On this subject much nonsense has been written. They are quite as
suitable (perhaps more so than otherwise) to the cottage as to the
castle. The cottage need not have a name spelt with a Celtic series
of dissonant consonants. A few hints may be advisable to the numerous
"Lady Helps" at present in the market.
A Lady may efficiently help the mistress of the household to snub
her husband, by adroitly echoing (and improving) the said mistress's
remarks of a personal character.
A Lady may help the Cook to produce an original dinner, by suggesting
fresh combinations, which will make the said Cook indignant, and even
furious.
A Lady may help the Butler effectually, by decanting the '45 port, and
shaking it a little first as you would Daffy's Elixir.
A Lady may help the visitors to the house by reading all the letters
that may chance to be thrown aside, and taking advantage of any private
intelligence they contain.
[Illustration: _Mistress._ "Oh, Gwendolen, whatever _have_ you done!"
_Gwendolen._ "It's all right, m'm. I 'aven't 'urt myself!"]
A Lady may help the master of the house by a flirtation in the
library, while the mistress is away on a round of visits.
A Lady may help the daughters to quiet talks in the Park with ambitious
Curates.
A Lady may possibly help the son and heir to--herself.
You see, there are ladies and ladies, as there are _fagots et fagots_,
and _Mr. Punch_ has his suspicions of the Lady Helps of the future.
* * * * *