TELLS HOW I CHANGED MY LODGING AND LOST MY MARE
I mind me of a sad play once I saw, that is played now in a duke's
palace, and after in a glade within a forest, where one of the persons,
a noble youth whom his presumption hath caused to be banished from his
mistress, saith, "Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that." The
play is called a comedy because it ends upon delight, yet after a world
of heaviness encountered, and such thwarting of wills, as makes one
weep to behold. And perhaps when all's said, we do wrong to name
anything of this world tragical, seeing we cannot look to the end of
it, and indeed sometimes (one must suppose) a play is but half played
out here, and that the sad half with all the tears. 'Tis another hand
manages the curtain, and, alas! that the too soon dropping of it hath
made many to say in their hearts, "There is no God."
Much in this kind occupied my brain, when at length I was partially
recovered after my continued and grave sickness. I still lay abed,
taking babes' food and physick, and asking no questions, being yet too
weak for that, and so that I were left in peace, careful for nought
else. My body might have been another's, so little did it appear to
encumber me; a certain lightness and withal a sense of freedom from the
common restraints of life possessed me. I had, as it were, overpassed
the lists of experience, and become truly a new creature. In this
security and enfranchisement of my spirit I found an infinite, and my
only, pleasure in speculating upon the meaning of things I had never so
much as called in question hitherto, and then first perceived how wide
a gulf lay betwixt that a man may be and that a man must do. I saw all
bad but what rests still in idea, and bitterly condemned the
never-ending hurry of effort and business by which the course of life
is fouled, upward almost to her source.
This exalted mood lasted I think about a week, during which time I had
got to so high a pitch of philosophy as I cannot now think on for
blushing; settling my notions after my own fashion very conveniently,
and mighty intolerant of those currently held. But afterwards, that
is, about the tenth day of my clear mind, I suffered myself to descend
some way toward common sense, which to my surprise I found not so
disagreeable as might have been. Certain 'tis I still saw all in a
mist of phantasy, and different from what it truly was; but,
notwithstanding, it marked my first motion of health, and a recovery of
my heritage in the world. Once set on this road, I soon grew to be
restive of the remnant of malady which yet kept me weak, and began to
fear I should ne'er be able again. At times I would be melancholy and
fret by the hour at my pitiful lot; then again would fall to piecing
together the events that had preceded this my disease, but could not
get them orderly, or at the least, not whole.
At such a time it was that suddenly and without premonition, my memory
recovered the picture of that fair maid bending over me and murmuring,
"_Dear heart_!" I leapt up in bed on the instant, and would have had
on my clothes before any could hinder me, had not my impotence held me
without need of other prevention, and I sank back all dismayed.
Henceforward my mind had matter enough and to spare with the thoughts
of her alone. If I desired life now it was that I might continue to
think of her and of her manner of saying, "_Dear heart! how chill he
is!_" and "_Lo, the hurt he hath, poor lad!_" I swore I would not
exchange those two sentences for a barony, nor the look that went with
them for a prince's thanks. That word of thanks brought me to a wonder
how I might compass the tendering of my thanks to the maid herself,
whom (now I recollected it) I knew not so much as the name of, nor yet
her place of lodging. This consideration greatly staggered me, and had
nigh sent me into a fever again. But I told myself that it was very
certain I must find her in time (and being young, time seemed to be a
commodity inexhaustible), and so for that while the fever held off.
However, I had still intervals of despair which were black enough; but
hope ever ensuing and at each return in larger measure, upon the
balance I found comfort. And thus, responding to the text of the old
play I have before set down (though I had not then seen it played), I
also might have cried, "Hope is the lover's staff," and with that to
lean on I determined to walk thence without further delay.
Such were the interior passages (to call them so) of my sickness that
was now quite passed; for, with hope at length steadfast with me, it is
clear I lacked nothing of my perfect health, excepting only what strong
meat and sunlight would soon bring.
And so it was I felt myself ready to go upon a certain discovery I had
in mind (and did presently put into execution), which was to determine
precisely where in the world I might be! For the whiles I had lain
idle this question had intermittently perplexed me: my chamber being
very narrow and low, and bearing, I thought, small likeness to my room
in Mr. Malt's house, of which the window was a large and latticed one,
whereas this I now had was little and barred. My meals, too, were
served by a woman I could not remember to have seen; a pleasant,
bustling body, with a mouth widened by smiling and eyes narrowed by
shrewd discernment. But what troubled me more than all was a
persistent sound of water lapping about the house, which led me to
suppose I was somehow lodged upon an island; or else in the prison
beside the Fleet River--though I thought this could not well be.
Using more precaution, then, than I had done previously, I got out of
my bed, and sitting on the edge of it, was soon half dressed. The
exercise fatigued me but slightly, and as soon as I had my clothes on
completely I ventured across the floor (that was about an ell in
width), and leaned forth between the bars of the window...
I burst into laughter at the easy resolution of my doubts, which the
first view thence afforded me. For I was upon London Bridge, in one of
the houses that are builded thereupon, on either side of it. Below me
lay the narrow bridge-way that is spanned across by divers arches
(which be houses too), and is full, at most hours, as it was when I
beheld it, of people that cheapened stuffs and trinkets at the booths
there set up, or else hastened on, north or south continuously.
'Twas the strangest sight by far I had yet seen; this little
market-world above the waters, so straitened and fantastick, and withal
so intent and earnest upon its affairs, with never a thought to the
great shining river (its very cause and origin) that flowed scarce two
fathom beneath it. I stood awhile fairly entranced by the prospect,
and followed with my eyes every motion and frolick adventure. Thus,
there would be a fine lady that bought an infinite deal of scarlet
cloth, and a pannier-ass that, in turning, struck it from her arm and
unrolled the length of it, so that the ass continued on her way grave
as any judge, with her hoofs upon the cloth like a spread carpet, while
my lady stood by, bewailing her loss. Then there would be a company of
halberdiers that went by at a great swinging stride to quell some riot
(I heard one say) in Southwark by the Bear-garden. By and by, with
more noise, comes there a score of mariners that had left their galley
in the Pool, and after their late hardships on the sea seemed gone into
an excess of jollity, and sacked the shops for toys. Grey-haired
mercers that stood and conversed in groups, and coltish apprentices in
flat caps and suits of blue I noted, and otherwhiles dancers and
mountebanks with a host of idle folk following.
So engrossed indeed was I, that I did not hear the woman, that in the
meantime had entered my chamber, calling upon me to return to my bed;
until at length she enforced her command with a buffet on my shoulder.
"Thou art but a graceless lad to be chilling thy marrow at an open
window," she cried; yet I could see she was rather pleased than
wrathful to find me there.
"Nay, I am whole again, mistress," I answered quickly, and then looking
forth again, cried, "But who be those that go by in a troop, with great
bonnets on and red coats?"
"Why, who but the Queen's yeomen?" she said, and stood beside me to
catch a sight of them. "Ay, and there goes my husband's brother at
their head, their sergeant, and a proper soldier too, that hath seen
service abroad."
"Whither go they?" I asked, breathless for the pleasure I took in this
brave show.
"To the Tower, lad. But now, back to your couch, or at least to a
chair, for the goodman would speak with you."
"How came I to this house?" I asked, when I had left the window, "for I
remember nought of the matter."
"Enough of words," she laughed pleasantly. "And enough too that you be
here, and your rantings and ravings o'er. I tell you we were like to
have had the watch about us for harbouring a masterless rogue, so
impudently did your sick tongue wag; and that at all hours of the night
too."
She went away soon after, still laughing; for which I blessed her; it
being a comfortable exercise to laugh, and as comforting a sound to
hear. I was full dressed, and expecting the good Samaritan her husband
a while ere he came, which when he did, I found he was a man of brief
speech and one to be trusted. He began by asking how I did, and when I
told him I was quite recovered and thanked him for his charity, he put
up his hand.
"I did no more than your hurt required," he said. "'Twas fortunate we
had this room to lay you in, and a good physician near at hand upon the
Bridge. But now tell me (for I think it necessary I should know it)
how came you wounded?"
I told him all simply, seeing no reason why I should not, and the whole
affair of my uncle; to which he listened in silence, his eyes on my
face.
"My name is Gregory Nelson," he said, when I had done, "and of this
Bridge, where I have my lodging, I am one of the wardens. You may bide
here as long as you list, Master Cleeve, seeing that by this hellish
robbery of Skene's you should be nigh penniless, as you be also left
without friends to help you, unless it be that Mr. Malt accounts
himself so."
"I pay him for my lodging," I said, "but cannot claim any friendship
with him."
"Have you any goods left at his house?" he asked me, a little as though
he smiled inwardly.
"Some spare apparel I have there," I replied, "and a parcel of linen or
so, besides my mare."
"Seeing that you have been absent so long," said Master Nelson, "and
without warning, you may chance to find your chattels sold under a
sheriff's warrant against charges proved. Nay, that is lawful," he
added, seeing I made a motion of dissent, "and indeed you have been
near three weeks a truant."
This disclosure shocked me, and particularly when I reflected that my
father had no knowledge of anything that had occurred to me, nor yet
where I now lay. Two things I did therefore with all speed, first
writing a full account of the attorney, how he had robbed me, and of my
illness so much as I thought necessary; and secondly, going to Fetter
Lane in the hope to recover my goods. On this errand the warden would
by no means suffer me to go alone, and I for my part was very glad of
his arm to lean upon, as I was also of his companionship by the way.
In discourse I found him to be something more blunt than complacent,
and moreover to have set his notions, as it were, by the clock of his
profession. Thus, I chancing to speak of the great mansions of the
nobles that were frequent upon the bank about the Bridge-end, and
making mention of their power that lived therein, he answered me pretty
roundly that I was out.
"If there be two or three wise heads amongst them," said he, "there be
two or three score otherwise disposed. 'Tis a common error, master, to
belaud all alike and merely because their honours be similar. But I
say, let her Grace ennoble any the least considered merchant on Change,
and nought should go worse for it, but rather the better. I say
further, 'tis in the shops and among the great Companies of the City
that England's worthies are now to be found, and her advancement lieth
less in the Great Council to be debated on, than in Cheape to be
accomplished. But enough!" said he, with a little shake of his head.
"I am a servant of this City, and perhaps it is for that I have a bias
of thinking well of what the City doth. Yet few will be bold enough to
deny that we owe much to our great citizens and merchants, as to Sir
Richard Whittington in the old days, and later to Sir Thomas Gresham,
that very praise-worthy knight; not forgetting Mr. Lamb that brought
sweet water in a conduit to Holborn; nor Mr. Osborne, which was Mayor
two year since, and now is Governor of the famous Turkey Company by
charter of the Queen established."
"And what of the Queen's Grace herself?" quoth I, for my humour was not
a little tickled at this decrying of those in high estate, whose wisdom
and guidance we be commonly taught to extol. But at the Queen's name
Mr. Nelson had his cap off immediately.
"God bless her," he said very reverently, "and give her a mind to
perceive her own and her realm's, true good. And so He doth!" he broke
off vehemently, "and hath made her to be the greatest merchant of them
all! Ask Master Drake, else, whose partner and fellow-adventurer she
was when he sailed from Plymouth with but five poor ships, and returned
thence with such treasure of the Spaniards as it took two whole days to
discharge upon the quay."
In such converse we walked on, I straitly considering of these things
he told, whether indeed those mighty lords, whose names were in
everybody's mouth, were truly of less account than men trading in silk
and furs and spices, as he would have me believe; and whether, also,
overmuch service with the City Sheriffs had not worn out an esteem for
greater folk in this honest stout warden of London Bridge.
When at length we arrived at my old lodging in Fetter Lane, Mr. Nelson
said he would not enter, but would await me in the street, and so I
went in alone. I found Madam Malt in a chamber behind the shop, with
her daughters, and very busy upon a great piece, of needlework. She
looked up swiftly as I entered, but never a word she spake.
"I come to make account of my prolonged absence," said I, something out
of countenance for this unlooked for rebuff.
"Judith," said her mother, sharply, "go see whether my babe wakes yet;
Allison do this, and Maud do that," said she, and so emptied her bower
of the maids at a word, and left me standing.
"Lord!" quoth I low to myself, "I am come into the garden of the
Hesperides surely; yet I wist not that the Dragon was mother of them."
But aloud I said, "I am bound to thank you for the hospitality you
extended to me, Madam, the which I cannot well repay."
"I thought no less," replied the lady, without raising her eyes from
her work, "and therefore made application for distraint, which being
granted, I sold such stuff as you thought fit to leave and was not past
laundering."
"But there was my mare too," I cried.
"Ay, the poor jade," said she, "the knacker put a price upon her, but
it reached not to the value of a feed of oats, so I cried quits and
kept her."
"Then you have her yet?" quoth I.
"I have her not," quoth she, "for I gave her a gift to the parson of
St. Dunstan's Church that hath been very full of encouragement to us in
our trouble."
"Your trouble, Madam?" I began, but she proceeded with a terrible
quietness--
"'A preached a singular comfortable sermon two Sundays after your
stealing off, upon the text, 'Happy shall he be that rewardeth thee as
thou hast served us,' as would have melted the most shameless, Mr.
Denis."
"Let us hope it did then," said I, pretty tired of this oblique attack.
"He was not of the congregation, sir," she blazed out, her eyes on mine.
"He was," I retorted, "for he both preached the sermon and hath my
mare. But he shall give her me again, or else I will take her by
force."
"Ah, you would despoil the Church then, you heretick Turk!" cried the
lady in a thin, hissing voice that befitted the Dragon I had formerly
called her in my thoughts. "Was it not enough that you should creep
into a Christian household and steal all peace therefrom? What of the
looks you were ever casting upon my tender Judith, and she so apt at
her catechism and forward in works of grace. Your mare, quotha! What
of her pretty beseeching ways that no man hath seen but saith she is
rather Ruth than Judith--ay, and shall find her Boaz one day, I tell
you, in despite of your heathen wiles and treachery. So, fetch away
your beast from a churchman's stall, 'tis easy done every whit as get a
simple maid's heart; and then off and abroad, while she weeps at home,
poor lass! that is so diligent a sempstress withal, and her father's
prop of his age."
Whilst she was delivering this astonishing and very calumnious speech,
Madam Malt had arisen from her chair and now stood close above me,
wringing her hands that yet kept a hold of her piece of needlework, and
shaking with rage. She was a marvellous large woman, with a face
something loose-skinned about the jaw, and of a buff colour that
mounted to a brownness in the folds and wrinkles. Her voice, as I have
said, was very dragonlike, and her whole aspect and presence had
something of an apocalyptic terribleness that seemed to draw the clouds
about her as a garment. I see her yet in my dreams and awake
shuddering.
Once or twice I strove to interpose a denial in the flood of her
indictment, and to exonerate myself from her load of false charges, but
could nowise make myself heard, or at least heeded, and so gave it
over. Indeed, how all would have ended I know not, had not the infant
in a lucky hour awakened and lamentably demanded sustenance; whereupon
Judith running in (who I am persuaded had got no further than behind
the door-chink), the lady's thoughts were by the intelligence that her
daughter brought, most happily diverted from me. Judith regarded me
with one wistful glance, and then in the wake of the Dragon as she
swept from the room, this last of the Hesperides departed from me for
ever.
I stood some time very downcast, knowing not what to think, when the
door opening a small space, Mr. Richard's head was thrust in, his eyes
winking with merriment.
"So you have returned to us, Mr. Prodigal," he whispered, "and have
heard moreover how we take your leaving us so without ceremony as you
did. Nay, be not melancholy, man," he went on, coming beside me and
laying a hand upon my shoulder, "for we that use the playhouse and the
jolly tavern understand these things well enough. No need for words
where a nod sufficeth. But the women would have no men roysters, good
souls! nor hardly allow us the stretch of a lap-dog's leash to gambol
in. Eh!" he sang out in a pretty good mean voice, although from his
late drinking not well controlled:
"'Better place no wit can find
Cupid's yoke to loose or bind.'
But come you with me, Mr. Denis, one of these nights; for we be much of
an age, and should sort handsomely together, if I mistake not."
It lies upon my conscience now, that I neither thanked him for his
intention, which I am sure was friendly meant; nor yet kicked him out
of door for his manifest profligacy. But as it was, I went straight
past him, looking him full in the face the while, and out of the house.
His cheeks turned a sort of yellow white at this insult and at the
surprise of it, while his hand slipped to his belt for the sword he
commonly wore, but he had it not by him, as indeed he was all unready
and his whole dress disordered after such a night spent as he supposed
I should be willing to join him in another, the like of it.
I found Mr. Nelson without, who leaned very thoughtful against a post
by the door, and by my countenance I showed him plain enough the upshot
of that business.
"'Twas no more than I conceived likely," he said. "These hired
lodgings be all one."
Finding nothing convenient to return, I held my peace; and so we walked
slowly along Fleet Street, and over the hill by Paul's, to my new abode
upon the Bridge.