Oh Bedpan! Implement of woe
To one who is compelled to go
In bed. Whence camest thou?
Who first thought to make of thee a plan
To minister to urgent need of man?
No mind celestial ever gave thee birth.
No human science ever tried to break
The law by Isaac Newton found,
And make go up what should go down.
Let thine own anatomy quite frankly speak!
Whether of clay or agate it is clearly read
That fires Satanic were thy natal bed.
Thou art a stolen quadrate, I know full well,
From the tessellated pavement of deepest Hell.
I have since used these words to cheer up suffering humans who rebel
at fate and the unnecessary crimes of brutal attendants, which are the
results of doctors’ orders.
Mr. Harper has written of his remarkable experiences in a calm,
humorous and analytical spirit. I recommend his story to professional
and lay readers alike.