JOCK. "Oh ay, I hae seen the king; but I wadna gang the length o' the
street to see him again. He's just made like ony ither mon, an' they
tell't me his arms were a lion an' a unicorn."
* * * * *
A QUANDARY.--If a boy should catch hold of your ear, and ask if he had
the wrong pig by the ear, would you answer yes or no?
* * * * *
A MELANCHOLY CASE OF SUICIDE.--A naughty little boy, having been
threatened with a whipping, immediately hung his head.
* * * * *
A little girl being asked by her grandfather where cotton grew, replied,
with the greatest simplicity, "In old gentlemen's ears."
* * * * *
A man who lisped, having bought some pigs, asked a neighbor for the use
of a pen for a few days. Said he: "I have jutht been purchathing thome
thwine--two thowth and pigth. I want to put them in your pen till I can
fix a plaith for them." "Two thousand pigs!" exclaimed the astonished
neighbor; "why, my pen will hardly hold a dozen!" "You don't underthtand
me, Mr. Bent. I don't thay two thouthand pigth, but two thowth and
pigth!" "I hear you," said Mr. Bent; "two thousand pigs! Why, you must be
crazy." "I tell you again," exclaimed the man, angrily, "I mean not two
thouthand pigth, but two thowth and two pigth!" "Oh, that is what you
mean, eh? Well, the pen is at your service."
* * * * *