XXXI.

Archer had been stunned by old Catherine's news. It was only natural

that Madame Olenska should have hastened from Washington in response to

her grandmother's summons; but that she should have decided to remain

under her roof--especially now that Mrs. Mingott had almost regained

her health--was less easy to explain.

Archer was sure that Madame Olenska's decision had not been influenced

by the change in her financial situation. He knew the exact figure of

the small income which her husband had allowed her at their separation.

Without the addition of her grandmother's allowance it was hardly

enough to live on, in any sense known to the Mingott vocabulary; and

now that Medora Manson, who shared her life, had been ruined, such a

pittance would barely keep the two women clothed and fed. Yet Archer

was convinced that Madame Olenska had not accepted her grandmother's

offer from interested motives.

She had the heedless generosity and the spasmodic extravagance of

persons used to large fortunes, and indifferent to money; but she could

go without many things which her relations considered indispensable,

and Mrs. Lovell Mingott and Mrs. Welland had often been heard to

deplore that any one who had enjoyed the cosmopolitan luxuries of Count

Olenski's establishments should care so little about "how things were

done." Moreover, as Archer knew, several months had passed since her

allowance had been cut off; yet in the interval she had made no effort

to regain her grandmother's favour. Therefore if she had changed her

course it must be for a different reason.

He did not have far to seek for that reason. On the way from the ferry

she had told him that he and she must remain apart; but she had said

it with her head on his breast. He knew that there was no calculated

coquetry in her words; she was fighting her fate as he had fought his,

and clinging desperately to her resolve that they should not break

faith with the people who trusted them. But during the ten days which

had elapsed since her return to New York she had perhaps guessed from

his silence, and from the fact of his making no attempt to see her,

that he was meditating a decisive step, a step from which there was no

turning back. At the thought, a sudden fear of her own weakness might

have seized her, and she might have felt that, after all, it was better

to accept the compromise usual in such cases, and follow the line of

least resistance.

An hour earlier, when he had rung Mrs. Mingott's bell, Archer had

fancied that his path was clear before him. He had meant to have a

word alone with Madame Olenska, and failing that, to learn from her

grandmother on what day, and by which train, she was returning to

Washington. In that train he intended to join her, and travel with her

to Washington, or as much farther as she was willing to go. His own

fancy inclined to Japan. At any rate she would understand at once that,

wherever she went, he was going. He meant to leave a note for May that

should cut off any other alternative.

He had fancied himself not only nerved for this plunge but eager to

take it; yet his first feeling on hearing that the course of events

was changed had been one of relief. Now, however, as he walked home

from Mrs. Mingott's, he was conscious of a growing distaste for what

lay before him. There was nothing unknown or unfamiliar in the path he

was presumably to tread; but when he had trodden it before it was as

a free man, who was accountable to no one for his actions, and could

lend himself with an amused detachment to the game of precautions and

prevarications, concealments and compliances, that the part required.

This procedure was called "protecting a woman's honour"; and the best

fiction, combined with the after-dinner talk of his elders, had long

since initiated him into every detail of its code.

Now he saw the matter in a new light, and his part in it seemed

singularly diminished. It was, in fact, that which, with a secret

fatuity, he had watched Mrs. Thorley Rushworth play toward a fond and

unperceiving husband: a smiling, bantering, humouring, watchful and

incessant lie. A lie by day, a lie by night, a lie in every touch and

every look; a lie in every caress and every quarrel; a lie in every

word and in every silence.

It was easier, and less dastardly on the whole, for a wife to play

such a part toward her husband. A woman's standard of truthfulness was

tacitly held to be lower: she was the subject creature, and versed in

the arts of the enslaved. Then she could always plead moods and nerves,

and the right not to be held too strictly to account; and even in the

most strait-laced societies the laugh was always against the husband.

But in Archer's little world no one laughed at a wife deceived, and a

certain measure of contempt was attached to men who continued their

philandering after marriage. In the rotation of crops there was a

recognised season for wild oats; but they were not to be sown more than

once.

Archer had always shared this view: in his heart he thought Lefferts

despicable. But to love Ellen Olenska was not to become a man like

Lefferts: for the first time Archer found himself face to face with the

dread argument of the individual case. Ellen Olenska was like no other

woman, he was like no other man: their situation, therefore, resembled

no one else's, and they were answerable to no tribunal but that of

their own judgment.

Yes, but in ten minutes more he would be mounting his own doorstep; and

there were May, and habit, and honour, and all the old decencies that

he and his people had always believed in ...

At his corner he hesitated, and then walked on down Fifth Avenue.

Ahead of him, in the winter night, loomed a big unlit house. As he

drew near he thought how often he had seen it blazing with lights, its

steps awninged and carpeted, and carriages waiting in double line to

draw up at the curbstone. It was in the conservatory that stretched its

dead-black bulk down the side street that he had taken his first kiss

from May; it was under the myriad candles of the ball-room that he had

seen her appear, tall and silver-shining as a young Diana.

Now the house was as dark as the grave, except for a faint flare of gas

in the basement, and a light in one upstairs room where the blind had

not been lowered. As Archer reached the corner he saw that the carriage

standing at the door was Mrs. Manson Mingott's. What an opportunity

for Sillerton Jackson, if he should chance to pass! Archer had been

greatly moved by old Catherine's account of Madame Olenska's attitude

toward Mrs. Beaufort; it made the righteous reprobation of New York

seem like a passing by on the other side. But he knew well enough what

construction the clubs and drawing-rooms would put on Ellen Olenska's

visits to her cousin.

He paused and looked up at the lighted window. No doubt the two women

were sitting together in that room: Beaufort had probably sought

consolation elsewhere. There were even rumours that he had left New

York with Fanny Ring; but Mrs. Beaufort's attitude made the report seem

improbable.

Archer had the nocturnal perspective of Fifth Avenue almost to himself.

At that hour most people were indoors, dressing for dinner; and he was

secretly glad that Ellen's exit was likely to be unobserved. As the

thought passed through his mind the door opened, and she came out.

Behind her was a faint light, such as might have been carried down the

stairs to show her the way. She turned to say a word to some one; then

the door closed, and she came down the steps.

"Ellen," he said in a low voice, as she reached the pavement.

She stopped with a slight start, and just then he saw two young men

of fashionable cut approaching. There was a familiar air about their

overcoats and the way their smart silk mufflers were folded over their

white ties; and he wondered how youths of their quality happened to

be dining out so early. Then he remembered that the Reggie Chiverses,

whose house was a few doors above, were taking a large party that

evening to see Adelaide Neilson in Romeo and Juliet, and guessed that

the two were of the number. They passed under a lamp, and he recognised

Lawrence Lefferts and a young Chivers.

A mean desire not to have Madame Olenska seen at the Beauforts' door

vanished as he felt the penetrating warmth of her hand.

"I shall see you now--we shall be together," he broke out, hardly

knowing what he said.

"Ah," she answered, "Granny has told you?"

While he watched her he was aware that Lefferts and Chivers, on

reaching the farther side of the street corner, had discreetly struck

away across Fifth Avenue. It was the kind of masculine solidarity that

he himself often practised; now he sickened at their connivance. Did

she really imagine that he and she could live like this? And if not,

what else did she imagine?

"Tomorrow I must see you--somewhere where we can be alone," he said, in

a voice that sounded almost angry to his own ears.

She wavered, and moved toward the carriage.

"But I shall be at Granny's--for the present that is," she added, as if

conscious that her change of plans required some explanation.

"Somewhere where we can be alone," he insisted.

She gave a faint laugh that grated on him.

"In New York? But there are no churches ... no monuments."

"There's the Art Museum--in the Park," he explained, as she looked

puzzled. "At half-past two. I shall be at the door ..."

She turned away without answering and got quickly into the carriage.

As it drove off she leaned forward, and he thought she waved her hand

in the obscurity. He stared after her in a turmoil of contradictory

feelings. It seemed to him that he had been speaking not to the woman

he loved but to another, a woman he was indebted to for pleasures

already wearied of: it was hateful to find himself the prisoner of this

hackneyed vocabulary.

"She'll come!" he said to himself, almost contemptuously.

Avoiding the popular "Wolfe collection," whose anecdotic canvases

filled one of the main galleries of the queer wilderness of cast-iron

and encaustic tiles known as the Metropolitan Museum, they had wandered

down a passage to the room where the "Cesnola antiquities" mouldered in

unvisited loneliness.

They had this melancholy retreat to themselves, and seated on the divan

enclosing the central steam-radiator, they were staring silently at the

glass cabinets mounted in ebonised wood which contained the recovered

fragments of Ilium.

"It's odd," Madame Olenska said, "I never came here before."

"Ah, well--. Some day, I suppose, it will be a great Museum."

"Yes," she assented absently.

She stood up and wandered across the room. Archer, remaining seated,

watched the light movements of her figure, so girlish even under its

heavy furs, the cleverly planted heron wing in her fur cap, and the way

a dark curl lay like a flattened vine spiral on each cheek above the

ear. His mind, as always when they first met, was wholly absorbed in

the delicious details that made her herself and no other. Presently he

rose and approached the case before which she stood. Its glass shelves

were crowded with small broken objects--hardly recognisable domestic

utensils, ornaments and personal trifles--made of glass, of clay, of

discoloured bronze and other time-blurred substances.

"It seems cruel," she said, "that after a while nothing matters ... any

more than these little things, that used to be necessary and important

to forgotten people, and now have to be guessed at under a magnifying

glass and labelled: 'Use unknown.'"

"Yes; but meanwhile--"

"Ah, meanwhile--"

As she stood there, in her long sealskin coat, her hands thrust in a

small round muff, her veil drawn down like a transparent mask to the

tip of her nose, and the bunch of violets he had brought her stirring

with her quickly-taken breath, it seemed incredible that this pure

harmony of line and colour should ever suffer the stupid law of change.

"Meanwhile everything matters--that concerns you," he said.

She looked at him thoughtfully, and turned back to the divan. He sat

down beside her and waited; but suddenly he heard a step echoing far

off down the empty rooms, and felt the pressure of the minutes.

"What is it you wanted to tell me?" she asked, as if she had received

the same warning.

"What I wanted to tell you?" he rejoined. "Why, that I believe you came

to New York because you were afraid."

"Afraid?"

"Of my coming to Washington."

She looked down at her muff, and he saw her hands stir in it uneasily.

"Well--?"

"Well--yes," she said.

"You _were_ afraid? You knew--?"

"Yes: I knew ..."

"Well, then?" he insisted.

"Well, then: this is better, isn't it?" she returned with a long

questioning sigh.

"Better--?"

"We shall hurt others less. Isn't it, after all, what you always

wanted?"

"To have you here, you mean--in reach and yet out of reach? To meet you

in this way, on the sly? It's the very reverse of what I want. I told

you the other day what I wanted."

The Age of Innocence · 第 63 / 74 题