CHAPTER XV

Lydia stopped for a moment in the hall, after closing the door behind

her, to pull herself together for the ordeal that was still to come.

She was trembling; a weakness had assailed her. She had left Yvonne's

presence in a dazed, unsettled condition of mind.

There was a lapse of some kind that she could neither account for nor

describe even to herself. She tried to put it into seconds and minutes,

and then realised that it was not a matter to be reckoned as time. Yet

there had been a distinct, unmistakable gap in her existence. Something

had stopped--she knew not for how long--and then she had found herself

breathing, thinking once more. In spite of the conviction that she had

passed through a period of utter oblivion, she could account for every

second of time with an absolute clearness of memory.

There was not an instant, nor a sensation, nor an impulse that was not

fully recorded in her alert brain. She remembered everything; she could

have described every emotion; and yet she felt that there had been a

period of complete absence, as real as it was improbable.

She felt now as she always felt after sipping champagne--in a warm glow

of intoxication. She was drunk with the scent that filled her nostrils,

the scent that lay on her lips, that lived and breathed with her. Her

heart was throbbing rapidly, as if earnestly seeking to regain the beats

that it had lost.

Suddenly there came to her an impulse to go back and lay bare before

Yvonne all of the wretched story that had fallen from the lips of James

Brood the night before. She conceived the strange notion that Yvonne

alone could avert the disaster, that she could be depended upon to save

Frederic from the blow that seemed so sure to fall. She even went so far

as to turn toward the door and to take a step in its direction.

Then came the revolt against the impulse. Was it fair to Frederic? Had

she the right to reveal this ugly thing to one whose sympathies might,

after all, be opposed to the wife who had preceded her in James Brood's

affections--the wife who had been first in his heart, and whose memory,

for all she knew, might still be a worthy adversary even in this day of

apparent supremacy?

What right had she to conclude that this woman would take up the cause

of Frederic's mother and jeopardise her own position by seeking to

put her husband in the wrong in that unhappy affair of long ago? Would

Yvonne do this for Frederic? Would she do all this for Frederic's

mother?

Lydia turned away and went slowly toward the stairs, despising herself

for the thought. The black velvet coat that formed a part of her trig

suit hung limply in her hand, dragging along the floor as she moved with

hesitating steps in the direction of James Brood's study. A sickening

estimate of her own strength of purpose confronted her. She was suddenly

afraid of the man who had always been her friend. Somehow she felt that

he would turn upon and rend her, this man who had always been gentle and

considerate--and who had killed things!

She found herself at last standing stock-still at the bottom of the

steps, looking upward, trying to concentrate all of her determination on

what now appeared to her to be an undertaking of the utmost daring, as

one who risks everything in an encounter in the dark.

Ranjab appeared at the head of the stairs. She waited for his signal to

ascend, somehow feeling that Brood had sent him forth to summon her. Her

hand sought the stair-rail and gripped it tightly. Her lips parted in

a stiff smile. Now she knew that she was turning coward, that she longed

to put off the meeting until to-morrow--_to-morrow!_

The Hindu came down the stairs, quickly, noiselessly.

“The master say to come to-morrow, to-morrow as usual,” he said, as he

paused above her on the steps.

“It--it must be to-day,” she said doggedly, even as the chill of relief

shot through her.

“To-morrow,” said the man. His eyes were kindly inquiring. “_Sahib_ say

you are to rest.” There was a pause. “To-morrow will not be too late.”

She started. Had he read the thought that was in her mind?

“Thank you, Ranjab,” she said, after a moment of indecision. “I will

come to-morrow.”

Then she slunk downstairs and out of the house, convinced that she had

failed Frederic in his hour of greatest need, that to-morrow would be

too late.

Frederic did not come in for dinner until after his father and Yvonne

had gone from the house. He did not inquire for them, but instructed

Jones to say to the old gentlemen that he would be pleased to dine with

them if they could allow him the time to “change.” He also told Jones to

open a single bottle of champagne and to place three glasses.

“If you please, sir, Mrs Brood has given strict orders----”

“That's all right, Jones. She won't mind for to-night. We expect to

drink the health of the bride, Jones.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That is to say, _my_ bride.”

“Your bride, Mr Frederic?”

“I'm going to be married.”

“Bless my soul, sir!”

“You seem surprised.”

“Ahem! I should 'ave said, 'God be praised,' sir.”

“Now that I think of it, don't mention it to Mr Dawes and Mr Riggs. Let

me make the announcement, Jones.”

“Certainly, sir. It is most confidential, of course. Bless my--I mean to

say, Golden Seal, sir?”

“Any old thing, Jones.”

“May I offer my congratulations, Mr Frederic? Thank you, sir. Ahem!

Aw--ahem! Anyways soon, sir?”

“Very soon, Jones.”

“Bless--very good, sir. Of course, if I may be so bold as to inquire,

sir, it's--it's--ahem?”

“Certainly, Jones. Who else could it be?”

“To be sure, sir, it _couldn't_ be anyone else. Thank you, sir. Yes,

sir. She is the finest young lady in this 'ere world, Mr Frederic.

You did say Golden Seal, Cliquot, ninety-eight, sir? It's the best in

the 'ouse, sir, quite the best at present.”

Later on Frederic made his announcement to the old men. In the fever of

an excitement that caused him to forget that Lydia might be entitled to

some voice in the matter, he deliberately committed her to the project

that had become a fixed thing in his mind the instant he set foot in the

house and found it empty--oh, so empty!

Jones's practised hand shook slightly as he poured the wine. The old men

drank rather noisily. They, too, were excited. Mr Riggs smacked his lips

and squinted at the chandelier, as if trying to decide upon the vintage,

but in reality doing his best to keep from coughing up the wine that had

gone the wrong way in a moment of profound paralysis.

“The best news I've heard since Judas died,” said Mr Dawes manfully.

“Fill 'em up again, Jones. I want to propose the health of Mrs Brood.”

“The future Mrs Brood,” hissed Mr Riggs wheezily, glaring at his

comrade. “Ass!”

“I'm not married yet, Mr Dawes,” explained Frederic, grinning.

“Makes no difference,” said Mr Dawes stoutly. “Far as I'm concerned, you

are. We'll be the first to drink to Lydia Brood! The first to call her

by that name, gentlemen. God bless her!”

“God bless her!” shouted Mr Riggs.

“God bless her!” echoed Frederic, and they drained their glasses to

Lydia Brood.

“Jones, open another bottle,” commanded Mr Dawes loftily.

Frederic shook his head, and two faces fell. Right bravely, however,

the old men maintained a joyous interest in the occasion. They expounded

loudly upon the virtues and graces of John Desmond's daughter; they

plied the young man with questions and harangued him with advice; they

threatened him with hell-fire if he ever gave the girl a minute of

unhappiness; they were very firm in their contention that he “oughtn't

to let the grass grow under his feet,” not for an instant! In the

end they waxed tearful. It was quite too much joy to be borne with

equanimity.

The young man turned moody, thoughtful; the unwonted exhilaration died

as suddenly as it had come into existence. A shadow crossed his vision

and he followed it with his thoughts. The gabbling of the old men

irritated him as the makeshift feast of celebration grew old, and he

made no pretence of keeping up his end of the conversation.

The gloomy, uneasy look deepened in his face. It was a farce, after all,

this attempt to glorify an impulse conceived in desperation. A sense of

utter loneliness came over him with a swiftness that sickened,

nauseated him. The food was flat to his taste; he could not eat.

Self-commiseration stifled him. He suddenly realised that he had never

been so lonely, so unhappy, in all his life as he was at this moment.

His thoughts were of his father. A vast, inexplicable longing possessed

his soul--a longing for the affection of this man who was never tender,

who stood afar off and was lonely, too. He could not understand this

astounding change of feeling. He had never felt just this way before.

There had been times--and many--when his heart was sore with longing,

but they were of other days, childhood days. To-night he could not crush

out the thought of how ineffably happy, how peaceful life would be if

his father were to lay his hands upon his shoulders and say: “My son,

I love you--I love you dearly.” There would be no more lonely days; all

that was bitter in his life would be swept away in the twinkling of an

eye; the world would be full of joy for him and for Lydia.

If anyone had told him an hour earlier that he would have been possessed

of such emotions as these he could have sneered in the face of him. When

he entered the house that evening he was full of resentment toward

his father and sullen with the remains of an ugly rage. And now to be

actually craving the affection of the man who humbled him, even in

the presence of servants. It was unbelievable. He could not understand

himself. A wonderful, compelling tenderness filled his heart. He longed

to throw himself at his father's feet and crave his pardon for the

harsh, vengeful thoughts he had spent upon him in those black hours. He

hungered for a word of kindness or of understanding on which he could

feed his starving soul. He wanted his father's love. He wanted, more

than anything else in the world, to love his father.

Lydia slipped out of his mind, Yvonne was set aside in that immortal

moment. He had not thought of them except in their relation to a

completed state of happiness for his father. Indistinctly he recognised

them as essentials.

In the library, later on, he smoked with the old men, moodily staring

up through the blue clouds into a space that seemed limitless. The

expression of pain, and the self-pity that attended it, increased in his

eyes. The old men rambled on, but he scarcely heard them. They wrangled,

and he was not impatient with them. He was lonely. He felt deserted,

forsaken. The sweet companionship of the day just closing stood for

naught in this hour of a deeper longing. He wanted to hear his father

say, from his heart: “Frederic, my son, here is my hand. It is no longer

against you.”

Aye, he was lonely. The house was as bleak as the steppes of Siberia.

He longed for companionship, friendship, kindness, and suddenly in the

midst of it all he leaped to his feet.

“I'm going out, gentlemen,” he exclaimed, breaking in upon an

unappreciated tale that Mr Riggs was relating at some length and with

considerable fierceness in view of the fact that Mr Dawes had pulled him

up rather sharply once or twice in a matter of inaccuracies. “Excuse me,

please.”

He left them gaping with astonishment and dashed out into the hall for

his coat and hat. Even then he had no definite notion as to what his

next move would be, save that he was going out--somewhere, anywhere;

he did not care. All the time he was employed in getting into his light

overcoat his eyes were fixed on the front door, and in his heart was the

strange, indescribable hope that it would open to admit his father,

who, thinking of him in his loneliness and moved by a suddenly aroused

feeling of love, had abandoned an evening of selfish pleasure in order

to spend it with him.

And if his father should walk in, with eagerness in his long unfriendly

eyes, what joy it would be for him to rush up to him and cry out:

“Father, let's be happy! Let's make each other happy!”

Somehow, as he rushed down the front steps with the cool night air

blowing in his face, there surged up within him a strong, overpowering

sense of filial duty. It was his duty to make the first advances. It

was for him to pave the way to peace and happiness. Something vague but

disturbing tormented him with the fear that his father faced a great

peril and that his own place was beside him and not against him, as he

had been for all these illy directed years. He could not put it away

from him, this thought that his father was in danger--in danger of

something that was not physical, something from which, with all his

valour, he had no adequate form of defence.

At the corner he paused, checked by an irresistible impulse to look

backward at the house he had just left. To his surprise there was a

light in the drawing-room windows facing the street. The shade in one of

them had been thrown wide open and a stream of light flared out across

the sidewalk.

Standing in this stream of light was the figure of a man. Slowly, as if

drawn by a force he could not resist, the young man retraced his steps

until he stood directly in front of the window. A questioning smile was

on his lips. He was looking up into Ranjab's shadowy, unsmiling face,

dimly visible in the glow from the distant street-lamp. For a long time

they stared at each other, no sign of recognition passing between them.

The Hindu's face was as rigid, as emotionless as if carved out of stone;

his eyes were unwavering. Frederic could see them, even in the shadows.

He had the queer feeling that, though the man gave no sign, he had

something he wanted to say to him, that he was actually calling to him

to come back into the house.

Undecided, the man outside took several halting steps toward the

doorway, his gaze still fixed on the face in the window. Then he broke

the spell. It was a notion on his part, he argued, If he had been

wanted, his father's servant would have beckoned to him. He would not

have stood there like a graven image, staring out into the night.

Having convinced himself of this, Frederic wheeled and swung off up the

street once more, walking rapidly, as one who is pursued. Turning,

he waved his hand at the man in the window. He received no response.

Farther off, he looked back once more. The Hindu still was there. Long

after he was out of sight of the house he cast frequent glances over

his shoulder, as if still expecting to see the lighted window and its

occupant.

Blocks away, in his hurried, aimless flight, he slackened his pace and

began to wonder whither he was going. He had no objective point in mind.

He was drifting. His footsteps lagged and he looked about him for marks

of locality. Union Square lay behind him, and beyond, across Eighteenth

Street, was the Third Avenue Elevated. He had not meant to come in this

direction. It was not his mind alone that wandered.

As he made his way back to Broadway, somewhat hazily bent on following

that thoroughfare up to the district where the night glittered and the

stars were shamed, he began turning over in his mind a queer notion

that had just suggested itself to him, filtering through the maze of

uncertainty in which he had been floundering. It occurred to him that

he had been mawkishly sentimental in respect to his father. He was

seriously impressed by the feelings that had mastered him, but he

found himself ridiculing the idea that his father stood in peril of any

description. And suddenly, out of no particular trend of thought,

groped the sly, persistent suspicion that he had not been altogether

responsible for the sensations of an hour ago. Some outside influence

had moulded his emotions, some cunning brain had been doing his thinking

for him!

Then came the sharp recollection of that motionless, commanding figure

in the lighted window, and his own puzzling behaviour on the side-walk

outside. He recalled his impression that someone has called out to

him just before he turned to look up at the window. It was all quite

preposterous, he kept on saying over and over again to himself, and yet

he could not shake off the uncanny feeling.

Like a shot there flashed into his brain the startling question: was

Ranjab the solution? Was it Ranjab's mind and not his own that had moved

him to such tender resolves? Could such a condition be possible? Was

there such a thing as mind control?

He laughed aloud, and was startled by the sound of his own voice. The

idea was preposterous! Such a thing could not have been possible. They

were his own thoughts, his own emotions, coming from his own brain, his

own heart.

An hour later Frederic approached the box-office of the theatre

mentioned by Yvonne over the telephone that morning. The play was

half over and the house was sold out. He bought a ticket of admission,

however, and lined up with others who were content to stand at the back

to witness the play.

He had walked past the theatre three or four times before finally making

up his mind to enter, and even then his intentions were not quite clear.

He only knew that he was consciously committing an act that he was

ashamed of, an act so inexcusable that his face burned as he thought of

the struggle he had had with himself up to the moment he stood at the

box-office window.

Inside the theatre he leaned weakly against the railing at the back

of the auditorium and wiped his brow. What was it that had dragged him

there against his will, in direct opposition to his dogged determination

to shun the place? The curtain was up, the house was still, save for the

occasional coughing of those who succumb to a habit that can neither be

helped nor explained.

There were people moving on the stage, but Frederic had no eyes for

them. He was seeking in the darkness for the two figures that he knew

were somewhere in the big, tense throng.

Hundreds of backs confronted him, no faces. A sensation not far removed

from stealth took possession of him. His searching eyes were furtive

in their quest. If he had been lonely before, he was doubly so now.

The very presence of the multitude filled him with a sickening sense of

emptiness. He was friendless there, with all those contented backs for

company. Not one among them all had a thought for him, not one turned

so much as an inch from the engrossing scene that held them in its grip.

Straight, immovable, unresponsive backs--nothing but backs!

Again he asked of himself, why was he there? And he pitied himself so

vastly that his throat contracted as with pain. His soul sickened. The

truth was being revealed to him as he stood there and with aching eyes

searched throughout the serried rows of backs. It came home to him

all of a sudden that his quest was a gleaming white back and a small,

exquisitely poised head crowned with black.

With a sharp execration, a word of disgust for himself, he tore himself

away from the railing and rushed toward the doors. At the same instant

a tremendous burst of applause filled the house and he whirled just in

time to see the curtain descending. Curiously interested, he paused near

the door, his gaze fixed on the great velvet wall that rose and fell

at least a half-dozen times in response to the clamour of the delighted

crowd.

The backs all at once seemed to become animated and friendly. He drew

near the last row of seats again and stared at the actor and the actress

who came out to take the “curtain-call”--stared as if at something he

had never seen before.

And they had been up there all the time, developing the splendid climax

that had drawn people out of their seats, that had put life into all

those insufferable backs.

The lights went up and the house was bright. Men began scurrying up

the aisles. Here and there broad, black backs rose up in the centre of

sections and moved tortuously toward the aisles. Pretty soon, when the

theatre was dark again and the curtain up, they would return, politely

hiss something about being sorry or “Don't get up, please,” and even

more tortuously move into their places, completing once more the sullen,

arrogant row of backs.

Frederic experienced a sudden shock of dismay. It was not at all

unlikely that his father would be among those heading for the lobby,

although the chance was remote. His father was the peculiar type of

gentleman, now almost extinct, that subsists without fresh air quite

as long as the lady who sits in the seat beside him. He was a

bit old-fashioned for a New Yorker, no doubt, but he was rather

distinguished for his good manners. In fact, he was almost unique. He

would not leave Yvonne between the acts, Frederic was quite sure. In

spite of this, the young man discreetly hid himself behind two stalwart

figures and watched the aisles with alert, shifty eyes.

Presently the exodus was over and the danger past. He moved up to the

railing again and resumed his eager scrutiny of the throng. He could not

find them. At first he was conscious of disappointment, then he gave way

to an absurd rage. Yvonne had misled him, she had deceived him--aye,

she had _lied_ to him. They were not in the audience, they had not even

contemplated coming to this theatre. He had been tricked, deliberately

tricked.

No doubt they were seated in some other place of amusement, serenely

enjoying themselves.

The thought of it maddened him. And then, just as he was on the point of

tearing out of the house, he saw them, and the blood rushed to his head

so violently that he was almost blinded.

He caught sight of his father far down in front, and then the dark,

half-obscured head of Yvonne. He could not see their faces, but there

was no mistaking them for anyone else. He only marvelled that he had not

seen them before, even in the semi-darkness. They now appeared to be the

only people in the theatre; he could see no one else.

James Brood's fine, aristocratic head was turned slightly toward his

wife, who, as Frederic observed after changing his position to one of

better advantage, apparently was relating something amusing to him.

They undoubtedly were enjoying themselves. Once more the great,

almost suffocating wave of tenderness for his father swept over him,

mysteriously as before and as convincing. He experienced a sudden,

inexplicable feeling of pity for the strong, virile man who had never

revealed the slightest symptoms of pity for him. The same curious desire

to put his hands on his father's shoulders and tell him that all was

well with them came over him again.

Involuntarily he glanced over his shoulder, and the fear was in his

heart that somewhere in the shifting throng his gaze would light upon

the face of Ranjab.

Long and intently his searching gaze went through the crowd, seeking

the remote corners and shadows of the foyer, and a deep breath of relief

escaped him when it became evident that the Hindu was not there. He had,

in a measure, proved his own cause; his emotions were genuinely his own

and not the outgrowth of an influence for good exercised over him by the

Brahmin.

He began what he was pleased to term a systematic analysis of his

emotions covering the entire evening, all the while regarding the couple

in the orchestra chairs with a gaze unswerving in its fidelity to the

sensation that now controlled him--a sensation of impending peril.

All at once he slunk farther back into the shadow, a guilty flush

mounting to his cheek. Yvonne had turned and was staring rather fixedly

in his direction. Despite the knowledge that he was quite completely

concealed by the intervening group of loungers, he sustained a distinct

shock. He had the uncanny feeling that she was looking directly into his

eyes. She had turned abruptly, as if someone had called out to attract

her attention and she had obeyed the sudden impulse. A moment later her

calmly impersonal gaze swept on, taking the sections to her right and

the balcony, and then went back to her husband's face.

Frederic was many minutes in recovering from the effects of the queer

shock he had received. He could not get it out of his head that she

knew he was there, that she actually turned in answer to the call of his

mind. She had not searched for him; on the contrary, she directed her

gaze instantly to the spot where he stood concealed.

Actuated by a certain sense of guilt, he decided to leave the theatre as

soon as the curtain went up on the next act, which was to be the last.

Instead of doing so, however, he lingered to the end of the play, secure

in his conscienceless espionage. It had come to him that if he met them

in front of the theatre as they came out he could invite them to join

him at supper in one of the near-by restaurants. The idea pleased him.

He coddled it until it became a sensation.

When James Brood and his wife reached the side-walk they found him

there, directly in their path as they wedged their way to the curb to

await the automobile. He was smiling frankly, wistfully. There was an

honest gladness in his fine, boyish face and an eager light in his eyes.

He no longer had the sense of guilt in his soul. It had been a passing

qualm, and he felt regenerated for having experienced it, even so

briefly. Somehow it had purged his soul of the one longing doubt as to

the sincerity of his impulses.

“Hello!” he said, planting himself squarely in front of them.

There was a momentary tableau. He was vividly aware of the fact that

Yvonne had shrunk back in alarm and that a swift look of fear leaped

into her surprised eyes. She drew closer to Brood's side--or was it the

jostling of the crowd that made it seem to be so? He realised then that

she had not seen him in the theatre. Her surprise was genuine. It was

not much short of consternation, a fact that he realised with a sudden

sinking of the heart.

Then his eyes went quickly to his father's face. James Brood was

regarding him with a cold, significant smile, as one who understands and

despises.

“They told me you were here,” faltered Frederic, the words rushing

hurriedly through his lips, “and I thought we might run in somewhere

and have a bite to eat. I--I want to tell you about Lydia and myself and

what------”

The carriage-man bawled a number in his ear and jerked open the door of

a limousine that had pulled up to the curb.

Without a word James Brood handed his wife into the car and then turned

to the chauffeur.

“Home,” he said, and, without so much as a glance at Frederic, stepped

inside. The door was slammed and the car slid out into the maelstrom.

Yvonne had sunk back into a corner, huddled down as if suddenly deprived

of all her strength. Frederic saw her face as the car moved away. She

was staring at him with wide-open, reproachful eyes, as if to say: “Oh,

what have you done? What a fool you are!”

For a second or two he stood

as if petrified, then everything turned red before him, a wicked red

that blinded him. He staggered, as if from a blow in the face.

“My God!” slipped from his stiff lips, and tears leaped to his

eyes--tears of supreme mortification. Like a beaten dog he slunk away,

feeling himself pierced by the pitying gaze of every mortal in the

street.

Black is White · 第 15 / 24 章