It was some months after this, when I took the bold step of making
acquaintance on my own account with this pair; not exactly with the
pair, but with the one who was most accessible. It happened that a
sudden need for music lessons arose in the family. One of the children,
who had hitherto regarded that study with repugnance, and who had been
accordingly left out in all the musical arrangements of her brothers and
sisters, suddenly turned round by some freak of nature and demanded the
instruction which she had previously resisted. How could we expect
Fräulein Stimme, whose ministrations she had scorned, to descend to the
beggarly elements, and take up again one who was so far behind the
others? ‘I cannot ask her,’ I said; ‘you may do it yourself, Chatty, if
you are so much in earnest, but I cannot take it upon me;’ and it was
not until Chatty had declared with tears that to approach Fräulein
Stimme on her own account was impossible, that a brilliant idea struck
me. ‘Ten o’clock!’ I cried; which was an exclamation which would have
gone far to prove me out of my senses had any severe critic been
listening. This was the title which had been given to the little
music-mistress in Pleasant Place, before she had become associated in
our minds with the faithful clerk. And I confess that, without waiting
to think, without more ado, I ran to get my hat, and was out of doors in
a moment. It was very desirable, no doubt, that Chatty should make up
lost ground and begin her lessons at once, but that was not my sole
motive. When I found myself out of doors in a damp and foggy November
morning, crossing the muddy road in the first impulse of eagerness, it
suddenly dawned upon me that there were several obstacles in my way. In
the first place I did not even know her name. I knew the house, having
seen her, and especially him, enter it so often; but what to call her,
who to ask for, I did not know. She might, I reflected, be only a
lodger, not living with her parents, which up to this time I had taken
for granted; or she might be too accomplished in her profession to teach
Chatty the rudiments--a thing which, when I reflected upon the song I
had heard, and other scraps of music which had dropped upon my ears in
passing, seemed very likely. However I was launched, and could not go
back. I felt very small, humble, and blamably impulsive however when I
had knocked at the door of No. 7, and stood somewhat alarmed waiting a
reply. The door was opened by a small maid-servant, with a very long
dress and her apron folded over one arm, who stared, yet evidently
recognized me, not without respect, as belonging to one of the great
houses in the road. This is a kind of aristocratical position in the
suburbs. One is raised to a kind of personage by all the denizens of the
little streets and terraces. She made me a clumsy little curtsey, and
grinned amicably. And I was encouraged by the little maid. She was about
fifteen, rather grimy, in a gown much too long for her; but yet her foot
was upon her native heath, and I was an intruder. She knew all about the
family, no doubt, and who they were, and the name of my clerk, and the
relations in which he stood to her young mistress, while I was only a
stranger feebly guessing, and impertinently spying upon all these
things.
‘Is the young lady at home?’ I asked, with much humility.
The girl stared at me with wide-open eyes; then she said with a broad
smile, ‘You mean Miss Ellen, don’t ye, miss?’ In these regions it is
supposed to be complimentary to say ‘Miss,’ as creating a pleasant
fiction of perpetual youth.
‘To tell the truth,’ I said, with a consciousness of doing my best to
conciliate this creature, ‘I don’t know her name. It was about some
music lessons.’
‘Miss Ellen isn’t in,’ said the girl, ‘but missus is sure to see you if
you will step into the parlour, miss;’ and she opened to me the door of
the room in which I had seen my faithful Johnny at the window, and heard
her singing to him, in the twilight, her soft song. It was a commonplace
little parlour, with a faded carpet and those appalling mahogany and
hair-cloth chairs which no decorative genius, however brilliant, could
make anything of. What so easy as to say that good taste and care can
make any house pretty? This little room was very neat, and I don’t doubt
that Miss Ellen’s faithful lover found a little paradise in it; but it
made my heart sink foolishly to see how commonplace it all was; a
greenish-whitish woollen cover on the table, a few old photographic
albums, terrible antimacassars in crochet work upon the backs of the
chairs. I sat down and contemplated the little mirror on the mantelpiece
and the cheap little vases with dismay. We are all prejudiced now-a-days
on this question of furniture. My poor little music-mistress! how was
she to change the chairs and tables she had been born to? But, to tell
the truth, I wavered and doubted whether she was worthy of him when I
looked round upon all the antimacassars, and the dried grasses in the
green vase.
While I was struggling against this first impression the door opened,
and the mistress of the house came in. She was a little woman, stout and
roundabout, with a black cap decorated with flowers, but a fresh little
cheerful face under this tremendous head-dress which neutralized it. She
came up to me with a smile and would have shaken hands, had I been at
all prepared for such a warmth of salutation, and then she began to
apologize for keeping me waiting. ‘When my daughter is out I have to do
all the waiting upon him myself. He doesn’t like to be left alone, and
he can’t bear anybody but me or Ellen in the room with him,’ she said.
Perhaps she had explained beforehand who he was, but in the confusion of
the first greeting I had not made it out. Then I stated my business, and
she brightened up still more.
‘Oh, yes; I am sure Ellen will undertake it with great pleasure. In the
Road at No. 16? Oh, it is no distance; it will be no trouble; and she is
so glad to extend her connection. With private teaching it is such a
great matter to extend your connection. It is very kind of you to have
taken the trouble to come yourself. Perhaps one of Ellen’s ladies, who
are all so kind to her, mentioned our name?’
‘That is just where I am at a loss,’ I said uneasily. ‘No; but I have
seen her passing all these years, always so punctual, with her bright
face. She has been a great favourite of mine for a long time, though I
don’t know her name.’
The mother’s countenance brightened after a moment’s doubt. ‘Yes,’ she
said, ‘she is a good girl--always a bright face. She is the life of the
house.’
‘And I have seen,’ said I, hesitating more and more, ‘a gentleman. I
presume there is to be a marriage by and by. You must pardon my
curiosity, I have taken so much interest in them.’
A good many changes passed over the mother’s face. Evidently she was not
at all sure about my curiosity, whether perhaps it might not be
impertinent.
‘Ah!’ she said, with a little nod, ‘you have remarked John. Yes, of
course, it was sure to be remarked, so constantly as he comes. I need
not make any secret of it. In one way I would rather he did not come so
often; but it is a pleasure to Ellen. Yes; I may say they are engaged.’
Engaged? After all these years! But I remembered that I had no right,
being an intruder, to say anything. ‘I have seen them in the summer
evenings----’
‘Yes, yes,’ she said; ‘yes,’ with again a nod of her head. ‘Perhaps it
was imprudent, for you never can tell whether these things will come to
anything; but it was her only time for a little pleasure. Poor child, I
always see that she gets that hour. They go out still, though you would
not say it would do her much good in the dark; out there is nothing she
enjoys so much. She is the best girl that ever was. I don’t know what I
should do without her;’ and there was a glimmer of moisture in the
mother’s eyes.
‘But,’ I said, ‘surely after a while they are going to be married?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t see how her father can spare her.’ The cheerful
face lost all its brightness as she spoke, and she shook her head. ‘He
is so fond of Ellen, the only girl we have left now; he can’t bear her
out of his sight. She is such a good girl, and so devoted.’ The mother
faltered a little--perhaps my question made her think--at all events, it
was apparent that everything was not so simple and straightforward for
the young pair as I in my ignorance had thought.
But I had no excuse to say any more. It was no business of mine, as
people say. I settled that Ellen was to come at a certain hour next day,
which was all that remained to be done. When I glanced round the room
again as I left, it had changed its aspect to me, and looked like a
prison. Was the poor girl bound there, and unable to get free? As the
mother opened the door for me, the sound of an imperious voice calling
her came down-stairs. She called back, ‘I am coming, James, I am
coming;’ then let me out hurriedly. And I went home feeling as if I had
torn the covering from a mystery, and as if the house in Pleasant Place,
so tranquil, so commonplace, was the scene of some tragic story, to end
one could not tell how. But there was no mystery at all about it: When
‘Miss Harwood’ was announced to me next day, I was quite startled by the
name, not associating it with any one; but the moment the little
music-mistress appeared, with her little roll in her hand, her trim
figure, her smiling face, and fresh look of health and happiness, my
suspicions disappeared like the groundless fancies they were. She was
delighted to have a new pupil, and one so near, whom it would be ‘no
trouble’ to attend; and so pleased when I (with much timidity, I
confess) ventured to tell her how long I had known her, and how I had
watched for her at my window, and all the observations I had made. She
brightened, and laughed and blushed, and declared it was very kind of me
to take such an interest; then hung her head for a moment, and laughed
and blushed still more, when my confessions went the length of the
faithful lover. But this was nothing but a becoming girlish shyness, for
next minute she looked me frankly in the face, with the prettiest colour
dyeing her round cheek. ‘I think he knows you too,’ she said. ‘We met
you once out walking, and he told me, “There is the lady who lives in
the Road, whom I always see at the window.” We hoped you were better to
see you out.’ And then it was my turn to feel gratified, which I did
unfeignedly. I had gone through a great deal of trouble, cheered by my
spectatorship of life-out-of-doors from that window. And I was pleased
that they had taken some friendly notice of me too.
‘And I suppose,’ I said, returning to my theme, ‘that it will not be
long now before you reward his faithfulness. Must Chatty leave you then?
or will you go on, do you think, taking pupils after--?’
She gave me a little bewildered look. ‘I don’t think I know what you
mean.’
‘After you are married,’ I said plumply. ‘That must be coming soon now.’
Then she burst out with a genial, pretty laugh, blushing and shaking her
head. ‘Oh, no; we do not think of such a thing! Not yet. They couldn’t
spare me at home. John--I mean, Mr. Ridgway--knows that. My father has
been ill so long; he wants attendance night and day, and I don’t know
what mother would do without me. Oh dear no; we are very happy as we
are. We don’t even think of that.’
‘But you must think of it some time, surely, in justice to him,’ I said,
half indignant for my faithful Johnny’s sake.
‘Yes, I suppose so, some time,’ she said, with a momentary gravity
stealing over her face--gravity and perplexity too: and a little pucker
came into her forehead. How to do it? A doubt, a question, seemed to
enter her mind for a moment. Then she gave her head a shake, dismissing
the clouds from her cheerful firmament, and with a smiling decision set
down Chatty to the piano. Chatty had fallen in love with Miss Harwood,
her own particular music-mistress, in whom no one else had any share, on
the spot.
And after a while we all fell in love, one after another, with Miss
Ellen. She was one of those cheerful people who never make a fuss about
anything, never are put out, or make small troubles into great ones. We
tried her in every way, as is not unusual with a large, somewhat
careless, family, in whose minds it was a settled principle that, so
long as you did a thing some time or other, it did not at all matter
when you did it--and that times and seasons were of no particular
importance to any one but Fräulein Stimme. _She_, of course--our natural
disorderliness had to give way to her; but I am afraid it very soon came
to be said in the house, ‘Ellen will not mind.’ And Ellen did not mind;
if twelve o’clock proved inconvenient for the lesson, she only smiled
and said, ‘It is no matter; I will come in at three.’ And if at three
Fräulein Stimme’s clutches upon Chatty were still unclosed, she would do
anything that happened to be needed--gather the little ones round the
piano and teach them songs, or go out with my eldest daughter for her
walk, or talk to me. How many talks we had upon every subject
imaginable! Ellen was not what is called clever. She had read very few
books. My eldest daughter aforesaid despised her somewhat on this
account, and spoke condescendingly of this or that as ‘what Ellen says.’
But it was astonishing, after all, how often ‘what Ellen says’ was
quoted. There were many things which Ellen had not thought anything
about; and on these points she was quite ignorant; for she had not read
what other people had thought about them, and was unprepared with an
opinion; but whenever the subject had touched her own intelligence, she
knew very well what she thought. And by dint of being a little lower
down in the social order than we were, she knew familiarly a great many
things which we knew only theoretically and did not understand. For
instance, that fine shade of difference which separates people with a
hundred and fifty pounds a year from people with weekly wages was a
thing which had always altogether eluded me. I had divined that a
workman with three pounds a week was well off, and a clerk with the
same, paid quarterly, was poor; but wherein lay the difference, and how
it was that the latter occupied a superior position to the former, I
have never been able to fathom. Ellen belonged, herself, to this class.
Her father had been in one of the lower departments of a public office,
and had retired with a pension of exactly this amount after some thirty
years’ service. There was a time in his life, to which she regretfully
yet proudly referred as ‘the time when we were well off,’ in which his
salary had risen to two hundred and fifty pounds a year. That was the
time when she got her education and developed the taste for music which
was now supplying her with work which she liked, and a little provision
for herself. There was no scorn or _hauteur_ in Ellen; but she talked of
the working classes with as distinct a consciousness of being apart from
and superior to them as if she had been a duchess. It was no virtue of
hers; but still Providence had placed her on a different level, and she
behaved herself accordingly. Servants and shopkeepers, of the minor kind
at least, were within the same category to her--people to be perfectly
civil to, and kind to, but, as a matter of course, not the kind of
people whom in her position it would become her to associate with. When
I asked myself why I should smile at this, or wherein it was more
unreasonable than other traditions of social superiority, I could not
give any answer. We are not ourselves, so far as I know, sons of the
Crusaders, and it is very difficult to say what is the social figment of
rank by which we hold so dearly. Ellen Harwood exhibited to us the
instinct of aristocracy on one of its lower levels; and one learned a
lesson while one smiled in one’s sleeve. Never was anything more
certain, more serious, than her sense of class distinctions, and the
difference between one degree and another; and nobody, not a prince of
the blood, would have less understood being laughed at. This serene
consciousness of her position and its inherent right divine was a
possession inalienable to our music-mistress. She would have
comprehended or endured no trifling or jesting with it. One blushed
while one laughed in an undertone. She was holding the mirror up to
nature without being aware of it. And there were various fanciful
particulars also in her code. The people next door who let lodgings were
beneath her as much as the working people--all to be very nicely behaved
to, need I say, and treated with the greatest politeness and civility,
but not as if they were on the level of ‘people like ourselves.’ Lady
Clara Vere de Vere could not have been more serenely unconscious of any
possible equality between herself and her village surroundings than
Ellen Harwood. Fortunately, Mr. John Ridgway was ‘in our own position in
life.’
These and many other vagaries of human sentiment I learned to see
through Ellen’s eyes with more edification and amusement, and also with
more confusion and abashed consciousness, than had ever occurred to me
before. These were precisely my own sentiments, you know, towards the
rich linendraper next door; and no doubt my aristocratical repugnance to
acknowledge myself the neighbour of that worthy person would have seemed
just as funny to the Duke of Bayswater as Ellen’s pretensions did to me.
It must not be supposed however that Ellen Harwood was in a state of
chronic resistance to the claims of her humbler neighbours. She was an
active, bright, cheerful creature, full of interest in everything. Her
father had been ill for years; and she had grown accustomed to his
illness, as young people do to anything they have been acquainted with
all their lives, and was not alarmed by it, nor oppressed, so far as we
could tell, by the constant claims made upon her. She allowed that now
and then he was cross--‘which of us would not be cross, shut up in one
room for ever and ever?’ But she had not the least fear that he would
ever die, or that she would grow tired of taking care of him. All the
rest of her time after lessons she was in attendance upon him, excepting
only that hour in the evening when John’s visit was paid. She always
looked forward to that, she confessed. ‘To think of it makes everything
smooth. He is so good. Though I say it that shouldn’t,’ she cried,
laughing and blushing, ‘you can’t think how nice he is. And he knows so
much; before he knew us he had nothing to do but read all the
evenings--fancy! And I never met any one who had read so much; he knows
simply everything. Ah!’ with a little sigh, ‘it makes such a difference
to have him coming every night; it spirits one up for the whole day.’
‘But, Ellen, I can’t think how it is that he doesn’t get tired----’
‘Tired!’ She reddened up to her very hair. ‘Why should he get tired? If
he is tired, he has my full permission to go when he likes,’ she said,
throwing back her proud little head. ‘But nobody shall put such an idea
into my mind. You don’t know John. If you knew John that would be quite
enough; such a thing would never come into your mind.’
‘You should hear me out before you blame me. I was going to say, tired
of waiting, which is a very different sentiment.’
Ellen laughed, and threw aside her little offence in a moment. ‘I
thought you could not mean that. Tired of waiting! But he has not waited
so very long. We have not been years and years like some people--No;
only eighteen months since it was all settled. We are not rich people
like you, to do a thing the moment we have begun to think about it: and
everything so dear!’ she cried, half merry, half serious. ‘Oh, no; he is
not the least tired. What could we want more than to be together in the
evening? All the day goes pleasantly for thinking of it,’ she said, with
a pretty blush. ‘And my mother always manages to let me have that hour.
She does not mind how tired she is. We are as happy as the day is long,’
Ellen said.
I have always heard that a long engagement is the most miserable and
wearing thing in the world. I have never believed it, it is true; but
that does not matter. Here however was a witness against the popular
belief. Ellen was not the victim of a long engagement, nor of a peevish
invalid, though her days were spent in tendance upon one, and her youth
gliding away in the long patience of the other. She was as merry and
bright as if she were having everything her own way in life; and so I
believe she really thought she was, with a mother so kind as, always,
however tired she might be, to insist upon securing that evening hour
for her, and a John who was better than any other John had ever been
before him. The faithful Johnny! I wondered sometimes on his side what
he thought.