A NIGHT AT HOWTH.
"And must you really leave us so soon," said Tom as we issued forth into
the street; "why I was just planning a whole week's adventure for you.
Town is so full of all kinds of idle people, I think I could manage to
make your time pass pleasantly enough."
"Of that," I replied, "I have little doubt; but for the reasons I have
just mentioned, it is absolutely necessary that I should not lose a
moment; and after arranging a few things here, I shall start to-morrow by
the earliest packet, and hasten up to London at once."
"By Jupiter," said Tom, "how lucky. I just remember something, which
comes admirably apropos. You are going to Paris--is it not so?"
"Yes, direct to Paris."
"Nothing could be better. There is a particularly nice person, a great
friend of mine, Mrs. Bingham, waiting for several days in hopes of a
chaperon to take care of herself and daughter--a lovely girl, only
nineteen, you wretch--to London, en route to the continent: the mamma
a delightful woman, and a widow, with a very satisfactory jointure--you
understand--but the daughter, a regular downright beauty, and a ward in
chancery, with how many thousand pounds I am afraid to trust myself to
say. You must know then they are the Binghams of--, upon my soul, I
forget where; but highly respectable."
"I regret I have not the pleasure of their acquaintance, and the more
because I shall not be able to make it now."
"As why?" said Tom gravely.
"Because, in the first place, I am so confoundedly pressed for time that
I could not possibly delay under any contingency that might arise; and
your fair friends are, doubtless, not so eagerly determined upon
travelling night and day till they reach Paris. Secondly, to speak
candidly, with my present hopes and fears weighing upon my mind, I should
not be the most agreeable travelling companion to two ladies with such
pretensions as you speak of; and thirdly,--"
"Confound your thirdly. I suppose we shall have sixteenthly, like a
Presbyterian minister's sermon, if I let you go on. Why, they'll not
delay you one hour. Mrs. Bingham, man, cares as little for the road as
yourself; and as for your petits soins, I suppose if you get the fair
ladies through the Custom-House, and see them safe in a London hotel,
it is all will be required at your hands."
"Notwithstanding all you say, I see the downright impossibility of my
taking such a charge at this moment, when my own affairs require all the
little attention I can bestow; and when, were I once involved with your
fair friends, it might be completely out of my power to prosecute my own
plans."
As I said this, we reached the door of a handsome looking house in
Kildare-street; upon which Tom left my arm, and informing me that he
desired to drop a card, knocked loudly.
"Is Mrs. Bingham at home," said he, as the servant opened the door.
"No sir, she's out in the carriage."
"Well, you see Harry, your ill luck befriends you; for I was resolved on
presenting you to my friends and leaving the rest to its merits."
"I can safely assure you that I should not have gone up stairs," said I.
"Little as I know of myself, there is one point of my character I have
never been deceived in, the fatal facility by which every new incident
or adventure can turn me from following up my best matured and longest
digested plans; and as I feel this weakness and cannot correct it; the
next best thing I can do is fly the causes."
"Upon my soul," said Tom, "you have become quite a philosopher since we
met. There is an old adage which says, 'no king is ever thoroughly
gracious if he has not passed a year or two in dethronement;' so I
believe your regular lady-killer--yourself for instance--becomes a very
quiet animal for being occasionally jilted. But now, as you have some
commissions to do, pray get done with them as fast as possible, and let
us meet at dinner. Where do you dine to-day?"
"Why, upon that point, I am at your service completely."
"Well, then, I have got a plan which I think will suit you. You said you
wished to go by Holyhead, for fear of delay; so, we'll drive down at six
o'clock to Skinner's and dine with him on board the packet at Howth.
Bring your luggage with you, and it will save you a vast deal of fuss and
trouble in the morning."
Nothing could be better management for me than this, so I accordingly
promised acquiescence; and having appointed a rendezvous for six o'clock,
bade O'Flaherty good by, inwardly rejoicing that my plans were so far
forwarded, and that I was not to be embarrassed with either Mrs. Bingham
or her daughter, for whose acquaintance or society I had no peculiar
ambition.
My commissions, though not very numerous, occupied the few hours which
remained, and it was already a few minutes past six o'clock when I took
my stand under the piazza of the Post Office to wait for O'Flaherty. I
had not long to do so, for immediately after I had reached the spot, he
arrived in an open barouche and four posters, with three other young men,
to whom he severally introduced me, but whose names I have totally
forgotten; I only remember that two of the party were military men then
quartered in town.
When I had taken my seat, I could not help whispering to Tom, that
although his friend Skinner might be "bon" for a visitation or two at his
dinner, yet as we were now so strong a party, it might be as well to dine
at the hotel.
"Oh," said he, "I have arranged all that; I have sent him a special
messenger two hours since, and so make your mind easy--we shall not be
disappointed, nor be short-taken."
Our drive, although a long one, passed quickly over, and before we had
reached our destination, I had become tolerably intimate with all the
party, who were evidently picked men, selected by O'Flaherty for a
pleasant evening.
We drove along the pier to the wharf, where the steamer lay, and were
received at once by Tom's friend with all the warm welcome and
hospitality of a sailor, united with the address and polish of a very
finished gentleman. As we descended the companion-ladder to the cabin,
my mind became speedily divested of any fears I might have indulged in,
as to the want of preparation of our entertainer. The table was covered
with all the appanage of handsome plate and cut glass, while the
side-tables glittered with a magnificent dessert, and two large
wine-coolers presented an array of champagne necks shining with their
leaden cravats that would have tempted an anchorite.
I remember very little else of that evening than the coup d'oeil I have
mentioned; besides, were my memory more retentive, I might scruple to
trespass farther on my reader's patience, by the detail of those
pleasures, which, like love-letters, however agreeable to the parties
immediately concerned, are very unedifying to all others. I do remember,
certainly, that good stories and capital songs succeeded each other with
a rapidity only to be equalled by the popping of corks; and have also a
very vague and indistinct recollection of a dance round the table,
evidently to finish a chorus, but which, it appears, finished me too, for
I saw no more that night.
How many men have commemorated the waking sensations of their fellow-men,
after a night's debauch; yet at the same time, I am not aware of any one
having perfectly conveyed even a passing likeness to the mingled throng
of sensations which crowd one's brain on such an occasion. The doubt of
what has passed, by degrees yielding to the half-consciousness of the
truth, the feeling of shame, inseparable except to the habitually
hard-goer, for the events thus dimly pictured, the racking headache and
intense thirst, with the horror of the potation recently indulged in: the
recurring sense of the fun or drollery of a story or an incident which
provokes us again to laugh despite the jarring of our brain from the
shaking. All this and more most men have felt, and happy are they when
their waking thoughts are limited to such, at such times as these--the
matter becomes considerably worse, when the following morning calls for
some considerable exertion, for which even in your best and calmest
moments, you only find yourself equal.
It is truly unpleasant, on rubbing your eyes and opening your ears, to
discover that the great bell is ringing the half-hour before your
quarterly examination at college, while Locke, Lloyd, and Lucian are
dancing a reel through your brain, little short of madness; scarcely less
agreeable is it, to learn that your friend Captain Wildfire is at the
door in his cab, to accompany you to the Phoenix, to stand within twelve
paces of a cool gentleman who has been sitting with his arm in Eau de
Cologne for the last half-hour, that he may pick you out "artist-like."
There are, besides these, innumerable situations in which our
preparations of the night would appear, as none of the wisest; but I
prefer going at once to my own, which, although considerably inferior in
difficulty, was not without its own "desagremens."
When I awoke, therefore, on board the "Fire-fly," the morning after our
dinner-party, I was perfectly unable, by any mental process within my
reach, to discover where I was. On ship-board I felt I must be--the
narrow berth--the gilded and panelled cabin which met my eye, through my
half-open curtains, and that peculiar swelling motion inseparable from a
vessel in the water, all satisfied me of this fact. I looked about me,
but could see no one to give me the least idea of my position. Could it
be that we were on our way out to Corfu, and that I had been ill for some
time past?
But this cabin had little resemblance to a transport; perhaps it might be
a frigate--I knew not. Then again, were we sailing, or at anchor, for
the ship was nearly motionless; at this instant a tremendous noise like
thunder crashed through my head, and for a moment I expected we had
exploded, and would be all blown up; but an instant after I discovered it
must be the escape of the steam, and that I was on board a packet ship.
Here, then, was some clue to my situation, and one which would probably
have elicited all in due season; but just at this moment a voice on deck
saved me from any further calculations. Two persons were conversing
whose voices were not altogether unknown to me, but why I knew not.
"Then, Captain, I suppose you consider this as an excellent passage."
"Yes, of course I do," replied the captain, "it's only five hours since
we left Howth, and now you see we are nearly in; if we have this run of
the tide we shall reach the Head before twelve o'clock."
"Ha! ha!" said I to myself, "now I begin to learn something. So we have
crossed the channel while I was sleeping--not the least agreeable thing
for a man to hear who suffers martyrdom from sea sickness--but let me
listen again."
"And that large mountain there--is that Snowdon?"
"No. You cannot see Snowdon; there is too much mist about it; that
mountain is Capel Carrig; and there that bold bluff to the eastward, that
is Penmen Mawr."
"Come, there is no time to be lost," thought I; so springing out of my
berth, accoutred as I was, in merely trowsers and slippers, with a red
handkerchief fastened night-cap fashion round my head, I took my way
through the cabin.
My first thought on getting upon my legs was how tremendously the vessel
pitched, which I had not remarked while in my berth, but now I could
scarce keep myself from falling at every step. I was just about to call
the steward, when I again heard the voices on deck.
"You have but few passengers this trip."
"I think only yourself and a Captain Lorrequer," replied the captain,
"who, by-the-by, is losing all this fine coast, which is certainly a
great pity."
"He shall not do so much longer," thought I; "for as I find that there are
no other passengers, I'll make my toilet on deck, and enjoy the view
besides." With this determination I ascended slowly and cautiously the
companion ladder, and stepped out upon the deck; but scarcely had I done
so, when a roar of the loudest laughter made me turn my head towards the
poop, and there to my horror of horrors, I beheld Tom O'Flaherty seated
between two ladies, whose most vociferous mirth I soon perceived was
elicited at my expense.
All the party of the preceding night were also there, and as I turned
from their grinning faces to the land, I saw, to my shame and confusion,
that we were still lying beside the pier at Howth; while the band-boxes,
trunks, and imperials of new arrivals were incessantly pouring in, as
travelling carriages kept driving up to the place of embarkation. I
stood perfectly astounded and bewildered--shame for my ridiculous costume
would have made me fly at any other time--but there I remained to be
laughed at patiently, while that villain O'Flaherty leading me passively
forward, introduced me to his friends--"Mrs. Bingham, Mr. Lorrequer; Mr.
Lorrequer, Miss Bingham. Don't be prepossessed against him, ladies, for
when not in love, and properly dressed, he is a marvellously well-looking
young gentleman; and as--"
What the remainder of the sentence might be, I knew not, for I rushed
down into the cabin, and locking the door, never opened it till I could
perceive from the stern windows that we were really off on our way to
England, and recognized once more the laughing face of O'Flaherty, who,
as he waved his hat to his friends from the pier, reminded them that
"they were under the care and protection of his friend Lorrequer, who, he
trusted, would condescend to increase his wearing apparel under the
circumstances."