From my own Apartment, November 11.
I had several hints and advertisements from unknown hands, that some,
who are enemies to my labours, design to demand the fashionable way
of satisfaction for the disturbance my Lucubrations have given them. I
confess, as things now stand, I do not know how to deny such inviters,
and am preparing myself accordingly. I have bought pumps and foils,
and am every morning practising in my chamber. My neighbour, the
dancing-master, has demanded of me why I take this liberty, since
I would not allow it him? but I answered, "His was an act of an
indifferent nature, and mine of necessity." My late treatises against
duels have so far disobliged the fraternity of the noble science of
defence, that I can get none of them to show me so much as one pass. I
am, therefore, obliged to learn by book; and have accordingly several
volumes, wherein all the postures are exactly delineated. I must confess
I am shy of letting people see me at this exercise, because of my
flannel waistcoat, and my spectacles, which I am forced to fix on, the
better to observe the posture of the enemy.
I have upon my chamber-walls drawn at full length the figures of all
sorts of men, from eight foot to three foot two inches. Within this
height, I take it, that all the fighting men of Great Britain are
comprehended. But, as I push, I make allowances for my being of a lank
and spare body, and have chalked out in every figure my own dimensions:
for I scorn to rob any man of his life, or to take advantage of his
breadth: therefore, I press purely in a line down from his nose,
and take no more of him to assault than he has of me: for, to speak
impartially, if a lean fellow wounds a fat one in any part to the right
or left, whether it be in carte or in tierce, beyond the dimensions of
the said lean fellow's own breadth, I take it to be murder, and such a
murder as is below a gentleman to commit. As I am spare, I am also very
tall, and behave myself with relation to that advantage with the same
punctilio; and I am ready to stoop or stand, according to the stature of
my adversary. I must confess I have had great success this morning, and
have hit every figure round the room in a mortal part, without receiving
the least hurt, except a little scratch by falling on my face, in
pushing at one at the lower end of my chamber; but I recovered so quick,
and jumped so nimbly into my guard, that, if he had been alive, he could
not have hurt me. It is confessed I have writ against duels with some
warmth; but in all my discourses I have not ever said that I knew how a
gentleman could avoid a duel if he were provoked to it; and since that
custom is now become a law, I know nothing but the legislative power,
with new animadversions upon it, can put us in a capacity of denying
challenges, though we are afterwards hanged for it. But, no more of
this at present. As things stand, I shall put up no more affronts; and I
shall be so far from taking ill words, that I will not take ill looks.
I therefore, warn all hot young fellows not to look hereafter more
terrible than their neighbours: for, if they stare at me with their hats
cocked higher than other people, I will not bear it. Nay, I give warning
to all people in general to look kindly at me, for I will bear no
frowns, even from ladies; and if any woman pretends to look scornfully
at me, I shall demand satisfaction of the next of kin of the masculine
gender.