CHAPTER V

I had been again with my mother, but except Mrs. Meldrum and the gleam of

France had not found at Folkestone my old resources and pastimes. Mrs.

Meldrum, much edified by my report of the performances, as she called

them, in my studio, had told me that to her knowledge Flora would soon be

on the straw: she had cut from her capital such fine fat slices that

there was almost nothing more left to swallow. Perched on her breezy

cliff the good lady dazzled me as usual by her universal light: she knew

so much more about everything and everybody than I could ever squeeze out

of my colour-tubes. She knew that Flora was acting on system and

absolutely declined to be interfered with: her precious reasoning was

that her money would last as long as she should need it, that a

magnificent marriage would crown her charms before she should be really

pinched. She had a sum put by for a liberal outfit; meanwhile the proper

use of the rest was to decorate her for the approaches to the altar, keep

her afloat in the society in which she would most naturally meet her

match. Lord Iffield had been seen with her at Lucerne, at Cadenabbia;

but it was Mrs. Meldrum's conviction that nothing was to be expected of

him but the most futile flirtation. The girl had a certain hold of him,

but with a great deal of swagger he hadn't the spirit of a sheep: he was

in fear of his father and would never commit himself in Lord Considine's

lifetime. The most Flora might achieve was that he wouldn't marry some

one else. Geoffrey Dawling, to Mrs. Meldrum's knowledge (I had told her

of the young man's visit) had attached himself on the way back from Italy

to the Hammond Synge group. My informant was in a position to be

definite about this dangler; she knew about his people; she had heard of

him before. Hadn't he been a friend of one of her nephews at Oxford?

Hadn't he spent the Christmas holidays precisely three years before at

her brother-in-law's in Yorkshire, taking that occasion to get himself

refused with derision by wilful Betty, the second daughter of the house?

Her sister, who liked the floundering youth, had written to her to

complain of Betty, and that the young man should now turn up as an

appendage of Flora's was one of those oft-cited proofs that the world is

small and that there are not enough people to go round. His father had

been something or other in the Treasury; his grandfather on the mother's

side had been something or other in the Church. He had come into the

paternal estate, two or three thousand a year in Hampshire; but he had

let the place advantageously and was generous to four plain sisters who

lived at Bournemouth and adored him. The family was hideous all round,

but the very salt of the earth. He was supposed to be unspeakably

clever; he was fond of London, fond of books, of intellectual society and

of the idea of a political career. That such a man should be at the same

time fond of Flora Saunt attested, as the phrase in the first volume of

Gibbon has it, the variety of his inclinations. I was soon to learn that

he was fonder of her than of all the other things together. Betty, one

of five and with views above her station, was at any rate felt at home to

have dished herself by her perversity. Of course no one had looked at

her since and no one would ever look at her again. It would be eminently

desirable that Flora should learn the lesson of Betty's fate.

I was not struck, I confess, with all this in my mind, by any symptom on

our young lady's part of that sort of meditation. The one moral she saw

in anything was that of her incomparable aspect, which Mr. Dawling,

smitten even like the railway porters and the cabmen by the doom-dealing

gods, had followed from London to Venice and from Venice back to London

again. I afterwards learned that her version of this episode was

profusely inexact: his personal acquaintance with her had been determined

by an accident remarkable enough, I admit, in connexion with what had

gone before--a coincidence at all events superficially striking. At

Munich, returning from a tour in the Tyrol with two of his sisters, he

had found himself at the table d'hote of his inn opposite to the full

presentment of that face of which the mere clumsy copy had made him dream

and desire. He had been tossed by it to a height so vertiginous as to

involve a retreat from the board; but the next day he had dropped with a

resounding thud at the very feet of his apparition. On the following,

with an equal incoherence, a sacrifice even of his bewildered sisters,

whom he left behind, he made an heroic effort to escape by flight from a

fate of which he had already felt the cold breath. That fate, in London,

very little later, drove him straight before it--drove him one Sunday

afternoon, in the rain, to the door of the Hammond Synges. He marched in

other words close up to the cannon that was to blow him to pieces. But

three weeks, when he reappeared to me, had elapsed since then, yet (to

vary my metaphor) the burden he was to carry for the rest of his days was

firmly lashed to his back. I don't mean by this that Flora had been

persuaded to contract her scope; I mean that he had been treated to the

unconditional snub which, as the event was to show, couldn't have been

bettered as a means of securing him. She hadn't calculated, but she had

said "Never!" and that word had made a bed big enough for his long-legged

patience. He became from this moment to my mind the interesting figure

in the piece.

Now that he had acted without my aid I was free to show him this, and

having on his own side something to show me he repeatedly knocked at my

door. What he brought with him on these occasions was a simplicity so

huge that, as I turn my ear to the past, I seem even now to hear it

bumping up and down my stairs. That was really what I saw of him in the

light of his behaviour. He had fallen in love as he might have broken

his leg, and the fracture was of a sort that would make him permanently

lame. It was the whole man who limped and lurched, with nothing of him

left in the same position as before. The tremendous cleverness, the

literary society, the political ambition, the Bournemouth sisters all

seemed to flop with his every movement a little nearer to the floor. I

hadn't had an Oxford training and I had never encountered the great man

at whose feet poor Dawling had most submissively sat and who had

addressed him his most destructive sniffs; but I remember asking myself

how effectively this privilege had supposed itself to prepare him for the

career on which my friend appeared now to have embarked. I remember too

making up my mind about the cleverness, which had its uses and I suppose

in impenetrable shades even its critics, but from which the friction of

mere personal intercourse was not the sort of process to extract a

revealing spark. He accepted without a question both his fever and his

chill, and the only thing he touched with judgment was this convenience

of my friendship. He doubtless told me his simple story, but the matter

comes back in a kind of sense of my being rather the mouthpiece, of my

having had to put it together for him. He took it from me in this form

without a groan, and I gave it him quite as it came; he took it again and

again, spending his odd half-hours with me as if for the very purpose of

learning how idiotically he was in love. He told me I made him see

things: to begin with, hadn't I first made him see Flora Saunt? I wanted

him to give her up and lucidly informed him why; on which he never

protested nor contradicted, never was even so alembicated as to declare

just for the sake of the point that he wouldn't. He simply and

pointlessly didn't, and when at the end of three months I asked him what

was the use of talking with such a fellow his nearest approach to a

justification was to say that what made him want to help her was just the

deficiencies I dwelt on. I could only reply without gross developments:

"Oh if you're as sorry for her as that!" I too was nearly as sorry for

her as that, but it only led me to be sorrier still for other victims of

this compassion. With Dawling as with me the compassion was at first in

excess of any visible motive; so that when eventually the motive was

supplied each could to a certain extent compliment the other on the

fineness of his foresight.

After he had begun to haunt my studio Miss Saunt quite gave it up, and I

finally learned that she accused me of conspiring with him to put

pressure on her to marry him. She didn't know I would take it that way,

else she would never have brought him to see me. It was in her view a

part of the conspiracy that to show him a kindness I asked him at last to

sit to me. I dare say moreover she was disgusted to hear that I had

ended by attempting almost as many sketches of his beauty as I had

attempted of hers. What was the value of tributes to beauty by a hand

that could so abase itself? My relation to poor Dawling's want of

modelling was simple enough. I was really digging in that sandy desert

for the buried treasure of his soul.

Glasses · 第 5 / 13 章