Ladies'-maids are the rarest articles of female domestic service, and
being in the nature of luxuries, are the best paid. They are to cooks
and housemaids what the pine-apple is to the _pomme de terre_, and
for this pine-like superiority of station many are doomed to pine in
vain. The statistics of female service give us a million maids as the
grand total, and deducting three-eighths for servants-of-all-work,
two-eighths for cooks, three-sixteenths for housemaids, and one-eighth
for nurses, we have a surplus of one-sixteenth for ladies'-maids, which
will be about a fair average.
Servants belonging to this superior class should be able to read and
write. It is a good practice in the former accomplishment to read all
the notes sent to your mistress, and the little motto wafers, now in
use, seem invented to facilitate this arrangement, for they never
adhere to the envelope.
[Illustration: BRIDGE BELOW STAIRS.--"Good gracious, James, whatever is
the meaning of this extraordinary hilarity in the kitchen?"
"Cook's just revoked for the third time, marm!"]
You will probably have the charge of your mistress's apartments. Never
suffer anything to lie about, and, therefore, you should pocket any
trifle that is left carelessly out of its place. I do not mean to
say you should become a thief, for, if found out, you would lose your
place, and your character, but you must take care of a thing till it is
missed, and when it is wanted, it will, of course be asked for. It is
then time enough for you to find it in some hole or corner, into which
it has of course got by accident. Your lady's dressing-box will be
under your care. See that the scent-bottles are always well supplied,
which you can only ascertain by taking a little out of them for your
own use very frequently.
You should endeavour at all times to save your mistress trouble by
acting for her as much as you can; and in order to do this effectually,
you should dress as much like her as possible. Order about other
servants just as she would herself, and talk to tradespeople exactly
as if they were being spoken to by your mistress, of whom you are the
representative. Of course the closer the representation you give of
her, the more exact are you in the performance of your duty.
[Illustration: "GRAND SLAM" IN THE STONE AGE.--It is, for obvious
reasons, undeniable that a great wave of "Progressive Bridge" passed
over the entire human race at a remote period. It is no use blinking
the fact that while it lasted it was responsible for a marked
"set-back" in the census returns.]
Some ladies'-maids are expected to mend their ladies' clothes; but no
lady, that is a lady, ought to wear any clothes that have been mended.
You should try and persuade her to be of the same opinion, by which you
will not only save yourself the trouble of mending, but you will come
in for many things much sooner than you could otherwise hope to do. The
author of the proverb, that "a stitch in time saves nine," no doubt
thought himself very clever; but if avoiding trouble is the object, it
stands to reason that though "a stitch in time saves nine," it must be
a greater saving still never to put a stitch in anything.
If your mistress will make you work at your needle, put a novel on your
lap, so that you may read and work at the same time. If you are asked
to cut out a body, make a bungling job of it, that you may not be asked
to do the same thing again. If you cut out anybody it should be the
lady's-maid next door, with which your ambition ought to be satisfied.
Taking out marks from linen is an essential part of the duties of a
lady's-maid. Some practise themselves in this art by taking out the
initials of their mistress and substituting their own; but this is a
dangerous experiment.
[Illustration: _Prof. Gimlet._ "Who is that pretty girl those men are
talking to?"
_Miss Bradawl._ "Oh, she's nobody; it's strange how some women attract
the men; now there's Miss Blinkins over there, such a nice clever girl,
and I haven't seen a man speak to her the whole evening."]
It is said in "Knight's Guide to Service" that "when for the first
time you stand behind your mistress's chair to brush her hair, you may
feel that you are placed in a situation of high trust." This, however,
depends upon circumstances; for if your mistress dyes her hair, it is a
great mark of her confidence to ask you to brush it. If she wears false
braids, she is, to a certain extent, in your power; for, as the poet
says--
"Should she upbraid,"
you might betray her; but if she is almost bald, and wears a wig, from
the moment of your being entrusted to stand behind her chair and brush
her hair, you may do what you please with her.
If, in the story of _Faustus_, _Margaret_ had worn a wig, and
_Mephistophiles_ had seen her but once without it, the power of the
fiend over her would have been irresistible.
[Illustration: A DIFFICULT TASK.--"Jack, dear, I do wish you would get
another photo taken."
"How often have I told you I will not?"
"But why not?" (_Then, thoughtfully, after a pause._) "Are you afraid
of being asked to look pleasant?"]
In your position of lady's-maid, many family secrets will perhaps come
to your knowledge. Do not talk of them to your fellow-servants, which
would, in fact, be destroying your own valuable monopoly. A servant
who knows a great deal of the family affairs cannot be cheaply parted
with. You will be secure in your place, and will therefore be in a
position to make the most of all its advantages.
The little work we have already alluded to says, that if the
lady's-maid is depressed in spirits, "she should open her mind to the
friend, whoever it may be, that got her the place." This friend is
usually the keeper of a servants' office, who would have enough to do
if she were made to bear the infliction of all the unbosomings of all
the discontented servants she may have found situations for. This mode
of easing your heart would involve the necessity of constantly running
out, besides the expense of an occasional omnibus.
[Illustration: UNHAPPILY EXPRESSED.--_She (who did not know they were
to meet)._ "Why, Mr. Brown, this is a pleasant surprise!"
_He (who did)._ "I can't altogether say that it is so to me, Miss
Jones!"]
Manners form an essential part of the qualities of a lady's-maid, and
making one's self agreeable is the best mannered thing one can possibly
accomplish. This is to be done by praise, for nothing is more agreeable
to a lady than flattery. However sensible your mistress may be, she is
sure to have a share of female vanity; and even if she knows herself to
be ugly altogether, she will fancy she has some redeeming feature. If
she squints, praise her complexion; if that is bad, tell her she has
beautiful eyes: if she has a dumpty figure, praise her face; and if her
countenance is as ugly as sin, tell her that her shape is exquisite.
Some people will tell you that sensible women don't like flattery;
but this you must not believe; for, however sensible they are, they
are pleased by it, particularly when it is administered with so much
art as to seem not intended for mere compliment. Very palpable praise
is insulting to the generality of ladies; but flattery can scarcely
be too gross for some few of them. You should study the character of
your mistress, that you may not run the risk of offending her by too
much praise, or hurting her by giving too little. Your mistress will
sometimes take a journey, and you will then have to pack her things for
her. The following directions for packing a lady's portmanteau may,
therefore, be of use to you:--Put the lighter dresses at the bottom,
for these will not be wanted while travelling; and artificial flowers,
wreaths, &c., may go along with them. Insert next a layer of dress
caps, and ram well down with heavy dresses, to keep the others in
their places. Throw in a sprinkling of shoes, and then add the rest
of the wardrobe; cramming-in the marking-ink and the desk at the top,
where they are easily got at if they are wanted. Thrust in scissors and
hairbrushes anywhere that you can find room for them. Get the footman
to cord the box, for it will be a good romp for you, as well as great
assistance.
By following these instructions, you will find that you have a
tolerably snug place of it.
[Illustration: _Belle of Balham (to professor, who has just played
Chopin's funeral march)._ "That's awfully jolly! Now play one of
Lohengrin's things!"]