SCHOOL IN NEW YORK--DEATH OF HER PASTOR
DR. JOHN MASON--LAST NEWS OF HER SON.
MRS. GRAHAM, after a pleasant though tedious voyage, landed in
New York on the 8th day of September, 1789, where she and her family
were received with the greatest cordiality and confidence. The late
Rev. Dr. Rodgers and Rev. Dr. John Mason were especially kind to her.
She came eminently prepared to instruct her pupils in all the higher
branches of female education; and the favorable change effected by her
exertions was soon visible in the minds, manners, and accomplishments
of the young ladies committed to her care. She opened her school on
the 5th of October, 1789, with five scholars, and before the end of
the same month the number increased to fifty. She not only imparted
knowledge to her pupils, but also, by her conversation and example,
prepared their minds to receive it in such a manner as to apply it to
practical advantage. While she taught them to regard external
accomplishments as ornaments to the female character, she was careful
to recommend the practice of virtue as the highest accomplishment of
all, and to inculcate the principles of religion as the only solid
foundation for morality and virtue. The annual examinations of her
scholars were always well attended, and gave great satisfaction.
General Washington while at New York honored her with his patronage.
The venerable and amiable Bishop of the Episcopal church in the state
of New York, then the Rev. Dr. Benjamin Moore, was never once absent
from those examinations. She was sensible of his friendship, and
always spoke of him in terms of great esteem and respect.
She united in communion with the church under the pastoral care
of the Kev. Dr. Mason. This excellent man was her faithful friend and
wise counsellor. Under his ministry her two daughters, Joanna and
Isabella, joined the church in the year 1791. Her eldest daughter
Jessie, who had made a profession of religion in Scotland, was married
in July, 1790, to Mr. Hay Stevenson, merchant of New York, and she
became a member of the church under the care of Dr. Rodgers, where her
husband attended.
In the year 1791 her son, who had been left in Scotland to
complete his education, paid his mother a visit. Mrs. Graham,
considering herself as inadequate to the proper management of a son,
had at an early period of his life sent him to the care of a friend,
who had promised to pay due attention to his morals and education. The
boy had a warm affectionate heart, but possessed, at the same time, a
bold and fearless spirit. Such a disposition, under proper management,
might have been formed into a noble character; but he was neglected,
and left in a great measure to himself by his first preceptor.
For two years of his life he was under the care of Mr. Murray,
teacher of an academy at Abercorn. He was a man truly qualified for
his station. He instructed his pupils with zeal; led even their
amusements; and to an exemplary piety added the faithful counsel of
a friend. He loved, and was therefore beloved. Under his
superintendence John Graham improved rapidly, and gained the
affections of his teacher and companions. Happy for him had he
continued in such a suitable situation. He was removed to Edinburgh
to receive a more classical education. Being left there by his
mother and sisters, the impetuosity of his temper and a propensity
for a sea-faring life induced his friends to place him as an
apprentice in the merchant-service. He was shipwrecked on the coast
of Holland, and Mr. Gibson of Rotterdam, a friend of Mrs. Graham,
took him to his house, and enabled him to come to the United States.
He remained at New York for some months. His mother deemed it his
duty to return to Scotland to complete his time of service. He
evidently inclined to the profession of a sailor; she therefore
fitted him out handsomely, and he embarked for Greenock in the same
ship with Mr. John M. Mason, the only son of Dr. John Mason, who
went to attend the theological lectures at the Divinity Hall
in Edinburgh.
The following extract shows the anguish of Mrs. Graham's mind in
parting with her son, and how she cast him upon the covenant mercy of
her God, placing a blank, as to temporal things, in her Lord's hand,
but holding on with a fervent faith and hope to the promise of
spiritual life.
"NEW YORK, May 20, 1791.
"This day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart: he is
again launched on the ocean, God's ocean. The Lord saved him from
shipwreck, brought him to my home, and allowed me once more to indulge
the yearning of my heart over him. Short has been the time he has been
with me, and ill have I improved it: he is gone from my sight, and my
heart bursts with tumultuous grief. Lord, have mercy on the widow's
son--'the only son of his mother, and she a widow,'
"I ask nothing in all this world for him: I repeat my
petition--save his soul alive; give him salvation from sin. It is not
the danger of the seas that distresses me; it is not the hardships he
must undergo; it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this
world: it is because I cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in
him. I discern not the new birth nor its fruits, but every symptom of
captivity to Satan, the world, and self-will. This, O this is what
distresses me: and in connection with this, his being shut out from
ordinances, at a distance from Christians; and shut up with those who
forget God, profane his name, and break his Sabbaths.
"O Lord, many wonders hast thou shown me; thy ways of dealing
with me and mine have not been common; add this wonder to the rest:
call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord,
all things are possible with thee: glorify thy Son, and extend his
kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him
over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters
are they all. Thou art the God of consolation; only confirm to me thy
gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope in the day when thou
saidst to me, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them
alive.' Only let this life be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in
thy hand as to all temporal things. 'I wait for thy salvation.' Amen."
Three months afterwards she learned that a press-gang had boarded
the ship in which her son was, and although he was saved from their
grasp by a stratagem of the passengers, yet all his effects were taken
away from him. In the following reflections on this event, the anxious
mother shows that she would not withdraw the blank she had put into
her Redeemer's hands.
"NEW YORK, August 18, 1791.
"Thus far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice.
This night I have tidings, through a letter to Dr. Mason, that my
son has been seized by the press-gang. Through God's help, he
escaped; but all his assortment of necessaries that his sisters and
I made up with so much care, labor, and expense, they have carried
off, and he is once more left naked. Satan and a corrupt heart unite
in tempting me to complain. Dare I utter a word or harbor a
murmuring thought? Would I withdraw the blank I have put into the
Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? Have not
my own afflictions been my greatest blessings? Have not I asked for
my children their mother's portion? Has not God chiefly made use of
afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up to my
choice of this portion, as well as showing me that He is a
sufficient portion without any other? When matters have been at the
worst with me as to this world, my triumphs in God have been
highest, and prospects for eternity brightest.
"Has the Lord given me in some measure victory over the world? Do
its honors, riches, and gaudy splendor appear to me empty and vain,
and not worth an anxious thought? Does provision of food and raiment
by the way through this wilderness seem all that is necessary? and is
it my wish, as well as form of prayer, that the Lord may give that in
kind and degree which he sees fittest for me? And shall I covet that
for my child which I despise for myself? Alas, Lord, it is because he
feeds not on better things, and sometimes I fear he has no better
portion. Still, still foolish. Was it when I was full, or when in
want, that I returned to my heavenly Father? Do I desire, have I asked
and persisted in asking for my children, salvation from sin and self?
Do I anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of
submission and resignation to thy will--to enjoy God in all things,
and nothing without him? And shall I, dare I complain when I see the
Lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself,
and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since I first
tasted the blessedness of his chosen?
"Lord, I renew my blank. I afresh roll them all over upon thee. I
will try to look on, in the faith that all things shall work together
for good to their souls, and that I shall yet see the day, or if I see
it not, that it will come, when they shall bow at thy footstool, sink
into the open arms of thy mercy in Christ, melted down in holy,
humble, acquiescing, cordial submission to thy severest dealings with
them; when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths, and they shall
sing as I do now, It hath been very good for me that I have been
afflicted. I wait for thy salvation. Amen."
Again we mark her trust in God in the more common events of life,
and her gratitude in the reception of blessings from his hand.
"NEW YORK, September, 1791.
"Many have been my burdens of late; strangers laid upon me to
provide for, even when I thought I had not sufficient to give to all
their due and provide for my own family. But what is that to me? the
Lord increases business, lays more largely to hand, bears me and my
burdens, provides for me and strangers. Lord, it is all well: give
when thou wilt, and call for it again when and for what purpose thou
wilt; it is thine own. I am thine, and all that thou givest me is
thine; the world calls it mine, but I call it thine. If it be thy
will, lead me in a plain path, or if thou lead me by a way which I
know not, hold up my goings, so shall I be in peace and safety
still. Amen."
"NEW YORK, October 10, 1791.
"This day did the Lord's sent servant, in a solemn manner, take
us all to witness, and call in the witness of angels, that we had once
more avouched ourselves to be the Lord's, and that once more Christ
and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls. This same
day, for the second time, have my two daughters sat down at the
Redeemer's table among his professing people, and, I have reason to
think, given their hearty assent to his covenant.
"Glory, glory, glory, to the hearer of prayer. I have cast my
fatherless children on the Lord, and he has begun to make good my
confidence. _One thing_, one only thing have I asked for them,
leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld as consisting with
that: I seek for my four children and myself, first of all, _the
kingdom of God_.
"My God from day to day adds many other comforts, and strengthens
my hopes by promising appearances, that _the grain of mustard
seed_ is sown in the hearts of my three daughters. They have joined
themselves to the people of God, and I have reason to think the Lord
has ratified their surrender of themselves to him; he has made them
willing for the time, and he will hedge them in to the choice they
have made.
"Saturday, September, 1791, the Lord made me a grandmother,
assisted my poor weakly girl, and gave a son to her and my arms.
'There was joy that a man-child was born into the world,' and
according to that word 'she remembered no more the anguish.'
"Thanks be to God for this salvation; but, Lord, this is but a
small thing with thee. Look, O look on this twig from a guilty stock;
poor, helpless, feeble creature, it can do nothing for its body, and
still less for its soul. O God of _the spirits of all flesh_,
give it a plunge in _the blood of Jesus_--cleanse, O cleanse him
from original sin, and now, even now, in thy own sovereign and
mysterious way, sow _the grain of mustard seed_ in his soul."
In the spring of 1792, Mrs. Graham and her family were called to
a severe trial by the translation of their beloved pastor, Dr. Mason,
to a better world. A few months before his decease, while preaching to
his people, his recollection failed, his sermon was gone from his
mind, and he sat down in his pulpit unable to proceed. After a short
pause, he arose and addressed his people in a pious and affectionate
strain; he considered this event as a call from his heavenly Master to
expect a speedy dismission from the earth, and solemnly admonished
them also to be prepared for the will of God. His people, who loved
him, were affected to tears. An illness soon followed, which
terminated in the death of the body. He departed on the night when
Mrs. Graham took her turn of watching with him, and she closed his
eyes, which she always accounted a privilege and honor bestowed upon
her by her divine Master. But this tender and affecting scene is best
described in a letter which she wrote to her sympathizing friend Mrs.
Walker, of Edinburgh.
"NEW YORK, April, 1792, Sabbath noon.
"MY DEAR MADAM--It is not my custom to take my pen on this day
even to write to a Christian friend, having occasion for the whole
time with my family or in secret with my God; but I cannot go to
dinner, I cannot eat, I cannot talk to my girls; my heart must bleed
afresh on the same altar upon which it has often been pierced. O,
madam, my dear Dr. Mason goes, and leaves me here alone: in all
probability his course is nearly finished, and his crown awaits him.
Five physicians now attend him closely. I have seen him often, and he
says, 'All is well, all will be well,' Of the physicians he said,
'Yes, yes, it is very well; they are useful men in God's hand; they
may be instrumental in patching up the tabernacle a little. If it be
raised to usefulness, I am content; if not to usefulness, I do not
desire it. I feel no concern about the issue of this; the will of the
Lord be done.'
"I say, Amen; but Oh, I feel alone. I should need large
communications from his Master to fill up this blank. I cannot write
for weeping; now my face is so swelled I cannot go to church. I called
at his house this morning, found the doctors in the parlor, and
learned from them the worst. The bell was ringing for church. I
stifled as much as possible my grief; would fain have come home to
give it vent, but durst not be absent from the house of God. I heard a
stranger in Dr. Rodgers' church; our doors are closed; his text was,
'Henceforth I call you not servants, but friends;' he ran the parallel
between human friendship and that subsisting between Christ and his
disciples. I ought to be comforted, nay, I am comforted.
"The Bible lies open before me; it is full of consolation; but
all is in prospect. I look at God, what he is in himself, what he is
to his people _now_ and what he will be to _eternity_: the
consolations of hope are mine; but for the present, I feel like the
sparrow on the house-top, or like a pelican in the wilderness; and
when I think on my years and the robustness of my constitution, and
that I may have a long journey before me, I am not able to look at it.
At the same time, when I consider my children, who, having lost their
pastor, who bore them on his heart to the throne of grace, have double
need of a mother, I dare not indulge a wish, far less put up a
petition for release. O, that I could get under the influence of that
spirit which I have witnessed in my dear pastor--that entire
confidence in God--that perfect resignation to his will--that
complacency in all he has done, is doing, or will do--that rest in
God, of which he seems to be put in possession even now, while his
breast is laboring and heaving like a broken bellows, and he cannot
fetch one full breath. O, what cannot God effect.
"SUNDAY EVENING. I have again seen my dear pastor, and discern
the clay dissolving fast. The words of dying saints are precious, and
his are few. He thus accosted me: 'I am just waiting the will of God;
for the present I seem a useless blank in his hand; I can say very
little; be not too anxious for my life, but transfer your care to the
church; my life or death is but a trifle; if the Lord have any use for
me, it is easy for him to raise me up still; and if he do, it will be
agreeable to observe his hand distinct from men; if he should not, you
will all be cared for; leave all to him and seek his glory.' He could
say no more, nor will I to-night, but address myself to our Lord on
his behalf, yours, my own, and our dear concerns.
"Several days have elapsed since I last wrote; our dear doctor
still lives, often recruits, and again is reduced; but man can do no
more; my last page, before the vessel sails, shall be of him.
"As to myself and family, we are as the Lord would have it with
us, and I make no doubt as we need. Business very full; a house full
of boarders, and about sixty scholars. I begin to feel the effects of
fatigue or age, I know not which. The almond-tree flourishes; those
that look out at the windows begin to be darkened; but the keepers of
the house stand firm, and all the wheels and springs discharge their
office, though more heavily; there is no judging of my days by present
appearances. Well, let me once more return to my rest--_God_;
commit my way to him, who shall bring to pass what is best, and in the
end shall complete my happiness.
"APRIL 23, MONDAY. It is finished. My dear minister's bitter
draught is over. On Thursday, the 19th of this month, a quarter before
ten o'clock, A.M., the Lord received his spirit and laid his weary
flesh to rest. He had a sore conflict with the king of terrors, who
seemed allowed to revel through every part of his mortal frame: his
legs were mortified to his knees; he had not been able to lie down for
four weeks, and died in his chair. Like his Master, he groaned, but
never complained: he had a draught of his Master's cup, but the bitter
ingredient _desertion_ made no part of it. I had the honor to
close his dear eyes, and to shut those dear lips from whence so many
precious truths have proceeded, and to mix with the ministering
spirits who attended to hail the released. This honor I had desired,
but did not reckon myself worthy, and hardly hoped for it; but the
Lord saw the wish, though never formed into a petition, and indulged
me. I bless him for it. And now, farewell human friendships; let me
gird up the loins of my mind, and run with patience the little
further, looking unto Jesus, and following also him my pastor, 'who,
through faith and patience, now inherits the promises.'
"This is a great work finished. Dr. Mason was 'a city set on a
hill.' He was with the army during all the war after the evacuation of
New York; had great influence over the soldiers; preached the gospel
of peace uniformly, but never meddled with politics, though he was
fully capable. In every situation the Lord supported him in uniformity
and consistency of character, and carried him through without a single
spot or stain. Glory to God in the highest for this repeated proof of
his faithfulness. 'Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright, for
the end of that man is peace.'
"I. GRAHAM."
Great was the grief of Dr. Mason's congregation on his removal.
In him, to great learning were united meekness, prudence, diligence,
and knowledge of the world, and an affectionate superintendence of the
interests, spiritual and temporal, of his flock. He so arranged his
avocations and studies in regard to time, that he had always a few
hours in the afternoon to devote to visiting the families of his
congregation. So regular was the order he observed, that Mrs. Graham
and her family knew when to calculate on seeing him, and always
expected him with the anticipation of profit and pleasure. Once every
week they were sure of seeing him, if in health. His visits were
short, his conversation serious, awakening, instructive, and
affectionate. He inquired about their temporal affairs, and in cases
of difficulty gave them his best advice. His counsels were salutary;
his knowledge of the world and his discrimination of character
rendered him well qualified to advise. In one of his visits to Mrs.
Graham she mentioned to him the want of good servants as one of her
trials. "Mrs. Graham," said he, "have you ever prayed to the Lord to
provide good servants for you? Nothing which interests our comfort is
too minute for the care of our heavenly Father."
To one of her daughters, who felt a strong inclination to profess
her faith in Christ by joining the communion of his church, but yet
was afraid that her heart was not sufficiently engaged for the service
of God, Dr. Mason proposed the following question: "If," said he, "the
world, with all its wealth, pleasures, and power, were placed in one
scale, and Christ alone in the other, which would your heart freely
choose as a portion?" On her replying there would be no hesitation as
to her choice of Christ, he gave her encouragement to profess her
faith, although it might not at present amount to the full assurance
of hope.
He was indeed a faithful shepherd of his flock, and his people
mourned for him as for an affectionate father. It is much to be
desired that his example were more followed by Christian pastors. To
preach with eloquence and acceptance is a talent of great value in a
minister of the gospel; this makes him respected, and his congregation
admire him, because, for one reason, they are proud of him; but to
gain their affections, to make a congregation the children of an aged
pastor, or the friends and brethren of a younger one, let the minister
visit the families of his people; this will seal on their hearts the
regard which their understandings had already dictated.
Very few ministers have been more remarkable for a strict
attention to this duty, than the late Dr. John Mason and his venerable
and attached friend Dr. Rodgers. When the former died, the latter
exclaimed, "I feel as if I had lost a right arm."
The congregation, bereaved of their pastor, wrote immediately to
his son, the late Rev. Dr. John Mitchell Mason, to hasten his return
from Edinburgh to New York; and after preaching to them with great
acceptance for several months, he was ordained and installed pastor of
the church in April, 1793. Mrs. Graham entertained for him the most
affectionate attachment, and this attachment was reciprocal.
At this date we find some of Mrs. Graham's delightful
devotional exercises.
"NEW YORK, 1793.
"Blessed Lord, thou hast, to the praise of thy grace, given me
the heritage of them that fear thy name; thou hast prepared my heart
to pray, and inclined thine ear to hear; thou hast drawn me into thy
fold, and hast fed me in thy green pastures. I rejoice in Israel's
Shepherd; not one of his flock shall be lost. Often have I wandered
from his presence and sought pasture among the swine, but my Shepherd
has ever drawn or driven me back. He has a rod and I have felt it; but
I bless the hand and kiss the rod.
"O, how wonderful to look back and see 'all the way by which he
has led me, to prove me, to try me, to show me what was in my heart,
that he might do me good at my latter end.' Amen, my God, I leave
myself in thy hands. I should lose myself; but thou wilt keep me from
foes without and foes within. What then have I to care for? My
Shepherd careth for all; he slumbers not nor sleeps, and he will
perfect what concerns me; of this I am as sure as that I now write it.
"The law of thy mouth is better unto me than gold and silver. O
how I love thy law, it is my meditation all the day. Thou, through thy
commandments--or the whole of thy truth--hast made me wiser than my
teachers. The law of God makes the simple wise. How sweet are thy
words unto my taste, yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth. Through thy
precepts I get understanding, therefore I hate every false way. 'Thy
word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.' How safe, how
happy are they who are taught by the word of God. 'Blessed art thou,
Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood hath not taught thee this, but my
Father who is in heaven.'
"O my children, enrich your minds with a full acquaintance with
the word of God; lay it up in your memories, when you can do nothing
more; be assured, if ever you are made wise unto salvation, it must be
by this word; if ever you are taught of God, he will teach you by the
words contained in the Bible. 'Search the Scriptures, for they are
they which testify of me;' search the Scriptures, for in them are
contained the words of eternal life. 'Be followers of them who,
through faith and patience, now inherit the promises.'
"Holy David went forward, heavenward, improving in the knowledge
of God, of himself, and of God's plan of salvation for ruined sinners,
by studying the word, the works, and the providences of God, but
chiefly the word of God; praying for, watching for the influences of
God's Spirit on his judgment and thinking powers: it was by this that
he became wiser than his teachers. He was a king, and had the cares of
the nation to occupy his mind; he was a man of war, and had that art
to study. But O, the privilege of the Christian! he goes through every
part, even of his earthly way, leaning upon God. David could say, even
of war, 'The Lord teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.'
'The Lord subdued the people under me.' In temporals and in
spirituals, he is my shield, my strength, my buckler, my strong
tower.' I shall not fear what man can do unto me.' 'In Judah's land
God is well known; there he brake the spear, the bow, and the battle.'
He ascribes all to God. We hear nothing of his own wisdom, his
disciplined armies, his order of battle and warlike powers, though
attention to all these was his duty, and not neglected by him. He
devoted all his natural talents to God; he exercised them diligently,
but still he knew and acted under the influence of that knowledge,
that unless the Lord build the house, the builders lose their pains;
unless the Lord keep the city, the watchmen watch in vain. He, as well
as worldly men, chose the means best adapted to the end proposed. Let
natural men assert, and let it be admitted, that David knew better how
to use a sling and a stone, than mail, helmet, and sword; therefore he
chose them. But follow David until he meets the hostile foe. Do we
hear a word of his art as a slinger, as a marksman? though we may
suppose he was expert at both. 'Thou comest to me with a sword, a
spear, and a shield; but I come in the name of the Lord of hosts, the
God of the armies of Israel whom thou hast defied; and this assembly
shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear'--these are
not essential--'for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you
into our hands.'
"How comfortably might Christians go through life did they walk
with God in their daily business and occupations, carefully observing
the leadings of Providence, cautiously avoiding either running before
or lagging behind; but in all things making their requests known to
God; at all times committing their way to him, being careful about
nothing, but to use with diligence the means of grace, and also the
means of acquiring the good things of life, leaving the issues of both
to God, in the full assurance that what is good the Lord will give.
'Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and
verily thou shalt be fed.' In spirituals and in temporals, 'the hand
of the diligent maketh rich.' Be 'not slothful in business, fervent in
spirit, serving the Lord.'
"Lord, teach me thy law graciously, in all its perfection, its
extent, order, beauty, and harmony, and grant me all the assistance
provided to enable a lost, depraved, corrupted child of Adam, to set
out in thy good ways, to go forward, and to finish in the same course;
and all the consolation, joy, and peace which thou hast provided to be
enjoyed in a measure even here, and to be perfected in the world to
come. Amen.
"'O Israel, return unto the Lord, for thou hast fallen by thine
iniquity.' Hos. 14. Yes, fallen, O how fallen from God the only good,
the fountain of happiness. Lost his image, which was the glory of man
in paradise. Lost that sweet complacency and delight in his
perfections and attributes which innocence enjoyed. Lost rectitude of
reason and judgment. No longer can we judge of excellence, no longer
love what God loves. Our wills no longer straight with his will, but
crooked, opposing God, and choosing evil instead of good. 'O Israel,
thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Amen, says my
soul, in thee is my help."
"NEW YORK, October 3, 1793.
"'One shall say, I am the Lord's, and another shall call himself
by the name of Jacob; and another shall subscribe with his hand unto
the Lord, and surname himself by the name of Israel.' Isaiah 44:5.
"I, as one, subscribe to the truth of all that God has said: I,
as one, subscribe my assent to all he has done. I set my amen to his
well-ordered covenant, well-ordered in all things, and sure. And this
is the covenant, even Christ, the sum and substance, for he hath given
him to be a covenant of the people. The whole and every part of it is
God's covenant. To me it must be a testament, the new testament in
Christ's blood. To me it must be a covenant of gifts and promises. I
can be no party, having nothing to give; nothing with which to
covenant. He hath said, 'Thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy
help.' Amen. Be my help, my deliverer.
"'Look unto me, all ye ends of the earth, and be saved; for I am
God, and there is none else.' I do look unto thee alone for salvation.
Thou art God; there is none else: besides thee there is no Saviour.
"'I will pour water on the thirsty, and floods on the parched
ground. I will pour my Spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thy
offspring.' Amen. I yield my soul into thy hand, dry and parched, to
receive thy showers of reviving, quickening, fructifying grace."
Writing about this date to her beloved friend Mrs. O---- of
Edinburgh, Mrs. Graham, for the encouragement of her friend, gives
her, in confidence, the following record of her own Christian
experience:
"It is now. I think, thirty-five years since I simply, but
solemnly, accepted of the Lord's Christ, as God's gift to a lost
world. I rolled my condemned, perishing, corrupted soul upon this
Jesus, exhibited in the gospel as a Saviour from sin. My views then
were dark compared with what they now are: but this I remember, that
at the time I felt heart-satisfying trust in the mercy of God, as the
purchase of Christ; and for a time rejoiced with joy scarce
supportable, singing almost continually the 103d Psalm.
"I took a view of the promises of God, and wrote out many of
them, and called them mine; and among the foremost was that in Psalm
89:30-33; and well has the Lord kept me to it, and made it good: for,
my dear friend, never was there a more unsteady, unwatchful Christian;
never did the children of Israel's conduct in the wilderness depict
any Christian's heart and conduct in the gospel times better than
mine; and just so has the Lord dealt with me. When he slew me, then I
trusted in him; when he gave me carnal ease and comfort, I forgot my
Rock and rebelled. Often did I stumble too from legality, instead of
looking at my own weakness and impotence, and trusting wholly in my
Redeemer's strength. I was wroth with myself, wondered at myself, and
thought it impossible I could be as I had been. I made strong
resolutions, yea, vows, and became a slave in means to hedge in this
wandering, worldly, vain, flighty heart; but, alas, a few months found
me where I was, with scarce a thought of God from morning to night;
prayer huddled over in words that had no effect on my heart; and the
fear of hell the chief restraint from sin or spur to duty. Then, in
general, the Lord had some affliction for me, which laid me afresh at
his feet, and made me take a fresh grasp of Christ, and a fresh view
of his covenant: then again I felt safety, joy, peace, and happiness.
"Thus, by line upon line, by precept upon precept, aye, and by
stripe upon stripe, he taught me that I could not walk a moment
alone. This is now my fixed faith; and in proportion as I keep it in
sight, I walk safely; but I still forget, and still stumble and
still fall; but I am lifted up and taught lesson after lesson; and I
shall stumble and shall fall while sin is in me; but the last
stumble shall come, and the last stripe shall be laid on, and the
last lesson taught, and that which concerns me shall be perfected.
O, then shall I look back, and see 'all the way by which he has led
me, to prove me and try me, and show me what was in my heart, that
he might do me good in my latter end.'
"I am often, even in this valley of darkness and ignorance,
allowed this retrospective view; and am led to say not one word of
all that he promised has failed. 'Hitherto the Lord hath helped, he
hath been the guide of my youth, and even unto hoar hairs will he
lead me;' and when he calls me to pass through the valley of the
shadow of death, I shall even then fear no evil, for his rod and
staff shall support me; and I shall enter into the presence of my
Redeemer, white and clean, dressed in his most perfect righteousness;
angels and saints shall know me in this glorious robe; my Redeemer
will acknowledge me as his ransomed, and I shall be for ever with the
Lord."
To Mr. A.D., Edinburgh.
"NEW YORK, 1793.
"I have just been reading over my dear friend's precious letters,
and am refreshed anew by the same truths and uniform experience of
every Christian; which all amounts to this, that the Lord is the
portion of his people, and that whom he loves, he loves to the end. My
soul melts with tenderness when I recollect my fellow-travellers in
the wilderness; those dear associates with whom I have so often taken
sweet counsel; who so often comforted me with the same comforts with
which they themselves were comforted. I am also led to recollect some
who have finished their warfare; some whose trials were sharp and
long, but who, through the same grace in which we trust, were
steadfast to the end; and now inherit a crown of life--the reward of
grace, not of debt.
"I rejoice to hear that your children are promising; I think it
is the greatest comfort a parent can enjoy in this world. I have a
large share of it in my three daughters; but my prodigal is not come
to himself; he still feeds on husks, nor thinks of the plenty in his
Father's house. I had great hopes last winter; I heard he had been
very ill in consequence of very severe treatment from his captain. The
Lord has been emptying him from vessel to vessel, and I have been
waiting the issue; but mine eyes almost fail. I have great hopes that
God's time of mercy will come. I am also satisfied that it will be the
best time; but still I cry, O how long? My dear friends, I think I
would recommend it to you to _keep your children about you_. No
other had ever the influence over him that I had; and I regret that I
did not bring him with me.
"Our young Timothy, J.M., is a perfect champion for the gospel of
Jesus; the Lord has well girded him and largely endowed him; he walks
closely with God, and speaks and preaches like a Christian of long
experience: he was ordained about two months ago in his father's
church, and a few weeks after married a lady of eminent piety, and
preached all the day, both the Sabbath before and after: no levity, no
novelty appeared in word or gesture, which is not always the case with
the best at such times. There is probably no church in New York whose
discipline is as strict, nor one which has so many communicants. He is
reckoned a man of great talents and an orator; and many of even the
idle and careless go to hear him.
"A few Sabbaths ago he preached from these words, 'I determined
to know nothing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.'
After proving that all the Scriptures, from the beginning of Genesis
to the end of Revelation, pointed to Christ and his great work of
redemption, and asserting that that sermon could not be called the
gospel of which He was not the subject, he spoke home to his audience,
and told them that this, through the aid of divine grace, was his firm
purpose--to dwell on redeeming love. He was sure no subject would be
welcome to any Christian, where Christ was not to be found; nor would
any such subject ever convert a sinner; and therefore, if any were
about to take their place there, expecting to hear any new or strange
thing, let them not disappoint themselves. O, for a thankful heart;
the Lord has indeed done wonders for me and mine; and blessed be his
name for his mercy also, that in a remarkable manner, by a strange
concurrence of circumstances, he hedged me in to become a member of
this congregation, where I am led and fed with the same truths which
nourished my soul in Zion's gates at Edinburgh; and I am helped to
sing the Lord's song in a foreign land. Often have I been tempted to
hang my harp upon the willow, 'when Zion I thought on;' but this was,
and sometimes still is my sin and ingratitude, for I ought to build
houses, and plant vineyards, and seek the good of the land; for he has
a small vineyard here, which he waters and cultivates, and I ought to
labor therein, and do whatsoever my hand findeth to do with diligence,
and say, 'The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof; heaven is
his throne, the earth his footstool,' and he fills all things and
all places.
"'What aileth thee, Hagar?' O what a God of mercy is our God!
Often has he hailed me in some such language: 'What aileth thee?' why
is thy countenance sad? am I not better to thee than ten friends? Then
has he turned my heart to him, made me feel myself close to him; he
has suffered me to lean on his bosom, hang on his arm, and lisp out,
Abba. At such blest moments I have thought the whole earth but one
point, and from that to heaven but one step, and the time between but
as one moment; and my company here sufficient to satisfy me by the
way. At such blest moments I felt perfect, full, entire satisfaction
with all that God is, all that he does; and could trust him fully with
all my concerns, spiritual, temporal, and eternal. But, alas, by and
by, like a peevish child, I began to fret, wish this, wish that;
grieve for this, grieve for that; fear this, fear that; stagger,
stumble, fall. O what a God of patience and long-suffering. And O how
rich that well-ordered covenant, that provides suitable grace for all
these unsteady seasons. It is my greatest consolation that the Lord
knows it all. There are times when I cannot see him, but every moment
he sees me. I should fall off and leave him, but he holds me fast and
never leaves me. O blessed plan, where God secures us in safety, even
from ourselves. We have not only destroyed ourselves, and he has been
our help; but we are ever destroying ourselves, and still he renews
this help.
"Well, what shall we say? Father, glorify thy name, and let us
lie in thy hand as clay in the potter's, till thou finish thy
workmanship, and fit us vessels of mercy, to be filled with happiness,
when thou shalt have done thy good pleasure in us, and by us, in this
world, through the grace that is in Christ Jesus, who loved us, and
gave himself for us; to whom be glory, honor, and praise in the church
below, and in the general assembly above, now and ever. Amen.
"My love, my heart's love, to my dear Mrs. D----. I am ever your
affectionate friend, in the bonds of the gospel,
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
Early in 1793 Mrs. Graham heard, from a worthy clergyman at
Greenock, who, at her request, paid attention to her son, that he had
been very ill of a fever, and subsequently subject to epileptic fits.
In one of these he had fallen from the mast-head, and was rendered
unfit for service for many months. The gentleman to whom he was
apprenticed, permitted him to leave. In these circumstances Mrs.
Graham addressed to him the following letter:
"MY LONG-LOST BUT STILL DEAR SON--If this ever reach you, hearken
to the voice of your mother, your only parent, and to the voice of God
by her. O, my son, you have had a long race in the service of Satan;
he has kept you in bondage and made you his drudge. You are far
advanced in the broad way that leads to destruction--to that place of
endless torment prepared for the devil and his angels, to which Satan
is dragging you. He has even been seeking the destruction of your
body, that he might have you secure.
"O, my son, think. Has he proved a good master? What have you
found in his service? and has he not disappointed all your gayest
hopes, and fed you with husks? Have you, my son, been happy? Are you
not obliged to drive away your own reflections? I know you are. Dare
you, my son, sit down and think over all the past, all the present,
and look forward to the future with any degree of comfort? My son, you
cannot. Hear then the word of the Lord; that Lord, that merciful Lord,
who has seen you in all your rebellion, heard every profane oath you
may have uttered, seen you rioting among the sons of Belial; yet what
is his voice to you? O, my son, it is not, 'Bind him hand and foot,
and cast him into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone; where
there is weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, where the worm
dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.' No, my son, the door of
mercy is still open to you; the Lord calls, 'O sinner, thou hast
destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Only repent, so iniquity
shall not prove your ruin.' 'Hearken unto me, ye stout-hearted, that
are far from righteousness: I bring near my righteousness; it shall
not be far off, and my salvation shall not tarry.' 'Hear, and your
soul shall live.' 'Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be
saved'--saved from hell; saved from Satan and his snare; saved from
the force of corruption in your heart.
"I do not call upon you, my poor corrupt boy, to turn from sin
and work righteousness in your own strength; this you can no more do
than the Ethiopian can change his skin; but I do call upon you to
receive the whole of God's salvation, and power to resist sin is a
principal part of it. In God's word it is said, that the Lord gave
Christ to be a covenant to the people: we have to covenant with him on
our part; we are all poor, lost, miserable creatures, I as well as
you, by nature; but the Lord Christ is God's gift to sinners. All the
other promises are made to those who have received and accepted of
this gift; but Christ himself is God's gift to sinners--to the chief
of sinners--_to you, John Graham, by name_; and the Bible says,
to as many as receive him, to them gives he power to become the sons
of God. God gave Christ to become the price in our hand; we take this
gift, and offer back, as the price of our redemption, his atoning
sacrifice, his all-perfect righteousness; and on this ground we are
entitled, by his own plan, which he prepared from first to last, to
plead for the full accomplishment of all the promises in the Bible:
for the pardon of sin; yea, for an entire new nature.
"O, my son, open your Bible, go to your knees, look out words
there fit for your case; present them humbly before God, turn all the
promises you find there, all the offers, all the calls, all the
commands, all the threatenings into prayer--for you of yourself can do
nothing--and ask that God, for Christ's sake, may pour out on you the
spirit of prayer. I know not how to have done; yet I well know, unless
the Lord soften your poor obdurate heart, it will still remain hard.
O, my son, be willing to put it in his hand, to receive his salvation,
and give yourself up to his guiding. I beg you will read with care the
15th chapter of the gospel of Luke. The Lord spoke these parables to
show how very willing he is to receive returning sinners. Your mother
and all your sisters are willing to follow his example; return to us,
my son. We will watch over you we will pray over you, and we will try,
by every endearing method, to restore you not only to health, but to
comfort. Your sisters wish you to come; all your friends are willing
to receive you; we will not upbraid you.
"Do, my dear, leave Greenock; come out to us by any way you can
find, I will pay your passage here; or if you can get to any port in
America, you can write me from that, and I will get you forwarded
here; and, after you are here, if you still wish to follow the sea, we
can get you a berth in some trading vessel from this. All your friends
here send best wishes. And now, my son, I commend you to the Lord. O,
that he may bless this to you,
"Your affectionate mother,
"I. GRAHAM."
The last intelligence that Mrs. Graham received of her
unfortunate son was in a letter from himself, dated Demarara, 1794, in
which he states that he had sailed from Amsterdam in a Dutch vessel;
was taken by the French, and retaken by the English; had arrived at
Demarara in the ship Hope; and should he not soon hear from his
mother, would return to Europe with a fleet which was shortly to sail
under convoy. Mrs. Graham notices this event as follows:
"NEW YORK, February 20, 1794.
"This day I have a letter from my poor wanderer. It is more than
a year since I heard of him. Accept of my thanks, good and gracious
Lord. I feared his cup had been full, and he called out of the world
with all his sins on his own head; for I have no tidings of his
turning from his sinful courses, or fleeing from the wrath to come, by
taking hold of the hope set before him.
"I bless thee, Oh, I bless thee, for thy sparing mercy, thy
long-suffering, thy patience, thy forbearance. Yea, even to him, thou
hast been more than all this. Thou hast been his preserver, his
provider; thou hast watched over him in many imminent dangers, in the
great deeps, in burning and in frozen climes.
"Thou hast followed him with thy preserving mercy and temporal
bounty. He is still in the land of the living, and among those who are
called to look unto thee and live. Still thou feedest my hopes of
better things for him. Thou sufferest my prayers to lie on the table
of thy covenant. I will trust, I will hope, I will believe, that in an
accepted time thou wilt hear me, and in a day of thy power thou wilt
bow his stubborn will, and lay him an humble suppliant at thy feet.
Oh, I trust thou wilt bring this poor prodigal to himself, and turn
his steps towards his Father's house. See how he feeds with the swine
upon husks, and even these not his own. O turn his thoughts to his
'Father's house, where there is bread enough, and to spare.'
"'Lord, remember thy gracious word, on which thou hast caused me
to hope,' and which has ever been my comfort in the time of my
affliction, and in my straits my only relief.
"He is again launched into thy great ocean. Lord, he is far from
every friend and from every means of grace, and for any thing I know,
far from thee by wicked works; under thy curse and hateful in thy
sight; but thou, God, seest him. Means are not necessary, if thou
willest to work without. Thou canst find an avenue to his heart at
once. Dead as he is, vile as he is, guilty as he is, far from help of
man, and in the most unlikely situation to receive the help of God,
yet I know all these hinderances, all these mountains shall melt as
wax at thy presence.
"Lord, I believe, thou knowest I believe, that if thou but speak
the word, this dead soul shall live; this vile, this guilty soul shall
be cleansed, shall be renewed, and my son be changed to an humble,
thankful, genuine child of God, through the cleansing blood of
atonement, through the imputation of the Redeemer's righteousness and
the implantation of thy Spirit. I can do nothing for him, but thou
canst do all this. I wait for it, Lord, I wait for thy salvation.
Lord, let there be 'joy in heaven over this one sinner repenting.' I
roll him on thee. I trust in thy sovereign, free, unmerited mercy in
Christ. Amen."
All inquiries instituted by kind friends respecting this son
proved fruitless; and as a vessel named the Hope was some months after
reported as having been taken by the French, it is perhaps probable
that he died in a French prison.
Thus again had his afflicted mother to exercise faith and
submission, not without hope towards God that the great Redeemer had
taken care of, and would finally save this prodigal son. She had known
a case in her father's family, which excited their solicitude and
encouraged her hope. Her younger brother, Archibald Marshall, a lad of
high temper, though possessed of an affectionate heart, had gone to
sea, and was not heard of at all for several years. A pious woman, who
kept a boarding-house in Paisley, found one of her boarders one day
reading Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, with
Archibald Marshall's name written on the blank leaf. On inquiry, the
stranger told her that he got that book from a young man on his
death-bed as a token of regard. That young man was Archibald Marshall;
he was an exemplary Christian, "and I have reason," added he, "to
bless God that he ever was my mess-mate." The woman who heard this
account, transmitted it to Mr. Marshall's family, who were known to
her. Mrs. Graham had no such consolatory account afforded to her; but
under much yearning of heart she left this concern, as well as every
other, to the disposal of that God "who doeth all things well."
Again she sings of mercy in a sweet meditation.
"NEW YORK, October 1, 1794
"'Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt
bountifully with thee.'
"Blessed be the Lord, for he hath showed me his marvellous
loving-kindness in a strong city--Christ, the city of refuge.
"Thou hast given me my heart's desire, and hast not withholden
the request of my lips. 'One thing have I desired of the Lord,' and
through life sought after for myself and the children whom thou hast
given me; 'that all the days of our lives we might dwell in the house
of the Lord,' behold his beauty, and inquire in his holy temple; that
in the time of trouble he would hide us in his pavilion, in the secret
of his tabernacle, and set our feet upon a rock.
"O thou incarnate God; thou blessed temple not made with hands;
thou blessed pavilion, in which thy people hide in the time of
trouble, and are safe; thou Rock of ages, on which we build our hopes
for time and eternity, and defy the assaults of sin, Satan, and the
world: thou, Jehovah Jesus, art all these to thy people. Thou
broughtest them 'from a fearful pit and from the miry clay; thou
settest their feet upon this spiritual rock, and establishest their
goings; thou puttest a new song in their mouths, even praise unto
their God.' Many have seen it and sung it; many now see and sing it;
many shall see and sing it, and trust in the Lord. They find in thee
all that is expressive of life; all that is expressive of safety; all
that is expressive of comfort; all that is expressive of happiness.
"'O how many are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and
thy thoughts which are to us-ward; they cannot be reckoned up in order
unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than
can be numbered.' Thou, thy blessed self, art the sum and substance of
every good to man. All this I know; all this have I at different times
experienced; and yet my heart is heavy, my spirits depressed. There is
no cause, Oh no. Thy very afflictive providences have met my wishes,
and been so many answers to my prayers.
"Thou Husband of the widow, thou Father of the fatherless, O how
fully, how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy
worthless servant. Thou, in my early widowhood, didst call me to leave
my fatherless children on thee, annexing the promise that thou wouldst
preserve them alive.
"Thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a
spiritual sense; to ask, to hope, to wait for the new birth, the life
which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow.
"In three of these fatherless I have seen thy work. Long did the
grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness;
long were my hopes and fears alternate; but now the blessed
discipline of the covenant has been exercised; I have witnessed it, I
have felt it--suffered the rod with them and for them, but waited for
the fruits in hope; and glory to thee, dear Husband and Father, I
have not waited in vain. Thou hast written _vanity,_ and opened our
eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment, except so far
as thou art enjoyed in them. Thou hast enabled not only thine aged
servant, but her children, to put a blank into thy hand, and to say,
'Choose thou for us.' We take hold of thy covenant, and choose it for
our portion. Is not this, O Lord, the full amount of my desires? Thou
wilt finish the work in thy own time, and by means of thy appointing.
Amen. Lord, do as thou hast said."