_Monday, March 22nd._--As if the condition of Ireland were not bad enough,
Mr. CLEM EDWARDS sought to make our flesh creep by asking whether the
Government had information that risings had been planned for Easter Monday,
not only in that country but in Liverpool, Manchester and Glasgow as well.
The PRIME MINISTER declined to answer the question, and was manifestly
relieved when Mr. JACK JONES, with great tact, changed the subject by
asking if a white blackbird had been caught that morning on Hackney
Marshes.
Lord WINTERTON and the other "Young Turks" were again inquisitive about the
suppressed report of the alleged Greek outrages at Smyrna, until Mr. LLOYD
GEORGE put an end to the catechism with the remark that "Even Christians
are entitled to a fair trial."
Chafing under the accusation that the trade unions are largely responsible
for preventing ex-Service men from obtaining employment the Labour Party
pressed the PRIME MINISTER to produce his evidence. To-day they got it, in
stacks. All the unions, in principle, are in favour of training disabled
men, but in practice most of them require that a workman shall have worked
at his craft for from three to six years before being admitted to their
ranks. "You have fought for us, but you shall not work for us" is their
attitude.
On the Army Estimates Sir SAMUEL SCOTT pleaded for the formation of an
Imperial General Staff. Even in peace-time there were plenty of problems to
be solved. We should never be really at peace, moreover, so long as there
were tribes on our frontiers who looked upon war as an amusement and a
pastime, "as hon. Members look upon golf." Surely this is to underestimate
the devotion of our earnest golfers. Judging by the condition of the links
on Sunday I should say some of them look upon it as a religion.
Mr. NEIL MACLEAN pretended not to understand why we wanted an army at all.
Was not the last war "a war to end war"? But his main point--in which he
will be surprised to find many quite respectable people agreeing with
him--is that it should not be officered from one class. Mr. MACLEAN is not
so revolutionary as he thinks himself. The most insurgent thing about him
is his hair, and even that is not more rebellious than Mr. DAN IRVING'S.
_Tuesday, March 23rd._--Lord PEEL was evidently surprised at the amount of
opposition encountered by the Silver Coinage Bill. Having a specimen of the
new shilling in his pocket he himself was feeling particularly bobbish, and
could not understand the gloomy vaticinations of Lord BUCKMASTER and Lord
SALISBURY as to what might happen in West Africa and elsewhere if we
depreciated our currency. But his usual self-confidence so far deserted him
that he confessed that he could not "answer for the whole of the British
Empire at a moment's notice."
The LORD CHANCELLOR refused to accept Lord BALFOUR OF BURLEIGH'S proposal
to abolish the D.O.R.A. regulation forbidding the sale of confectionery in
theatres, on the ground that it would be unfair to the ordinary shops to
allow this competition, and that the business of the theatre was to supply
drama not chocolate. Lord BALFOUR was unconvinced. His imagination boggled
at the thought of a Scotsman, at any rate, paying for a seat in a theatre
in order to purchase a shilling's worth of "sweeties."
The House of Commons has a childlike sense of humour. There is nothing that
it enjoys more than to have a Minister struggling with the pronunciation of
some outlandish place-name. When, therefore, Mr. ILLINGWORTH, posed with
the deficiencies of the mail service to Bryngwran and Gwalchmai, made a
gallant but ineffectual effort to get over the first obstacle and evaded
the second by calling it "the other place," Members roared with delighted
laughter.
In the further debate on the Army Estimates a good deal was said about the
unfortunate events in Ireland. Mr. T. P. O'CONNOR had the grace to withdraw
some of the unfortunate insinuations against the conduct of the British
soldiers into which he had been betrayed the day before, but Messrs.
KENWORTHY and MALONE repeated them with additions of their own, and
incurred thereby a castigation from Mr. CHURCHILL which the House cordially
approved.
The Coal Mines (Emergency) Bill was read a third time. On behalf of the
Labour Party, Mr. ADAMSON declared that the profits of the coal industry
must be "pooled"--a proposition which would command general approval if
there seemed any likelihood that consumers would receive a share of the
pool.
_Wednesday, March 24th._--Since DISRAELI startled a scientific meeting by
declaring himself to be "on the side of the angels" there has been no more
remarkable piece of self-revelation than Lord BIRKENHEAD'S defence of the
Matrimonial Causes Bill. It was not so much his wealth of ecclesiastical
lore or the impassioned appeal that he made for the victims of the present
divorce law that impressed the Peers as the high line that he took in
condemning the opponents of the measure. He as good as told the occupants
of the Episcopal Bench that their view of marriage was lacking in
spirituality. The Archbishop of CANTERBURY was so dumbfounded by the
accusation that he meekly confessed himself unable to follow the LORD
CHANCELLOR'S religious arguments. Lord SALISBURY displayed more pugnacity
in a reassertion of views that had been described as "mediaeval
superstition." But the Peers preferred the Use of Birkenhead to the Use of
Sarum, and gave the Bill a Second Reading by a two-to-one majority.
In the course of the debate Lord BUCKMASTER expressed his regret that so
effective an orator as the Archbishop of YORK should have deserted the Law
for the Church. After this afternoon's display I could not help wondering
what would have happened if "F. E.'s" call had been to the Church instead
of the Bar, and whether a shovel-hat would not have suited him even better
than a wig.
Members who display a friendly interest in the revival of German trade were
gratified to learn that the clock-manufacturers, at any rate, are taking
time by the forelock and are already sending their goods to this country.
So far are they, moreover, from cherishing animosity or desiring to magnify
the Fatherland that they modestly label them "Westminster Chimes." It is
pleasant to record that the Board of Trade, exhibiting the same spirit of
self-abnegation, has insisted on substituting the time-honoured
inscription, "Made in Germany."
It is a mistake to suppose that there are no limits to the ambition of the
GEDDES family. "I never wanted air-transport," said Sir ERIC this
afternoon, and later on he expressly disclaimed the megalomania which had
been attributed to him "by those best able to diagnose the disease." He is
certainly coming on as a Parliamentary speaker, and gave an informing and,
on the whole, hopeful account of the work of the railways in promoting
reconstruction.
_Thursday, March 25th._--The PRIME MINISTER was rather husky this
afternoon. He had been having a strenuous time with the miners and possibly
some of the coal-dust had got into his throat. But his spirit is unabated,
and he flatly refused to withdraw his charge that the trade unions, by
refusing to modify their regulations, are holding up the building industry.
In connection with the proposal to raise the Tube fares, Mr. WILL THORNE
inquired whether this would not mean an increase of two pounds a week in
the expenditure of some families, and, on the figure being challenged, said
that it was quite correct, for one of the families was his own. Members
entered into rapid calculations on their Order Papers with the view of
discovering how many olive-branches had sprung from this THORNE.
After Mr. ASQUITH'S "prave 'orts" at the National Liberal Club the mildness
of his criticism upon the Government's foreign policy sadly disappointed
his more ardent supporters. His only concrete suggestion was that we should
surrender our mandate for Mesopotamia and retire to the coast, and this did
not meet with much approval.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _The POSTMASTER-GENERAL, Mr. ILLINGWORTH_ (_after some
unsuccessful attempts to ring up the PRIME MINISTER for particulars about
the pronunciation of Gwalchmai_). "AH WELL, IF I CAN'T GET ON TO DAVID
WITHIN THE NEXT HALF-HOUR I MUST CONTENT MYSELF WITH CALLING IT 'THE OTHER
PLACE.'" [_Does so._]]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE RIGHT REVEREND THE LORD BISHOP OF BIRKENHEAD.]
* * * * *