_My rapid progress in Navigation.—Become a good Sailor in
Theory.—The Approach of a severe Winter somewhat damps my
Pleasure.—Begin to repent my Bargain.—Duty excessively
fatiguing, and Situation uncomfortable.—Advised to alter my
Course.—Appointed Captain’s Clerk, and find myself at home
to a Peg.—The Frigate ordered up the River Thames.—I visit
London.—Become enamoured of a fair Cyprian.—Desert my Ship on
her account._
In a few days, the frigate being completely equipped, was cast off from
alongside the Carolina, and all hands being on board, we dropped down to
the Nore, from whence we sailed for Yarmouth Roads, where the admiral of
the North Sea fleet was then lying; soon after which we put to sea, on a
cruise off the coast of Holland. I immediately applied myself assiduously
to the study of navigation, in which I was so successful, that I was
in a few weeks capable of keeping a dead reckoning. It was required of
the midshipmen to deliver in daily at noon, an account of the ship’s
course, distance, _&c._, performed in the last 24 hours. These different
calculations, deduced from the remarks on the log-board, were presented
to the captain, who, on a comparison of the whole, formed his opinion of
the several operators’ ingenuity, and praised or censured accordingly.
I had the satisfaction to find that my performances were generally
approved of, and gained me much applause from their correctness. This
success was probably owing to the advantages I possessed over most of
my companions, in point of education, improved by extensive practice in
figures, and to a closeness of application arising from my experience
in the world, of which they (whose acquirements were merely scholastic)
were incapable. I was remarked also for the neatness and perspicuity
with which I kept my log-book and journal, which I never suffered, like
many others, to be in arrears. I was not quite so happy in my efforts to
become a good practical sailor. I learnt indeed, with great facility,
the names and uses of every rope in the ship, and could apply to them
without hesitation on all occasions, and I had a correct idea of the
manœuvres necessary in tacking, wearing, reefing, _&c._, as far as theory
extended; but unhappily my constitution being naturally delicate, and my
nerves uncommonly weak, I found myself much embarrassed, when duty or
inclination prompted me to go aloft, on which occasions I was subject to
a giddiness in my head, which rendered my situation extremely perilous,
and though I endeavoured by perseverance to overcome this weakness, I
could never totally banish the timidity with which I was affected. On
this account, though I continued indefatigable in every other point of
my duty, I desisted, particularly in blowing weather, from ascending “the
high and giddy mast;” and I am firmly persuaded that it is only by going
to sea at a very tender age, that youth in general are rendered callous
to danger, and insensible of those fears, to which I was at all times
more or less subject. It is also probable that the various excesses in
which I had indulged since I first quitted my friends, had contributed
to impair a constitution naturally fragile, and to relax still more the
nervous system. Our first cruise produced no incident worth notice. We
maintained our station, when the weather would permit, off the Texel, and
were frequently so near the land, that we could distinguish and count the
Dutch fleet, lying at anchor in that harbour, from our mast-head: but
Mynheer was not disposed to put to sea, of which event we were ordered
to convey immediate intelligence to the admiral. The winter was now
approaching, and there was every appearance of its proving unusually
inclement. During this cruise, we lay-to for twenty-one successive days,
in a tremendous gale from the N. E., with only a storm jib, and fly-sail
set; and although we were in no immediate danger, having good sea-room,
and a tight ship, I found my ardour for a sea-faring life considerably
abated. I was obliged to turn out of a warm bed at 12 or 4 o’clock in
each night, to take my watch, the hardship of which duty was a severe
penance upon me. The excessive cold, added to loss of rest, produced a
drowsiness which rendered me incapable of resisting the inclination I
felt to sleep, whenever I could retire to a private spot unobserved;
which was generally in the long-boat, under a gun carriage, or some
such hiding place. I was, however, frequently discovered in my retreat,
by accident, or by the mischievous information of some watch-mate,
whose hardy frame was proof against fatigue. On those occasions the
lieutenant of the watch would order the rest of the midshipmen to throw
a horse-bucket of salt-water over me, which did not fail to awaken
me quickly: but on starting up, shivering and amazed, I could never
ascertain the perpetrators of this ablution, who having disappeared,
would come up to me, very gravely condoling on my misfortune, which they
stated to proceed from a grampus having blown over me from alongside.
This piece of sea wit, which I soon understood, produced a general laugh
at my expense; how ever I was as ready at other times to practise the
same exploit upon some other unlucky sleeper; and my chief consolation
was, that the farce always ended with the sufferer being ordered to take
off his wet clothes, and turn in to his hammock, which sometimes saved
two or three hours on deck. At other times, sleeping on our watch, or
other instances of remissness in duty, were not so slightly passed over;
we were sometimes sentenced to sit on the main-top-mast head, for two,
four, and sometimes eight hours; at other times to sit on the weather
cat-head, exposed to a cutting wind; and other similar punishments,
depending on the humour or severity of the officer of the watch. In
addition to the hardships and fatigues of duty, I began to find my
situation in the mess grow daily more irksome. I soon perceived that a
midshipman’s birth (or mess-room) is an epitome of the world at large,
the weaker party goes to the wall, and is subject to many insults and
impositions from those who are his superiors in seniority, strength, or
interest. There were also frequent instances of intrigue and treachery;
and as among so many persons there must be various dispositions, there
were not wanting envious and malicious minds, whose delight was in
fomenting mischief and detraction. Being naturally of a peaceable turn,
hating nothing so much as a life of dissension, and abhorring tyranny of
every description, I now wished myself emancipated from this state of
bondage, as to me it seemed; and I discovered, when too late, that “all
is not gold that glitters,” and that the situation of a midshipman (which
I had once considered the _summum bonum_ of honour and happiness) was
not, any more than others, wholly free from care and inquietude. However
I continued to weather the gale, as well as I could; and conscious
of the rectitude of my intentions, suffered patiently those little
mortifications I had not power to avert.
After a cruise of two months, we returned to port, when I had the
pleasure of hearing from my respected friends in S⸺shire. Our stay in
Yarmouth roads was short; we put to sea again in company with several
smaller vessels, of which our captain was commodore. A violent storm,
however, soon dispersed our little squadron, and we at length with much
difficulty gained the river Humber, from whence we returned to Yarmouth.
During this winter we were continually at sea, except for very short
intervals; and the oldest seaman in the ship declared they had never
known a more tempestuous season. Several fine frigates, sloops, brigs,
_&c._, were lost in the North Sea, and on the northern coasts of England.
My hardships, of course, rather increased than diminished, and I heartily
repented the step I had taken; not that I disliked the service, or the
mode of living on ship-board; but I found myself unequal to the duty of
watching, _&c._, and was also uncomfortably situated with respect to my
messmates, whose manners and ideas of enjoyment did not coincide with
mine. The notion of finding pleasure in books was ridiculed by them;
and I was sometimes told that I ought to have been a parson; but it was
agreed on all sides, that I was better adapted for a clerk than a sailor.
These hints and suggestions were not thrown away upon me; I felt the
force of their justice, and longed for an opportunity of ameliorating my
situation which at length, to my great joy, unexpectedly occurred.
The captain’s clerk I have before mentioned was, by the interest of
Captain Dacres, promoted to the rank of purser; and as soon as this
was known, my brother Mids unanimously advised me, in the sea phrase,
to “bear up” for a scribe; meaning to quit my present station, and
petition the captain to receive me as his clerk. I took this advice,
and was happy enough to succeed. As I had spent much of my time with my
predecessor, and took pleasure in observing his various public accompts,
in the execution of which I had often assisted him, I required but little
instruction to enable me to undertake this office.
I must not omit to notice here, a laughable incident, consequent on my
dereliction. The midshipmen in general, on the day of my appointment,
surrounded me in our cabin, and with great ceremony, proceeded to cut off
the _weekly accompts_[6] from the coat I had on; proclaiming, at the same
time, that I had now assumed a different character, and had no further
right to the honourable uniform of a Mid. I was obliged, therefore, to
have this appendage taken from every coat and jacket I possessed.
Behold me now once more in my own sphere! Though I had relinquished
the hope of ever becoming an admiral, yet here was another field for
promotion opened for me. After a service of two years, I might obtain
a purser’s warrant, which, though a less honourable station than the
former, is perhaps more lucrative, and certainly less exposed to danger.
I had now a commodious cabin to myself, in which I was free from
interruption, only frequenting the mess cabin at meal times, or when I
was inclined for company. I slept peaceably in my cot, while my former
companions were exposed to the wind and weather upon deck. As to the
duties of my office, they were merely a source of pleasing amusement to
me: I soon became expert in their performance; and my attention gained me
the esteem of both captain and purser.
It is needless to trouble the reader with a journal of the ship’s
proceedings, during the remainder of the time I continued in her; it may
suffice to state briefly, that we took many cruises in the North Sea,
in the course of which we visited the Orkney Isles, Leith Roads, the
River Humber, Osely Bay, Robin Hood’s Bay, Harwich Harbour, and other
anchorages on the coasts of England and Scotland, to which we were driven
by stress of weather, or other causes. In one of our cruises, we captured
a beautiful French lugger privateer, of fourteen guns, and fifty-eight
men, belonging to Dunkirk, after a chase of three hours, in a gale of
wind, in which we went at the rate of thirteen and a half knots per hour,
under a fore-sail and close reefed main top-sail only. During the ensuing
summer, being appointed to convoy above three hundred sail of merchantmen
to the Baltic Sea, we lay for several weeks at Elsineur, in Denmark;
at which place I went on shore, and had some pleasant rambles into the
adjacent country, visiting Copenhagen which is twenty miles distant. I
also viewed the interior of that ancient castle, celebrated by Shakspeare
in the tragedy of _Hamlet_, and many other local curiosities.
The following spring, the Astræa was ordered up the river Thames,
for the purpose of receiving on board two hundred thousand pounds in
specie, which she was to convey to Cuxhaven, for the use of the Hamburgh
merchants. We accordingly came to an anchor at Greenhithe, sixteen miles
from London; and while the ship was undergoing some little repairs, I
obtained leave of absence for three days, of which I availed myself to
visit London, with the view of having a short cruise in that region of
pleasure. As I had lately received both pay and prize-money, and had also
been economical of what my relations had occasionally remitted me, I was
well provided for the purpose.
On the first night of my arrival in town, I went, of course, to the play,
where I was struck with the appearance of a very interesting young
Cyprian, whom I immediately accosted, and after the performance, attended
to her apartments in Bury-Street, St. James’s. Here every thing was
upon the most elegant scale, and I was so well pleased with my quarters
as well as with the lady, that I did not stir tack or sheet (except on
short excursions of pleasure in which she accompanied me) until the
expiration of my liberty, and then it was with much reluctance, I could
tear myself from this fascinating fair one. I was the more charmed with
her, as she exhibited a generosity of mind, seldom met with in females
of her description: and though she might have extracted from me my last
shilling, yet she was so far from being mercenary, that my expenses,
considering the enjoyments I had experienced, were comparatively
trifling. I returned, then, to my ship in due time, but still the
thoughts of the lovely Miss K⸺e incessantly recurred, and prevented my
enjoying a moment’s peace. My anxiety was increased by receiving a most
affectionate letter from her, within three days, according to a promise
she had given me at parting, in which she earnestly requested my leave
to visit me on board prior to our sailing. To this I would not, however,
consent, but gave a sort of conditional promise, almost indeed amounting
to a positive one, that I would see her again in town.
About a week after my return from London, I resolved to pay a second
visit to my inamorata; but as we were now ready for sea, and expected the
specie on board every hour, it was in vain to solicit leave. I therefore
determined to go ashore early as if to spend the day, which the whole
of the petty officers were allowed to do in turn. My intention was to
go post to London, and after a day and a night’s pleasure, to return on
board early the next morning, as I could easily frame some excuse for
staying ashore all night.
From some secret presentiment, however, which I conceived at the moment
I was about to step in the jolly-boat, I hurried down to my chest, and
hastily filling a clothes-bag with linen, gave it to one of the boys,
as if to take to the washerwoman, and immediately quitted His Majesty’s
ship Astræa (as the event proved) never more to return. I procured a man
to carry my bag to Dartford, a post town three miles from Greenhithe,
and fifteen from London; from whence I took a chaise, and in less than
two hours found myself in the arms of my fair enslaver. In order to give
the reader leisure to reflect on the blindness of mankind to their own
welfare, and to revile me in particular, as I deserve, for this mad and
unjustifiable conduct, I shall put an end to this Chapter.