SERGEANT. "Oh, that's by Perkins, sir--quite an expert. Used to paint
sparrows before the war and sell 'em for canaries."]
No record of the month would be complete without notice of the unique way
in which the Fourth of July has been celebrated by John Bull and Uncle Sam
in France. Truly such a meeting as this does make amends.
_August, 1918_.
July was a glorious month for the Allies, and August is even better. It
began with the recovery of Soissons; a week later it was the turn of the
British, and Sir Douglas Haig struck hard on the Amiens front; since then
the enemy have been steadily driven back by the unrelenting pressure of the
Allies, Bapaume and Noyon have been recaptured, and with their faces set
for home the Germans have learnt to recognise in a new and unpleasant sense
the truth of the Kaiser's saying, "The worst is behind us." The 8th of
August was a bad day for Germany, for it showed that the counter-offensive
was not to be confined to one section; that henceforth no respite would be
allowed from hammer-blows. The German High Command endeavours to
tranquillise the German people by _communiqués_, the gist of which may
thus be rendered in verse:
In those very identical regions
That sunder the Marne from the Aisne
We advanced to the rear with our legions
Long ago and have done it again;
Fools murmur of errors committed,
But every intelligent man
Has accepted the view that we flitted
According to plan.
The French rivers have found their voice again:
'Twas the voice of the Marne
That began it with "Garn!
Full speed, Fritz, astarn!"
Then the Ourcq and the Crise
Sang "Move on, if you please."
The Ardre and the Vesle
Took up the glad tale,
And cried to the Aisne
"Wash out the Hun stain."
So all the way back from the Marne the French rivers
Have given the Boches in turn the cold shivers.
[Illustration: "ACCORDING TO PLAN"
LITTLE WILLIE: "Well, Father wanted a war of movement, and now he's got
it!"]
[Illustration: VON POT AND VON KETTLE
GERMAN GENERAL: "Why the devil don't you stop these Americans coming
across? That's your job."
GERMAN ADMIRAL: "And why the devil don't you stop 'em when they _are_
across? That's yours."]
[Illustration:
CHILD (who has been made much of by father home on leave for the first time
for two years): "Mummy dear, I like that man you call your husband."]
Hindenburg has confided to a newspaper correspondent that the German people
need to develop the virtue of patience. According to the _Berliner
Tageblatt_ he has declared that he was not in favour of the July
offensive. Ludendorff, on the other hand, may fairly point out that it
isn't his offensive any longer. Anyhow, Hindenburg is fairly entitled to
give Ludendorff the credit of it since Ludendorff's friends have always
said that he supplied the old Mud-Marshal with brains. The amenities of
the High Command are growing lively, since the Navy is also concerned,
and the failure of the U-boats to check the influx of American troops
needs a lot of explaining away. The good news from the Front has been
received at home with remarkable composure, when one considers the
acute anxiety of the last four months. But it is the way of England to
endure felicity with calmness and adversity with fortitude. In the House of
Lords Lord Inchcape and Lord Emmott have been propitiating Nemesis by their
warnings of the gloomy financial future that is in store for us, while in
the Commons the Bolshevist group below the gangway are apparently much
perturbed by the prospect that Russia may be helped on to her legs again by
the Allies. Mr. Dillon's indictment of the Government for their treatment
of Ireland has had, however, a welcome if unexpected result. Mr. Shortt,
the new Chief Secretary, an avowed and unrepentant Home Ruler, has been
telling Mr. Dillon's followers a few plain truths about themselves: that
they have made no effort to turn the Home Rule Act into a practical
measure; that instead of denouncing Sinn Fein they had followed its lead;
that they had attacked the Irish executive when they ought to have
supported it, and by their refusal to help recruiting had forfeited the
sympathy of the British working classes. Mr. Lloyd George, in his review
of the War, warned the peacemongers not to expect their efforts to
succeed until the enemy knew he was beaten, but vouchsafed no information
as to his alleged intention to go to the country in the political sense.
In spite of the Premier's warning the Pacificists made another futile
attempt on the very next day to convince the House that the Germans were
ready to make an honest peace if only our Government would listen to it.
They were well answered by Mr. Robertson, who was a Pacificist himself
until this War converted him, and by Mr. Balfour, who declared that we
were quite ready to talk to Germany as soon as she showed any sign of
a change of heart. Up to the present there has been no sign of it.
Food is still the universal topic. Small green apples, says a contemporary,
are proving popular. A boy correspondent, however, desires Mr. Punch to say
that he has a little inside information to the contrary. Nottingham
children, it is stated, are to be paid 3d. a pound for gathering
blackberries, but they are not to use their own receptacles. Captain
Amundsen is on his way to the Pole, but we fear that he will not find any
cheese there. The vocabulary of food control has even made its way to the
nursery. A small girl on being informed by her nurse that a new little baby
brother had come to live with her promptly replied: "Well, he can't stay
unless he's brought his coupons."
[Illustration: