“Don't blame yourself, my Wilfrid.”
Emilia spoke thus, full of pity for him, and in her adorable,
deep-fluted tones, after the effective stop he had come to.
The 'my Wilfrid' made the owner of the name quiver with satisfaction. He
breathed: “You have forgiven me?”
“That I have. And there was indeed no blame. My voice has gone. Yes, but
I do not think it your fault.”
“It was! it is!” groaned Wilfrid. “But, has your voice gone?” He leaned
nearer to her, drawing largely on the claim his incredulity had
to inspect her sweet features accurately. “You speak just as--more
deliciously than ever! I can't think you have lost it. Ah! forgive me!
forgive me!”
Emilia was about to put her hand over to him, but the prompt impulse was
checked by a simultaneous feminine warning within. She smiled, saying:
“'I forgive' seems such a strange thing for me to say;” and to convey
any further meaning that might comfort him, better than words could
do, she held on her smile. The smile was of the acceptedly feigned,
conventional character; a polished Surface: belonging to the passage
of the discourse, and not to the emotions. Wilfrid's swelling passion
slipped on it. Sensitively he discerned an ease in its formation and
disappearance that shot a first doubt through him, whether he really
maintained his empire in her heart. If he did not reign there, why had
she sent for him? He attributed the unheated smile to a defect in her
manner, that was always chargeable with something, as he remembered.
He began systematically to account for his acts: but the man was so
constituted that as he laid them out for pardon, he himself condemned
them most; and looking back at his weakness and double play, he broke
through his phrases to cry without premeditation: “Can you have loved me
then?”
Emilia's cheeks tingled: “Don't speak of that night in Devon,” she
replied.
“Ah!” sighed he. “I did not mean then. Then you must have hated me.”
“No; for, what did I say? I said that you would come to me--nothing
more. I hated that woman. You? Oh, no!”
“You loved me, then?”
“Did I not offer to work for you, if you were poor? And--I can't
remember what I said. Please, do not speak of that night.”
“Emilia! as a man of honour, I was bound--”
She lifted her hands: “Oh! be silent, and let that night die.”
“I may speak of that night when you drove home from Penarvon Castle, and
a robber? You have forgotten him, perhaps! What did he steal? not what
he came for, but something dearer to him than anything he possesses. How
can I say--? Dear to me? If it were dipped in my heart's blood!--”
Emilia was far from being carried away by the recollection of the scene;
but remembering what her emotion had then been, she wondered at her
coolness now.
“I may speak of Wilming Weir?” he insinuated.
Her bosom rose softly and heavily. As if throwing off some cloak of
enchantment that clogged her spirit! “I was telling you of this dress,”
she said: “I mean, of Countess Branciani. She thought her husband was
the Austrian spy who had betrayed them, and she said, 'He is not
worthy to live.' Everybody knew that she had loved him. I have seen his
portrait and hers. I never saw faces that looked so fond of life.
She had that Italian beauty which is to any other like the difference
between velvet and silk.”
“Oh! do I require to be told the difference?” Wilfrid's heart throbbed.
“She,” pursued Emilia, “she loved him still, I believe, but her country
was her religion. There was known to be a great conspiracy, and no one
knew the leader of it. All true Italians trusted Countess Branciani,
though she visited the Austrian Governor's house--a General with some
name on the teeth. One night she said to him, 'You have a spy who
betrays you.' The General never suspected Countess Branciani. Women are
devils of cleverness sometimes.
“But he did suspect it must be her husband--thinking, I suppose, 'How
otherwise would she have known he was my spy?' He gave Count Branciani
secret work and high pay. Then he set a watch on him. Count Branciani
was to find out who was this unknown leader. He said to the Austrian
Governor, 'You shall know him in ten days.' This was repeated to
Countess Branciani, and she said to herself, 'My husband! you shall
perish, though I should have to stab you myself.'”
Emilia's sympathetic hand twitched. Wilfrid's seized it, but it
proved no soft melting prize. She begged to be allowed to continue.
He entreated her to. Thereat she pulled gently for her hand, and
persisting, it was grudgingly let go.
“One night Countess Branciani put the Austrians on her husband's track.
He knew that she was true to her country, and had no fear of her,
whether she touched the Black-yellow gold or not. But he did not confide
any, of his projects to her. And his reason was, that as she went to the
Governor's, she might accidentally, by a word or a sign, show that
she was an accomplice in the conspiracy. He wished to save her from a
suspicion. Brave Branciani!”
Emilia had a little shudder of excitement.
“Only,” she added, “why will men always think women are so weak? The
Count worked with conspirators who were not dreaming they would do
anything, but were plotting to do it. The Countess belonged to the other
party--men who never thought they were strong enough to see their ideas
acting--I mean, not bold enough to take their chance. As if we die more
than one death, and the blood we spill for Italy is ever wasted! That
night the Austrian spy followed the Count to the meeting-house of the
conspirators. It was thought quite natural that the Count should go
there. But the spy, not having the password, crouched outside, and heard
from two that came out muttering, the next appointment for a meeting.
This was told to Countess Branciani, and in the meantime she heard
from the Austrian Governor that her husband had given in names of the
conspirators. She determined at once. 'Now may Christ and the Virgin
help me!'”
Emilia struck her knees, while tears started through her shut eyelids.
The exclamation must have been caught from her father, who liked not the
priests of his native land well enough to interfere between his English
wife and their child in such a matter as religious training.
“What happened?” said Wilfrid, vainly seeking for personal application
in this narrative.
“Listen!--Ah!” she fought with her tears, and said, as they rolled down
her face: “For a miserable thing one can not help, I find I must cry.
This is what she did. She told him she knew of the conspiracy, and asked
permission to join it, swearing that she was true to Italy. He said he
believed her.--Oh, heaven!--And for some time she had to beg and beg;
but to spare her he would not let her join. I cannot tell why--he gave
her the password for the neat meeting, and said that an old gold coin
must be shown. She must have coaxed it, though he was a strong man, who
could resist women. I suppose he felt that he had been unkind.--Were I
Queen of Italy he should stand for ever in a statue of gold!--The next
appointed night a spy entered among the conspirators, with the password
and the coin. Did I tell you the Countess had one child--a girl! She
lives now, and I am to know her. She is like her mother. That little
girl was playing down the stairs with her nurse when a band of Austrian
soldiers entered the hall underneath, and an officer, with his sword
drawn, and some men, came marching up in their stiff way--the machines!
This officer stooped to her, and before the nurse could stop her, made
her say where her father was. Those Austrians make children betray their
parents! They don't think how we grow up to detest them. Do I? Hate is
not the word: it burns so hot and steady with me. The Countess came out
on the first landing; she saw what was happening. When her husband was
led out, she asked permission to embrace him. The officer consented,
but she had to say to him, 'Move back,' and then, with her lips to
her husband's cheek, 'Betray no more of them!' she whispered. Count
Branciani started. Now he understood what she had done, and why she had
done it. 'Ask for the charge that makes me a prisoner,' he said. Her
husband's noble face gave her a chill of alarm. The Austrian spoke. 'He
is accused of being the chief of the Sequin Club.' And then the Countess
looked at her husband; she sank at his feet. My heart breaks. Wilfrid!
Wilfrid! You will not wear that uniform? Say 'Never, never!' You will
not go to the Austrian army--Wilfrid? Would you be my enemy? Brutes,
knee-deep in blood! with bloody fingers! Ogres! Would you be one of
them? To see me turn my head shivering with loathing as you pass? This
is why I sent for you, because I loved you, to entreat you, Wilfrid,
from my soul, not to blacken the dear happy days when I knew you! Will
you hear me? That woman is changeing you--doing all this. Resist her!
Think of me in this one thing! Promise it, and I will go at once, and
want no more. I will swear never to trouble you. Oh, Wilfrid it's not
so much our being enemies, but what you become, I think of. If I say to
myself, 'He also, who was once my lover--Oh! paid murderer of my dear
people!'”
Emilia threw up both hands to her eyes: but Wilfrid, all on fire with a
word, made one of her hands his own, repeating eagerly: “Once? once?”
“Once?” she echoed him.
“'Once my love?'” said he. “Not now?--does it mean, 'not now?' My
darling!--pardon me, I must say it. My beloved! you said: 'He who was
once my lover:'--you said that. What does it mean? Not that--not--? does
it mean, all's over? Why did you bring me here? You know I must love you
forever. Speak! 'Once?'”
“'Once?'” Emilia was breathing quick, but her voice was well contained:
“Yes, I said 'once.' You were then.”
“Till that night in Devon?
“Let it be.”
“But you love me still?”
“We won't speak of it.”
“I see! You cannot forgive. Good heavens! I think I remember your saying
so once--Once! Yes, then: you said it then, during our 'Once;' when
I little thought you would be merciless to me--who loved you from the
first! the very first! I love you now! I wake up in the night, thinking
I hear your voice. You haunt me. Cruel! cold!--who guards you and
watches over you but the man you now hate? You sit there as if you
could make yourself stone when you pleased. Did I not chastise that man
Pericles publicly because he spoke a single lie of you? And by that act
I have made an enemy to our house who may crush us in ruin. Do I regret
it? No. I would do any madness, waste all my blood for you, die for
you!”
Emilia's fingers received a final twist, and were dropped loose. She
let them hang, looking sadly downward. Melancholy is the most irritating
reply to passion, and Wilfrid's heart waged fierce at the sight of
her, grown beautiful!--grown elegant!--and to reject him! When, after a
silence which his pride would not suffer him to break, she spoke to ask
what Mr. Pericles had said of her, he was enraged, forgot himself, and
answered: “Something disgraceful.”
Deep colour came on Emilia. “You struck him, Wilfrid?”
“It was a small punishment for his infamous lie, and, whatever might be
the consequences, I would do it again.”
“Wilfrid, I have heard what he has said. Madame Marini has told me. I
wish you had not struck him. I cannot think of him apart from the days
when I had my voice. I cannot bear to think of your having hurt him. He
was not to blame. That is, he did not say: it was not untrue.”
She took a breath to make this last statement, and continued with the
same peculiar implicity of distinctness, which a terrific thunder of
“What?” from Wilfrid did not overbear: “I was quite mad that day I went
to him. I think, in my despair I spoke things that may have led him to
fancy the truth of what he has said. On my honour, I do not know. And I
cannot remember what happened after for the week I wandered alone about
London. Mr. Powys found me on a wharf by the river at night.”
A groan burst from Wilfrid. Emilia's instinct had divined the antidote
that this would be to the poison of revived love in him, and she felt
secure, though he had again taken her hand; but it was she who nursed
a mere sentiment now, while passion sprang in him, and she was not
prepared for the delirium with which he enveloped her. She listened to
his raving senselessly, beginning to think herself lost. Her tortured
hands were kissed; her eyes gazed into. He interpreted her stupefaction
as contrition, her silence as delicacy, her changeing of colour
as flying hues of shame: the partial coldness at their meeting he
attributed to the burden on her mind, and muttering in a magnanimous
sublimity that he forgave her, he claimed her mouth with force.
“Don't touch me!” cried Emilia, showing terror.
“Are you not mine?”
“You must not kiss me.”
Wilfrid loosened her waist, and became in a minute outwardly most cool
and courteous.
“My successor may object. I am bound to consider him. Pardon me.
Once!--”
The wretched insult and silly emphasis passed harmlessly from her: but
a word had led her thoughts to Merthyr's face, and what is meant by the
phrase 'keeping oneself pure,' stood clearly in Emilia's mind. She
had not winced; and therefore Wilfrid judged that his shot had missed
because there was no mark. With his eye upon her sideways, showing its
circle wide as a parrot's, he asked her one of those questions that
lovers sometimes permit between themselves. “Has another--?” It is here
as it was uttered. Eye-speech finished the sentence.
Rapidly a train of thought was started in Emilia, and she came to
this conclusion, aloud: “Then I love nobody!” For she had never kissed
Merthyr, or wished for his kiss.
“You do not?” said Wilfrid, after a silence. “You are generous in being
candid.”
A pressure of intensest sorrow bowed his head. The real feeling in him
stole to Emilia like a subtle flame.
“Oh! what can I do for you?” she cried.
“Nothing, if you do not love me,” he was replying mournfully, when,
“Yes! yes!” rushed to his lips; “marry me: marry me to-morrow. You have
loved me. 'I am never to leave you!' Can you forget the night when you
said it? Emilia! Marry me and you will love me again. You must. This
man, whoever he is--Ah! why am I such a brute! Come! be mine! Let me
call you my own darling! Emilia!--or say quietly 'you have nothing to
hope for:' I shall not reproach you, believe me.”
He looked resigned. The abrupt transition had drawn her eyes to his. She
faltered: “I cannot be married.” And then: “How could I guess that you
felt in this way?”
“Who told me that I should?” said he. “Your words have come true. You
predicted that I should fly from 'that woman,' as you called her, and
come to you. See! here it is exactly as you willed it. You--you are
changed. You throw your magic on me, and then you are satisfied, and
turn elsewhere.”
Emilia's conscience smote her with a verification of this charge, and
she trembled, half-intoxicated for the moment, by the aspect of her
power. This filled her likewise with a dangerous pity for its victim;
and now, putting out both hands to him, her chin and shoulders raised
entreatingly, she begged the victim to spare her any word of marriage.
“But you go, you run away from me--I don't know where you are or what
you are doing,” said Wilfrid. “And you leave me to that woman. She loves
the Austrians, as you know. There! I will ask nothing--only this: I will
promise, if I quit the Queen's service for good, not to wear the white
uniform--”
“Oh!” Emilia breathed inward deeply, scarce noticing the 'if' that
followed; nodding quick assent to the stipulation before she heard the
nature of it. It was, that she should continue in England.
“Your word,” said Wilfrid; and she pledged it, and did not think she was
granting much in the prospect of what she gained.
“You will, then?” said he.
“Yes, I will.”
“On your honour?”
These reiterated questions were simply pretexts for steps nearer to the
answering lips.
“And I may see you?” he went on.
“Yes.”
“Wherever you are staying? And sometimes alone? Alone!--”
“Not if you do not know that I am to be respected,” said Emilia, huddled
in the passionate fold of his arms. He released her instantly, and was
departing, wounded; but his heart counselled wiser proceedings.
“To know that you are in England, breathing the same air with me, near
me! is enough. Since we are to meet on those terms, let it be so. Let me
only see you till some lucky shot puts me out of your way.”
This 'some lucky shot,' which is commonly pointed at themselves by the
sentimental lovers, with the object of hitting the very centre of the
hearts of obdurate damsels, glanced off Emilia's, which was beginning to
throb with a comprehension of all that was involved in the word she had
given.
“I have your promise?” he repeated: and she bent her head.
“Not,” he resumed, taking jealousy to counsel, now that he had advanced
a step: “Not that I would detain you against your will! I can't
expect to make such a figure at the end of the piece as your Count
Branciani--who, by the way, served his friends oddly, however well he
may have served his country.”
“His friends?” She frowned.
“Did he not betray the conspirators? He handed in names, now and then.”
“Oh!” she cried, “you understand us no better than an Austrian. He
handed in names--yes he was obliged to lull suspicion. Two or three of
the least implicated volunteered to be betrayed by him; they went and
confessed, and put the Government on a wrong track. Count Branciani made
a dish of traitors--not true men--to satisfy the Austrian ogre. No
one knew the head of the plot till that night of the spy. Do you not
see?--he weeded the conspiracy!”
“Poor fellow!” Wilfrid answered, with a contracted mouth: “I pity him
for being cut off from his handsome wife.”
“I pity her for having to live,” said Emilia.
And so their duett dropped to a finish. He liked her phrase better than
his own, and being denied any privileges, and feeling stupefied by a
position which both enticed and stung him, he remarked that he presumed
he must not detain her any longer; whereupon she gave him her hand. He
clutched the ready hand reproachfully.
“Good-bye,” said she.
“You are the first to say it,” he complained.
“Will you write to that Austrian colonel, your cousin, to say 'Never!
never!' to-morrow, Wilfrid?”
“While you are in England, I shall stay, be sure of that.”
She bade him give her love to all Brookfield.
“Once you had none to give but what I let you take back for the
purpose!” he said. “Farewell! I shall see the harp to-night. It stands
in the old place. I will not have it moved or touched till you--”
“Ah! how kind you were, Wilfrid!”
“And how lovely you are!”
There was no struggle to preserve the backs of her fingers from his
lips, and, as this time his phrase was not palpably obscured by the one
it countered, artistic sentiment permitted him to go.