine that wasn't dry yit--a decanter with a trifle
o' wine, or per'aps brandy, stood on the table where the cloth had left
it bare, and an allfired purty wine glass lay on the harnsome carpet
broke to smash; and round under the table and close around my chair was
a hull squad of playin cards, a'most new, as if somebody had got beat a
playin high-low-jack and the game, and flung the hull bilin down in a
huff. I'd jest picked up two or three of the cards, when the yaller
nigger turned back and sez he--
"It aint of no use--I can't tell my mistress who wants tu see her, if
you wont give me your name, or a card."
"Wal," sez I, "if you must have one or t'other, there's a card--now git
out, and don't let me see that consarned yaller face agin till it's
wanted."
With that I handed over the jack-o'-spades; he turned his great sarser
eyes, fust on the leetle feller that sot stuck up on the card, and
then agin at me, as if he didn't know what tu make on't. There was no
satisfy in him, I could see that, but I'd begun to get tired o' waitin,
and sez I,
"Wal, there's the card, and a harnsome one tu--my name is Jonathan Slick
of Weathersfield--my father is a Squire and a Deacon of the Church--my
mother was Jerusha Pettebone--my ---- but darn me, if you aint satisfied
now, you consarned pryin shote, you may go tu grass, and the harnsome
gal with you."
The feller cut stick afore I'd half done, and cum back a bowin and a
scrapin, as if he'd got a set of new jints while he was a goin up
stairs.
"My mistress wants tu know if you're the gentleman that she saw at the
theatre last night."
"Jest so," sez I, a flingin down the ten spot o' clubs and the ace o'
diamonds, for somehow I jest didn't like the touch of the
varmints--"jest so!"
"Walk up stairs," sez he, a bowin eenamost tu the ground.
"Wal, I don't care if I du," sez I, follerin the chap.
I took off old bell crown and riled up my curls with a leetle flourish
o' fingers amongst the thickest on 'em, as I went up stairs--then I
kinder shook up the pletes of my trousers, and pulled out the eend of my
yaller hankercher, as I went along behind the buff colored nigger.
I swan tu man, Par, it was like walkin through a footpath kivered over
with meadow grass and wild posies, as I went up the stairs, all carpeted
off and a shinin with bars of gold. Jest at the top stood a black
figger, a'most as large as life and all but naked, a holdin one finger
tu his lips and with a lamp in t'other hand, that seemed as if it had
burnt itself out, for there wasn't any ile in it, and the wick was sooty
as a nigger's eye lashes.
Wal, I follered on intu another entry-way, where another figger stood,
as white as if it had been cut out of a fust rate cheese curd. It had
one foot up, as if it was a darncin, one arm was flung over its own
head, and both its pesky leetle hands was chuck full of posies, that
looked as if they'd been planted in a snow bank and watered with new
milk, afore that harnsome half dressed, indecent figger had found 'em.
She looked like a ginuine purty gal froze tu death for the want of
kiverin.
Wal, while I was a lookin at the poor critter, that yaller nigger he
opened the door and stood a flurishin his hand about, jest as our
minister does when he dismisses meetin, and is tu allfired lazy tu use
both hands tu once.
I went by the varmint and there I stood stock still in the door way a
starin about like a stuck calf. I swan, Par, I never sot eyes on any
thing that could shake a stick at that are room in my born days. The
floor was all spread off with a carpet, like a meadow that slants tu the
fust spring sun when the grass is a springin up, and sot off thick with
dandelions, buttercups and clovertops; and I swan tu man, there was
something in the room that smelt just about as sweet.
The room wasn't over large, and a whoppin winder eenamost took up one
eend on't. Yet it was kinder dark for all that, for a hull harvest of
shiny silk, as thin as a locust's wing, and sort a rosy colored, like a
gal's cheek jest arter a chap has kissed it--was kinder tumblin down the
winder in winrows turned lengthwise, one arter t'other, till the hull
was grabbed up in one alfired swad, and ketched back in a great hook all
of solid gold, that glistened like a lookin-glass frame when the fire
light ketches it fair.
There wasn't but two chairs in the room, and they seemed tu be made out
o' solid gold tu, stuffed down with shining silk figered off with posies
redder than the winder silk, and yet kinder like it. There was a bench
agin the winder, standin on chunks o' gold cut out like a lion's paw,
and that tu was all cushioned off with shiny silk like the chairs, and
on the back on it, right agin the wall, two pillars were stuck up, all
kivered over with posies that looked good enough tu smell on. Right agin
the door was the harnsomest consarn that I ever sot eyes on. It was a
kind of a round table cut in tew in the middle, dressed up in white and
ruffled off with harnsome lace, like a gal when she means tu cut a dash.
A lookin glass stood on it sot in a gold frame work, curlecued off like
a great vine, with the golden grapes a bustin out all over it, and sort
a droppin down over the glass. I snum, if it wasn't a sight tu behold!
There was a finefied gold watch about as big as a ninepence, a lyin on
the table, and some leetle red morocco boxes, with a newfangled pitcher
pictured off tu kill, chuck full of ginuine roses and green leaves, that
looked as if they'd that minit cum off from the bushes.
There was one thing more a standin up in the corner that beat all I ever
did see. It was an allfired overgrown candlestick a standin on legs, and
eenamost as tall as I be. That tu, seemed to be of solid gold, curlecued
off with little picters. On the top was a great golden sarser, and what
chawed me up was a stream o' smoke that ris from the sarser, and kinder
spread all over the room, jest enough to let a chap know that there was
a fire somewhere about. Jest behind the whoppin candlestick was the
figger of a critter, sort o' half bird and t'other half baby, the
cunninest varmint that I ever did see. The wings grew out of his chubby
shoulders, and the pesky little scamp seemed tu be a larfin at me
through the smoke all the while that he made believe that he was a
droppin somethin down intu the gold sarser. The critter was as white as
a tomb stun; but if it hadn't kept still, I should eenamost thought it
was alive. There I stood bendin for'ard, with my mouth kinder opened and
old bell crown between both hands, a lookin at that little varmint, and
there he was a'most winken at me, when somebody said,--
"Walk in Mr. Slick,--pray walk in!"
I gin a jump and dropped old bell crown, for it seemed tu me as if the
flyin baby had spoke; but in stoopin tu pick up old bell crown agin, I
kinder turned round; and there, on a bench cushioned off with silk, like
the one I've told you on, sot the gal I'd seen at the theatre last
night; but oh, get out! more than as harnsome agin. She was all dressed
out in a white gown, that hung kinder slimsy from that purty neck, till
it eenajest kivered the pesky leetle feet that lay on a footstool like
two black squirrels asleep together. The cloth that her dress was made
on, was so thin that I could a seen her arms through clean tu the wrist,
if the sleeves hadn't been made so full, that every time she moved the
hull arm got more than half unkivered. I swan, it made me ketch my
breath, when she kinder half ris and reached out that are soft hand, a
smilin all the time as if she was tickled eenajest tu death tu see me.
I gin her hand a leetle mechin shake, and turned round tu set down in
one of the chairs, for I couldn't help but feel a trifle streaked
amongst all that heap o' silk and gold. But before I was quite sot down
she settled back aginst the pillar, and whilst she let one foot drop
from the stool, she fixed t'other pillar agin the wall; and while she
was a pattin the posies on it with her hand, she lifted them tarnal
black eyes and gin me a smile that had more than the sweetness of a hull
bilin of sugar in it; and there she sot with that hand kinder stuck
intu the pillar yet.
Now, Par, you don't think I was shote enough tu set down in the big
chair arter that, do you? I guess I wheeled round, about the quickest,
and sot down so close by that harnsome critter, that I could feel her
breath on my hair; and yit, I sot as fur off as I could, and close on
the edge of the bench, but it was orfal short, and I had tu set close
any how; but oh gauly, didn't my fingers tingle. There was that leetle
hand, as soft and white as a snowball, a lyin among the posies worked on
that pillar right behind me, and I hadn't but jest tu lean back, and
that are arm would a been a'most round me. But there I sot, close on the
edge, all in a flusterfication, fust a lookin at that are hand, then at
her smilin face, and then agin at old bell crown, and so over agin.
Arter I'd sot about a minit, I hitched back a trifle, and gin a kind
o'skeery squint at her--she was eenajest larfin. With that, I gin
another hitch, and looked right straight at old bell crown, as if I
wanted tu eat it. The harnsome critter didn't seem tu rile up any, so I
jest dropped bell crown, dived tu pick it up agin, and riz right up
parpendicler agin the pillar. I could feel the leetle hand a movin on
the pillar agin my back, like a chip squirrel in its nest; but think
says I, you'r ketched this time, any how, and I guess you may as well
lie still. With that, I turned my head sort of a slow, and larfed a
leetle, jest enough tu show my teeth round the edges, and sez I,
"How do you du marm?"
Did you ever see a spring begin tu gurgle and shine up all tu once, when
you've parted the peppermint that grows over it, and let in the broad
daylight on the water? If you have, per'aps you have some idea how
consarned harnsome the smile was that cum bustin all over that gal's
face, a dimpling up them pesky red lips, and a dancin through them great
black eyes. I could see the tantelizen critter a bitin them plump lips
of hern, to keep from snickerin out in my face; so I put on a leetle
extra grin myself, for I'm a hull team at larfin, and a hoss tu let,
when I once begin. By-am-by, sez she, as well as she could git it out,
sez she--
"I hope you enjoy yourself in town, Mr. Slick."
"I reckon I du jest now," sez I, "quite a considerable deal, and
upwards."
With that she sort a smiled agin, and somehow that other leetle hand in
her lap kinder crept along under the loose slimsey sleeve, as if it
wanted tu get better acquainted with mine. My mudgrappler didn't object
tu be introduced.
"It's orful pleasant weather, for time o'year," sez I, and my hand
kinder crept along towards hern a mite.
"Very," sez she, a looking at the tall candlestick as soft as summer
butter; "very."
"I also kinder like tu go into the woods in the fall, and see the trees
a turnin all sorts o' colors, red and blue and yaller; and see the
chesnuts, jest ripe enough tu drop from there prickly shucks, and hear
the but'nuts a ratlin down tu the dry leaves. Oh, gauly! I wish you and
I was there now, if it was ony jest tu watch the chip-munks and gray
squirrels a carrying off the nuts in their mouths and fore paws. Did you
ever see a harnsome black squirrel, with a shagbark between his
whiskers, a hoppin among the trees, arter they're stript more'rn half
naked by the frost?"
Then my fingers begun to travel agin like anything.
"Yes," sez she, "I love a pet squirrel dearly."
By this time my hand had got tu the eend of its journey and put up.
"Harnsome critters, aint they," sez I, a'most out o'breath, I was so
skeared. "Captin Doolittle has got a rale sneezer down at the vessel, as
black as git out, his tail curls up over his side like the feather in a
gal's bonnet, and he's got an eye as bright and sharp as if it had been
cut out o' yourn. I'll hook it from the old coot, cage and all, and
bring it up tu you, if you've a notion tu it, consarn me if I don't."
"You're very kind," sez she.
"Oh, you git out!" sez I; "that aint a primin tu what I mean tu du, if
you and I can only agree tu draw in the same tacklin. I aint mean as
some chaps that I know on--nobody ever ketched me a halving a long nine,
or askin a gal tu pay her own shot when she went a slayin with me--ask
Captin Doolittle, if you don't believe _me_."
The critter looked up and kinder smiled agin so darned winnin, that I
histed her hand tu my lips, and gin it a nibble afore I knew what I was
about. She seemed tu try tu pull it away, and turned her head so that I
couldn't see her face.
"You aint mad nor nothin?" sez I, a lettin go her hand. "I swan tu man,
you looked so darned sweet I couldn't help it."
She got up and went tu the table that was dressed off so, and smelt of
the posies on it, and then she cum back agin and sot down as good
natured as a pussey cat; but she'd put me in such a tantrum, for fear
I'd made her mad, that I didn't know what tu say next; so there I sot, a
feelin streakeder and streakeder every minit; but arter a while I bust
out agin--
"Speakin of the woods," sez I, "aint the maple trees harnsome? Did you
ever see the leaves when they're jest a turnin red, a kinder tremblin on
the limbs, as if every one on 'em was kinder afraid of fallin off? I've
seen 'em over night as green as some of these country chaps when they
fust come tu York; and then agin in the mornin, as red as your lips; and
a'most as bright when the sun shines on 'em."
I could see them lips begin to pucker up agin, as if they wanted to give
me a chance of judgin. So I kept on--
"I swan," sez I, "sometimes it seems to me as if the sugar had stuck up
through the leaves and turned 'em red, they look so pesky sweet. Speakin
o' that, du you love maple sugar?"
"Very much," sez she.
"Wal," sez I, "next time I cum I'll bring you an allfired hunk, see if I
don't."
Jest then, the chap that I'd seen at the theatre with her the night
afore, opened the door and cum straight in. I eenamost jumped on eend
and dropped her hand, that some how or other had got intu mine agin, as
if it had been a hot chesnut.
But the chap only looked around, and made a sort of a slidin bow, and
shet the door agin.
"Wal," sez I, all in a twitter, for my heart had riz right up intu my
mouth; "I guess I'll be goin."
"So soon?" sez she, a liftin them eyes sort o' mournful.
I wilted right down agin, like a cabbage plant in the sun.
"And who may that chap be," sez I, for I begun tu feel ugly about the
heart.
"Oh, he's only my brother," sez she, "never mind him. Are you fond of
music, Mr. Slick?"
"I guess I be," sez I. "When the chorister is gone, I al'ers lead the
singin at meetin tu hum."
"Have you ever heard Castellan?" sez she.
"No," sez I, "I don't know as ever I've heard that instrument, but I'm
great on the bas-viol, and could beat all natur on the toot horn when I
was a leetle shaver, not more than knee high to a toad."
Consarn the critter, I couldn't speak but what that pesky mouth of hern
would brighten and pucker up.
"Would you like to go with me and hear her this evening?" sez she. "We
shall hear some fine music."
"If you'll only talk tu me there can't be a doubt on it," sez I, a
bowin.
"Then you will go?" sez she.
"I reckon I will," sez I, "twice over if you want me tu, and tickled to
death with the chance."
"Wal," sez she, "I'll be ready at half past seven."
"You'll find me on hand," sez I; "and now I guess I must be a goin."
With that I took up old bell crown, and arter makin a prime bow, was a
goin out; but I happened tu think what a coot I'd been, and turned back.
"I swan," sez I, "I'd a'most forgot tu ask what you wanted tu see me
for."
I snum, it seemed as if the maple leaves I'd been a talking of had been
flung, a hull swad on 'em into her face, she turned so red; but afore
she could speak I heard that chap a comin agin; so I made her a low bow,
but sudden, like a jack-knife opened and shet in a hurry, and I cut for
the sloop agin.
Your dutiful son,
JONATHAN SLICK.
* * * * *
LETTER XXX.
The Gambling House--Jonathan is taken in with Cards.
DEAR PAR:
I've tried to write tu you agin and agin since my t'other letter, but I
felt so dreadful bad, there was no makin it out, all I could du. I've
been dreadful sick, and about the darndest melancholy critter that ever
sot up an eend in bed.
I own it eenamost kills me to begin, but the truth will out some time or
other; and a feller that aint ashamed to du wrong, must be a snakin
shote if he can't pick up courage tu own up tu the truth, like a man.
It's a tough job, though, to own that you've been made a darn'd coot,
and a leetle wus than that--but all I've got to du is to grin and bear
it. I was a tellin you that Miss Sneers gin me an invite to supper. I
slicked up and went, nigh about dark, a feelin sort a streaked, I
couldn't tell why, and a thinkin of Judy White all the way; that pesky
harnsome critter had riled up my feelins so desperately that I raly
hadn't known which eend my head was on--but, somehow, as I went along,
Judy seemed close by me, with her hand on my arm, kinder holdin me back;
and once I was eenamost tempted tu turn back, and never think o' this
York gal agin on arth. I swow, I raly believe the tears stood in my eyes
when I went up the steps--for I couldn't keep from thinkin of hum all I
could du, and it seemed jest as if you and marm were a holdin family
prayers, and all for my sake, jest then. I do believe, Par, that the
spirits of live folks that love you are as likely agin to haunt a feller
when he's in danger as them of dead people. Wal, I rung the door-bell
kinder loth, for I hadn't felt very chipper all day, and, somehow,
thinkin of hum and sich things gin me a kind of timersome feelin. The
buff nigger was on hand in no time. He swung open the door, and stood a
bowin and a shakin that etarnal swad of hair till I got clear into the
entry-way. I was a goin right up stairs, but the nigger he opened a
side door, and says he, "walk in."