IN the baptisms of infants there are certain customs in the world
of good society, independent of the religious ceremonies. A few
hints will suffice, as each sect has its own peculiar forms known
to the members of that church; we do not profess to guide these,
but merely the worldly observances.
It is not customary to invite mere acquaintances to be godfather
or godmother to an infant; these should be tried friends of long
standing, or better still, near relations, to whom the obligations
thus imposed will be pleasures and not tasks.
Never invite any friends to be godfather or godmother, who are not
of the same church as the child to be baptized.
When you are invited to stand godfather or godmother to an infant,
never refuse without grave cause, and then do so immediately, that
the parents may have time to make other arrangements.
It is unkind, as well as impolite, to refuse to act in this
capacity towards children who, from poverty or other reasons, may
occupy an inferior position in society to your own.
It is customary to allow the godmother to select herself the
godfather.
It is, however, customary for the maternal grandmother and the
paternal grandfather to act as sponsors for the first child; the
paternal grandmother and the maternal grandfather as sponsors for
the second child. If the grand-parents are not living, the nearest
relatives of the same church should be invited.
It is customary for the sponsors to make the babe a present. If it
is a little boy, the godfather gives a silver cup, with the full
name engraved upon it, and the godmother some pretty piece of
silver, jewelry, or dress. If a little girl, it is the godmother
who gives the cup, and the godfather the other gift. Where the
sponsors are wealthy, it is not unusual to fill the christening-
cup with gold pieces. The godmother often adds to her gift the
christening robe and cap, both trimmed with white ribbons--for a
babe should wear only pure white when presented for baptism.
It is contrary to etiquette to invite young persons to stand as
sponsors for an infant.
In the Roman Catholic church, it is customary to baptize an infant
as soon as possible. If the child is very delicate, it is
customary to send at once for the priest, and have the ceremony
per formed in the bed-room; but if the babe is healthy and likely
to live, it is usually taken to the church for baptism, as young
as the physician will permit.
In entering the church, the nurse, carrying the child, goes first;
then follow the sponsors, who do not walk arm-in-arm; then the
father, and after him the invited guests.
When the ceremony commences, the sponsors stand on each side of
the child, the godfather on the right, and the godmother on the
left.
The babe should be held lying in the arms of the nurse, its head
upon the right arm. The cap should be tied so as to be easily
unfastened and removed.
When the priest asks who are the sponsors of the child, it is
sufficient for them to incline the head, without speaking.
Baptism is a gratuitous ceremony in the church, but it is
customary for the father to present some token to the officiating
clergyman, in the name of the babe, or, where parents are wealthy,
to make a handsome donation to the poor of the parish, through the
clergyman.
In the Protestant churches, it is customary to defer the baptism
until the mother of the child can be present.
It is always desirable to have the ceremony performed in the
church, if possible; but if there is a necessity for it, such as
the illness of the child or the parents, it can take place in the
house of the parents, by their special request.
No one should ever offer to act as sponsor for a child. It is the
privilege of the parents to make the selection amongst their
relatives or friends.
If the ceremony is performed at the house of the parents, a
carriage must be sent to the house of the clergyman to convey him
to the house of the parents, and wait until after the ceremony, to
convey him home again. It is extremely rude to expect a clergyman
to provide his own conveyance, or to walk.
Friends invited to a christening usually carry some gift to the
babe; gentlemen a gift of silver, and ladies some pretty piece of
needlework.
If the ceremony is performed in the house of the parents, or if
the guests return there from the church, the only refreshments
required by etiquette are cake and wine.
The father of the child usually gives a present of money to the
nurse who carries the babe to the church.
It is not etiquette to remain long at a christening; and it is
better taste for the infant to be removed to the nursery as soon
as the ceremony is over. To keep a weary mother sitting up
entertaining guests, or a cross, tired child on exhibition, are
either of them in bad taste.
For a guest to show any annoyance if a child cries loudly, or is
in any way troublesome, is the height of rudeness. Remarks or even
frowns are forbidden entirely, even if the infant screams so as to
make the voice of the clergyman entirely inaudible.
Etiquette requires that the babe be praised if it is shown to the
guests, even if it is a little monster of pink ugliness. Ladies,
especially mothers, will _see_ something beautiful, if only its
helpless innocence, and gentlemen must behold infantile graces, if
they cannot actually behold them. "Mother's darling" must be the
great attraction at a christening, if it only improves the
occasion by a succession of yells.