WEDDINGS
THE CHURCH WEDDING
The bride and groom decide between them the church where they wish the
wedding to take place and the clergyman whom they wish to officiate.
When there is no religious difference between the couple the matter is
a very simple one and the church which the bride's family regularly
attends is the one chosen, but when he is of one faith and she of
another it may assume serious proportions. If neither is inclined to
yield gracefully the laws of etiquette decree that the groom should
give in, not only because chivalry demands it but also because the
wedding day by right and tradition belongs primarily to the bride.
The church should be decorated for the occasion but not with great
elaboration. Palms, ferns, and smilax, roses, lilies and other flowers
are appropriate. Ribbon also may be used effectively. White streamers
are sometimes used to mark off the seats which are to be occupied by
the relatives and intimate friends of the bride and groom, but there
are many people who do not like to indicate so definitely the lines of
demarcation among their guests.
Extravagance in any of the appointments of the wedding are in extremely
bad taste. It is sometimes well to remember the delightful logic of the
old lady who said that she did not dress better than she could afford
to at home because everybody knew her and there was no use trying to
impress them; and she did not dress better than she could afford when
she went to the city because nobody knew her and it did not make any
difference whether she impressed them or not. No set form of decoration
can be given, but magnificent ornamentation is out of place in a simple
chapel or church, and in every place profusion beyond one's means is
not only ill-bred but foolish.
ATTENDANTS
Among the Anglo-Saxons the custom of an impressive escort for the bride
had its origin. To-day it is a matter of choice, and the bride may have
as many or as few as she pleases. Her maid of honor is usually her
sister or her best friend and her bridesmaids are chosen from among
those who are dearest to her. The groom chooses the best man and the
bride and groom together select the ushers.
THE BRIDESMAIDS
Although the number of bridesmaids is entirely a matter of choice, it
is the fashion at an elaborate church wedding to have not less than
five nor more than ten. A maid or matron of honor, two little pages or
flower girls, and, if it is desired, a third child to bear the cushion
to the altar, completes the bridal train.
The bevy of bridesmaids consists of the bride's dearest friends. If she
has sisters, one of them, as well as one of the bridegroom's sisters,
must be included in her escort. For maid or matron of honor, the bride
selects a sister or intimate friend.
It is sometimes customary for the bride to provide the dresses of her
bridesmaids. This, however, is dependent upon circumstances and
conditions, and is not really essential. It is important, though, that
the bride visit each bridesmaid personally and request her services at
the wedding, unless she lives at some distance.
The bride, if the wedding is to be an elaborate one, may suggest to the
bridesmaids the kind of gowns she would like them to wear. The young
ladies may be trusted to follow her wishes implicitly. No one would
willingly mar a friend's wedding by appearing in a gown that does not
agree with the general plan. The gowns need not be identical; but the
colors must be the same, or at least harmonize. Light shades are always
the fashion for bridesmaids. White, of course, for the bride.
The bridesmaids should be invited many weeks before the wedding so that
they will have ample time for preparation. Nearly always the dress has
to be made, and this takes time.
It is customary for the bridesmaids to be dressed alike or very nearly
alike. The custom had its origin in primitive times when evil spirits
were supposed to attend wedding ceremonies and the bride and groom were
surrounded by friends of their own age and sex dressed similarly so
that the spirits could not single out the happy couple for their evil
designs. It is a far cry from that time to this, and the only reason
why the bridesmaids are dressed similarly now is because the effect is
so much prettier than could be attained by a miscellaneous array of
gowns, however beautiful each one in itself might be.
They carry flowers, either cut flowers or bouquets, but their bouquets
are never so elaborate as that carried by the bride. Usually they wear
a bit of jewelry which was presented by the groom. This, too, is a
curious survival of primitive marriage customs when the groom had to
capture the bride, and because she was fleet-footed and wild (or
perhaps because he was lazy), bribed her friends to lure her to the
place where he was waiting.
REHEARSALS
Elaborate weddings should always be rehearsed at least once beforehand.
In arranging these rehearsals the bride must have in mind the
convenience of her attendants, and by consulting them, should settle
upon a time that will be agreeable for the majority. The requests for
one's presence at a rehearsal may be made verbally or by notes.
Refreshments are usually served afterward at the home of the bride.
She must arrange for the opening of the church, and she should provide
a way for the young ladies who are at some distance to get there. The
details of the ceremony should be practiced until the whole thing can
be accomplished with ease and grace. Every possible effort must be made
to eliminate a stilted and wooden effect on the actual day of the
wedding.
REGARDING THE USHERS
At the rehearsal they should receive careful instructions (usually from
the clergyman), as a large part of the smoothness and charm of the
wedding ceremony depends upon their knowledge of the right thing to do
at the right time.
On the day of the wedding, they must be at the church at least an hour
before the scheduled time for the ceremony. It is part of their duty to
welcome the guests and escort them to their seats. An old custom was
for the usher to offer his right arm to a lady, and although it still
prevails, a more accepted form is for him to welcome each guest with a
smile, precede her down the aisle, and with a graceful indication,
direct her to her place.
Front seats should always be reserved for the relatives and most
intimate friends of both families. At most fashionable weddings, the
names of the people to receive these front seats are tabulated on cards
and given to the ushers. Another custom that is permissible is to mark
off the number of seats in front that are to be reserved with a white
ribbon, extending from aisle to aisle and terminating at the end seats
with pretty bows or festoons. This manner of reserving seats for the
"guests of honor" is not only effective, but is also decorative.
THE WEDDING DAY
June and October, because the weather is usually beautiful and flowers
are more abundant than at other times, are the favorite months for
brides, though there is not a single month out of the twelve that does
not see its full quota of elaborate weddings. During Lent there are
fewer than at any other time.
There is an old superstition which says that Friday is an unlucky day
for a wedding, but the prejudice that rose from it has so largely been
done away with that the only choice among the days of the week is that
which rises from the bride's personal convenience and desire.
A wedding may take place at any hour of the day. Morning weddings are
usually very simple. Elaborate ceremonies are usually performed at high
noon or in the evening while the wedding that is neither very simple
nor very elaborate (and this means most weddings) takes place in the
afternoon. In a great many instances the hour has to be arranged with
reference to the time the train on which the bride and groom expect to
leave departs.
ARRIVING AT THE CHURCH
The wedding party should arrive promptly at the church a few minutes
before the time mentioned for the ceremony. Few moments are more
tensely anxious than those in which a belated member of the wedding
party is awaited by the others. For this reason, it is always better to
assemble at the home of the bride rather than in the vestibule of the
church or elsewhere. Except the groom and best man, who await the
others in the vestry and the ushers who have gone on ahead an hour or
so earlier.
The bride's mother, the maid of honor and guests leave the home of the
bride first. They are followed by the bridesmaids. The last to leave
are the bride and her father.
The bride's mother is escorted to her place (the aisle seat of the
front pew on the left side) by the head usher. Those of her children
who have no part in the procession accompany her. The family of the
bridegroom are similarly conducted to their reserved place, the front
pew on the right side. As soon as the bridesmaids and the bridal party
arrive at the door of the church, the bridegroom is informed, and the
entire cortége assembles in the vestibule. The organist has previously
been informed as to what musical selections are to be played, and as
soon as he gets his cue, he strikes a chord--and while the mellow notes
of the organ peal forth (usually the beautiful tones of the
wedding-march from "Lohengrin") the doors at the foot of the aisle
slowly swing open.
WEDDING MUSIC
The bride usually enters on Lohengrin and goes out on Mendelssohn.
Throughout the ceremony, except when prayers are being said, there
should be soft music and the organ should continue to play until all
the guests have left the church, unless chimes are rung. In the event
that there are chimes they should begin to ring as soon as the bridal
party has left the church. The music for a church service may be very
stately and impressive. Besides the organ stringed instruments may be
employed and soloists or a choir may be asked to sing. Music is
especially pleasing during the time when the guests are waiting for the
wedding party to assemble.
The musical program in the home is not very different. A piano and one
or two stringed instruments furnish the instrumental music while
friends of the bride and groom may be requested to sing. These should
be rewarded by a gift from the groom. There is a wider choice in the
kind of music which may be used at the home wedding, for the beautiful
secular love songs which are out of place at the church are most
appropriate here.
THE WEDDING PROCESSION
The order of the wedding procession depends largely upon the number of
attendants. The following arrangement is frequently observed: The
ushers enter first, walking slowly down the aisle two by two. The
bridesmaids follow in the same manner, the maid of honor, who is
unattended, comes next, followed by the bride, who leans on the arm of
her father. Flower girls may precede the procession or they may walk
just in front of the bride and a page or pages may be added to the
group to bear the train of the bride's gown. The bride is always the
last to enter and she comes alone or with whoever is to give her away
at the altar.
As they reach the altar the ushers separate, one half moving to the
right, the other to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, and the maid
of honor steps to the left of the bride while she and her father
advance toward the space left at the foot of the altar for them. At
this point the groom and best man come forward and the bride slips her
hand from her father's arm and places it in the hand of the groom, who
leads her to the clergyman. Her father stands at her right.
THE CEREMONY
The ceremony is performed in accordance with the rites prescribed by
the religious belief of the young people who are about to be married.
The clergyman is the person to consult about any embarrassing
situations that might arise.
As the wedding ring is worn on the same finger that has previously worn
the engagement ring the bride usually removes the latter and places it
on the corresponding finger of the right hand. She may allow it to
remain there after the ceremony or she may place it on the same finger
with the wedding ring. It is allowable to leave the engagement ring in
place and slip the wedding ring on over it.
A word about the ring itself. Like many another of our practices to-day
its use is a survival from primitive times when women were chattels and
a man's wife was his property, his slave to do with as he pleased, and
the ring was of heavy iron, a sign of bondage. Not more than a decade
back the ring was too heavy to be comfortable on the finger, but now it
is a slender band of gold or platinum with or without scroll-work or
other ornamentation, as the wearer may desire. Its symbolism is very
beautiful. The precious metal is an emblem of the purity of the love
between a man and his wife and the circle itself is a symbol of
eternity.
Before entering the church the bride removes the glove from her left
hand and she may give it with her bouquet to the maid of honor to hold
during the ceremony. The practice of ripping one finger of the glove so
as to leave it bare for the ring is a very foolish one and has never
found favor among people of good breeding.
It is the part of the best man to look after the groom. His services
may be required in connection with many of the preliminary details of
the wedding even in the procuring of the license. At the wedding itself
he takes charge of the ring and the clergyman's fee, giving the former
to the groom just before the ceremony requires him to place it on the
bride's finger.
The bride's father remains directly behind her until the clergyman
asks, "Who giveth this woman to this man?" when he comes forward, takes
his daughter's hand, lays it in that of the groom, and says, "I do." He
then turns away and retires to the pew, where his wife is sitting.
LEAVING THE ALTAR
When the final blessing has been pronounced the bridal group may stand
at the altar for a while receiving their friends and then break up
informally, or the procession may leave the church in reverse order
from that in which they entered, the bride and groom walking first
together, followed by the best man and the maid of honor and the
bridesmaids and the ushers walking in pairs. The automobile of the
bride and groom should be waiting at the door to whisk them away to the
home of the bride, where preparations are made for the wedding journey.
THROWING THE BOUQUET
It is a pretty custom for the bride to throw her bouquet among the
bridesmaids (especially lovely when the wedding takes place at home and
the bride turns to throw the flowers as she mounts the stairs). It is a
happy omen for the young lady who catches the bouquet. She may divide
it among the others or she may keep it for herself. It is not
compulsory for the bride to part with the bouquet if she prefers to
keep it herself. She may press the flowers or she may have rose beads
made from the petals or she may dispose of it in any way she desires.
A well-known young society woman who was married recently in one of New
York's most exclusive churches, ordered all the flowers used in
decorations to be sent to a certain hospital to gladden the slowly
dragging hours of the sufferers. She has created a precedent that every
bride should be proud and happy to follow.
After all, the greatest happiness is in making others happy. The joy of
the wedding day will gain a new sweetness when a kind deed adds to its
pleasure. Rather let the sufferers in a hospital enjoy the colorful
fragrance of the flowers than permit them to wilt, forgotten, in the
church.
RICE, ETC.
Frequently a shower of rice follows the departing couple, and satin
slippers are thrown after the car. Care must be taken not to overdo
this ancient custom, for although it is considered good luck for one of
the satin slippers to alight on the top of the car, it is certainly bad
form to give the occasion any appearance whatsoever of vulgarity.
It is interesting to trace this custom back to its origin. Among the
ancient Egyptians and Hebrews a slipper or sandal was a symbol that
denoted an exchange of property. Women at that time were regarded as
property, and they were given in exchange for other property. Later we
find, in Anglo-Saxon marriages, that the bride's father delivers her
shoe to the bridegroom, who touches her on the head with it in token of
his ownership and authority. The custom prevailed, and still later we
find that the idea of good luck is associated with the throwing of
slippers at weddings. Rice and grain were combined with the ceremony of
throwing shoes, obviously indicating a plea to the deity of
Productiveness to bless the marriage with an abundant supply of
nature's bounties.
To-day the custom is still in vogue. Old satin slippers and handfuls of
rice are thrown after the departing couple. It would not be an
objectionable custom if some over-enthusiastic individuals did not
overdo it to the extent that it becomes almost riotous. After a solemn,
dignified, well-ordered wedding ceremony, and a charming reception, it
is nothing short of ridiculous to spoil it all by boisterously
overdoing an old tradition. The cultured person is always well-poised,
always calm--whether it be during the tense moments of the wedding-vow
utterances, or the half-glad, half-sad moments of seeing the happy pair
off.
THE WEDDING RECEPTION
Fashionable weddings, if not celebrated with a wedding breakfast, are
followed by a reception either in the afternoon or evening. All the
bridal attendants are present, and those relatives and friends who have
previously received invitations.
The reception takes place in the drawing room of the bride's home. The
room is decorated with flowers, and in the hall is a refreshment table
on which is punch, cakes and boxes containing favors for each of the
guests.
The bride and groom stand together under a floral bell and accept the
congratulations and good wishes of the guests. The bride's mother and
father are at the door of the drawing room to welcome them, and the
parents of the groom are also ready to receive and welcome the guests
as they arrive.
It is an important duty of the ushers, at the wedding reception, to
introduce to the bride all those guests whom she does not know. She
accepts their congratulations with a smile and a cordial word or two in
acknowledgment of the introduction.
THE WEDDING BREAKFAST
Wedding breakfasts, though an old English custom, are often held after
the church wedding. If it is decided upon, the guests to be invited
should be informed at least two weeks in advance. The occasion has all
the dignity and formality of a dinner party.
The bride and groom enter the dining room first. They are followed by
the bride's mother and the groom's father, and the groom's mother and
the bride's father. The bridesmaids and ushers are always invited to
the wedding breakfast, and they follow immediately after the parents of
the happy couple. The precedence of the other invited guests is
arranged by the mother of the bride.
The menu at a wedding breakfast is never elaborate. Consommée or
bouillon, salads, birds, ices, jellies and bonbons are the usual order.
Coffee and dainty cakes are served last. The wedding cake, if one is
served at all, is set before the bride.
The bride gives one-and-one-half to two hours to her guests at the
wedding breakfast. Then she retires to her room, accompanied by the
maid of honor and her most intimate friends among the bridesmaids; and
when she appears again she is in traveling costume. The groom has also
retired to change his clothes, and he meets the bride at the foot of
the stairs. The motor is at the door in readiness, and after the last
whispered good-bys, warm handclasps and hasty kisses--the bride and
groom are off!
THE WEDDING PRESENT
The custom of giving wedding presents dates from away back in Dutch
history when the relatives and friends of the bride and groom took upon
themselves the responsibility of furnishing the new household.
Great taste and discrimination should be exercised in the selecting of
gifts and they should be sent early. Two months before the wedding is
not too soon. It is wise for the friends whenever possible to consult
each other so that they will not duplicate gifts. If most of the
silver, etc., is gotten from the same jeweler he is a great help in
selecting something that is not only appropriate in itself but in
harmony with the other gifts.
Anyone who receives an invitation may send the bride a gift, though it
is not absolutely necessary to respond to the invitation in this way.
To the question: "What shall the gift be?" the answer is the prettiest
and most useful article within one's means. China and silver are always
appropriate, and cut glass, linen, books, and even checks or gold
pieces are most acceptable.
There is a slight prejudice against giving money as a present at a
wedding or at any other time, but one has only to see the joy that the
bride and groom get out of spending the money over and over again
before they finally do spend it to have this prejudice dispelled.
Silver and linen are usually marked with the initials of the bride,
more often than not with the initials of her maiden name. If there is
any doubt as to which she prefers and one is not able to find out
indirectly, it is permissible to ask her.
Gifts should always be accompanied by the cards of the donors, but
these should be removed when they are placed on display.
ACKNOWLEDGING WEDDING PRESENTS
It is not sufficient merely to keep the cards which accompany the
wedding gifts but there must be some system by which the bride can
remember which gift each one accompanied. She may indicate this on the
card itself or she may keep a list of the names of the donors with the
names of the gifts opposite, but she _must_ be absolutely sure that she
is thanking the right person.
[Illustration: © Brown Bros.
CHURCH DECORATED FOR A FORMAL WEDDING]
If the honeymoon is to be only two weeks or thereabouts the bride may
wait until her return to thank her friends, but if it is to be of long
duration she should write the notes of acknowledgment as soon as she
finds it convenient to do so. These personal notes--and a personal note
is the only proper way to thank one for a wedding present--are usually
written by the bride, but she should always be careful to introduce her
husband's name unless the gift was a very intimate one for her alone.
The following note is a graceful way for both husband and wife to
express their gratitude:
_July 1, 1921._
_Dear Rosalind:_
_George and I both wish to thank you for the lovely picture. When
we return from Atlantic City we shall hang it in our living room
where all of our friends can enjoy it with us. We hope that you
will be among the first to visit us in our new home._
_Very sincerely yours,_
_Annie Beard Hill._
Sometimes the groom receives personal gifts from friends of his. To
these he writes notes of thanks in his own name.
THE HOME WEDDING
Home weddings can often be made as impressive as church weddings. With
correct decorations the most spacious rooms in the bride's house can be
transformed into an interior as lovely as the interior of a beautifully
decorated church.
For instance, at a fashionable home wedding, held recently, the drawing
room was decorated with massive floral wreaths and clusters of palms. A
huge bell of flowers hung in the center of the room, and a canopy of
flowers, occupying one corner, simulated a chapel. The effect was
altogether delightful.
Only close relatives and friends should be invited to the home wedding.
The bridegroom does not enter the home of the bride until a half hour
before the ceremony begins, and when he does arrive, he and his best
man do not mingle with the other guests but retire to an adjoining room
provided for them. The clergyman also retires to this room when he
arrives, and it is here that he dons his official robe. The three
remain until it is announced that the bride is ready to enter the
drawing room.
The bride's mother, assisted by her husband, receives the guests. It is
not considered good form to begin the ceremony until they have all
arrived. Then, when everything is in readiness, the bride is met at the
head of the stairs by her father, and is conducted by him to the
entrance of the room. Usually there is no elaborate wedding procession,
and even in the most fashionable home wedding there is often only a
maid or matron of honor to precede the bride. There are rarely more
than half a dozen bridesmaids at most. The order of precedence is
similar to that of the church wedding; the clergyman performs the
ceremony under a floral canopy, and when it is completed, he steps
aside and the newly married couple take his place to receive the
congratulations and good wishes of the guests.
The wedding breakfast or reception proceeds immediately upon the
conclusion of the ceremony. Everyone present is a guest; and everyone
present attends the reception.
THE SECOND WEDDING
When a woman marries for the second time, her wedding should be very
conservative. Elaborate ceremonies would, indeed, be out of place.
However, the more important conditions of the ceremony are followed
very much along the same lines.
White is for the girl-bride only. The woman who marries for the second
time indulges in none of the age-old customs that the first bride does.
She does not wear a white veil; she does not carry orange blossoms; she
does not have flower girls or pages or bridesmaids. The more
inconspicuous the second wedding is, the more it is in accordance with
the rules of etiquette.
The bride-for-the-second-time may have a maid of honor only on one
occasion. If she has a church wedding and invites numerous guests, she
may have a maid of honor to precede her to the altar. As in the first
wedding, her father gives her away. Her family assumes all
responsibility for the expenses involved unless she prefers to do so
herself. If a reception is given after the ceremony, the same order of
precedence is followed as after the first wedding; the reception may be
held either in the home of the bride's parents, or in her own home.
If married in church, there are none of the elaborate decorations that
characterize the first bridal, although flowers are always acceptable.
Especially if the second ceremony takes place only a short time after
the mourning period for the first husband, any conspicuous display is
in very bad taste.
SOME IMPORTANT CONVENTIONS
It is customary for a widow to remove the engagement ring and wedding
ring of her first husband before the day of her second wedding. The
sight of them cannot be in any way pleasant to her new husband, and
they may be a source of sorrowful memory to her. It is best to discard
them as soon as the second marriage is decided upon.
There has always been some doubt as to whether or not the family of the
second-bride's first husband should be invited to her wedding.
Absolutely. There is no reason why they should be ignored, any more
than any of the other friends and acquaintances of the bride. In fact,
she owes them a special courtesy, and if they accept the invitation,
they must be treated with the kindest attention and courtesy. They must
always occupy seats below the white ribbon, if the wedding is held at
church. If there is for any reason dissension or disagreement between
her and her first husband's family, she will not of course invite them.
But that may only be an individual case; the general rule is to invite
them and treat them with the utmost consideration.
Gifts at the second wedding will not be as elaborate as those at the
first wedding. However, each gift must be acknowledged with a cordial
note of thanks. In fact, all the etiquette of the first wedding is
observed, except that it is on a much simpler scale.
As for the man who marries for the second time, he, too, follows the
original dictates of wedding etiquette, and eliminates only the
farewell bachelor dinner. Here also the ceremony and reception is on a
considerably less extravagant style.
SEEKING ADVICE
The girl or woman who is about to be married can always get helpful
suggestions from her friends who have been married or have witnessed
fashionable weddings. The minister in charge is especially qualified to
give you a great deal of important advice, and one should never
hesitate to consult him. In his official capacity he has doubtless
served at many weddings, many of them well-nigh perfect, some of them
marred by the very blunders that he can teach you to avoid.
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES
There is something strangely beautiful and poetic in the celebration of
a wedding anniversary. It arouses slumbering sentiments and mellows old
memories into a throbbing happiness. Here are the wedding anniversaries
that are usually celebrated in our better society:
The Paper Wedding--first year.
The Wooden Wedding--fifth year.
The Tin Wedding--tenth year.
The Leather Wedding--twelfth year.
The Crystal Wedding--fifteenth year.
The China Wedding--twentieth year.
The Silver Wedding--twenty-fifth year.
The Ivory Wedding--thirtieth year.
The Woolen Wedding--fortieth year.
The Silk Wedding--forty-fifth year.
The Golden Wedding--fiftieth year.
The Diamond Wedding--seventy-fifth year.
Although many families celebrate all of these anniversaries, it is more
generally the fashion to disregard all those that come before the
quarter-century mark. The first anniversary to be celebrated is usually
the silver wedding. The most favored way of doing this is to have a
dinner party or a reception. Sometimes, especially when there are young
unmarried daughters, a dance is given and a dinner follows later.
THE SILVER WEDDING
Cards for the silver wedding reception should be printed on white or
silver-gray paper. They may be printed in silver or black. They may be
worded in the usual "at home" form, or may be in this form:
_Mr. and Mrs. S. Brown
request the pleasure of ............'s presence
at the dinner reception of their
Silver Wedding
on Tuesday, June the fourteenth
at seven o'clock
1897 1922_
If an invitation like the one above is issued, the guests will
undoubtedly send beautiful gifts of silver--unless, as is often the
case, it is requested in the invitation that no gifts be presented.
Sometimes, in fact, the bride and groom of twenty-five years
commemorate their silver wedding by themselves, sending handsome gifts
of silver to those who started out in married life at about the same
time that they did, but who have not been materially so fortunate.
THE RECEPTION
If a reception celebrates the silver wedding, the husband assists his
wife in receiving. Often the occasion begins at the precise hour at
which the marriage took place; but usually the preferred time is in the
late afternoon or evening. The "bridal couple" should make an effort to
have as many as the original party of bridal attendants present as
possible. It will be interesting for the best man and the maid of honor
to have a little chat together after twenty-five years.
The husband leads the way to the dining room with his wife on his arm,
and she sits at the right of him at the table. If the historic wedding
cake is included in the collation, it is placed before the bride, just
as it was twenty-five years ago. The table decorations should be white
and silver, with a touch of green.
The menu will be the regular formal dinner menu, served and garnished
with a regard for decorative effect. Speeches are in order, and a toast
is usually proposed for the couple. The husband responds with a little
speech in which he honors his wife, and she acknowledges with a smile
that is in itself sufficient eloquence for the occasion. Tiny silver
favors, packed neatly in small white boxes and tied with silver ribbon
are effective novelties at the silver wedding.
TIN AND WOODEN WEDDINGS
A general frolic is in order at the tin wedding. It is rarely
celebrated, in fact, unless the ten-year-married husband and wife wish
to gather together all their old friends and have a jolly good time.
Gifts are usually in the form of tin kitchen utensils, tin
candle-sticks, tin fans, tin ornaments--even tin tables and chairs are
offered as gifts to celebrate the tenth anniversary. A dinner, very
much like the ordinary informal dinner except for the additional "tin"
celebrations, follows the reception.
Wooden weddings are not very often held, although some very fashionable
ones are recorded in the annals of social history. Rolling-pins,
step-ladders, and wooden kitchen utensils cause much merriment when
presented as gifts, and the occasion is generally one of much pleasant
raillery. Wooden ornaments make very appropriate gifts for this
wedding, and a bit of wood artistically carved is always welcome to the
five-year bride who loves pretty things for the home.
THE GOLDEN WEDDING
To have lived fifty years together, to have shared for fifty years each
other's sorrows, joys and hopes, is to have enjoyed one of the greatest
gifts life has to offer. It is an occasion well worthy of the most
elaborate celebration.
A golden wedding has a touch of the romantic, a touch of the
sentimental about it. Poets like to write about it; people like to
dream about it. When it becomes a reality, all the world likes to
watch--and wonder. It is a solemn and dignified event and should be
treated as an occasion of the utmost importance.
The couple should issue pure white cards engraved in gold, announcing
the celebration of the fiftieth anniversary of their wedding day. It is
touching to have the maid of honor and the best man present, if they
are both still living. As many of the original bridal attendants as are
available should be invited, and all the old friends and acquaintances
of the family. There must be no levity, the couple must be treated with
reverence and honor, and the occasion must be given every appearance of
dignified importance.
Unlike the silver wedding, gifts are always presented to the aged
couple at the golden wedding. Delicate pieces of gold jewelry are
always pleasing to the "bride." The "groom" may be presented with gold
shirt-studs, cuff-links or rings. Gold services, gold chased cups,
golden goblets and golden candle sticks are most appropriate.
The dinner should be elaborate. A huge wedding cake, inscribed with a
frosting of the surnames and wedding date of the couple is worthy of
holding the place of honor in the center of the table. Once again the
"bride" enjoys the privilege of being the first to cut the cake--and in
or with each slice that is given to the guests there should be some
little golden token, a ring or thimble or tiny jewel box. If this is
too costly, a golden flower such as a daffodil may be placed on each
plate.
A beautiful and touching sentiment to be observed on the golden wedding
is for the bride to wear something from her wedding day. Perhaps it is
a treasured bit of the bridal veil. Perhaps it is a fan, or a pair of
gloves, or even the wedding dress itself. She also carries a bouquet of
white flowers--as she did fifty years ago on her first wedding day.
THE GOLDEN WEDDING A GLORIOUS ACHIEVEMENT
Beautiful indeed is the celebration of the golden wedding. With her
children and grandchildren and friends grouped around her, with her
husband at her side, doing her every honor he might pay a newly-won
bride, the bride of fifty years can be naught but inexpressibly
happy--though memories of lost youth rise constantly to haunt her. It
is glorious--this reaching fifty years of married life--and any couple
may well be proud to commemorate its occasion.
And, after all, isn't it happiness that makes life worth while? Of what
use is wealth and power and position if we cannot have the ones we
love, the ones who love us? The man and woman who have lived together
in happy companionship for fifty years have more in their love of each
other than the man who has lived alone for fifty years and amassed
tremendous riches.