allow'd to do in the Way of his Business whatever he is paid for, yet
Printers do continually discourage the Printing of great Numbers of bad
things, and stifle them in the Birth. I my self have constantly refused
to print anything that might countenance Vice, or promote Immorality;
tho' by complying in such Cases with the corrupt Taste of the Majority I
might have got much Money. I have also always refus'd to print such
things as might do real Injury to any Person, how much soever I have
been solicited, and tempted with Offers of Great Pay; and how much
soever I have by refusing got the Ill-will of those who would have
employ'd me. I have hitherto fallen under the Resentment of large Bodies
of Men, for refusing absolutely to print any of their Party or Personal
Reflections. In this Manner I have made my self many Enemies, and the
constant Fatigue of denying is almost insupportable. But the Publick
being unacquainted with all this, whenever the poor Printer happens
either through Ignorance or much Persuasion, to do any thing that is
generally thought worthy of Blame, he meets with no more Friendship or
Favour on the above Account, than if there were no Merit in't at all.
Thus, as Waller says,
Poets lose half the Praise they would have got
Were it but known what they discreetly blot;
Yet are censur'd for every bad Line found in their Works with the utmost
Severity.
I come now to the Particular Case of the N. B. above mention'd, about
which there has been more Clamour against me, than ever before on any
other Account.--In the Hurry of other Business an Advertisement was
brought to me to be printed; it signified that such a Ship lying at such
a Wharff, would sail for Barbadoes in such a Time, and that Freighters
and Passengers might agree with the Captain at such a Place; so far is
what's common: But at the Bottom this odd Thing was added, "N. B. No Sea
Hens nor Black Gowns will be admitted on any Terms." I printed it, and
receiv'd my Money; and the Advertisement was stuck up round the Town as
usual. I had not so much Curiosity at that time as to enquire the
Meaning of it, nor did I in the least imagine it would give so much
Offence. Several good Men are very angry with me on this Occasion; they
are pleas'd to say I have too much Sense to do such things ignorantly;
that if they were Printers they would not have done such a thing on any
Consideration; that it could proceed from nothing but my abundant Malice
against Religion and the Clergy. They therefore declare they will not
take any more of my Papers, nor have any farther Dealings with me; but
will hinder me of all the Custom they can. All this is very hard!
I believe it had been better if I had refused to print the said
Advertisement. However, 'tis done, and cannot be revok'd. I have only
the following few Particulars to offer, some of them in my behalf, by
way of Mitigation, and some not much to the Purpose; but I desire none
of them may be read when the Reader is not in a very good Humour.
1. That I really did it without the least Malice, and imagin'd the N. B.
was plac'd there only to make the Advertisement star'd at, and more
generally read.
2. That I never saw the Word Sea-Hens before in my Life; nor have I yet
ask'd the meaning of it; and tho' I had certainly known that Black Gowns
in that place signified the Clergy of the Church of England, yet I have
that confidence in the generous good Temper of such of them as I know,
as to be well satisfied such a trifling mention of their Habit gives
them no Disturbance.
3. That most of the Clergy in this and the neighbouring Provinces, are
my Customers, and some of them my very good Friends; and I must be very
malicious indeed, or very stupid, to print this thing for a small
Profit, if I had thought it would have given them just Cause of Offence.
4. That if I had much Malice against the Clergy, and withal much Sense;
'tis strange I never write or talk against the Clergy myself. Some have
observed that 'tis a fruitful Topic, and the easiest to be witty upon of
all others; yet I appeal to the Publick that I am never guilty this way,
and to all my Acquaintances as to my Conversation.
5. That if a Man of Sense had Malice enough to desire to injure the
Clergy, this is the foolishest Thing he could possibly contrive for that
Purpose.
6. That I got Five Shillings by it.
7. That none who are angry with me would have given me so much to let it
alone.
8. That if all the People of different Opinions in this Province would
engage to give me as much for not printing things they don't like, as I
can get by printing them, I should probably live a very easy Life; and
if all Printers were everywhere so dealt by, there would be very little
printed.
9. That I am oblig'd to all who take my Paper, and am willing to think
they do it out of meer Friendship. I only desire they would think the
same when I deal with them. I thank those who leave off, that they have
taken it so long. But I beg they would not endeavour to dissuade others,
for that will look like Malice.
10. That 'tis impossible any Man should know what he would do if he was
a Printer.
11. That notwithstanding the Rashness and Inexperience of Youth, which
is most likely to be prevail'd with to do things that ought not to be
done; yet I have avoided printing such Things as usually give Offence
either to Church or State, more than any Printer that has followed the
Business in this Province before.
12. And lastly, That I have printed above a Thousand Advertisements
which made not the least mention of _Sea-Hens_ or _Black Gowns_, and
this being the first Offence, I have the more Reason to expect
Forgiveness.
I take leave to conclude with an old Fable, which some of my Readers
have heard before, and some have not.
"A certain well-meaning Man and his Son, were travelling
towards a Market Town, with an Ass which they had to sell.
The Road was bad; and the old Man therefore rid, but the Son
went a-foot. The first Passenger they met, asked the Father
if he was not ashamed to ride by himself, and suffer the
poor Lad to wade along thro' the Mire; this induced him to
take up his Son behind him: He had not travelled far, when
he met others, who said, they are two unmerciful Lubbers to
get both on the Back of that poor Ass, in such a deep Road.
Upon this the old Man gets off, and let his Son ride alone.
The next they met called the Lad a graceless, rascally young
Jackanapes, to ride in that Manner thro' the Dirt, while his
aged Father trudged along on Foot; and they said the old Man
was a Fool, for suffering it. He then bid his Son come down,
and walk with him, and they travell'd on leading the Ass by
the Halter; 'till they met another Company, who called them
a Couple of senseless Blockheads, for going both on Foot in
such a dirty Way, when they had an empty Ass with them,
which they might ride upon. The old Man could bear no
longer; My Son, said he, it grieves me much that we cannot
please all these People. Let me throw the Ass over the next
Bridge, and be no further troubled with him."
Had the old Man been seen acting this last Resolution, he would probably
have been called a Fool for troubling himself about the different
Opinions of all that were pleas'd to find Fault with him: Therefore,
tho' I have a Temper almost as complying as his, I intend not to imitate
him in this last Particular. I consider the Variety of Humors among Men,
and despair of pleasing every Body; yet I shall not therefore leave off
Printing. I shall continue my Business. I shall not burn my Press and
melt my Letters.
PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1733
COURTEOUS READER,
I might in this place attempt to gain thy Favour, by declaring that I
write Almanacks with no other View than that of the publick Good; but in
this I should not be sincere; and Men are now adays too wise to be
deceiv'd by Pretences how specious soever. The plain Truth of the Matter
is, I am excessive poor, and my Wife, good Woman, is, I tell her,
excessive proud; she cannot bear, she says, to sit spinning in her Shift
of Tow, while I do nothing but gaze at the Stars; and has threatned more
than once to burn all my Books and Rattling-Traps (as she calls my
Instruments) if I do not make some profitable Use of them for the Good
of my Family. The Printer has offer'd me some considerable share of the
Profits, and I have thus begun to comply with my Dame's Desire.
Indeed this Motive would have had Force enough to have made me publish
an Almanack many Years since, had it not been overpowered by my Regard
for my good Friend and Fellow Student Mr. _Titan Leeds_, whose Interest
I was extreamly unwilling to hurt: But this Obstacle (I am far from
speaking it with Pleasure) is soon to be removed, since inexorable
Death, who was never known to respect Merit, has already prepared the
mortal Dart, the fatal Sister has already extended her destroying
Shears, and that ingenious Man must soon be taken from us. He dies, by
my Calculation made at his Request, on Oct. 17. 1733. 3 h. 29 m. P. M.
at the very instant of the [Conjunction] of [Sun] and [Mercury]: By his
own Calculation he will survive till the 26th of the same Month.[26]
This small Difference between us we have disputed whenever we have met
these 9 Years past; but at length he is inclinable to agree with my
Judgment: Which of us is most exact, a little Time will now determine.
As therefore these Provinces may not longer expect to see any of his
Performances after this Year, I think my self free to take up the Task,
and request a share of the publick Encouragement; which I am the more
apt to hope for on this Account, that the Buyer of my Almanack may
consider himself, not only as purchasing an useful Utensil, but as
performing an Act of Charity, to his poor _Friend and Servant_
R. SAUNDERS.
A MEDITATION ON A QUART MUGG[27]
[From the _Pennsylvania Gazette_, July 19, 1733.]
Wretched, miserable, and unhappy Mug! I pity thy luckless Lot, I
commiserate thy Misfortunes, thy Griefs fill me with Compassion, and
because of thee are Tears made frequently to burst from my Eyes.
How often have I seen him compell'd to hold up his Handle at the Bar,
for no other Crime than that of being empty; then snatch'd away by a
surly Officer, and plung'd suddenly into a Tub of cold Water: Sad
Spectacle, and Emblem of human Penury, oppress'd by arbitrary Power! How
often is he hurry'd down into a dismal Vault, sent up fully laden in a
cold Sweat, and by a rude Hand thrust into the Fire! How often have I
seen it obliged to undergo the Indignities of a dirty Wench; to have
melting Candles dropt on its naked Sides, and sometimes in its Mouth, to
risque being broken into a thousand Pieces, for Actions which itself was
not guilty of! How often is he forced into the Company of boisterous
Sots, who lay all their nonsence, Noise, profane Swearing, Cursing, and
Quarreling, on the harmless Mug, which speaks not a Word! They overset
him, maim him, and sometimes turn him to Arms offensive or defensive, as
they please; when of himself he would not be of either Party, but would
as willingly stand still. Alas! what Power, or Place, is provided, where
this poor Mug, this unpitied Slave, can have Redress of his Wrongs and
Sufferings? Or where shall he have a Word of Praise bestow'd on him for
his Well doings, and faithful Services? If he prove of a large size, his
Owner curses him, and says he will devour more than he'll earn: If his
Size be small, those whom his Master appoints him to serve will curse
him as much, and perhaps threaten him with the Inquisition of the
Standard. Poor Mug, unfortunate is thy Condition! Of thy self thou
wouldst do no Harm, but much Harm is done with thee! Thou art accused of
many Mischiefs; thou art said to administer Drunkenness, Poison, and
broken Heads: But none praise thee for the good Things thou yieldest!
Shouldest thou produce double Beer, nappy Ale, stallcop Cyder, or Cyder
mull'd, fine Punch, or cordial Tiff; yet for all these shouldst thou not
be prais'd, but the rich Liquors themselves, which tho' within thee,
will be said to be foreign to thee! And yet, so unhappy is thy Destiny,
thou must bear all their Faults and Abominations! Hast thou been
industriously serving thy Employers with Tiff or Punch, and instantly
they dispatch thee for Cyder, then must thou be abused for smelling of
Rum. Hast thou been steaming their Noses gratefully, with mull'd Cyder
or butter'd Ale, and then offerest to refresh their Palates with the
best of Beer, they will curse thee for thy Greasiness. And how, alas!
can thy Service be rendered more tolerable to thee? If thou submittest
thyself to a Scouring in the Kitchen, what must thou undergo from sharp
Sand, hot Ashes, and a coarse Dishclout; besides the Danger of having
thy Lips rudely torn, thy Countenance disfigured, thy Arms dismantled,
and thy whole Frame shatter'd, with violent Concussions in an Iron Pot
or Brass Kettle! And yet, O Mug! if these Dangers thou escapest, with
little Injury, thou must at last untimely fall, be broken to Pieces, and
cast away, never more to be recollected and form'd into a Quart Mug.
Whether by the Fire, or in a Battle, or choak'd with a Dishclout, or by
a Stroke against a Stone, thy Dissolution happens; 'tis all alike to thy
avaritious Owner; he grieves not for thee, but for the Shilling with
which he purchased thee! If thy Bottom Part should chance to survive, it
may be preserv'd to hold bits of Candles, or Blacking for Shoes, or
Salve for kibed Heels; but all thy other Members will be for ever buried
in some miry Hole; or less carefully disposed of, so that little
Children, who have not yet arrived to Acts of Cruelty, may gather them
up to furnish out their Baby Houses: Or, being cast upon the Dunghill,
they will therewith be carted into Meadow Grounds; where, being spread
abroad and discovered, they must be thrown to the Heap of Stones, Bones
and Rubbish; or being left until the Mower finds them with his Scythe,
they will with bitter Curses be tossed over the Hedge; and so serve for
unlucky Boys to throw at Birds and Dogs; until by Length of Time and
numerous Casualties, they shall be press'd into their Mother Earth, and
be converted to their original Principles.
PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1734
COURTEOUS READERS,
Your kind and charitable Assistance last Year, in purchasing so large an
Impression of my Almanacks, has made my Circumstances much more easy in
the World, and requires my grateful Acknowledgment. My Wife has been
enabled to get a Pot of her own, and is no longer oblig'd to borrow one
from a Neighbour; nor have we ever since been without something of our
own to put in it. She has also got a pair of Shoes, two new Shifts, and
a new warm Petticoat; and for my part, I have bought a second-hand Coat,
so good, that I am now not asham'd to go to Town or be seen there. These
Things have render'd her Temper so much more pacifick than it us'd to
be, that I may say, I have slept more, and more quietly within this last
Year, than in the three foregoing Years put together. Accept my hearty
Thanks therefor, and my sincere Wishes for your Health and Prosperity.
In the Preface to my last Almanack, I foretold the Death of my dear old
Friend and Fellow-Student, the learned and ingenious Mr. _Titan Leeds_,
which was to be on the 17th of _October_, 1733, 3 h. 29 m. P. M. at the
very Instant of the [Conjunction] of [Sun] and [Mercury]. By his own
Calculation he was to survive till the 26th of the same Month, and
expire in the Time of the Eclipse, near 11 o'clock A. M. At which of
these Times he died, or whether he be really yet dead, I cannot at this
present Writing positively assure my Readers; forasmuch as a Disorder in
my own Family demanded my Presence, and would not permit me as I had
intended, to be with him in his last Moments, to receive his last
Embrace, to close his Eyes, and do the Duty of a Friend in performing
the last Offices to the Departed. Therefore it is that I cannot
positively affirm whether he be dead or not; for the Stars only show to
the Skilful, what will happen in the natural and universal Chain of
Causes and Effects; but 'tis well known, that the Events which would
otherwise certainly happen at certain Times in the Course of Nature are
sometimes set aside or postpon'd for wise and good Reasons by the
immediate particular Dispositions of Providence; which particular
Dispositions the Stars can by no Means discover or foreshow. There is
however (and I cannot speak it without Sorrow) there is the strongest
Probability that my dear Friend is _no more_; for there appears in his
Name, as I am assured, an Almanack for the Year 1734, in which I am
treated in a very gross and unhandsome Manner; in which I am called _a
false Predicter_, _an Ignorant_, _a conceited Scribler_, _a Fool_, _and
a Lyar_. Mr. _Leeds_ was too well bred to use any Man so indecently and
so scurrilously, and moreover his Esteem and Affection for me was
extraordinary: So that it is to be feared that Pamphlet may be only a
Contrivance of somebody or other, who hopes perhaps to sell two or three
Year's Almanacks still, by the sole Force and Virtue of Mr. _Leeds's_
Name; but certainly, to put Words into the Mouth of a Gentleman and a
Man of Letters, against his Friend, which the meanest and most
scandalous of the People might be asham'd to utter even in a drunken
Quarrel, is an unpardonable Injury to his Memory, and an Imposition upon
the Publick.
Mr. _Leeds_ was not only profoundly skilful in the useful Science he
profess'd, but he was a Man of _exemplary Sobriety_, a most _sincere
Friend_, and an _exact Performer of his Word_. These valuable
Qualifications, with many others so much endear'd him to me, that
although it should be so, that, contrary to all Probability, contrary to
my Prediction and his own, he might possibly be yet alive, yet my Loss
of Honour as a Prognosticator, cannot afford me so much Mortification,
as his Life, Health and Safety would give me Joy and Satisfaction.
I am, _Courteous and Kind Reader
Your poor Friend and Servant,_
Octob. 30. 1733. R. SAUNDERS.
PREFACE TO POOR RICHARD, 1735
COURTEOUS READER,
This is the third Time of my appearing in print, hitherto very much to
my own Satisfaction, and, I have reason to hope, to the Satisfaction of
the Publick also; for the Publick is generous, and has been very
charitable and good to me. I should be ungrateful then, if I did not
take every Opportunity of expressing my Gratitude; for _ingratum si
dixeris, omnia dixeris_: I therefore return the Publick my most humble
and hearty Thanks.
Whatever may be the Musick of the Spheres, how great soever the Harmony
of the Stars, 'tis certain there is no Harmony among the Stargazers; but
they are perpetually growling and snarling at one another like strange
Curs, or like some Men at their Wives: I had resolved to keep the Peace
on my own part, and affront none of them; and I shall persist in that
Resolution: But having receiv'd much Abuse from _Titan Leeds_ deceas'd
(_Titan Leeds_ when living would not have us'd me so!) I say, having
receiv'd much Abuse from the Ghost of _Titan Leeds_, who pretends to be
still living, and to write Almanacks in Spight of me and my Predictions,
I cannot help saying, that tho' I take it patiently, I take it very
unkindly. And whatever he may pretend, 'tis undoubtedly true that he is
really defunct and dead. First because the Stars are seldom
disappointed, never but in the Case of wise Men, _sapiens dominabitur
astris_, and they foreshow'd his Death at the Time I predicted it.
Secondly, 'Twas requisite and necessary he should die punctually at that
Time, for the Honour of Astrology, the Art professed both by him and his
Father before him. Thirdly, 'Tis plain to every one that reads his last
two Almanacks (for 1734 and 35) that they are not written with that
_Life_ his Performances use to be written with; the Wit is low and flat,
the little Hints dull and spiritless, nothing smart in them but
_Hudibras's_ Verses against Astrology at the Heads of the Months in the
last, which no Astrologer but a _dead one_ would have inserted, and no
Man _living_ would or could write such Stuff as the rest. But lastly I
convince him in his own Words, that he is dead (_ex ore suo condemnatus
est_) for in his Preface to his Almanack for 1734, he says "_Saunders
adds another_ GROSS FALSHOOD _in his Almanack, viz. that by my own
Calculation I shall survive until the 26th of the said Month October
1733, which is as untrue as the former_." Now if it be, as Leeds says,
_untrue_ and a _gross Falshood_ that he surviv'd till the 26th of
October 1733, then it is certainly _true_ that he died _before_ that
Time: And if he died before that Time, he is dead now, to all Intents
and Purposes, any thing he may say to the contrary notwithstanding. And
at what Time before the 26th is it so likely he should die, as at the
Time by me predicted, _viz._ the 17th of October aforesaid? But if some
People will walk and be troublesome after Death, it may perhaps be born
with a little, because it cannot well be avoided unless one would be at
the Pains and Expence of laying them in the _Red Sea_; however, they
should not presume too much upon the Liberty allow'd them; I know
Confinement must needs be mighty irksome to the free Spirit of an
Astronomer, and I am too compassionate to proceed suddenly to
Extremities with it; nevertheless, tho' I resolve with Reluctance, I
shall not long defer, if it does not speedily learn to treat its living
Friends with better Manners,
I am, _Courteous Reader, your obliged Friend and Servant_
Octob. 30. 1734 R. SAUNDERS.
HINTS FOR THOSE THAT WOULD BE RICH
[October, 1736--From _Poor Richard_, 1737]
The Use of Money is all the Advantage there is in having Money.
For £6 a Year you may have the Use of £100 if you are a Man of known
Prudence and Honesty.
He that spends a Groat a day idly, spends idly above £6 a year, which is
the Price of using £100.
He that wastes idly a Groat's worth of his Time per Day, one Day with
another, wastes the Privilege of using £100 each Day.
He that idly loses 5s. worth of time, loses 5s. and might as prudently
throw 5s. in the River.
He that loses 5s. not only loses that Sum, but all the Advantage that
might be made by turning it in Dealing, which, by the time that a young
Man becomes old, amounts to a comfortable Bag of Money.
_Again_, He that sells upon Credit, asks a Price for what he sells
equivalent to the Principal and Interest of his Money for the Time he is
like to be kept out of it: therefore He that buys upon Credit, pays
Interest for what he buys. And he that pays ready Money, might let that
Money out to Use; so that He that possesses any Thing he has bought,
pays Interest for the Use of it.
_Consider then_ when you are tempted to buy any unnecessary
Householdstuff, or any superfluous thing, whether you will be willing to
pay _Interest, and Interest upon Interest_ for it as long as you live;
and more if it grows worse by using.
_Yet, in buying goods, 'tis best to pay Ready Money, because_, He that
sells upon Credit, expects to lose _5 per Cent_ by bad Debts; therefore
he charges, on all he sells upon Credit, an Advance that shall make up
for that Deficiency.
Those who pay for what they buy upon Credit, pay their Share of this
Advance.
He that pays ready Money, escapes or may escape that Charge.
A Penny sav'd is Twopence clear,
A Pin a Day is a Groat a Year.
TO JOSIAH FRANKLIN[28]
Philadelphia, April 13, 1738.
HONOURED FATHER,
I have your favours of the 21st of March, in which you both seem
concerned lest I have imbibed some erroneous opinions. Doubtless I have
my share; and when the natural weakness and imperfection of human
understanding is considered, the unavoidable influence of education,
custom, books, and company upon our ways of thinking, I imagine a man
must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of
boldness who affirms, that all the doctrines he holds are true, and all
he rejects are false. And perhaps the same may be justly said of every
sect, church, and society of men, when they assume to themselves that
infallibility, which they deny to the Pope and councils.
I think opinions should be judged of by their influences and effects;
and, if a man holds none that tend to make him less virtuous or more
vicious, it may be concluded he holds none that are dangerous; which I
hope is the case with me.
I am sorry you should have any uneasiness on my account; and if it were
a thing possible for one to alter his opinions in order to please
another, I know none whom I ought more willingly to oblige in that
respect than yourselves. But, since it is no more in a man's power to
_think_ than to _look_ like another, methinks all that should be
expected from me is to keep my mind open to conviction, to hear
patiently and examine attentively, whatever is offered me for that end;
and, if after all I continue in the same errors, I believe your usual
charity will induce you to rather pity and excuse, than blame me. In the
mean time your care and concern for me is what I am very thankful for.