THE rule of the road, both in riding and driving, is always to
"Keep to the right, as the law directs."
In inviting a lady to ride, if a gentleman cannot offer the use of
his own horses, or the lady does not name a horse to which she has
been accustomed, he must be careful to select one of proved
gentleness, and trained to the side-saddle and riding-skirt. It is
exceedingly dangerous to allow a lady to mount a horse which may
be entirely strange to a lady's hand or habit; and it is not well
to trust this important matter to a livery-stable keeper or
servant.
A gentleman must be punctual to the appointed time, as it is
disagreeable for a lady to sit waiting in-doors in a riding-habit.
The lady, too, must exercise strict punctuality, that the horses
may not become restive from long standing.
Arrived at the house of his fair companion, the gentleman must
carefully examine the entire furniture of her horse. He must test
the firmness of the saddle and girths, examine well the stirrup
leather, guard against the danger of any buckle allowing a tongue
of leather to slip, see that the curb, bridle, headstall, and
reins are in perfect order; for the entire control of the horse is
lost if one of these breaks or slips. Leaving these matters to the
stable-men entirely is unsafe, as the constant handling of the
harness is apt to make them careless in fastening and testing it.
It is the duty of the gentleman to see the lady comfortably seated
in the saddle before he mounts himself. Having first asked
permission, he leads her to the horse. A groom should not be
allowed to render any assistance, if a gentleman is present,
except ing to hold the horse's head. The lady stands, with her
skirt gathered in her left hand, on the near side of the horse,
her right hand on the pommel of the saddle, and her face turned
towards the horse's head, The gentleman should stand at the
horse's shoulder, facing the lady, and stoop so that her left foot
may rest in his hand. When the lady makes a spring, the gentleman
should, with gentle firmness, steadily and promptly help her foot
up; and when she is in the saddle, he should put her foot in the
stirrup, and smooth her skirt. It requires some practice to
properly assist a lady into the saddle. If the hand is not
perfectly steady, it is very unpleasant, and any jerking motion is
not only disagreeable, but positively dangerous.
After the lady is in the saddle, her escort should stand beside
her until she has arranged her skirt, got a firm foothold in the
stirrup, and has her reins and whip in order. He may then mount
his own horse, and take his position on the lady's right.
In riding with two ladies, if both are good horsewomen, the
gentleman should ride to the right of both; but if they are
inexperienced, it is better for him to ride between them, to be
ready to assist them if necessary.
A lady must always give the pace.
A gentleman must never touch a lady's horse unless she actually
requires his aid; but he should be very watchful and ready for the
most prompt attention if it is needed.
If a gentleman on horseback meet a lady who is walking, and stops
to speak to her, he must dismount until she bows and leaves him.
A gentleman must go forward whenever a gate is to be opened or an
obstruction to be removed, and clear the way for the lady; he must
leap first when there is a fence or ditch to be crossed; he must
pay all tolls; must first test any dangerous-looking place, and
must try to select the most desirable roads.
In dismounting, a gentleman must offer a lady his right hand,
taking her left, and using his own left as a step for her foot,
declining it gently as soon as she rises from the saddle, and
before she springs. To spring from the saddle is not only awkward,
but dangerous, and will often confuse a gentleman who is
accustomed only to the proper mode of assisting the ladies to whom
he offers his services as escort.
No gentlemen will force a lady to ride faster than, she may find
agreeable, by an endeavor to display his own horsemanship.
A gentleman must be careful to protect his lady companion from the
dust and mud, as far as possible; and if there is a choice of side
for shade, he may, with propriety, ride upon her left, or fall a
little behind her, to allow her to take advantage of it.
In riding with an elderly gentlemen, a younger man should extend
all the courtesies of the road, the shady side, the choice of
speed, the choice also of direction, and, if there be a
difference, the best horse.
In a carriage, where a coachman is outside, the seat on the right
hand, facing the horses, is the seat of honor, and should be given
to a lady, an elderly gentleman, or the guest.
In entering a carriage, be careful that your back is towards the
scat you wish to occupy.
The seat facing the horses is always left by gentleman for ladies.
If a lady and gentleman alone enter a carriage together, the
gentleman must take the seat opposite to the lady, unless she
invites him to sit beside her.
A gentleman be should careful, in entering a carriage, not to
trample upon ladies' dresses, shut their shawls in the door, or
commit any other gaucheries. It is quite an art to enter or leave
a carriage gracefully.
In quitting a carriage, a gentleman must go first, even though he
may have to trouble the ladies by stepping across the carriage,
and he should then help the ladies to alight, taking care not to
allow the wheel to soil their dresses. If there be a man-servant
with the carriage, a gentleman will allow him to lower the steps,
and hold the door open; but he must on no account allow him to
help the ladies out while he himself stands by.
A gentleman will always convey the orders of the ladies to the
coachman.
If the carriage is driven by the gentleman himself, there are many
little points of etiquette which demand attention.
When a gentleman is about to take a lady, an older gentleman, or a
guest to drive, he must drive as close as possible to the mounting
block or curb, head his horse towards the middle of the road, and
back his buggy or wagon slightly, separating the fore and hind
wheels as much as possible. This is especially necessary when a
lady is to ascend to the wagon, as it gives space for her dress to
avoid the contact of the wheels, and allows room for the driver to
tuck her dress in after she is seated. It is best to have always a
carriage-blanket to cover entirely the skirt of a lady's dress,
that the mud of the road may not splash it.
When there is a post, it is always safest to hitch the horse
securely, and give both hands to the lady's service. Never allow
the horse to stand without some hold upon him; if there is no
post, the reins must be held firmly in one hand, while the other
assists the lady.
No gentleman will _show off_ his driving, if he finds his
companion timid. He will adopt the pace most agreeable to her,
even if it condemns him to a funeral slowness.
It is courtesy for the owner of a wagon, when driving a gentleman
friend, to offer him the reins, but the offer should never be
accepted. If, when driving a long distance, with a hard-mouthed
horse, the companion can really relieve a tired driver, it is then
both courteous and kind to offer to take the reins for a time; but
it is not etiquette so to offer under any other circumstances.
If you offer a seat in a private carriage to any friends you may
meet whilst abroad, you must accompany them to their destination,
no matter how far it may be out of your own way.
For a gentleman, when driving with a lady, to put his arm across
the back of the seat, around her, is a piece of impertinence which
any well-bred lady will very justly resent.
If offered a seat in the carriage of a gentleman friend, you
should motion him to be seated first; but if he stands aside for
you, bow, and precede him.
After assisting a lady to her seat, be certain that her parasol,
shawl, and fan are all conveniently placed for her use before you
take your own seat. Allow her all the space you can, and be
especially careful that the motion of your arms does not incommode
her.
If a lady wishes to leave a carriage, and the gentleman remains in
it to wait her return, he must alight to assist her out, and also
when she enters it again, even if he resumes his seat during her
absence.
It is a graceful act to leave a carriage in the proper manner. In
England, young ladies are instructed in the manner of entering and
leaving a carriage. M. Mercy D'Argenteau, an ambassador of the
last century, tells an anecdote illustrative of the importance of
this. He says: "The Princess of Hesse-Darmstadt having been
desired by the Empress of Austria to bring her three daughters to
court, in order that her Imperial Majesty might choose one of them
for a wife to one of her sons, drove up in her coach to the palace
gate.
"Scarcely had they entered the presence, when, before even
speaking to them, the Empress went up to the second daughter, and,
taking her by the hand, said: 'I choose this young lady.'
"The mother, astonished at the suddenness of her choice, inquired
what had actuated her.
"'I watched the young ladies get out of their carriage,' said the
Empress. 'Your eldest daughter stepped on her dress, and only
saved herself from falling by an awkward scramble; the youngest
jumped from the coach to the ground, without touching the steps;
the second, just lifting her dress in front, so as she descended
to show the point of her shoe, calmly stepped from the carriage to
the ground, neither hurriedly nor stiffly, but with grace and
dignity. She is fit to be an empress. Her eldest sister is too
awkward; her youngest, too wild.'"
Riding and driving are accomplishments in which it is very
desirable for all ladies and gentlemen to be proficient. To ride
well, one must be taught early, and have practice. Like swimming,
riding cannot be learned from theoretical teaching.
Lord Herbert, of Cherbury, says: "A good rider, on a good horse,
is as much above himself and others as the world can make him."