[Illustration: "A PAGE DRAWING"]
_New Maidservant (much pleased with herself)._ A gentleman called to
see you, sir, and said as he were just leavin' town for some time.
Knowin' as you didn't want to be disturbed this morning, I told him as
you was _h_out--
_Master._ Quite right. (_To himself_) Sharp girl this!
_New Maid (cheerfully)_--and told him as I didn't know when you'd be
back again. 'Is card's in the 'all, sir. He 'ave wrote somethin' on it.
[_She fetches it, returns, and presents it._
[Illustration: SNUBBING
_He._ "Sorry I forgot your party the other evening!"
_She._ "Oh, weren't you there?"]
_Master (reads writing on card, then suddenly springing up, exclaims)_
Oh--(_stops the escape of a very strong expletive_)--How long ago?
_New Maid (cheerfully)._ Oh, quite a _h_our. There was luggidge on the
cab.
_Master (subsiding hopelessly in chair, to Maid)._ You can go. (_Alone,
grinding his teeth._) Confound the idiot! (_Reads card muttering to
himself._) _Snooker Poole, Chork Cottage, Kew. "Called to repay coin
personally. Sorry to miss you. So long!_" I shall never see my hundred
and fifty again!... That's the worst of new servants!
[_He is left considering whether it would not be as
well to alter the form of his instructions to the
hand-maiden. Scene closes._
* * * * *
THE BOASTFULNESS OF BELINDA.--_Arabella (concluding the description of
the magnificence of her employer's home)._ And in the servants' 'all we
'as 'ot plovers' heggs ev'ry mornin' for brekfist.
_Belinda._ That's nothin'. At hour 'ouse hall the fires is laid with
reel sparrow-grass sticks instead of wood!
[_Arabella dries up._
[Illustration: _Inexperienced and anxious Young Mistress._ "The new
housemaid, Maria, is a Roman Catholic but I hope you will not allow any
religious controversy in the servants' hall."
_Cook (with much dignity)._ "You needn't have any fear, my lady. In
really 'igh class families religion is _never_ mentioned!"]