THE TWO MYSTERIOUS DOMINOS.
_Peter Dodd makes another proposal--Carnival time at Boulogne--The
scene in the supper-room--"All's well that ends well."_
While I am about it I may as well relate to you another of the scrapes
into which I was led by the volatile but good-natured Peter Dodd. It
was not a question of making or losing money this journey, but the
peace of two families which was threatened. When you learn the surprise
that was so carefully planned for us, you will admit that most people
similarly situated would have lost their heads and blundered. We were
fortunate enough to understand the delicate position in a moment, and
were consequently able to smooth down in a very short time the ruffled
plumes of our two dominos.
What promised at first to furnish matter for two cases in the Divorce
Court, ended in a rather riotous supper. I know that I had to take a
long walk on the Boulogne sands next day before I could get rid of a
violent headache--the effects of too much sweet champagne. He does not
mean it I am sure, but it is a strange thing that a fatality attaches
itself to all the propositions of Peter Dodd.
The jokes about the "infallible system" had all been let off, and
my ears were no longer greeted with the "going, going, gone," of an
auctioneer, when Peter came in with his tempting proposal to me.
"Jack," he said, his eyes beaming with the anticipated pleasure, "I'm
going to treat myself to a little holiday."
"Well, Peter, you have my permission; take care of yourself. Remember
you have given hostages to fortune," I replied.
"It is too bad of you to be always reminding me that I am married, as
if that fact is not ever patent to me; just as if a certain young lady
would permit me to forget it."
"I would not have mentioned the pleasant bond, you may be assured,
without a good reason."
"Stuff and nonsense! What reason?"
"You have not been so long married, and already I begin to notice a
return of some of your former levity. You have commenced to give back
with interest the glances of a pretty girl as of yore. What was that
you were whispering to the brunette you met at Regent Circus last
Friday--no appointment? Fie, Peter, what would your charming little
woman say?"
"She would go mad with jealousy. She is bad enough as it is."
"She loves you immensely, Peter, and you ought to prize such affection.
I hope you will enjoy yourselves."
"But I am not taking Clara with me."
My reply was not delivered in words, it was whistled. This form of
answer evidently did not please Peter.
"You are always lecturing me," he said hotly. "Suppose I turn round and
ask your wife how she enjoyed herself in that private box at the Gaiety
the other night, what would you say? The plaintiff is expected to come
into court with clean hands."
"Relations from the country must be shown a little attention."
"Especially when they are young and pretty."
"Not a drawback, certainly. I am older than you, Peter, and if the
advice is not palatable, don't swallow it. Knowing your quicksilver
nature, I ventured to turn on the danger signal. I shall not stand idly
by with my hands in my pockets and see that nice little woman of yours
neglected."
"It is ridiculous to talk of neglect. But because a man happens to
get married does it follow that he should be tied to his wife's
apron-strings for the rest of his natural life. In my opinion an
occasional absence has a salutary effect, and brightens up the old
love."
"I daresay that even the devil himself can find some plausible argument
for his conduct. Go your own way, Peter. I only hope that the motive
power for this freak is not a lady. You do not usually go away to enjoy
yourself when the snow is on the ground."
"There is no lady at all in the case. The sole reason is that I want to
see the carnival, and as Boulogne is about the nearest place I am going
there. Won't you join me?"
"Not possible, I fear. I ought to have run across last autumn. A man
there owes me a hundred pounds."
"Why not arrange to come. Kill two birds with one stone. Enjoy the
carnival, draw your money. Away only three days."
"The 'copy' might be got ready," I answered, "by a night's sitting. But
there is another obstacle."
"I have made up my mind to take you with me, so you must manage it
somehow. What is the other difficulty?"
Before answering, I took the precaution of opening the door to see
whether we were favoured with a listener. Although there was nobody
visible I heard the sound of retreating footsteps, which made me a
little suspicious.
"That's it," said Peter, pointing with his thumb over his right
shoulder.
"Yes," I replied; "don't talk loud. What excuse could I give? What have
you said? That you are going to masquerade at a carnival ball?"
"Not likely. I am depending on you for a satisfactory reason."
"As usual. To begin with, it will not do to tell our wives we are going
to France."
"Not at all. One of the papers would be sure to do a gushing article on
the frolics of the carnival, and we should be found out and settled."
"Do you transact any business with Liverpool?" I asked.
"Sometimes. I see your drift."
"Well, we can pretend to go there, you to see a merchant, and I to
forward the interests of the _Clarion_."
So it was agreed, and this piece of deception was carefully arranged
and duly carried out. My better half was unusually complaisant when
I told her my intentions, and even went so far as to say I had been
working too hard, and the change would do me good. She was glad, she
added, that my great friend, Peter Dodd, was accompanying me; he would
prevent me feeling dull. She was so very kind in the matter, asking
whether the theatres were good at Liverpool, and how I would dispose of
my evenings; I felt quite guilty at deceiving her. "You had better take
your dress clothes," she said; "you never know what may happen. You
might be asked out to dinner."
Declining the proposals of our wives to see us safely in the train for
Liverpool, Peter Dodd and I took a cab to Charing Cross Railway Station
and booked to Boulogne-sur-Mer. I at one time had my suspicions that
my "better half" was not without a knowledge of our real destination,
but her anxiety to see that my portmanteau was properly packed disarmed
me; and her last words at parting were, "Don't work too hard. Amuse
yourself a little--you want a change." Peter and I were both quite
certain that Mrs. Dodd had not the least idea of our plot, and to
perfect the scheme we had letters sent to a friend in Liverpool, to be
duly posted, acquainting our wives with our arrival, and expressing
our sorrow at being separated from them even for such a short space of
time.
Dull care we threw to the winds, and no two men could have stepped on
French soil more bent on enjoyment. The very air seemed to exhilarate
us; it was like quaffing a bumper of champagne. Of course you know
Boulogne. Need I describe to you the beauty of the sands, the antiquity
of the old town, the village fetes at Pont-des-Briques and Portelle,
the quaint costumes and massive ornaments of the fish-women, or the
particular class of Englishmen you are bound to meet there in and out
of season?
You are, perhaps, as well acquainted with its features as I am. Perhaps
you have made love on the ramparts in the moonlight, and had your
breakfast at the little restaurant on the jetty. Morning has found you
at the English Library in search of the latest gossip; and possibly you
have seldom when there missed the two important events of the day--the
arrival and departure of the mail boats.
Small as it is, Boulogne circulates more scandal than any town twice
its size. It may be an extraordinary marriage, cheating discovered
at the card-table, the sudden disappearance of a friend's wife, the
elopement of a young lady with a married man, or rumours of a duel
about to take place on the Belgian frontier. Something startling is
sure to turn up, and natives and foreigners alike enjoy the humours of
the carnival quite as much as the people of Paris or Lyons.
The carnival commenced the day following our arrival. The proper thing
to do was to hire two fancy costumes, and, duly masked, go to the ball
at the theatre in the evening. We selected our dresses with great care.
We were, indeed, laughable to look at--I dressed in a Turkish costume,
and Peter, capitally got up like a Frenchman of the Paris boulevards.
We flattered ourselves, however, that our most intimate friends would
not have guessed who we were--feeling safe from detection even from our
wives.
After dejeuner on the jetty, I went in search of the man who owed
me the hundred pounds. He was not in the least surprised to see me,
which seemed strange; in fact, he looked as if he had rather expected
me to drop in than otherwise. One thing he was not prepared with,
and that was my money. Instead of offering to liquidate the debt to
some extent, he, with all the coolness imaginable, proposed that I
should lend him another ten pounds. I would not regret it, he said; he
might be able to do me a good turn. His audacity made me angry, and I
marched out of his office in anything but a pleasant temper. Meeting an
acquaintance shortly afterwards, he told me not to expect to realise
my hundred, that the man's wife had bolted with her husband's most
intimate friend a few days before, and that he, my debtor, was fast
drinking himself to ruin and death. Dismissing this miserable business
from my mind, Peter and I, picturesquely arrayed, took a voiture to
the theatre about eleven o'clock. The fun had not yet become fast and
furious, but the signs of the mad revelry to come were visible on all
sides.
Much abler pens than mine have described the kaleidoscope lights and
shades of a carnival ball, and I will confine myself to the very
objectionable dilemma which occurred to me and my friend. Having
flirted a little and danced once or twice, we took our unknown partners
to the bar to get some refreshment, and were standing there, when my
attention was arrested by the appearance of two ladies in black dominos
on the scene who seemed to be greatly interested in our movements.
They had a small piece of white satin ribbon attached to each of their
shoulders for, I presumed, the purpose of recognition if they were
accidentally separated.
The volatile Peter was too busy whispering nonsense in his best French
to the girl he had been dancing with to notice these inquisitive
dominos. I was about to leave the buffet when a tall man in a hideous
mask joined the two ladies, who evidently knew him, and, from the
direction of their looks, it appeared that what the three individuals
were talking about related to us.
An uneasy feeling stole over me, which I could not shake off. I
endeavoured to reason with myself that no end of mistakes took place at
every masked ball, and that the two dominos who persisted in hovering
near us were on the wrong scent. But this did not quite set my mind at
rest. I took Peter aside and told him that I thought we were watched!
"What fun! Let's go and ask them to dance!" was all the reckless man
answered. No sooner said than done; he went up to the ladies and
requested that honour for himself and friend, but they shook their
heads in reply, and put themselves in the care of their tall friend.
Peter, not a whit abashed, suggested that they thought themselves too
respectable to do anything but look sarcastically on other people's
folly, and departed in search of fresh adventure.
As the heat was stifling, I went out of the theatre and entered a
restaurant close to it. What I saw there astonished me. There was the
tall man who had been in conversation with the two dominos, without his
mask, and he turned out to be the worthy individual who owed me the
hundred pounds!
His remark, that if I lent him another ten pounds he might be able to
do me another good turn, arose in my mind. It was strange he showed no
surprise at seeing me enter his office.
Was it possible that my wife, who knew I had at one time business
relations with this man, had sent to have me watched? Or, horror of
horrors! had she followed me herself?
I was never quite satisfied about the noise outside the door when Peter
Dodd first proposed the unfortunate trip to Boulogne.
I soon, however, learned the worst. The tall man, who apparently did
not perceive me, was drinking with some persons at the bar, and was
relating to them with great glee, how nicely I was being done; and
Peter Dodd's wife and mine were the two dominos who had watched us, and
who had engaged this drunken fellow to assist them!
Needless to say, these revelations came upon me like a thunderclap in a
summer sky. I immediately rushed back to the theatre to inform Peter of
the dreadful discovery I had made. To my utter amazement, I found him
waltzing with his own wife, the other domino (my "better half") looking
on!
Immediate action was necessary to prevent a scene, and I whispered to
Peter as he passed me--
"Something serious has happened; take back your partner and come
instantly to me."
Peter, for once, did as he was told, but not without being stupid
enough to say to his partner that he hoped to have the pleasure of
dancing with her again, and that he expected the two ladies to join him
and his friend at supper. He was sure his friend would be delighted.
"That's the nicest girl I have danced with to-night," said Peter,
considerably excited, "but I cannot get her to talk."
"Come out, you idiot," was all I could say.
"That is polite, I must observe; Boulogne air is not agreeable to some
people."
"Tell me, what rubbish have you been talking to your partner, and how
did you manage to get her to waltz with you?"
"Cool! jealous! of course all the best girls must be reserved for the
Sultan. Don't be cross; if you fancy my partner, take her. Perhaps you
will be able to make her speak, and I will transfer my attentions to
her friend," replied the incorrigible Peter.
"Talk sense one second; you will be serious enough when I tell you what
I have discovered. I ask you if you have the slightest notion who we
are dancing with?"
"Not I, she would not open her mouth, but she is a deuced fine girl."
"Why, madman, that girl is your own wife; they are both here."
The only plan was to bribe more than the opposition, and, reluctantly
enough, I went and made terms with my pleasant debtor. "What he knew
did not amount to much; the enemy had said it was a lark to see what
we were about, and by making him a present got him to assist them."
He kindly found out for them where we were stopping, and the hideous
dresses in which we were to disfigure ourselves.
Peter was o£ no assistance to me in the dilemma; the startling
intelligence had quite upset his equilibrium. No more jokes now about
the nicest girl he had danced with that night. I made use of the tall
man, however, as he had been paid by both sides. He obtained for me
a blank telegram for a message received, and on it I had written a
request from the proprietor of the _Clarion_ asking me to be certain
to forward my carnival article on the following day, so that it would
appear in that week's issue. This was for my wife--she was so partial
to things being proved. A private letter would ensure the insertion of
an article which I must write.
The only way out of the difficulty was to state that I was obeying
instructions from the office, and to own that a harmless piece of
deception was used in case our darling wives would not approve of
foreign doings and masked balls.
The ladies were brought to us by our drinking friend, there was a
stormy five minutes, and a good many tears, but all unpleasantness was
forgotten before the supper was finished.
But as I said before, Peter Dodd's ideas have a tendency to lead one
into mischief.