_Wife._ "Why do you always sit at the piano, David? You know you can't
play a note!"
_David._ "Neither can anyone else, while I am here!"]
[Illustration: _Hostess._ "Please don't leave off, Miss Jessop."
_Miss J._ "But shan't I bore you? It is possible to have too much of a
good thing, you know."
_Hostess._ "Yes; but that doesn't apply to _your_ playing!"]
[Illustration: WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR BOYS?--_Father._ "Now, Sir
William, I want Jack to go into business--his mother wants him to read
for the Bar. Jack's undecided. What do you advise?"
_Sir William Grubbe._ "You go into business, my boy. See what it's made
me!"
_Jack (emphatically)._ "Oh, Sir William, I've quite decided to take the
mater's advice."]