They wrote it down. He waited until they had finished. Then he went on:
"She is the most beautiful girl in the world--to me. Don't forget
that--_to me_!"
Those two words would prevent two million sneers from the other most
beautiful girls in the world who at that moment happened to reside in
New York. Indeed, all his words would be read aloud to young men by said
two million coral lips. Perfect Cupid's bows. She was beautiful--_to
him_!
"Her parents oppose my suit," went on H. R., calmly.
"Is this a free country," interjected Max Onthemaker, vehemently, "or
are we in Russia? Has Wall Street established morganatic marriages in
this Republic, or--"
H. R. held up a quieting hand. Max Onthemaker smiled at the rebuke. Two
reporters had taken down his remarks.
"I have told her parents that I propose to marry Miss
Goodchild--peacefully. Get that straight, please. Peacefully! I am a
law-abiding citizen. She is very beautiful. But I am willing to wait--a
few weeks."
"Yes. But the sandwiches," began a reporter who entertained hopes of
becoming a Public Utility Corporation's publicity man.
H. R. stopped him with an impressive frown. He cleared his throat.
The reporters felt it coming.
"What I have done--" he began.
"Yes! Yes!"
"--is merely the employment for the first time in history of
_psychological sabotage_!"
The reporters, now having the head-line, rushed off. All except one, who
whispered to H. R.'s counsel:
"What in blazes _is_ sabotage? How do you spell it?"
"Quit your joking," answered Max. "You know very well what it is. Isn't
he a wonder? Psychological sabotage!"
The newspapers gave it space in proportion to the extent of their Wall
Street affiliations. The _Evening Post_, having none, came out with an
editorial on "Psychological Sabotage." It held up H. R. as a product of
the times, made inevitable by T. Roosevelt. The _World_ editorialized on
"The Wall Street Spirit _versus_ Love"; the _Times_ wrote about "The
Ethics of Modern Courtship"; and the _Sun_ about "The Decay of Manners
under the Present Administration and its Mexican Policy." The
_American_'s editorial was "Intelligent Eugenics and Unintelligent
Wealth."
But all of them quoted "Psychological Sabotage." This made the Socialist
papers espouse the cause of H. R.
The _Globe_, however, beat them all. It offered to supply to the young
couple, free of charge, a complete kitchen-set and the services of a
knot-tier. It printed the names and addresses of sixteen clergymen, two
rabbis, three aldermen, and the Mayor of the City of New York.
The Public Sentiment Corps copied two hundred and thirty-eight letters
prepared by the boss, praising and condemning H. R. and Mr. Goodchild.
This compelled the newspapers that received the letters to run Grace's
portrait daily--a new photograph each time.
As for Grace herself, crowds followed her. She could not go into a
restaurant without making all heads turn in her direction. People even
stopped dancing when they saw her. And six of New York's bluest-blooded
heiresses became her inseparable companions. They also had their
pictures printed.
Grace hated all this notoriety. She said so, at times. But her friends
soothed her and developed the habit of looking pleasantly at cameras.
H. R. on the third day sent all the clippings to Grace with beautiful
flowers and a note:
_For your sake!_
One of Grace's friends asked to be allowed to keep the note. It reminded
her, she said, of the early Christians; also of the days of knighthood.
The commercial phase of the mission of the Society of American Sandwich
Artists had become in the meanwhile a matter of real importance to the
business world. Business men, not being artists, are stupid because they
deal with money-profits, and they are imitative because money-making in
the ultimate analysis is never original. When the merchants of New York
perceived that Fifth Avenue had sanctified sandwiching by paying cash
for it, and that the better shops elsewhere had perforce resorted to it,
they accepted it as one of the conditions of modern merchandising. It
did not become a fad, but worse--an imagined necessity and, as such, an
institution. The little Valiquet-made statuettes of the Ultimate
Sandwich sold by the thousands, greatly adding to the personal assets of
the secretary and treasurer of the society. And what New York did, other
cities wished to do.
Then the blow fell!
On the same day that H. R. sent his early Christian message to Grace,
Andrew Barrett reported that while some of the streets were almost
impassable for the multitude of sandwiches, the greater part of the
latter, alas! were _non-union men_!
"They are using their porters and janitors to carry boards," said Andrew
Barrett, bitterly. "I tell you, H. R., this is a crisis!"
H. R., thinking of Grace, nodded absently and said, "Send for
Onthemaker."
Max came on the run. Nearly three days had elapsed without a front-page
paragraph for him.
Barrett told him about the crisis. Their idea had been stolen and
utilized by unscrupulous merchants who were sandwiching without
permission and using scabs.
"I get you," said Max Onthemaker. Then he turned to the chief and told
him:
"H. R., you've got to do something to make George G. Goodchild sue you
for a million dollars." He had drawn and kept ready for use sixty-three
varieties of restraining orders, writs, etc.
"What's that got to do with our--" began Andrew Barrett, impatiently.
"Certainly!" cut in Mr. Onthemaker. "We must fight Capital with its own
weapon. The Money Power is great on injunctions. I wish to say that when
it comes to injunctions I've got Wall Street gasping for breath and--"
"Yes, but what about the scabs? Can't you stop 'em?" persisted Barrett.
The future of the Barrett Itinerant Advertising Agency was at stake.
"Sure! We can hire strong-arm--"
"No!" said H. R., decisively.
Andrew Barrett, who had begun to look hopeful, frowned at his leader's
negative, and said, desperately, "Something has got to be done!"
When human beings say "Something" in that tone of voice they mean
dynamite by proxy.
"Certainly!" agreed H. R., absently, his mind still on Grace.