_Story of a Seance at Stud Between Two Oregon Contractors and the Close
Finish Thereof._
"Somehow or another, I don't like the game of stud," said a Government
contractor from Portland, Ore. "It's too much of a strain to play stud.
There are too many heart-breaking and headache-producing possibilities
attached to the mysterious card the other fellow has got in the hole.
I'd rather take the chance of guessing what all of his five cards are
than to engage in the perspiring business of trying to figure out the
horrible possible value of the one blind card, especially if the four
cards he has exposed are capable of being amplified into a hand of the
topper kind by the addition of that bit of pasteboard in the pit. I
can't get away from the impression that it's like putting all of your
money in one bet to play stud. Now, there's a good deal to the game of
draw besides mere bluffing. In fact, bluffing is almost an obsolete
feature of the game among the experts at draw poker. The man that plays
his hand in draw will beat the bluffer every time in
year-in-and-year-out play.
"The folks out my way had the stud-poker fad pretty badly about eight or
ten years ago, but now they've got back to their first love and stick
pretty generally to the game of California draw--which, by the way, is a
whole lot different game from the draw you people back here play. For
example, a man sprung a thing on me last night that he called a pat
straight. I had three aces, but he said his pat straight topped me, and
as he had his gang with him, I had to look pleasant and let him rake in
the money. If a man out on the Slope were to talk pat straight to a
party of aborigines, they'd conduct him to the Alcalde's calaboose and
have him locked up to await a commission's decision as to his
responsibility.
"But to get back to the period when the stud-poker fad got hold of us
out in Oregon. I was a witness of a heart-disease finish of a game of
that kind a few years back that caused me to decide that ordinary draw
was good enough for my money right along. It was right after the big
fire that ate up the best part of The Dalles eight years ago. As soon as
the building contractors of Portland got word to the effect that The
Dalles was being licked up by the flames, they hopped aboard trains and
made for The Dalles with an eye to business. They knew that The Dalles,
which was chiefly a wooden layout before the fire, would be immediately
rebuilt in brick and stone, and that the contractors who got on the
scene of ruin first would scoop in the bulk of the business. Two of
these contractors were--well, I'll have to side-step on their names, for
they're two of the most prominent citizens out on the banks of the
Willamette, and both of 'em walk up the middle aisle on Sunday as if
they never heard of such a thing as stud poker. Both of them are
Irishmen, which is why neither of 'em could see that he was licked on
this occasion.
"One of them, we'll say, was Dan Carmody, and the other was Tim Feeney.
Carmody got into The Dalles a few hours ahead of Feeney, and he made
those few hours count. He went around to the business men of The Dalles
who had been wiped out by the fire and asked them what they wanted with
him. They hadn't burned the wires up telegraphing for Carmody to come to
them, but Carmody about convinced them that they had done just this
thing, and he began making estimates for 'em with pencil and pad. He
corralled them in the one remaining hall of the town and told them to go
ahead and just let him know what they wanted of him. Carmody's cyclonic
nerve appealed to their fancy, and they found themselves juggling with
the figures Carmody was putting down on his pad. Three hours after
Carmody struck The Dalles from Portland he had in his inside coat pocket
rough drafts of contracts to build a new stone business block, including
a theater, and also to erect a large, ornate hotel, the cost of both
buildings to be not more than $350,000. Oh, Carmody was a hustler all
right.
"He had an idea that his friend and business rival, Tom Feeney, would be
down on the next train from Portland, and he went to the station to
receive him. Sure enough, Feeney stepped off the next incoming train.
Carmody had his thumbs in the armholes of his waistcoat and a big cigar
stuck aggravatingly in his teeth when Feeney ran into him. Feeney's jaw
fell.
"'When did you get in, Dan?' he asked Carmody.
"'Three hours ago,' replied Dan, with a grin.
"Feeney made a funny motion, as if to jump aboard a train that was just
pulling out for Portland, but he came back to his cheerful rival and
asked him:
"'Anything doing, Dan?'
"Carmody executed two very shifty jig steps in token of his happiness,
and then reassumed his dignity.
"'Well, I'll tell you how it is, Tim,' he said. 'These people here are
pretty badly chewed up, y' see. Now, maybe they'll be wanting to rebuild
a few chicken coops and outhouses--I don't know but what they will. Now,
there's a chance for you, Tim.'
"Feeney didn't look very merry over this. Says he: 'Chicken coops, is
it? And who's going to throw up the new business building and the opera
house, and the hotel, and the like?'
"Carmody was laying for that question. He drew the two rough contracts
out of his pocket.
"' Looks as if I'm It over here, don't it, Tim?' he asked Feeney, as the
latter read over the two contracts with a gloomy countenance. 'Nice
work, hey? That's what you get for monkeying around in bed all the
morning, Tim. Why don't you be like me, now? I never go to bed,' etc.
Carmody couldn't refrain from working that nice edge of his, and strung
the dismal-faced Feeney for keeps. Feeney finally walked away, the
picture of dejection, to see if there were any crumbs to be picked up in
the way of rebuilding. He found, however, that all of the business men
that had not already been got by Carmody were disposed to wait awhile
for the disposition of insurance, and he didn't get a smell of the
rebuilding. He walked around the still-smoking Dalles for the remainder
of the day, figuring on how much Carmody was going to make out of his
two big contracts. Carmody himself started in to open wine by way of
celebration, so that by the time the night boat for Portland was ready
to leave her slip he was pretty comfortable. Both he and Feeney took the
night boat and I happened to be going down to Portland on the boat
myself that night. Feeney had taken the bowl himself a bit during the
day to assuage his depression over his lack of success, and he was
pretty mellow when the boat pulled out. Carmody, with about a dozen
quarts under his belt, dug Feeney up as soon as he got aboard, and the
two walked up and down the main deck, arm in arm, Carmody keeping up his
merciless stringing of his friend. Then Carmody heard the clatter of the
chips in a $10 limit game of stud that had already started in the
card-room, and suggested a two-handed game of stud to Feeney, with some
accommodating non-player to deal the cards. Feeney was agreeable, and
Carmody, seeing that I wasn't mixing up with the game in the card-room,
asked me if I wouldn't dish 'em out for an hour or so of stud between
himself and Feeney. It was to be $100 limit and $10 ante. The two men
didn't get up to the $100 limit at all until after they had played for
half an hour, and Carmody was $600 or $700 winner. Then Feeney found
himself with kings up on tens in front of him and a card that he either
liked or elected to bluff on in the hole, while Carmody had three aces
face up and a card in the hole that he appeared to think a heap of,
judging from the way he bet.
"'These kings of mine,' said Feeney, with the transparent air of a man
making a win-out bluff, 'may not look very pretty alongside those three
bullets of yours, Carmody, but they suit me, at that. You can have a
peep at the blind for $100.'
"'I wouldn't think of paying so little money for the privilege of gazing
at such a good card as you think you've got, Tim,' said Carmody. 'Now,
having already got you beat on the show-up, I guess I can afford to
charge you another $100 for a glimpse of the other one-spot that I've
got in the pit.'
"This kind of talk went on for ten minutes, the two men raising each
other back at $100 a clip until there was $3800 in the pot. Feeney
talked and acted like a bluffer all the time, but nevertheless Carmody
began to suspect that, after all, Tim might have something in the hole
to beat him. So when Carmody called Feeney's last $100 raise the latter
knew that his friend with the contracts in his pocket didn't have any
four aces, and he just scooped in the pot before he showed up what he
had in the hole. It was the third king, completing a nice full hand,
that Feeney had in the hole, and the money was his. Carmody turned up a
deuce, that he had tried to make the bluff was another ace, and looked
properly crestfallen.
"'For a Mulligan that knows so little about business as you, Tim,' said
Carmody, 'you've got a mighty crafty way about you of making it appear
that you're bluffing. We'll try it again, and from now on I'll know that
when you look and talk like you're bluffing you've got the hand.'
"Both men had been ringing up the steward's boy a good deal, during the
progress of the game, and they were not, therefore, any more sober than
was necessary. On the very next hand Feeney took a big hunk out of his
rival. He had three deuces face up and Carmody had three jacks on top.
Feeney began to bet $100 with so much natty confidence that Carmody
decided that his compatriot was adopting new tactics in bluffing, and,
quite naturally, with his three nice-looking jacks plainly in sight, he
not only stood every raise but raised back the limit every time.
"'I figure it this way,' said Carmody, abstractedly to himself, when
there was nigh onto $4000 in chips in the center of the baize. 'This
Harp from Connemara across the table can't turn two of these tricks one
right after the other. The percentage of the game is against such a
thing as that. And he's just perky and sassy because he thinks I'm on to
his first exhibited system of bluffing. Tim, another $100, if you want
to feast your Mulligan blue eyes on this other knave of mine in the
hole.'
"'And $100,' said Feeney, with all the confidence in life.
"Thus they went on for fully fifteen minutes, until the proportions of
the pot were really alarming, considering that neither of the men was a
millionaire or anything like it. There was $7200 in the middle of the
table when Carmody wilted. He attempted to put his wilt on philanthropic
grounds.
"'With a drink or two in you, Tim,' he said, 'you're an incautious and
unwise citizen for a man humping along toward 60 years of age'--Feeney
wasn't more than 48, and didn't look that. 'And Mrs. Feeney's been
telling my wife for the past twelve years that she's aching to have a
look at the old sod, but that her man Tim considers himself too poor for
the journey. So I won't be the means of casting gloom around your
household, Tim. I see your $100, and what's the color of that cheap ten
or eight spot you've got in the hole?'
"Feeney turned over his fourth deuce and hauled down the money. That
sort o' took Carmody's nerve and he had to have several big drinks of
the hard stuff to set him right again. While he was drinking Feeney took
up the end of the stringing that Carmody had abandoned.
"'How much do you figure you'll pull down from those two contracts,
Dan?' he asked his rival in business.
"'About $75,000,' answered Carmody quickly, 'which is just about $75,000
more than The Dalles fire has been worth to you, eh, Tim?'
"'What's the use of depleting the capital that you've already got in
bank?' asked Feeney, with a twinkle in his eye. 'Just play me stud for
those contracts. I'll say they're worth $60,000, and I'm good for that
if I'm good for a cent.'
"Carmody studied for a moment. He was already out $11,000 in this poker
game, and he wanted that money back. The idea of playing his contracts
against Feeney's hard cash rather appealed to his imagination, which was
not less active on account of the huge quantity of stuff he had been
drinking.
"'Well, I'll tell you what I'll do to give you a start in life, Tim,'
said Carmody finally. 'You've got my checks for $11,000. Supposing you
call those two contracts worth $70,000, return me those checks for
$11,000, and say that the two contracts I've got in my pocket are worth
$59,000 as they stand. Then I'll give you a chance to take as big a fall
out of the contracts as you think you can.'
"That idea suited Feeney to a T, and I stood by to begin dealing again.
The two contracts were pushed into the center of the table by Carmody,
and it was an additional part of my business, besides dealing, to make
note of the changing value of the contracts as the game progressed.
"Well, the game continued to go Feeney's way, and Carmody just looked at
his contracts as Feeney began to edge them nearer and nearer to his end
of the table. Carmody, while he figured that the contracts were so much
velvet, didn't look happy when Feeney picked $12,000 more out of them,
leaving their value to Dan only an approximate $47,000, but he played on
in the hope of better luck. Finally a queer hand came around. Carmody
caught two queens, an eight and a seven. So did Feeney. This thing made
Carmody mad.
"'Of all the niggering out I ever saw,' he exclaimed, 'this is the
worst. But it's about time I had the best of it when it comes to pure
bull-head luck.'
"So he bet the limit that he had a better card in the hole than Feeney.
Feeney came back at him every clip, and when I interposed a remonstrance
over the heftiness of the game, expressing the opinion that both of them
would probably be sorry they had gone into the thing so heavily when the
gray dawn came around, they said they knew they'd be sorry, and went
right ahead.
"'This is surely the hottest case of a stand-off in a deal in stud that
I've seen yet,' said Feeney, 'and I shouldn't be surprised if we had to
split the pot when the show-down comes. But I'm as good as you, Carmody,
on the four that show, and I'm with you all night if you're going to
keep it up that long.'
"When my tab of the shifting value of the contracts showed that
Carmody's interest therein was only an even $30,000, Carmody looked up
at the ceiling of the card-room and reflected.
"'Here,' he said, 'is where I get my contracts back and break even, or
where I have to go into partnership with a slow-witted Irishman on those
buildings at The Dalles. Feeney, I call you.'
"Feeney turned over a six spot. Carmody's card in the hole was a five.
Feeney was the possessor of a half interest in Carmody's fine contracts
at The Dalles, and that's how it happened that these two builders, who
had always gone it singly and alone, built up The Dalles in partnership.
They got along so well together at The Dalles work that three years
later they went into a general contracting partnership and they've been
getting rich ever since. But it was their stud game on The Dalles boat
that induced me to conclude that old-fashioned draw was good enough for
me."