Early in the spring buy a rhubarb root on Vesey Street. The root
itself, an uncouth, gnarled object, is not beautiful, but it bears
small red and yellow shoots that are highly decorative, like little
Spanish flags.
This root must be planted in a churchyard, preferably Episcopalian,
which gives the rhubarb a pleasantly Athanasian flavour, much esteemed
by connoisseurs. We specially recommend St. Paul’s churchyard, partly
because the high buildings round about keep the sharp winds of early
spring away from the tender sprouts, but also because the pleasant hum
of young women reading Keable and Ruby M. Ayres aloud at lunch time on
the benches encourages the plant and hastens its growth.
The stalks must not be picked prematurely. Wait until they are a
brilliant red. The best way to get this right is to test them with a
leather-bound copy of one of Kipling’s books, in that scarlet leather
edition. When the stalks are exactly the same colour as _Stalky & Co._,
pick them.
Take them home, wash them, cut them into cylindrical lengths, and have
them stewed in the usual manner.