explosive-manufacturer suitably named BURN-ARDOR, and which described
in detail the method to be followed in the contemplated struggle, the
minds of the Two-Tons were fully made up concerning the futility of
Nazarrano kindness, and the superiority of nature-morality. Indeed,
when the struggle came, even the Two-Ton division of the Social-Mist
sect, advocates of international cooperation and peace, compounders of
a cure for the dreadful nationality-mania, prophets of good-will to all
nations, but among whom the nature-view nevertheless largely prevailed,
suddenly lost their idealistic enthusiasm, and joined the ranks of the
nationality-maniacs, in order to make use of the explosives under the
command of the destruction-chiefs. Had these Social-Mists suddenly gone
mad? Why no, not suddenly. They simply felt their intimate relationship
to one of the Martian nations; and these nations had been mad for
centuries, and had not yet been brought back to sanity; that’s all.
True, in other countries the Darviniano philosophy had led to
conclusions of a different type. In Brittia a contemporary of
DARVINO, answering to the name of SPENSAIRO, had elaborately traced
the development of Martian social conditions from time immemorial to
date. And he showed that as the nations had advanced in civilization,
their pursuits and mental attitude had grown more and more peaceable.
He concluded that the martial spirit of destruction is a spirit of
barbaric savagery. Hence, cooperation among the various nations for
the good of all was the ideal toward which his conclusions pointed.
It is curious that this advocate of peace arose in a country that had
arrived at a position of foremost political importance, so that by this
nation no struggle for predominance with other nations was in the least
desired. It is just as curious that in Two-Tonia, which was actually
engaged in a mental struggle for supremacy, the rising philosophers
were advocates of the sanctity of power and the primordial struggle for
survival.
Indeed, the militaristic BURN-ARDOR previously referred to,
sarcastically pointed to this influence of political conditions upon
a nation’s philosophic views. He expressed the opinion that these
philosophers purposely proclaimed their conclusions for the benefit
of their own country. Our Martian informer, however, thought that
it was simply one of the subconscious elements that unwittingly
influence the thoughts of a nation and of its authors. As BURN-ARDOR
saw in this wholly unavoidable result the effect of nefarious
deep-low-matic selfishness, he even declared that, as between nation
and nation, neither virtue, nor honor, nor fairness was ever taken in
consideration. Yet, if it is bad for the members of a family to treat
one another without fair-minded loyalty, if it is morally despicable
for any family to treat the neighboring families dishonorably and
with malice or hidden unfair purposes, it is just as contemptible
for that larger aggregate of Martians, called a nation, to treat any
other nation unfairly or unscrupulously. BURN-ARDOR probably gave his
impression of things as he thought they were, and not as he thought
they ought to be.
When the TWO-TONIAN SUPREMACY WAR had at last become a dreadful
physical fact, a number of nations were involved in the titanic
struggle. Considering the jealousy with which the Brits had long
guarded their predominance, and the Two-Ton aspiration to supplant
them, one might have expected the Two-Tons to seek some deep-low-matic
excuse for engaging the Brits in a gigantic wrestling match. And
had they done so, the Martian world would probably have looked on,
impartial, and satisfied to see the best man win. But the struggle was
brought about in a very different manner.
One nation, in reality the only one with whom the Two-Tons entertained
intimate relations, was the group of Martians usually referred to as
the Ostrich-ans or AUSTRICH-ANS. They were so named, not because
the ostrich makes their country its habitat, for this bird never had
any such intention; not because they were wont, like the ostrich, to
hide their heads in the sand under the impression that they are thus
protected from an approaching enemy, for when they are compelled to
hide, they are wise enough not to hide their heads alone and leave
the rest of their frail bodies exposed: the name Austrich-ans was
given them because, like this famous bird, they were known for a
voracious and very varied appetite. They were in the habit of nibbling,
whenever they had a chance, at the neighboring territories known as
the Bally-Khan States. They had even at one time dipped their steel
forks into the plate of the EAT-ALL-IANS, a nation whose territory
also borders theirs. Nay, so typically were they renowned for their
everlasting appetite, that one prominent part of their country actually
bears the official name HUNG’RY! As the Two-Tons are reputed to serve
five meals a day, and as the Austrich-ans moreover speak the same
language as the Two-Tons, the friendship between these two nations was
ideal, and even caused them to dream of a delicious Pan-Two-Tonianism.
The nearest neighbors of these Austrich-ans were a much smaller tribe
which subsequently was referred to as the SERVERS, because they
served the Two-Tons apparently as a welcome excuse to start the
struggle. The Austrich-ans had no end of trouble with the Servers. The
nationality-mania between them had indeed developed to a state of very
dangerous acuteness. At last, in the country of the Servers, a crime
was committed of which an Austrich-an official was the victim. Now
in the Darvinized Nazarrano countries all crimes were dealt with by
law-courts instituted for this very purpose. And in case a foreigner
was the victim, the courts were wont to act with redoubled vigor; and
the country where the deed had been done would moreover make amends to
the country of which the victim had been a citizen, amends which were
made in various forms. Law-courts, in fact, are one of the first marks
of civilization on Mars. But the Austrich-ans were not satisfied to
treat this particular case in the ordinary legal way. They sent the
Servers a message demanding such amends as no nation had ever demanded
of any other. Their message of indignation was couched in terms, and
contained stipulations, to which no self-respecting nation, not even
the smallest, could in the eyes of the rest of the Martian world
honorably have submitted.
Now the Servers were one of a group of small nations, heretofore
referred to as the Bally-Khan States, and they had a powerful friend
and protector in the politically far more important nation of the
RUSH-NOTS. The Rush-Nots were named for the slowness of their national
progress. For many centuries there had been among the Nazarrano nations
a pronounced prejudice against the Heebrons, notwithstanding the fact
that NAZARRO Himself had been a Heebron and had followed the Heebron
faith. Heebrons were unscrupulously persecuted, robbed, tortured,
murdered, their possessions frequently confiscated, and they were
permitted to dwell only in special sections set aside for them. These
criminal proceedings had long ago been abolished in all the other
Nazarrano countries, but the Rush-Nots continued to indulge in these
sordid amusements of the long-forgotten past. In all other Nazarrano
countries, moreover, the power of the ruler had been limited by giving
his subjects a share in determining the laws that govern them. Among
the Rush-Nots the ruler still had absolute power over his subjects
as the rulers in other countries had had in the long-forgotten past.
So you can easily understand that in matters of progress and social
improvement they rushed not. Nevertheless, by means of bloodshed, the
Rush-Nots had acquired a goodly proportion of the crust of Mars. So
the Rush-Nots, being friends of the Bally-Khan nations to which group
the Servers belonged, parleyed with the Austrich-ans and told them
to treat the Servers more politely, and threatened that otherwise
they would be compelled to direct their engines of destruction very
impolitely against the Austrich-ans.
We have stated before that Brittia was desirous of permanent peace. So,
indeed, were the Rush-Nots, because they, too, had obtained more than
their due proportion of Martian territory. So, too, were the previously
mentioned Frank-Aulians or Fringe, who in fact had entered into an
intimate bond of friendship with the Rush-Nots. The Brits therefore, to
all appearances, did their best by means of dip-low-macy to avoid the
threatening war. But the Austrich-ans hurriedly commenced to make war
preparations; and when the Rush-Nots saw this, they followed suit.
Whether or not the Austrich-ans had acted all this time with
the secret approval of the great WILMOSTASH, or the Two-Ton
explosive-manufacturers, may forever be a question fit for debate.
Yet so much is certain that, at this momentous stage of the
international quarrel, WILMOSTASH peremptorily told the Rush-Nots to
turn their destructive apparatus back from the Austrich-an borders,
so that Austricha might do to the Servers whatever served the
Austrich-an-Two-Tonian interests best. The Rush-Nots told the mighty
WILMOSTASH to go to Halifax, a sort of meeting-place where it is
always hot to suffocation.
Did the Two-Tons thereupon at once attack the Rush-Nots? No, they
Did-not. Aware that the Fringe were an important factor in various
anti-Two-Tonian protective alliances, they anticipated that the
Fringe would beyond question actively side with the Rush-Nots. As a
consequence, you might have expected the Two-Tons to start a vigorous
campaign against the Rush-Nots, meanwhile heavily guarding their
borders against invasion by the Fringe. And in case the Fringe would
subsequently have grown too gay, the Two-Tons might then justly have
handled them in accordance with the rules dominating such international
pastimes. As their quarrel was with the Rush-Nots, this of course would
to all appearances have been the logical plan to follow. Yet, even this
plainly outlined course the Two-Tons Did-not take. Under the impression
that the Rush-Not armies are heavy and slow, and that the Fringe are
light and quick as lightning; convinced moreover that their chances
of victory lay in offensive action, and that a defensive attitude
might imperil their cause, the Two-Tons decided, before assailing the
Rush-Nots, first to attack the Fringe.
In explanation of the odd-sounding name of the latter nation,
let me state that the Frank-Aulians or Fringe are named for the
frankness with which they own and exhibit their vices as well as
their virtues. Aulians is sometimes spelled Owlians and evidently
refers to the fact that many of their great men are known to have been
night-owls. The shorter name Fringe is applied to them on account of
their artistic inclinations. Although they have contributed a goodly
share to Martian science, philosophy and the industries, their most
pronounced characteristic is that they are so eminently fond of profuse
decoration. They decorate their homes, their theatres, their churches,
and their minds. Thus they have decorated the Nazarrano-Darviniano form
of civilization with a harmoniously colored fringe of politeness, a bit
fuzzy, quite a bit inclined toward dip-low-matic deceit, but, all in
all, rather artistic.
When the Two-Tons had decided to attack the Fringe, did they cross that
part of their border that leads directly into the Fringe territory?
No, they Did-not. By George, king of the Brits, I am almost inclined
hereafter to call the Two-Tons the Did-Nots! Instead of this, they
decided to run their destructive engines across two small and perfectly
nootril countries, one known as Luxury-burgh, and the other inhabited
by a valiant little nation whose name is fast going down in Martian
history as the BELL-GIANTS. Their country contains all sorts of
beautiful old buildings and churches renowned all over Mars for their
marvelous bells and chimes; and small as be their number, they are,
nevertheless, known as the Giants, because in case of need they are
willing to undertake gigantic tasks, from which many another small
nation would shrink in fear. Accordingly, the Bell-Giants obstructed
the passage of the Two-Tons, and undertook a struggle in which they
were bound to be defeated.
And here comes a typical instance of Brit deep-low-macy. Because the
maniacal envy of nation toward nation had become unbearable even to
the deluded Martians, the nations had signed certain agreements for
the protection of what was called the buffer-countries, territories
whose neutrality was to be respected in case the bigger nations would
ever go to war. The Two-Tons had signed this agreement, and so had the
Brits. Now after the Brits had endeavored to prevent the war, they
published the letters and telegrams which they had exchanged for that
purpose with the various foreign dip-low-mats. From this correspondence
it appears that the Two-Tons had made an inquiry to find out whether
the Brits would look on unmoved or whether they would take a hand in
the upheaval, in case the Two-Tons were to start the international
cataclasm. In reply, the Brits carefully controlled their muscles and
said, they were not at all certain what they would do. May-be they were
at first indeed undecided. But then one of the Brit dip-low-mats asked
one of the medal-bearing chesty Two-Tons whether Two-Tonia would agree
not to annex any part of the Fringe territory. The Two-Ton replied that
Two-Tonia would positively refrain from any such glaring violation
of the Nazarrano precepts. Whereupon the Brit, who in the meantime
had telegraphed to his government, returned to the weighty Two-Ton
to ask whether his promise also held good for the Fringe _colonies_.
The Two-Ton smilingly remarked that even NAZARRO Himself could not
expect the virtue of the Two-Tons to carry them so far as to stoop
to so absurd a self-abnegation. And as the Brits were not anxious to
have a colonial competitor with habits so deep-digging as those of the
Two-Tons, the Brits undoubtedly made up their minds then and there not
to look on unmoved. So when the Two-Tons started to cross the territory
of the Bell-Giants and forced them to a hopeless self-defense, the
Brits rose in ire and made a noisy hallabaloo about the violation of
the neutrality treaty, and used this as an excuse to join the opponents
of the Two-Tons. Thus once again, they hid their selfishness behind a
rather transparent veneer of noble indignation and ideals.
And now the war is on, and an insensate pandemonium reigns in the
countries which we once looked upon as civilized. An amount of
energy is being wasted that, if properly applied, could have led to
the realization of many a wonderful social ideal, many a hope long
cherished by humanity in vain. An amount of wealth is being squandered
on destruction which, applied in conjunction with this vast amount
of energy, could have built castles of education beyond our present
dreams, institutes of mind-broadening influence upon all the suffering
human race. An amount of blood and life is being sacrificed, compared
to which the human sacrifices to the gods of yore dwindle into utter
insignificance. And all this for the vain-glory that some one nation
might harvest, by wantonly destroying the pride of existence, the
happiness, the strength, the life-blood of another. What the outcome of
this blind folly will be, no one, alas, as yet can tell.
Here came once more a pause of silence, and the Martian philosopher
thereupon entrusted to Professor FANSEE some further personal
confidences. The country I live in, he said, was discovered by an
enterprising traveler for whom many statues have been erected and who
is therefore popularly referred to as COLUMN-BUST. When he discovered
our country he exclaimed “Eureka!” which means in one of the dead
Martian languages: I have found it. As a result of this exclamation, my
country was called AM-EUREKA. I may say with pride, and with a humane
lack of prejudice entirely uninfluenced by the usual nationality-mania,
that my country is one of the few on Mars in which petty jealousy and
malice against other nations is totally unknown. Although the Nazarrano
and Darviniano faiths form a mechanical mixture among us just as among
other civilized nations, yet the Heebron and Nazarrano precepts are
beyond all else dear to us; not so much for their supposedly divine
origin, but far more so for their humane and beneficent character. We
are not double-faced, either nationally or internationally. In the
conduct of business as well as in our international relations we are
broadminded. When we say we are in favor of permanent peace, we mean
what we say, without hiding any selfish motives. When we say we are,
if need be, ready to fight for a noble cause, there is nothing in our
minds except this noble cause, and we have no by-thoughts to hide.
Now I was born on that hemisphere on which the struggle is now going
on, and to which we in Am-Eureka, owing to our strictly neutral
principles, nowadays refer as YOUR-ROPE. Am-Eureka became my country
by adoption; and in Your-Rope I had frequented artistic circles from
which I imbibed exceedingly lofty ideals, such as Art for Art’s sake,
Science for the sake of Science, the preference of other aims to
money-hunting, and so on. And not finding similar ideals catered to in
my adopted country, I personally had always considered the inhabitants
of Your-Rope as on a plane of civilization far higher than that reached
in Am-Eureka.
The drama at present being played in that hemisphere of so-called high
ideals has absolutely changed this point of view. The simple precepts
of NAZARRO and of the earlier Heebron teachers are the best that the
Martians can desire for their guidance. The brotherhood of nations and
the peaceable attitude of man toward man no matter on what part of
Mars he happens to have been born, is an ideal at least as inspiring
as Art for Art’s sake. The high flying and loudly proclaimed ideals
of Your-Rope are not the ideals of humanity at large. They are fitted
for but a small class of men who by these ideals are inspired toward
producing things of wonderful beauty, highly idealistic, but utterly
superfluous to human comfort and welfare. The peace-ideal of the
Am-Eurekans, unobtrusive, subconsciously active in their heart and
every-day actions, not claiming a sky-reaching mental superiority,
is not only fit for all Martians, young and old, high and low, able
and unable, hence also for those engaged in the production of useful
things needed in every-day life, but it is moreover an ideal which
would benefit all civilized countries and aid the further development
of science, industry, and mental as well as physical civilization.
Here the Martian philosopher seemed to have been interrupted. A few
minutes elapsed before the Zee-rays continued to do their interesting
work. My assistant remarks, he subsequently said, that Am-Eureka
itself but recently might have gone to war with a neighboring country
called MAKE-SICK-O, and that the Am-Eurekans actually sent a fleet to
WE’RE-ON-A-CRUISE. And indeed, such things may sometimes be necessary.
But our behavior in We’re-on-a-Cruise is typical of the difference
between Am-Eurekan and Your-Ropean warfare. When we Am-Eurekans
entered We’re-on-a-Cruise, there were snipers there who shot at us
from windows and housetops. One must expect these things on a campaign
of invasion. The private citizens naturally are your enemies as much
as are the uniformed soldiers. So, what did we do? We shot back at
them whenever it was unavoidable. Whenever possible, we arrested them.
We further saw to it that all citizens surrendered all weapons in
their possession. This work done, we started to improve the sanitary
conditions of the town. We made the town more comfortable to live in
than it had ever been under Make-sickan rule. On the other hand, it is
said of the Two-Tons that they conquered among others a town called
Low-Vein situated in the territory of the Bell-Giants. Quite naturally
they found snipers there. Did they meet the situation as humanely as we
had done? No, they Did-not. So passionately enraged were they, on the
contrary, at this inevitable discovery, that they burned, shelled, and
destroyed the larger part of the town and its inhabitants; and a town
this in which the very buildings were treasures of mediaeval art. After
this, further sanitary improvements were almost wholly superfluous.
No, even though circumstances may have compelled us to send that fleet,
even though similar circumstances may again compel us to similar acts,
and even though we may thus find ourselves some day engaged in bloody
war with some other nation, in our minds and in our breasts we bear
no malice toward either the Make-sickans or any other nation on all
our vast planet. We might fight, but the fight having been fought, we
would gladly shake hands, and feel sincerely sorry that we had been
drawn into a nasty quarrel. And this, without dip-low-macy, without
manipulation of the facial muscles, wholeheartedly, as befits a good
sport.
Separated as we are, by an expansive ocean, from the main seat of
nationality-mania, we look on unprejudiced, pitying deeply the Martians
who are forced to suffer by its fearful consequences, and doing what we
can to stay at least the starvation that might follow in the struggle’s
dreadful wake.
Nor do we take sides in this horrible calamity. Why call one madman a
fool and jolly the other madman by telling him that he is right? We,
on this side of the rocking pond, do not care a rap whether the Brits,
the Two-Tons, or any other nation attains to world-supremacy, provided
that, this supremacy reached, they shall not assume an overbearing
attitude or dictate to us how we are to conduct our business. We
Am-Eurekans do not aspire at supremacy. Our institutions are founded
on equality; and, indeed, equality and supremacy cannot easily be
made to harmonize. All we aspire to attain is what a clean-minded and
healthful development of our resources and intelligence may bring us in
the natural course of events. All we advise other nations is to be wise
enough not maliciously to interfere with this development.
Did the Two-Tons believe the Brits were maliciously interfering
with their natural growth? Then they should have gone straight for
the Brits, without starting a campaign against the Fringe or the
Rush-Nots, and without a destructive passage through a small country
that never had been accused of malicious interference. Were the Brits
under the impression that their natural development was maliciously
interfered with by the Two-Tons? Then they should have settled their
quarrel openly and directly with the Two-Tons, without waiting
deep-low-matically for a “noble” excuse that they all along expected
to be furnished them. We Am-Eurekans believe in a fair fight when a
fight cannot be avoided; stripped and without gloves if need be; but no
hitting below the belt.