When the Samian ambassadors had made a long harangue, the Spartans
answered, We have forgot the first part, and so cannot understand the
last. To the Thebans violently contesting with them about something
they replied, Your spirit should be less, or your forces greater. A
Lacedaemonian being asked why he kept his beard so long; That seeing
my gray hairs, he replied, I may do nothing but what becomes them.
One commending the best warriors, a Spartan that overheard said, At
Troy. Another, hearing that some forced their guests to drink after
supper, said, What! not to eat too? Pindar in his poems having called
Athens the prop of Greece, a Spartan said, Greece would soon fall if it
leaned on such a prop. When one, seeing the Athenians pictured killing
the Spartans, said, The Athenians are stout fellows; Yes, subjoined a
Spartan, in a picture. To one that was very attentive to a scandalous
accusation a Spartan said, Pray, sir, be not prodigal of your ears
against me. And to one under correction that cried out, I offend
against my will, another said, Therefore suffer against thy will. One
seeing some journeying in a chariot said, God forbid that I should sit
where I cannot rise up to reverence my elders. Some Chian travellers
vomiting after supper in the consistory, and dunging in the very seats
of the Ephors, first they made strict inquiry whether the offenders
were citizens or not; but finding they were Chians, they publicly
proclaimed that they gave the Chians leave to be filthy and uncivil.
When one saw a merchant sell hard almonds at double the price that
others were usually sold at, he said, Are stones scarce? Another
pulling a nightingale, and finding but a very small body, said, Thou
art voice and nothing else. Another Spartan, seeing Diogenes the Cynic
in very cold weather embrace a brazen statue, asked whether he was
not very cold; and he replying, No, he rejoined, What great matter
then is it that you do? A Metapontine, being jeered by a Spartan for
cowardice, replied, Nay, sir, we are masters of some of the territories
of other states; Then, said the Spartan, you are not only cowards but
unjust. A traveller at Sparta, standing long upon one leg, said to a
Lacedaemonian, I do not believe you can do as much; True, said he,
but every goose can. To one valuing himself upon his skill in oratory
a Spartan said, By heaven, there never was and never can be any art
without truth. An Argive saying, We have the tombs of many Spartans
amongst us; a Spartan replied, But we cannot show the grave of one
Argive; meaning that they had often invaded Argos, but the Argives
never Sparta. A Spartan that was taken captive and to be sold,—when
the crier said, Here’s a Spartan to be sold,—stopped his mouth,
saying, Cry a captive. One of the soldiers of Lysimachus, being asked
by him whether he was a true Spartan or one of the Helot slaves,
replied, Do you imagine a Lacedaemonian would serve you for a groat a
day? The Thebans, having beaten the Lacedaemonians at Leuctra, marched
to the river Eurotas itself, where one of them boasting said, Where are
the Spartans now? To whom a captive replied, They are not at hand, sir,
for if they had been, you had not come so far. The Athenians, having
surrendered their own city to the Spartans, requested that they might
be permitted to enjoy Samos only; upon which the Spartans said, When
you are not at your own disposal, would you be lords of others? And
hence came that proverb, He that is not master of himself begs Samos.
When the Lacedaemonians had taken a town by storm, the Ephors said, The
exercise of our youth is lost, for now they will have none to contend
with them. The Persian offering to raze a city that had frequent
quarrels and skirmishes with the Spartans, they desired him to forbear
and not take away the whetstone of their youth. They appointed no
masters to instruct their boys in wrestling, that they might contend
not in sleights of art and little tricks, but in strength and courage;
and therefore Lysander, being asked by what means Charon was too hard
for him, replied, By sleights and cunning. When Philip, having entered
their territories, sent to know whether he should come as an enemy or
a friend, the Spartans returned, Neither. Hearing that the ambassador
they had sent to Antigonus the son of Demetrius had called him king,
they fined him, though he had obtained of him in a time of scarcity a
bushel of wheat for every person in the city. A vicious person giving
excellent good counsel, they received it, but took it from him and
attributed it to another, a man regular and of a good life. When some
brothers differed, they fined the father for neglecting his sons and
suffering them to be at strife. They fined likewise a musician that
came amongst them, for playing the harp with his fingers. Two boys
fighting, one wounded the other mortally with a hook. And when his
acquaintance, just as he was dying, vowed to revenge his death and
have the blood of him that killed him; By no means, saith he, it is
unjust, for I had done the same thing if I had been stout and more
speedy in my stroke. Another boy, at the time when freemen’s sons are
allowed to steal what they can and it is a disgrace to be discovered,
when some of his companions had stolen a young fox and delivered it
to him, and the owners came to search, hid it under his gown; and
though the angry little beast bit through his side to his very guts, he
endured it quietly, that he might not be discovered. When the searchers
were gone and the boys saw what had happened, they chid him roundly,
saying, It had been better to produce the fox, than thus to conceal
him by losing your own life; No, no! he replied, it is much better
to die in torments, than to let my softness betray me and suffer a
life that had been scandalous. Some meeting certain Spartans upon the
road said, Sirs, you have good luck, for the robbers are just gone.
Faith, they replied, they have good luck that they did not meet with
us. A Lacedaemonian, being asked what he knew, answered, To be free.
A Spartan boy, being taken by Antigonus and sold, obeyed his master
readily in every thing that he thought not below a freeman to do; but
when he was commanded to bring a chamber-pot, unable to contain he
said, I will not serve; but his master pressing him, he ran to the
top of the house, and saying, You shall find what you have bought,
threw himself down headlong and died. Another being to be sold, when
the chapman asked him, Wilt thou be towardly if I buy thee? Yes, he
returned, and if you do not buy me. Another captive, when the crier
said, Here’s a slave to be sold, cried out, You villain, why not a
captive? A Spartan, who had a fly engraven on his shield no bigger than
Nature hath made that creature, when some jeered him as if he did it on
purpose that he might not be taken notice of, replied: It is that I may
be known; for I advance so near my enemies that they can well perceive
my impress, as little as it is. Another, when at an entertainment a
harp was brought in, said, It is not the custom of the Spartans to play
the fool. A Spartan being asked whether the way to Sparta was safe or
not, replied: That is according as you go down thither; for lions that
approach rue their coming, and hares we hunt in their very coverts. A
Spartan wrestling, when he could not make his adversary that had got
the upper hand of him loose his hold, and was unable to avoid the fall,
bit him by the arm; and the other saying, Spartan, thou bitest like a
woman; No, said he, but like a lion. A lame man, marching out to war
and being laughed at, said, There is no need of those that can run
away, but of those that can stand to it and defend their post. Another
being shot through said with his last breath: It doth not trouble
me that I die, but that I should be killed by a woman before I had
performed some notable exploit. One coming into an inn and giving the
host a piece of meat to make ready for him,—when the host demanded
some cheese and oil besides,—What! says the Spartan, if I had cheese
should I want meat? When one called Lampis of Aegina happy, because
he seemed a rich man, having many ships of his own at sea, a Spartan
said, I do not like that happiness that hangs by a cord. One telling
a Spartan that he lied, the Spartan returned: True, for we are free;
but others, unless they speak truth, will suffer for it. When one had
undertaken to make a carcass stand upright, and tried every way to no
purpose; Faith, said he, there wants something within. Tynnichus bore
his son Thrasybulus’s death very patiently, and there is this epigram
made upon him:—
Stout Thrasybulus on his shield was brought
From bloody fields, where he had bravely fought,
The Argives beat, and as he stoutly prest,
Seven spears, and Death attending, pierced his breast.
The father took the corpse, and as he bled,
He laid it on the funeral pile, and said:
Be cowards mourned, I’ll spend no tear nor groan,
Whilst thus I burn a Spartan and my son.
The keeper of the bath allowing more water than ordinary to Alcibiades
the Athenian, a Spartan said, What! is he more foul, that he wants more
than others? Philip making an inroad upon Sparta, and all the Spartans
expecting to be cut off, he said to one of them, Now what will you
Spartans do? And he replied: What, but to die bravely? for only we of
all the Greeks have learned to be free and not endure a yoke. When Agis
was beaten and Antipater demanded fifty boys for hostages, Eteocles,
one of the then Ephors, answered: Boys we will not give, lest swerving
from the customs of their country they prove slothful and untoward,
and so incapable of the privilege of citizens; but of women and old
men you shall have twice as many. And when upon refusal he threatened
some sharp afflictions, he returned: If you lay upon us somewhat worse
than death, we shall die the more readily. An old man in the Olympic
games being desirous to see the sport, and unprovided of a seat, went
about from place to place, was laughed and jeered at, but none offered
him the civility; but when he came to the Spartans’ quarter, all the
boys and some of the men rose from their seats, and made him room. At
this, all the Greeks clapped and praised their behavior; upon which
the good old man shaking his hoary hairs, with tears in his eyes, said:
Good God! how well all the Greeks know what is good, and yet only the
Lacedaemonians practise it! And some say the same thing was done at
Athens. For at the great solemnity of the Athenians, the Panathenaic
festival, the Attics abused an old man, calling him as if they designed
to make room for him, and when he came putting him off again; and when
after this manner he had passed through almost all, he came to that
quarter where the Spartan spectators sat, and all of them presently
rose up and gave him place; the whole multitude, extremely taken with
this action, clapped and shouted; upon which one of the Spartans said:
By Heaven, these Athenians know what should be done, but are not much
for doing it. A beggar asking an alms of a Lacedaemonian, he said:
Well, should I give thee any thing, thou wilt be the greater beggar,
for he that first gave thee money made thee idle, and is the cause of
this base and dishonorable way of living. Another Spartan, seeing a
fellow gathering charity for the Gods’ sake, said, I will never regard
those as Gods that are poorer than myself. Another, having taken one
in adultery with an ugly whore, cried out, Poor man, how great was thy
necessity! Another, hearing an orator very lofty and swelling in his
speech, said, Faith, this is a brave man, how excellently he rolls his
tongue about nothing! A stranger being at Sparta, and observing how
much the young men reverenced the old, said, At Sparta alone it is
desirable to be old. A Lacedaemonian, being asked what manner of poet
Tyrtaeus was, replied, Excellent to whet the courage of our youth.
Another that had very sore eyes listed himself a soldier; when some
said to him, Poor man, whither in that condition, and what wilt thou
do in a fight? He returned, If I can do nothing else, I shall blunt
the enemies’ sword. Buris and Spertis, two Lacedaemonians, going
voluntarily to Xerxes the Persian to suffer that punishment which the
oracle had adjudged due to Sparta for killing those ambassadors the
King had sent, as soon as they came desired Xerxes to put them to death
as he pleased, that they might make satisfaction for the Spartans. But
he, surprised at this gallantry, forgave the men and desired their
service in his court; to which they replied, How can we stay here, and
leave our country, our laws, and those men for whom we came so far to
die? Indarnes the general pressing them to make peace, and promising
them equal honors with the King’s greatest favorites, they returned,
Sir, you seem to be ignorant of the value of liberty, which no man in
his wits would change for the Persian empire. A Spartan in a journey,
when a friend of his had purposely avoided him the day before, and the
next day, having obtained very rich furniture, splendidly received
him, trampled on his tapestry saying, This was the cause why I had not
so much as a mat to sleep upon last night. Another coming to Athens,
and seeing the Athenians crying salt-fish and dainties to sell up and
down the streets, others gathering taxes, keeping stews, and busied
about a thousand such dishonest trades, and looking on nothing as base
and unbecoming; after his return, when his acquaintance enquired how
things were at Athens, he replied, All well; intimating by this irony
that all things there were esteemed good and commendable, and nothing
base. Another, being questioned about something, denied it; and the
enquirer rejoining, Thou liest, he replied: And art not thou a fool to
ask me what you know yourself very well? Some Lacedaemonians being sent
ambassadors to the tyrant Lygdamis, pretending sickness he deferred
their audience a long time. They said to one of his officers, Pray,
sir, assure him that we did not come to wrestle but to treat with him.
A priest initiating a Spartan in holy mysteries asked him what was the
greatest wickedness he was ever guilty of. And he replying, The Gods
know very well, and the priest pressing him the more and saying he
must needs discover, the Spartan asked, To whom? to thee or the God?
And the priest saying, To the God, he rejoined, Then do you withdraw.
Another at night passing by a tomb and imagining he saw a ghost, made
towards it with his spear, and striking it through cried out, Whither
dost thou fly, poor twice dead ghost? Another having vowed to throw
himself headlong from the Leucadian rock, when he came to the top and
saw the vast precipice, he went down again; upon which being jeered by
an acquaintance, he said, I did not imagine that one vow needed another
that was greater. Another in a battle had his sword lifted up to kill
his enemy, but the retreat being sounded, he did not let the blow
fall; and when one asked him why, when his enemy was at his mercy, he
did not use the advantage, Because, said he, it is better to obey my
leader than kill my enemy. One saying to a Spartan that was worsted in
the Olympic games, Spartan, thy adversary was the better man; No, he
replied, but the better tripper.