(_In the Hot Room, St. Stephen's Baths,
Westminster._)
_Bath-Man, loquitur:_--
Pouf! 'Tis slow work! Were I a Turk,
Fancy I'd put it through more expeditiously!
Poor little Bills! Funkiness fills
All their small souls! See 'em glancing suspiciously,
Timid and torrid! Finding it horrid
Waiting their turns for shampooing and plunging
Parboiled and limp, each, as a shrimp;
No great result for my long scurryfunging!!!
Faith, I _am_ tired! Been much admired
For my long patience with Big BILLY BUDGET.
_He_ got it hot! Worrying lot
Some of these fellows. But BILLY will trudge it
Pretty soon, now. _Splosh!!!_ What a row!
BILLY is bulky, and makes a big splashing.
Head-first he goes, kicks up his toes,--
All that is left after boiling and washing.
Thanks be _he's_ through! What'll I do
Next, and which of 'em in waiting seems readiest?
I'm so restricted! Little "EVICTED,"
Small Irish bhoy, seems I fancy the steadiest.
"EQUALISATION?" _His_ perspiration
Something prodigious, and yet--well--the other!--
Oh! English, Scotch, Welsh, they all look like squelch,
And the task of selection is truly a bother!
Had I free choice,--Ah! but _my_ voice
Only counts one nowadays in selection.
BALFOUR & CO.--_they_ run the show;
Matter I think for most urgent reflection.
They arrogate questions of date,
They set the time, and the tempera_ture_ too.
If I insist, well, they'll resist,
Get their way, too, in the long run,--ah! sure to!
Nice state o' things! Wish I had wings!
Much rather boss small Bath by the Bosphorus!
Sixes and sevens now at St. Stephen's!
Running it all the year round at a loss--for us!
Look at 'em there, each on his chair,
Wobbly, perspiring and weary o' waiting!
Might have been done, every one,
But for Balfourian procrastinating.
Rum-looking lot! Don't they seem hot?
Little "EVICTED," young "EQUALISATION."
Quite in a stew. The _other_ two,--
Well, 'tis complete discumboblification!
Must make my choice! Waiting my voice!
Gentlemen please--Mr.--ahem! Oh! thunder!
They _all_ pop up, prompt as a Krupp.
_Which had I better first call in I wonder?_
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