(_An a propos Duologue_)
_She_ (_with resolution_). Charlie, I want to ask your pardon. I have
made a mistake.
_He._ Yes, dear; which of them?
_She._ You shall not put me out by sneering. Yes, I have made a mistake;
and when I make a mistake, I do not fail to acknowledge it.
_He._ Quite right, dear. Nothing like having a congenial occupation.
_She._ Charlie, we came back to town prematurely.
_He._ Yes, dear; we certainly curtailed our stay in Paris a little to
allow of your purchasing that pretty bonnet.
_She._ It cost a lot of money, Charlie.
_He._ It did, dear; but I did not grudge it, as you and the shop girl
said it was of the first mode and the greatest novelty in Paris.
_She._ Yes, Charlie; and I believed her.
_He._ Well, I am sure that the three or four days we cut off were well
worth it, to buy the bonnet.
_She._ How good, how noble of you to say so!
_He._ Not at all; I was really glad to get back to the club. And you
have your bonnet--a real genuine French bonnet! And the most Parisian
shape imaginable.
_She_ (_with an effort_). The shape is not Parisian.
_He._ Not Parisian! Where does it come from?
_She._ I see from a ticket in the lining it was made in the Edgware
Road.
[_Tears and curtain._
* * * * *
AT WINDSOR.--_American Traveller_ (_to Waiter at the "Blue Stag"_). Say,
is it true that you've got a real live ghost here?
_Waiter._ Yessir. Believed to be either Cardinal Garnet Wolseley, 'Erne
the 'Untsman, Queen Elizabeth, or the late King of the Belgiums.
_American Traveller._ Thanks. Send for the local reporter, if off duty
in any one capacity.
* * * * *
SUITABLE SPOTS.--_Ware-ham_--for abstainers from pork;
_Whits-table_--for facetious gourmets; _Wig-more_--for bald men;
_Wig-ton_--for perruquiers; _Winfarthing_--for small gamblers;
_Wo-burn_--for firemen.
* * * * *
[Illustration: NOSE IN EGITTO; OR, AUTOMOBILITY IN THE LAND OF THE
SPHINX.
"One touch of _Punch_ makes the whole world kin."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A QUESTION OF PROPORTION.--_Colonel Peppercorn_ (_who is
touring in France with a hired chauffeur and car, which has broken
down_). "Confound it all, you say it's nothing? Then why don't you
repair it?"
_Alphonse Legros._ "Mais, monsieur, pas possible, he break below! I
cannot arrive there! He is only quinze centimetres from ze ground; but
me--voila--I have one metre round ze chest!"]
* * * * *