LETTERS of introduction should never be given, except to persons
well known to the person introducing them, and addressed to those
only who have a long-standing friendship for the writer. Amongst
persons but slightly acquainted, such letters are not only foolish
but positively dangerous, as you may thus give your countenance to
those who will take advantage of your carelessness to bring you
into mortifying, if not disgraceful positions.
Even amongst friends of long standing they should be given very
cautiously and sparingly, as it is a great responsibility to send
to your friend a visitor who may prove disagreeable, and you have
no right whatever to call upon comparative strangers to extend
hospitality or courtesy to your friends.
Letters of introduction should always be as short and concise as
possible. If you wish to send any information to your friends
about their visitor, send it in a separate letter by mail.
The utmost brevity is of importance in the letter of introduction,
as it is usually read in the presence of the party introduced, and
the pause must necessarily be awkward. You may in a letter of
introduction use a few words of warm, cordial feeling toward your
friend, but praise of any kind is in as bad taste as it would be
at a personal introduction.
This rule, however, does not apply to letters introducing
applicants for favor, office or position, which latter come more
strictly under the head of letters of recommendation than merely
letters of introduction.
Letters of introduction must be left unsealed invariably; they
should be folded and addressed like any other letter, but it is a
gross breach of etiquette to prevent the bearer from reading what
you may have said of him to your friend. It is optional with the
bearer to seal such letters before delivery, but it is customary
to leave them open.
A letter of introduction should not, unless circumstances make it
absolutely unavoidable, be delivered in person. It should be sent,
with the card of the person introduced, to the person to whom it
is addressed, by a servant. The person receiving it should then
call at once or send a written invitation to his house, and the
person introduced may then call in person. If, however, the stay
in the city is very short, these formalities must be omitted, and
the person introduced call in person, sending in his letter and
card by a servant.
Business letters of introduction should mention the errand and
business of the party introduced, and if your own acquaintance is
of recent date, mention by whom your were yourself introduced.
Letters introducing professional artists may contain a few words
expressive of the pleasure conferred by the talent or skill of the
person introduced.
Letters of introduction soliciting favors should be but seldom
given, and never unless the claims upon both parties interested
are very strong.
There is no rule of etiquette prescribing the exact amount of
attention required to be shown to the bearer of a letter of
introduction by the person to whom it is addressed.
A thousand circumstances of time, place, position, leisure and
disposition of the parties must control this, but as a rule, the
most generous hospitality and courtesy it is possible to give,
should be extended to your friend's friend. It is a compliment to
both the bearer and the writer of the letter. La Fontaine says: "A
letter of introduction is a draft at sight, and you must cash it."
It might be added, "You must cash it in full, never allowing the
courtesy exchange to be against the presenter of the draft."
Letters of introduction should bear upon the envelope the name and
address of the party introduced, written in the left hand corner--
thus:
JOHN JONES, ESQ.,
No. 714 --- Street,
Philadelphia.
Introducing L. F. Townsend, Esq., of Troy.
Letters of introduction to and from business men, for business
purposes, may be delivered by the bearers in person, and etiquette
does not require the receiver to entertain the person introduced
as the private friend of the writer. Good nature and native
courtesy would suggest some attentions, which could be increased
according to the pleasure conferred or received, but it is
entirely optional.
Letters of introduction are very useful to travellers, or those
about to change their place of residence; care, however, should be
especially taken in the latter case to present persons to each
other only, who will prove mutually agreeable, as it is surely no
friendly act to force upon your friends a life-long acquaintance,
perhaps with uncongenial persons.
A form is given for an ordinary letter of introduction, to be
varied according to circumstances, always bearing in mind that
brevity is essential, long acquaintance necessary, and some claim
on both parties important, before giving any letters of introduction
to your friends and acquaintances.
"New York, August 12, 1869.
"JAMES WILCOX, ESQ.,
"Dear Sir:--Allow me to introduce to you my friend, Mr. Loving,
who will make a brief visit to your city. Any attention you may be
able to show him, during his stay, will be appreciated as a favor
by,
"Yours sincerely,
"E. B. Lyons."
(To be directed) "JAMES WILCOX, ESQ.,
"No. 204 --- Street,
"Washington, D.C.
"Introducing F. G. Loving, Esq., of New York."
In receiving such a letter, bear in mind the courtesy extended is
really a compliment to the writer of the letter, and such
hospitality and courtesy as you extend you are entitled to claim
again for your own friends at some future time. If you are in a
position to do so, you should follow your first call by an
invitation to dinner, or to meet friends in the evening, and if
the new comer is a stranger in the city, select such friends to
meet him or her, as will prove agreeable and valuable
acquaintances. If your are a bachelor or boarding, and cannot
extend the hospitalities of a home, offer your services as guide
to points of interest in the city, places of public amusement, in
short, extend any courtesy your purse or leisure time will
warrant.
It is contrary to etiquette for the bearer of a letter of
introduction to visit too frequently the house to which he has
just been introduced. The fact that Mr. Smith is your only friend
in town, and has been cordial in his invitations to "make his
house your home," does not justify you in pulling too frequently
at Mr. Smith's door-bell, or presenting yourself at unseasonable
hours in Mrs. Smith's drawing-room.
In travelling abroad it is impossible to have too many letters of
introduction. They take up but little room in a trunk, but their
value when you find yourself "a stranger in a strange land,"
cannot be over-estimated.