BICYCLE.--Thoroughly heavy, lumbering, out-of-date machine, recently
doctored up to look like new, for sale. Cost, second-hand, six years
ago. £4. Will take £12 for it. Bargain. Would suit a dyspeptic giant,
or a professional Strong Man in want of violent exercise.
SAFETY CYCLE.--Pneumatic tyres. A real beauty. Makers well known in
Bankruptcy Court. Owner giving up riding in consequence of the frame
being thoroughly unsafe, and the tyres constantly bursting. Would
exchange for one of BROADWOOD'S grand pianos or a freehold house in
the country.
TURKEY CARPET.--Never used, as seller is not an absolute fool.
Wretched condition guaranteed. As it has been kept for a year or
two in a mouldy attic at a second-hand furniture shop, it is simply
teeming with moths, but it is confidently anticipated that it will
not fall to pieces in time for a purchaser to detect the fraud. Price,
only double that of a first-rate new carpet of same kind.
RARE OPPORTUNITY.--A ten-pound note will buy my genuine Spiderette
Arabesque Dunmow Beestof a Patent Safety Tricycle. Weighs only sixteen
ounces. Seventy-four championships won on it, including that of Sierra
Leone. Runs away up-hill. Impossible to stop it down-hill. Folds into
a small biscuit tin. Every part equally fragile. A collar-bone and six
ribs broken off it in one week's practise. Made at Coventry, and ought
to be sent there. First applicant has it.
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[Illustration: "A MESSAGE FROM THE SEA."
FATHER NEPTUNE. "LOOK HERE, JOHN, THERE'S A JOLLY SIGHT O' THEM
FURRIN' CRAFT ABOUT, TAKE A TIP FROM YOUR OLD FRIEND--BUILD ALL YOU
KNOW--AND _DASH_ THE EXPENSE!"]
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