_P. S. The better the men the fewer I need. The fewer I use
the greater the profit to the lucky ones. Keep away unless
you are a Wonder._
It was the first time that an advertisement for "Help Wanted" had
contained a postscriptum. H. R. did it because he knew that the
unusualness of it would make professional people talk. Every experienced
advertising man must realize that H. R. had not written an
advertisement, but had dictated a brief letter to him. The signer was
too busy and too much in earnest to compose a regular advertisement.
Genius neglects no opportunity, however slight. Consider the small but
efficient yellow-fever microbe.
V
Monday morning, at 8.30 A.M., H. R. was in his office. At 8.35 he had
engaged a stenographer by telephone and told the starter and the
elevator-men who H. R. was. Later on the dozen men who answered the
advertisement made it impossible for either starter or elevator-men ever
to forget who H. R. was without the use of gratuities, profanity, or
promises.
H. R.'s first task was to compose memoranda for the use and guidance of
Max Onthemaker and Lieutenant Fleming. At 8.45 the first-class
advertising canvassers began to appear in numbers. Really efficient men
are never modest. Neither are really inefficient men. Efficiency is
always a matter of personal judgment. Even efficiency experts will tell
you that nobody is really efficient until efficiency experts have said
so.
H. R. allowed the applicants to accumulate in the anteroom. The new
stenographer had been told to write, "Now is the time for all good men
to come to the aid of their party" two thousand times and to time
herself. The spectators thereby realized that this was a busy office.
He was confronting his first crisis--the selection of a man who must not
only be highly competent, but must be made to realize that H. R. was a
pioneer, a man to whom tradition, precedents, and custom were less than
nothing. H. R. studied the situation and then went out to the anteroom
and looked at the waiting dozen slowly.
There are a few men in the world who can look a crowd from head to foot
and manage to make each man in it feel guilty. After H. R. had so looked
at them, he asked, skeptically, "Are _all_ of you first-class men?"
To their honor be it said, not one of them answered No. Men collectively
may be cruel or blind, but seldom petty or egotistical. Observe mobs.
H. R. turned his back on the crowd and returned to his private office.
He did it on purpose. Men usually follow those who act as if they do not
care whether they have a following or not. It is wiser to be wrong and
not hesitate than to vacillate and be right. Besides, much quicker.
At the threshold he half turned and, without looking at any one in
particular, said: "I need only four first-class men. The others might as
well go away."
Twelve men heard him. Twelve men followed him.
He sat down at his new desk, put the unpaid bill for same in a drawer,
and confronted them.
"Eight of you can go," he observed, and waited.
Each man cast a glance of pity at his neighbor.
"Don't be so modest," H. R. told them, kindly.
"You said first-class men?" politely inquired a young man,
smooth-shaven, blond, blue-eyed, and very clean-looking.
"Yes," answered H. R.
"That's what I understood," said the young man, extending his hand.
"Barrett's my name."
H. R. ignored the outstretched hand and stared at the clean-looking
young man.
On the faces of eleven Christian gentlemen came a fraternal look of
self-conscious modesty. But young Mr. Barrett, unabashed, said,
cheerily:
"Keep on looking. _I_ know you want me. When _you_ discover it, we'll do
business."
"Go to the foot of the class," said H. R., impassively. You could tell
nothing from his voice. It is a valuable gift.
The young man eyed H. R. shrewdly, then walked to a corner of the room,
sat down, pulled a memorandum-book from his pocket, and began to count
his contracts in advance.
"Your _last_ name, please," said H. R., looking as if what he had asked
for was the _right_ name. The assumption of guilt has the effect of
putting even the innocent on the defensive. The strategic inferiority of
the defensive is always acknowledged by the defeated--even before the
defeat.
He jotted down the replies, one after another. Within one and
three-quarter minutes these men felt themselves deprived of their
individual entities. They had been turned into a list of surnames, a
fragment of the rabble.
The leader stood alone--he alone had a _first_ name! Smith merely votes;
John Smith has his own opinion. H. R. had acted instinctively. He never
would have had the conscious wisdom of an editorial writer. There are
many editorial writers in all republics. Hence, practical politics.
"Where did you see my advertisement?" asked H. R. "One at a time,
please. Also, state why you looked in that particular newspaper?"
They told him, one at a time, in the hearing of the others, thereby
intensifying their own feeling of having been lumped into an
electorate. He made notes as they answered. Some had seen it in the
_Herald_. Others blamed the _World_ or the _Times_ or the _Sun_, or the
_Tribune_. Three gave two papers; one had seen three. They expressed
their professional opinion of that particular advertising medium,
feeling that said opinion was a qualification of fitness.
Young Mr. Barrett from his chair answered: "In all the papers. I also
looked in the German, Yiddish, and Italian papers; in the _Courier des
Etats-Unis_, and in the first morning edition of every afternoon paper.
I did it to get a line on _you_."
H. R. did not look as if he had heard Barrett. He said to the others: "I
thank you all for coming. I shall not need Wilson, Streeter, Manley,
Hill, Roberts, Smith, Jenks, or MacDuffy."
One of the rejected came forward, scowling. He was naturally a
robust-looking person. He said, "Say, this is--"
H. R. did not allow the full expression of individual opinion--a form of
salutary discipline which explains why people are governed. He snarled
in a tone of voice that made his shoulders look a yard wide: "Mr. Book
Agent, I've picked the men I want. What I don't want is to hear any
remarks. Talk them into a dictagraph and send the cylinders by parcels
post to my secretary."
He had risen. But when he finished speaking, as though the unarmed
proletariat were in full retreat, he sat down again. It was the way he
did it.
Men always do what they are expected to do. The eight non-successfuls
went out. It was only when they were outside, where the female was
typewriting away, that they began to talk loudly.
H. R. had judged rightly. They were not first-class men. He turned to
the others and asked:
"Can you _sell_ advertising?"