* * * * *
[Illustration: GEOLOGY.--_Scientific Pedestrian._ "Do you find any
fossils here?"
_Excavator._ "Dunno what you calls 'vossuls.' We finds nowt here but
muck and 'ard work!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: MUSIC ON THE WATERS.--_Parker._ "Beg pardon, my lady, but
the band can't play the selection your ladyship asked for."
_Her Ladyship_ (_astonished_). "But it's in their programme!"
_Parker._ "Yes, my lady, but they can't play it till we get into still
water, and _then they'll try_!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE COMFORTER.--"I say, old man, I've just been down in
the saloon, and they give you the finest half-crown lunch I've ever
struck!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A MOOT POINT.--_Mrs. Brown_ (_on her honeymoon_). "Oh,
aren't you glad, darling, we have come this delightful tour, instead of
going to one of those stupid foreign places?"
[_Darling is not quite sure about it, as the hills are of terrible
frequency, and, naturally, he tows his bride up every one._
]
* * * * *
[Illustration: BAD HABITS GROW APACE.--_Traveller_ (_whose train is
due_). "Look here, I'm going to get out and walk. That brute will make
me miss my train!"
_Jarvey._ "Kape still, surr. For the love av' Moses, kape still. Sure
an' if the ould blayguard bates us, I'll niver get him up to the station
no more!"]
* * * * *