RETURN TO SCOTLAND--SCHOOL IN EDINBURGH.
No ship offering at this time from Antigua for Scotland, Mrs.
Graham embarked with her family in one bound to Belfast, Ireland.
Major Brown and his brother officers saw her safely out to sea; and he
gave her a letter to a gentleman in Belfast, containing, as he said, a
bill for the balance of the money she had deposited with him. After a
stormy and trying voyage, she arrived in safety at her destined port.
The correspondent in Ireland of Major Brown delivered her a letter
from that officer expressive of esteem and affection, and stating that
as a proof of respect for the memory of their deceased friend, he and
his brother officers had taken the liberty of defraying the expenses
of her voyage.
Consequently the bill he had given was for the full amount of her
original deposit; and thus, like the brethren of Joseph, _she found
all her money in the sack's mouth._ Being a stranger in Ireland,
without a friend to look out for a proper vessel in which to embark
for Scotland, she and her children went passengers in a packet; on
board of which, as she afterwards learned, there was not even a
compass. A storm arose and they were tossed to and fro for nine hours
in imminent danger. The rudder and the mast were carried away; every
thing on deck thrown overboard; and at length the vessel struck in the
night upon a rock, on the coast of Ayr, in Scotland. The greatest
confusion pervaded the passengers and crew. Among a number of young
students, going to the University at Edinburgh, some were swearing,
some praying, and all were in despair. The widow only remained
composed. With her babe in her arms she hushed her weeping family, and
told them that in a few minutes they should all go to join their
father in a better world. The passengers wrote their names in their
pocket-books, that their bodies might be recognized and reported for
the information of their friends. One young man came into the cabin,
asking, "Is there any peace here?" He was surprised to find a female
so tranquil; a short conversation soon evinced that religion was the
source of comfort and hope to them both in this perilous hour. He
engaged in prayer and then read the 107th Psalm. While repeating these
words, "he maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are
still," the vessel swung off the rock by the rising of the tide. She
had been dashing against it for an hour and a half, the sea making a
breach over her, so that the hold was now nearly filled with water.
Towards morning the storm subsided, and the vessel floated until she
rested on a sand-bank. Assistance was afforded from the shore, and the
shipwrecked company took shelter in a small inn, where the men seemed
anxious to drown the remembrance of danger in a bowl of punch. How
faithful a monitor is conscience! This voice is listened to in extreme
peril; but O, infatuated man, how anxious art thou to stifle the
warnings of wisdom in the hour of prosperity. Thousands of our race,
no doubt, delay their preparation for eternity until, by sudden death,
they have scarcely a moment left to perform this solemn work.
Mrs. Graham retired to a private room, to offer up thanksgiving
to God for his goodness, and to commend herself and her orphans to his
future care.
A gentleman from Ayr, hearing of the shipwreck, came down to
offer assistance; and in him Mrs. Graham was happy to recognize an
old friend. This gentleman paid her and her family much attention,
carrying them to his own house, and treating them with kindness
and hospitality.
In a day or two after this she reached Cartside, and entered her
father's dwelling; not the large ancient mansion in which she had left
him, but a thatched cottage, consisting of three apartments. Possessed
of a too easy temper and unsuspecting disposition, Mr. Marshall had
been induced to become security for some of his friends, whose failure
in business had reduced him to poverty. He now acted as factor of a
gentleman's estate in this neighborhood, of whose father he had been
the intimate friend, with a salary of twenty pounds sterling per annum
and the use of a small farm.
In a short time, however, his health failed, and he was deprived
of this scanty pittance, being incapable, as the proprietor was
pleased to think, of fulfilling the duties of factor.
Alive to every call of duty, Mrs. Graham now considered her
father as added, with her children, to the number of dependents on her
industry. She proved indeed a good daughter--faithful, affectionate,
and dutiful, she supported her father through his declining years; and
he died at her house, Feb. 13, 1783, aged 75, during her residence in
Edinburgh, surrounded by his daughter and her children, who tenderly
watched him during his last illness.
Having resided two years at Cartside, she removed to Paisley in
1778, where she taught a small school. The slender profits of such an
establishment, with a widow's pension of sixteen pounds sterling, were
the means of subsistence for herself and her family. When she first
returned to Cartside a few religious friends called to welcome her
home. The gay and wealthy part of her former acquaintances, who, like
the butterfly, spread their silken wings only to bask in the warmth of
a summer sun, found not their way to the lonely cottage of an
afflicted widow. Her worth, though in after-life rendered splendid by
its own fruits, was at this time hidden, excepting to those whose
reflection and wisdom had taught them to discern it more in the faith
and submission of the soul, than in the selfish and extravagant
exhibitions of that wealth bestowed by the bounty of Providence, but
expended too often for the purposes of vanity and dissipation.
In such circumstances, the Christian character of Mrs. Graham was
strongly marked. Sensible that her heavenly Father saw it good, at
this time, to depress her outward condition, full of filial
tenderness, and like a real child of God resigned to whatever should
appear to be his will, her conduct conformed to his dispensations.
With a cheerful heart, and in the hope of faith, she set herself to
walk down into the valley of humiliation, "leaning upon Jesus," as the
beloved of her soul. "I delight to do thy will, O my God, yea, thy law
is within my heart," was the spontaneous effusion of her genuine
faith. She received with affection the scriptural admonition, "Humble
yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt
you in due time; casting all your care upon him, for he careth
for you."
She laid aside her children's fine frocks, and clothed them in
homespun. At Cartside she sold the butter she made, and her children
were fed on the milk. It was her wish to eat her own bread, however
coarse, and to owe no person anything but love. At Paisley, for a
season, her breakfast and supper was porridge, and her dinner potatoes
and salt. Peace with God and a contented mind supplied the lack of
earthly prosperity, and she adverted to this her humble fare, to
comfort the hearts of suffering sisters, with whom she corresponded at
a later period of life, when in comfortable circumstances.
Meantime the Lord was not unmindful of his believing child; but
was preparing the minds of her friends for introducing her to a more
enlarged sphere of usefulness.
Her pious and attached friend, Mrs. Major Brown, had accompanied
her husband to Scotland, and they now resided on their estate in
Ayrshire. Mr. Peter Reid, a kind friend when in Antigua, was now a
merchant in London. This gentleman advised her to invest the little
money she had brought home--and which she had still preserved--in
muslins; which she could work into finer articles of dress, and he
would ship them in a vessel of his own/freight free, to be sold in the
West Indies. His object was partly to increase her little capital, and
partly to divert her mind from meditating so deeply on the loss of her
lamented husband. The plan so kindly proposed was soon adopted; the
muslin dresses were shipped; but she soon afterwards learned that the
ship was captured by the French. This was a severe loss, and more
deeply felt as it was received at the time when her father was
deprived of his office.
Mrs. Brown, after consulting with the Rev. Mr. Randall of
Glasgow, the Rev. Mr. Ellis of Paisley, Lady Glenorchy and Mrs. Walker
of Edinburgh, proposed to Mrs. Graham to take charge of a
boarding-school in that metropolis.
The friends of religion were of opinion that such an
establishment, under the direction of one possessing the
qualifications of Mrs. Graham, would be of singular benefit to young
ladies destined for important stations in society. Her liberal
education, her acquaintance with life, and her humble yet ardent
piety, were considered peculiarly calculated to qualify her for so
important a trust.
Another friend had suggested to Mrs. Graham the propriety of
opening a boarding-house in Edinburgh, which he thought could, through
his influence, be easily filled by students.
She saw obstacles to both: a boarding-house did not appear
suitable, as her daughters would not be so likely to have the same
advantages of education as from a boarding-school; and to engage as an
instructress of youth on so large a scale, with so many competitors,
appeared for her an arduous undertaking.
In this perplexity, as in former trials, she fled to her unerring
counsellor the Lord, her covenant God. She set apart a day for fasting
and prayer. She spread her case before the Lord, earnestly beseeching
him to make his word "a light to her feet and a lamp to her path," and
"to lead her in the way in which she should go;" especially that she
might be directed to choose the path in which she could best promote
his glory and the highest interests of herself and her children. On
searching the Scriptures, her mind fastened on these words in John
21:15, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith
unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him,
Feed my lambs."
Never, perhaps, was this commandment applied with more filial
confidence, or accompanied with a richer blessing, since the days of
the apostle, than in the present instance.
Her determination was accordingly made. She resolved to undertake
the education of youth, trusting that her Lord would make her an
humble instrument of training some for his service on earth, and his
praises in heaven. Here was exhibited an instance of simple yet
powerful faith in a believer surrounded by temporal perplexities, and
of condescension and mercy on the part of a compassionate God. Light
unseen by mortal eyes descended on her path.
How weak, perhaps enthusiastic, would this have appeared to the
busy crowd, blind to the special providence exercised by the God of
heaven towards all his creatures. She felt the pressure of her
affliction; but, like the Psalmist, _gave herself unto prayer_:
"Prayer ardent opens heaven, lets down a stream
Of glory on the consecrated hour
Of man in audience with the Deity."
Though her faith was strong, yet her mind was under such
agitation, from her total want of funds to carry her plan into effect,
and from other conflicting exercises, as to throw her into a nervous
fever, which kept her confined to her bed for some weeks. On her
recovery, she felt it her duty to _go forward,_ trusting that He,
who had directed her path, would provide the means that were necessary
to enable her to walk in it: she sold her heavy furniture, packed up
all her remaining effects, and prepared to set out from Paisley for
Edinburgh on a Monday, in the year 1779.
On the Saturday previous she sat by her fire musing and wondering
in what manner the Lord would appear for her at this time, when a
letter was brought to her from Mr. Peter Reid, enclosing a sum of
money which he had recovered from the underwriters, on account of Mrs.
Graham's muslins captured on their passage to the West Indies. Mrs.
Graham had considered them as totally lost, but her friend had taken
the precaution to have them insured.
With this supply she was enabled to accomplish her object, and
arrived in Edinburgh with her family. Her friend Mrs. Brown met her
there, and stayed with her a few days, to comfort and patronize her in
her new undertaking. Mrs. Brown was her warm and constant friend until
her death, which occurred at Paisley in 1782, when she was attending
the communion. She bequeathed her daughter Mary to Mrs. Graham's care.
But in 1785 the daughter followed the mother, being cut off by a fever
in the twelfth year of her age.
It may be proper here to introduce the name of Mr. George
Anderson, a merchant in Glasgow, who had been an early and particular
friend of Dr. Graham. He kindly offered his friendly services, and the
use of his purse, to promote the welfare of the bereaved family of his
friend. Mrs. Graham occasionally drew upon both. The money she
borrowed she had the satisfaction of repaying with interest. A
correspondence was carried on between them after Mrs. Graham's removal
to America, until the death of Mr. Anderson, in 1802.
During her residence in Edinburgh she was honored with the
friendship and counsel of many persons of distinction and piety. The
Viscountess Glenorchy, Lady Boss Baillie, Lady Jane Belches, Mrs.
Walter Scott, mother of the poet, Mrs. Dr. Davidson, and Mrs.
Baillie Walker, were among her warm personal friends. The Rev. Dr.
Erskine, and Dr. Davidson, formerly the Rev. Mr. Randall of Glasgow,
and many respectable clergymen, were also her friends. She and her
family attended on the ministry of Dr. Davidson, an able,
evangelical, useful pastor.
Her school soon became respectable in numbers and character. Her
early and superior education now proved of essential service to her.
She was indefatigable in her attention to the instruction of her
pupils. While she was faithful in giving them those accomplishments
which were to qualify them for acting a distinguished part in this
world, she was also zealous in directing their attention to that
gospel by which they were instructed to obtain an inheritance in that
to come. She felt a high responsibility, and took a deep interest in
their temporal and spiritual welfare. As "a mother in Israel," she
wished to train them up in the ways of the Lord.
She prayed with them morning and evening; and on the Sabbath,
which she was careful to devote to its proper use, she took great
pains to imbue their minds with the truths of religion. Nor did she
labor in vain. Although she was often heard to lament of how little
use she had been compared with her opportunities of doing good, yet
when her children, Mr. and Mrs. B. visited Scotland in 1801, they
heard of many individuals, then pious and exemplary, who dated their
first religious impressions from those seasons of early instruction
which they enjoyed under Mrs. Graham while in Edinburgh.
Mrs. Graham's manner in the management of youth was peculiarly
happy. While she kept them diligent in their studies, and strictly
obedient to the laws she had established, she was endeared to them by
her tenderness; and the young ladies instructed in her school retained
for her in after-life a degree of filial affection which was expressed
on many affecting occasions. This was afterwards remarkably the case
with her pupils in America. Her little republic was completely
governed by a system of equitable laws. On every alleged offence, a
court-martial, as they termed it, was held, and the accused tried by
her peers. There were no arbitrary punishments, no sallies of
capricious passion. The laws were promulgated, and obedience was
indispensable; the sentences of the courts-martial were always
approved, and had a salutary effect. In short, there was a combination
of authority, decision, and tenderness in Mrs. Graham's government,
that rendered its subjects industrious, intelligent, circumspect, and
happy. She enjoyed their happiness; and in cases of sickness, she
watched over them with unremitting solicitude and care, sparing no
expense to promote their restoration to health.
A strong trait in her character was distinctly marked by her
educating the daughters of pious ministers at half price. This was
setting an example worthy of imitation. It was a conduct conformable
to scriptural precept. Said Paul, "If we have sown unto you spiritual
things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things? Do ye
not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things
of the temple? Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach
the gospel should live by the gospel."
Always conscientious in obeying the commandments of her God, she
observed them in this matter, giving, in her proportion, at least the
widow's mite.
By another plan, for she was ingenious in contrivances to do
good, she greatly assisted those in slender circumstances, especially
such as were of the household of faith. Believing that the use of sums
of ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds in hand would be serviceable by way
of capital to persons in a moderate business, she was in the habit of
making such advances, and taking back the value in articles they had
for sale. She charged no interest, being amply repaid in the luxury of
her own feelings, when she beheld the benefit it produced to her
humble friends. The board of her pupils being paid in advance, she was
enabled to adopt this plan with more facility. Were her spirit more
prevalent in the world, what good might be done. The heart would be
expanded, reciprocal confidence and affection cherished; and instead
of beholding worms of the dust fighting for particles of yellow sand,
we should behold a company of affectionate brethren leaning upon and
assisting each other through the wilderness of this world. "Look not
every man on his own things," said Paul, "but every man also on the
things of others. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law
of Christ."
On the subject of promoting the external accomplishments of her
scholars, it became a question how far Mrs. Graham was to
countenance them in their attendance on public balls--to what length
it was proper for her to go so as to meet the received opinions of
the world in these concerns. She consulted with her pious friends,
and wrote to Lady Glenorchy on the subject. Her ladyship's letter in
reply is so excellent that the serious reader will be gratified with
its insertion.
"BARNTON, December 27, 1781.
"DEAR MADAM--I received your letter last week, and also one some
time ago from Mrs. Walker, in which she desired me to send you my
sentiments upon the alteration you had made, and still thought of
making, upon your plan.
"I have since endeavored to consider, with all the attention of
which I am _at present_ capable, the arguments that may be
brought on both sides of the question; and with regard to the first
point, the _practisings_, I will frankly own, that could you send
your young ladies to one where _girls only_ are admitted, I
should more readily yield my opinion of the matter to those Christians
who have advised you to it. But as I learn that it is a promiscuous
dance of boys and girls, I must in conscience say that I look upon
such a meeting to be as pernicious in its effects upon the minds of
young people, as balls and public assemblies on persons of riper
years. When you mentioned the subject to me first, I thought it had
been a practising of girls _only_, else I should then have given
you my sentiments fully upon that head.
"As to the _reading of plays_, or any part of them, to your
young people, I must own, it does not appear to me to be expedient; it
may be productive of bad consequences, and the _good_ arising
from it is, at most, uncertain. It is, no doubt, very desirable to
enlarge young people's minds and improve their taste as well as their
persons; but such is the state of things in this world, that to attain
this to the degree wished for by every person of refined taste, some
things must be sacrificed of much greater value: for example, a girl
cannot acquire the smart, polished air of a person of fashion, without
imbibing too much of the spirit of the world. _Vanity_ and
_emulation_ must be awakened and cultivated in the heart, before
she will apply herself with diligence to outward accomplishments; nor
can her mind and taste be much improved in _polite_ literature,
without losing its relish for simple truth. I grant you, there are a
few Christians in the world who have acquired the outward
accomplishments of it, and have, by grace, been enabled to turn these
to good account--who, like the Israelites, having spoiled the
Egyptians, have made use of _their_ jewels in adorning the
tabernacle; but this can never serve as an argument on your side of
the question. If the Lord sees fit to manifest his power and grace by
plucking a brand from the burning, this is no reason why children
should be initiated into the ways of sin and folly, in hopes that some
time or other he will bring them out. We are never to do evil that
good may come; and this brings the question to a short issue.
"Do you think it lawful for Christians to attend public places,
or to spend their time in reading plays? Do you think these things
tend, either immediately or remotely, to promote the glory of God? If
you do not, I cannot see how you, _as a Christian_, can have any
hand in introducing young ladies to the one or in giving them a taste
for the other.
"This, dear madam, is _my_ view of the matter; but I do not
wish _you_ to walk by _my_ light. I believe all the children of God
are _taught by him_, and ought to follow the dictates of their own
consciences: I therefore pretend not _to advise_ you, but shall
endeavor to _pray_ that the great _unerring_ Counsellor may give you
divine wisdom to be your teacher, to lead you into all truth, and to
keep you from every thing inconsistent with his holy will.
"I have met with so many interruptions since I began this letter,
that I fear that it is hardly intelligible. I shall be sorry if I have
said any thing that gives you uneasiness; your spirits seem low, and
your business does not succeed so well as could be wished: perhaps I
ought to have employed my pen in the way of consolation and
encouragement, than by throwing in fresh matter of perplexity. Sure I
am, I do not _mean_ to add affliction to the afflicted; but
rather have been impelled, from a regard to truth, to write my real
sentiments, as you desired.
"Your friend and humble servant,
"W. GLENORCHY."
In after-life, Mrs. Graham was of opinion that she and her
scholars had gone too far in conformity with the opinions and manners
of the world. A reference to this deviation from what she considered a
close Christian walk in life, will be frequently found in her
subsequent exercises.
Lady Glenorchy being in a delicate state of health, made frequent
use of Mrs. Graham as her almoner to the poor. On one of these visits,
Mrs. Graham called on a poor woman with a present of a new gown. "I am
obliged to you and her ladyship for your kindness," said the poor
woman rich in faith, "but I maun gang to the right airth first; ye wad
na hae come, gin ye had na been sent; the Lord hath left me lately wi'
but ae goon for week-day and Sabbath, but now he has sent you wi' a
Sabbath-day's goon." Meaning, in plain English, that her thankfulness
was first due to the God of providence, who had put it into the hearts
of his children to supply the wants of this poor disciple.
Mrs. Graham used to repeat with pleasure an anecdote of her
friends Mr. and Mrs. Douglas. Mr. Douglas was a tallow-chandler, and
furnished candles for Lady Glenorchy's chapel. The excise-tax was very
high on making those articles, and many persons of the trade were
accustomed to defraud the revenue by one stratagem or another.
Religious principle would not permit Mr. Douglas to do so. Mrs. Graham
one evening was remarking how handsomely the chapel was lighted. "Aye,
Mrs. Graham," said Mrs. Douglas, "and it is all pure--the light is all
pure, it burns bright." It would be well if Christians of every trade
and profession were to act in like manner; that the merchant should
have no hand in unlawfully secreting property, or encouraging perjury
to accumulate gains; that the man of great wealth should have neither
usury nor the shedding of blood by privateering to corrode his
treasures; that all should observe a just weight and a just measure in
their dealings, as in the presence of God. Let every Christian seek
after the consolation of Mrs. Douglas, that the light which refreshes
him may be pure.
It being stated as matter of regret, that poor people when sick
suffered greatly, although while in health their daily labor supported
them, Mrs. Graham suggested the idea of every poor person in the
neighborhood laying aside _one penny a week_ to form a fund for
relieving the contributors when in sickness. Mr. Douglas undertook the
formation of such an institution. It went for a long time under the
name of "The Penny Society." It afterwards received a more liberal
patronage, has now a handsome capital, and is called, "The Society for
the Relief of the Destitute Sick."
In July, 1786, Mrs. Graham attended the dying bed of her friend
and patroness Lady Glenorchy: this lady had shown her friendship in a
variety of ways during her valuable life; she had one of Mrs. Graham's
daughters for some time in her family, condescended herself to
instruct her, and sent her for a year to a French boarding-school in
Rotterdam. She defrayed all her expenses while there, and furnished
her with a liberal supply of pocket-money, that she might not see
distress without the power of relieving it. So much does a person's
conduct in maturer years depend upon the habits of early life, that it
is wise to accustom young people to feel for and to contribute in
their degree to the relief of the afflicted and the needy.
Lady Glenorchy was a character in whom was eminently displayed
the power of religion. Descended from an ancient family, married to
the eldest son of the Earl of Broadalbaine, beautiful and
accomplished, she was received into the first circles of society. With
her husband she made the tour of Europe, visiting the several courts
on that continent. Yet all these things she "counted but loss for the
excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord." She became a
widow while yet in the bloom of youth. She devoted herself to the
service of the Lord, and was made singularly useful. She kept a
regular account of her income, and of the different objects to which
it was applied. She built and supported several chapels in England,
and erected one in Edinburgh, in which pious ministers of different
denominations should be admitted to preach.
She also built a manufactory for the employment of the poor,
where the education of children was strictly attended to: even the
porters' lodges on each side of her gate were occupied as schools for
the neighboring poor. Her pleasure-grounds were thrown open for the
accommodation of the numbers who usually come from a distance to
attend a communion-season in Scotland. In a year of scarcity the same
grounds were planted with potatoes for the supply of the poor. She
distributed with great judgment various sums of money in aid of
families who were poor, yet deserving. She never encouraged idleness
or pride, and often remarked that it was better to assist people to do
well in the sphere which Providence had assigned them, than to attempt
to raise them beyond it. There was so much wisdom in the active
application of her charities, as to render them both efficient and
extensive. She seldom was seen in these works of beneficence; her
object was to do good: the gratitude of those on whom she bestowed
benefits was no part of her motive, or even of her calculation. What
she did she did unto God, and in obedience to his commands; her faith
and hope were in God.
She contributed largely to the public institutions established at
Edinburgh in her day. Of one or two of the most useful she was the
first to suggest the idea, always accompanying her recommendation with
a handsome donation to encourage the work.
The venerable Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge
and Piety shared largely her patronage; and at her death she
bequeathed them five thousand pounds.
She indulged the hope of seeing a union of exertion, among all
Christian denominations, for sending the gospel to the heathen. How
delighted would she have been with the missionary societies of
London and elsewhere, had her life been spared to behold their
extensive operations.
She sold her estate of Barnton that she might apply the money to
a more disinterested object than her personal accommodation, and that
her fortune might be expended with her life, "I recollect here," said
Saurin in one of his sermons, "an epitaph said to be engraven on the
tomb of Atolus of Rheims: _He exported his fortune before him into
heaven by his charities--he Has gone thither to enjoy it_."
This might be truly said of Lady Glenorchy. In her manner she
discovered great dignity of character tempered with the meekness and
benevolence of the gospel. Her family was arranged with much economy,
and a strict regard to moral and religious habits. She usually
supported some promising and pious young minister as her chaplain,
which served him as an introduction to respectability in the church.
With very few exceptions, all those who entered her family as servants
were in process of time brought under religious impressions. So far it
pleased the Lord to honor her pious endeavors to render her family one
of the dwellings of the God of Jacob.
Mrs. Graham had the honor of attending the death-bed, and of
closing the eyes of this distinguished child of God. It had been Lady
Glenorchy's express desire that Mrs. Graham should be sent for, if
within twenty miles of her, when such attendance should be necessary.
The following letter to a daughter, two months later, gives us
another illustration of the self-denial and anxiety for the salvation
of the soul, with which Mrs. Graham personally ministered to the needy
and the suffering, and how skilfully she improved these scenes for the
benefit of others.
"EDINBURGH, September, 1786.
"MY DEAR DAUGHTER--Such a scene as I have been witness to!--poor
M. B---- is gone to her last abode; her state is fixed for ever. I
attended her sick-bed for eight successive days and nights, except
perhaps for an hour that I lay down in the same room. I held by life
to the very last, because I feared she was not in a fit state to die.
"She took every medicine that was prescribed for her, which I
administered with my own hand; but the time appointed to end her
mortal state had arrived, and go she must. She lived four days after
the physicians had lost all hope, and I think I never witnessed
greater distress. I watched every word with anxious care to find if
any breath of prayer was to be heard; but alas, I had no such
satisfaction. As she was insensible after the first few days, it was
not to be expected she could either think or pray.
"O, why will sinners resist the grace of God, and spend the
precious time given to seek and find it in thoughtless folly? What can
they do, on such a bed of distress, who have no God? Time misspent and
gone--opportunities unimproved and gone--calls resisted never to be
repeated--death hunting the soul through every avenue of life--a
dreadful, unknown, unthought of eternity at hand--an awful Judge, and
no Advocate secured to plead. A time was when a kind Saviour was
expostulating with them: 'Why will you die?' 'Hear, and your soul
shall live;' 'Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you;' 'Look unto me and be ye
saved, all ye ends of the earth;' 'Let the wicked forsake his way, and
the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return unto the Lord,
and he will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for he will
abundantly pardon;' 'Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the
waters'--blessings purchased by Christ: pardon of sin, reconciliation
with God, a new heart and spirit, all that is necessary for time and
eternity--'He that hath no money,' no merit, no good about him, no
claim upon any account whatever, 'come, buy and eat, without money and
without price;' 'Why spend ye your money,' time, talents, affections,
desires, 'for that which is not bread,' and cannot satisfy? 'incline
your ear, and come unto me; hear, and your soul shall live, and I will
make an everlasting covenant with you. Now is the accepted time; now
is the day of salvation. To-day if ye will hear his voice, harden not
your heart.'
"Such is the language of the dear Redeemer to sinners every day,
in his written word, from the pulpit, and in the dispensations of his
providence; but O, the madness of sinners, who will not think, who
will not attend, will not apply to this Saviour, whose sole errand
into this world was to seek and to save sinners, yea, the very chief;
but they will not put their souls into his hands, nor give him any
service. A time will come, and we are forewarned of it, when this same
inviting Saviour will say, 'Because I have called and ye refused,
stretched out my hand and no man regarded, I also will laugh at your
calamity, and will mock when your fear cometh.'
"Improve this dispensation, my dear child; beg of the Lord to
search you and try you, and see that your hopes be well grounded.
"Your affectionate mother,
"I. GRAHAM."
The following to her beloved friend Mrs. Walker, shows the
impressions made on the mind of Mrs. Graham by visiting _the place
of her nativity and the scene of her struggles with this world's
adversity_, when the hand of God was heavy upon her.
"EDINBURGH, September, 1787.
"MY DEAR MADAM--I have been on a jaunt for nearly three weeks; my
school mostly dismissed, the remainder I left with Miss S----.
Goodness and mercy have followed me, and the Lord has taken care of my
house also in my absence. Yours was put into my hand on my return, and
brought fresh cause of thankfulness; your observation, that we were
mutually feeding on the same allowance, continues to hold. I too have
been considering the works and doings of the Lord, and many of them
have been renewed in my memory by the scenes I have passed through.
"I visited the seat of my juvenile years with my dear and only
brother. There I recollected the days of my vanity, and the Lord's
patience and long-suffering; my repenting, my returning, his
pardoning, his blessing; my backslidings, his stripes and
chastisements, his restoring and recovering, yea, many and many times.
There, too, I found my old acquaintances no more; most of them had
finished their course under the sun; some I could still clasp in the
arms of faith, as united to the glorious Head, and now singing the
song of Moses and the Lamb. From the idea of others, I was obliged to
turn away and say, 'The Judge of all the earth shall do right.'
"I recollected a lowly cottage, where lived a pious father,
mother, two daughters, and a son; where the voice of prayer seldom
ceased, the voice of complaint was seldom heard: not one stone
remained upon another; only the bushes which surrounded it, and the
ruins of a little garden, the seat of secret communion of each with
their God in turn; for one little earth-floored place was all their
house-convenience, and in the winter's storm their little cow-house,
built under the same humble roof, was their secret temple. I found
three had gone to glory: of the other two I could learn no tidings;
but I shall see them one day in very different mansions. I saw others
spreading like a green bay-tree, adding field to field, and dwelling
alone, servants and dependents excepted.
"I saw my father's cottage, in the day when the Lord pressed
him down, and the place where my dear glorified-mother poured out
many prayers for me and mine; my own retirement too, after the
vanity I had seen of human life, and when tired and sick of it, I
sought to end my days in solitude, saying, 'It is enough; here let
thy servant depart in peace, and let my children be reared in
obscurity.' Then I returned to the town where my husband had
practised as a physician, where I had been respected and tasted
largely of life's comfort. I saw the house we had lived in, and many
tender scenes passed; to this same town I had returned a widow,
helpless and poor, neglected and forgotten. I saw the house where I
had taught my little school, and earned my porridge, potatoes, and
salt; when I found myself totally neglected by some who once thought
themselves honored by my acquaintance; while others, once shining in
affluence, were now reduced to humble dwellings.
"The Lord has been saying, 'Know and consider all the way by
which I have led thee, to prove thee, and try thee, to show thee what
was in thy heart, that he might do thee good in thy latter end.' He is
now saying, 'Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;'
'Occupy till I come.' Oh, for a thankful heart, a loving, a zealous
heart, a meek and humble heart. Oh, for diligence and steadiness in
the path of duty, a due sense of our own weakness and inability, of
the Lord's power and all-sufficiency, and firm faith in the same. Give
my love to ----, she is the Lord's: her heavenly Father mingles her
cup; not one unnecessary bitter drop shall be put into it; bid her
trust in the Lord; the time, the set time for deliverance shall come.
I can witness, with many thousands on earth, and an innumerable
company in heaven, that he is the best of masters. I have suffered
much, yet not one word of all that he has said has failed. I expect to
suffer more; but whatever bitter draughts may yet await me, I would
not give one drop of my heavenly Father's mixing for oceans of what
the world styles felicity.
"I. GRAHAM."
Under another date she adds:
"When we trace the tenderness of our Daysman's conduct through
the whole of his tabernacling here below, and add to this the many
gracious words which he spoke, and to these again what were spoken by
the disciples by his authority, can we refuse to cast all our burdens
on him, and to trust him with ourselves and them? You know how sweet
it is, in the time of tumultuous distress, when the spirit is
overwhelmed, when God's mercy seems clean gone for ever, and his
promise to fail, how sweet to get even a lean upon the Saviour; but
when he, as he does at times, takes the soul out of itself, and away
from forebodings, reasonings, and suppositions, to his own divine
attributes, and gives it a believing view of its interest in them all,
in his wisdom as unerring, his power as almighty, his goodness as
boundless, his faithfulness unchanging; when we add to these his
humanity, and consider that our High-priest was in all points tempted
as we are, yet without sin, and that he has a feeling for our
infirmities; when we find him listening to every petition--a widowed
mother for her son--the centurion for his servant--weeping with two
sisters over a brother's grave--embracing and blessing the little
children whom mothers, like you and me, pressed through the crowd, in
spite of the reprehensions of disciples, to present to him--accepting
the effusions of Magdalene's penitent heart with tender consolation, O
how near does this bring the Divinity to us, and how sweetly may we
confide in such tenderness. Oh my friend, He rests in his love. Let us
rest in our confidence. All shall be well."
When Dr. Witherspoon visited Scotland in the year 1785, he had
frequent conversations with Mrs. Graham on the subject of her removal
to America. She gave him at this time some reason to calculate on her
going thither as soon as her children should have completed the course
of education she had proposed for them. She had entertained a strong
partiality for America ever since her former residence there, and had
indulged a secret expectation of returning. It was her opinion, and
that of many pious people, that America was the country where the
church of Christ would preeminently flourish. She was therefore
desirous to leave her offspring there.
After some correspondence with Dr. Witherspoon, and consultation
with pious friends, her plan received the approbation of the latter;
and having had an invitation from many respectable characters in the
city of New York, with assurances of patronage and support, she
arranged her affairs for quitting Edinburgh. The Algerines being then
at war with the United States, her friends insisted on her chartering
a small British vessel to carry herself and family to the port of New
York. This increased her expenses; but Providence, in faithfulness and
mercy, sent her at this time a remittance from Dr. Henderson, the
young friend of Dr. Graham, who succeeded him as surgeon of the
regiment; and a legacy of two hundred pounds bequeathed her by Lady
Glenorchy, as a mark of her regard, was now of great use to her.
Thus in the month of July, 1789, Mrs. Graham once more prepared
_to go into a land which the Lord seemed to tell her of_.
The two following extracts from her private journal, indicate the
state of her mind and heart previous to leaving Edinburgh.
"EDINBURGH, March, 1789.
"Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and
let thy widows trust in me,' Jer. 49: 11; the Lord's promise, which he
made to me in the days of my widowhood, and which I have made the
subject of my prayers from day to day, taking the words in a spiritual
sense. The Lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day I was
left a widow with three orphans, and the fourth not born, in a strange
land, without money, at a distance from friends; or rather, without
friends. Hitherto he has supplied all my wants, and laid to hand every
necessary and many comforts; supporting character and credit, making a
way for me through the wilderness, pointing out my path, and settling
the bounds of my habitation.
"For all these blessings I desire to be grateful to the God of
providence, whose is the earth and the fulness thereof; but these I
cannot take as the substance of the promise; neither have they been
the chief matter of my prayers. The salvation and the life I have
wrestled for, is that which Christ died to purchase, and lives to
bestow--even spiritual life, and salvation from sin. My God knows I
have held fast this view of the words, seeking first the kingdom of
God for my children, leaving temporals to be given or withheld, as may
best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls. I
have not asked for them health, beauty, riches, honor, or temporal
life: God knows what share of these consists with their better
interests; let him give or withhold accordingly. One thing I have
asked of the Lord, one thing only, and will persist in asking, trust
in him for, and for which I think I have his promise--even the life of
their and my soul. 1 Thess. 5:23, is my petition for me and mine;
verse 24, my anchor of hope, preceded by Jeremiah 49:11."
"EDINBURGH, March 17, 1789.
"This day from the head of his own table did the Lord, by his
servant Mr. R----, proclaim his name the I AM, and called on me to
write under what I would, for time and eternity. My soul rejoices that
God is, and that he is what he is; nothing less than himself can
content me, nothing more do I desire.
"This great I AM is my portion--what can I ask beside? He hath
opened my eyes to see his excellency; he hath determined my will, to
choose him for my portion. He hath arranged and set in order a rich
testament sealed by the blood of his own Son, containing every
blessing for time and for eternity. All my heart's desire is there
promised, and faith given to believe there shall be a full
performance. What have I to say then, but, Amen, do as thou hast
said? Father, glorify thy name. Thou hast said, 'Then will I
sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean; from all your
filthiness and from all your idols will I cleanse you. A new heart
also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I
will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give
you a heart of flesh; and I will put my Spirit within you, and cause
you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments and do
them. And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers:
and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.' Amen; Lord, do
as thou hast said. Behold, I take hold of thy covenant for myself
and for my children. It is well ordered in all things, and it is
sure. My heart accords to every part of it. Wilt thou guide us by
thy counsel while we live, and afterwards receive us to thy glory?
Amen and amen--do as thou hast said.
"If we forsake thy laws, and go astray; if we depart from thee
and break thy commandments, wilt thou visit our faults with rods, and
our sins with chastisements. Blessed promise; amen, Lord, do as thou
hast said: seeing thy loving-kindness is secured to us, and thou wilt
not cast us off from being thy people, nor alter that which thou hast
spoken; wilt thou keep us as the apple of thine eye? wilt thou cover
us with the shadow of thy wing? Art thou my Husband? art thou the
Father of my fatherless children? wilt thou be the stay of these
orphans, and their and my shield in a strange land? wilt thou perfect
what concerns us? wilt thou care for us? wilt thou _never leave us,
never forsake us_? in the valley of the shadow of death shall thy
rod and staff support us? What can thy servant say but, Amen, do as
thou hast said."