(_To the tune of "To Tommy."_)
BLUE BOBBY, brave and strong,
They begin to right your wrong.
Silent shoes, and now revolvers! That will do!
Now I hope you'll make things plain
To the brutal burglar train;
And, Bobby, _Punch's_ best respects to you!
May "tips" swell your smallish pay
On the coming Boxing Day;
(For I know they're rather screwy with your "screw.")
Shod and armed upon your round,
Heaven keep you safe and sound,
And, Bobby, JOHN BULL'S best respects to you!
* * * * *
THE LILLY'S LESSON.--Mr. LILLY, in the _New Review_, reminds DIVES
that "there is no excuse for riches which are divorced from public
obligation." This cuts deeply! Possibly DIVES would retort upon the
author of "Shibboleths" that riches _require_ no "excuse." At any
rate we do not often find men making excuses for being rich, though
apologies for poverty are common enough. All the same, _Mr. Punch_
would strongly recommend DIVES--especially at this festive season--to
"consider the (W. S.) LILLY"!
* * * * *
"A LONG BREAK."--_À propos_ of our picture in last week's issue, we
have received the following suggestion:--"Sir, if MR. GLADSTONE, the
great billiard player, wishes to continue his 'long break,' wouldn't
it be advisable for him '_to take a rest_.'--Yours truly, BREAKERS A.
HEAD."
* * * * *
[Illustration: AT THE COURTS OF JUSTICE.
_First Litigant._ "I'M BANKRUPTCY. WHAT ARE YOU?"
_Second L._ "I'M DIVORCE."
_First L._ "THEN YOU STAND LUNCH!"]
* * * * *