"We, Titania, Queen of Fairyland, Empress of the Kingdom of Dreams,
Grand Dame of the Order of Absolute Darlings, etc., etc., beg to draw
the attention of Messrs. M---- to the enclosed paragraph, impinging
gravely on the ancient and indisputable rights and prerogatives of
ourselves and our loyal subjects, which appeared in their recent seed
catalogue. We feel that the inclusion of the aforesaid paragraph must be
due to some oversight, since Messrs. M---- can hardly be unaware of the
fact that it is only owing to the co-operation of ourselves and our
subjects that they are able to carry on their business with success. We
are unwilling to resort to extreme measures, but unless the paragraph is
immediately withdrawn we shall be obliged to take steps accordingly, in
which case Messrs. M---- are warned that the whole of next year's flower
crop may prove an utter and complete failure. Given under our Royal Hand
and Seal. TITANIA R."
The Queen seemed very pleased when I read it over to her.
"It's perfectly splendid," she said, clapping her hands. "How silly of
me not to have thought of it; but I was so distracted. Won't it make
them sit up? And of course we could do it easily, though it would be
rather dreadful, wouldn't it? I shall have it copied out the minute I
get home and sent off to-night. By the way" (a little anxiously) "there
aren't any split infinitives in it, are there? My chamberlain's rather
peculiar about them--they make him ill. Extraordinary, isn't it?
But--don't tell anyone--I never quite understand myself what they are or
where they split, though it certainly does sound very uncomfortable."