AUGUSTUS. Nor I with you. Out with you.
He seizes the clerk: and rushes him through the door. The moment the
lady is left alone, she snatches a sheet of official paper from the
stationery rack: folds it so that it resembles the list; compares the
two to see that they look exactly alike: whips the list into her wallet:
and substitutes the facsimile for it. Then she listens for the return of
Augustus. A crash is heard, as of the clerk falling downstairs.
Augustus returns and is about to close the door when the voice of the
clerk is heard from below.
THE CLERK. I'll have the law of you for this, I will.
AUGUSTUS [shouting down to him]. There's no more law for you, you
scoundrel. You're a soldier now. [He shuts the door and comes to the
lady.] Thank heaven, the war has given us the upper hand of these
fellows at last. Excuse my violence; but discipline is absolutely
necessary in dealing with the lower middle classes.
THE LADY. Serve the insolent creature right! Look I have found you a
beautiful envelope for the list, an unmistakable lady's envelope. [She
puts the sham list into her envelope and hands it to him.]
AUGUSTUS. Excellent. Really very clever of you. [Slyly.] Come: would you
like to have a peep at the list [beginning to take the blank paper from
the envelope]?
THE LADY [on the brink of detection]. No no. Oh, please, no.