_Tommy and his Sister Jane (Taylorian Twins, and awful examples)._
_Their Wicked Uncle (plagiarised from a forgotten Nursery Story, and
slightly altered)._
_Old Farmer Copeer (skilled in the use of horse and cattle medicines)._
SCENE--_A shady lane; on the right, a gate, leading to the farm; left,
some bushes, covered with practicable scarlet berries._
_Enter the_ Wicked Uncle, _stealthily_.
_The W. U._ No peace of mind I e'er shall know again
Till I have cooked the geese of TOM and JANE!
But--though a naughty--I'm a nervous nunky,
For downright felonies I feel too funky!
I'd hire assassins--but of late the villains
Have raised their usual fee to fifteen shillin's!
Nor, to reduce their rates, will they engage
(_Sympathetically_) For two poor orphans who are under age!
So (as I'd give no more than half a guinea)
I must myself get rid of TOM and JENNY.
Yet, like an old soft-hearted fool, I falter,
And can't make up my mind to risk a halter.
(_Looking off_). Ha, in the distance, JANE and little TOM I see!
These berries--(_meditatingly_)--why, it only needs diplomacy.
Ho-ho, a most ingenious experiment!
[_Indulges in silent and sinister mirth, as_ JANE
_and_ TOM _trip in, and regard him with
innocent wonder_.
_Jane._ Uncle, what is the joke? why all this
merriment?
_The W. U. (in guilty confusion)._ Not merriment,
my loves--a trifling spasm--
Don't be alarmed--your Uncle often has 'em!
I'm feeling better than I did at first--
You're looking flushed, though not, I hope, with
thirst? [_Insidiously._