"A painter must that poet be
And lay with brightest hues his palette
Who'd be the bard of Croquet'rie
And sing the joys of hoop and mallet.
"Given a level lawn in June
And six or eight, enthusiastic,
Who never miss their hoops, or spoon,
And are on duffers most sarcastic;
"Given the girl whom you adore--
And given, too, that she's your side on,
Given a game that's not soon o'er,
And ne'er a bore the lawn espied on;
"Given a claret cup as cool
As simple Wenham Ice can make it,
Given a code whose every rule
Is so defined that none can break it;
"Given a very fragrant weed--
Given she doesn't mind your smoking,
Given the players take no heed
And most discreetly keep from joking;
"Given all these, and I proclaim,
Be fortune friendly or capricious,
Whether you win or lose the game,
You'll find that croquet is delicious."