A day having been set apart by the Buccaneer's High Priest for solemn
fasts, prayers, and humiliations, to counteract as far as possible the
evil effects which might be expected to arise from the impious conduct
of the Buccaneer, and devilish machinations of the conspirators of the
cook's caboose; and all the wise men in the island having been set to
work to find out the exact pressure that the ecclesiastical wrath had
upon the square inch of the social atmosphere, things sank down again to
their usual level; for no storm lasts forever.
The captain of the watch, old Bill Dogvane, now summoned all the
conspirators before him, and rated them well for their folly and want of
forethought in setting the big drum of the church going. "Don't you see,
my lads," he said, "that things aren't ripe yet for such a sweeping
measure? All in good time; all in good time. But first and foremost see
which way the wind is blowing, and which way the current sets, and then,
my hearties, steer your course accordingly."
The conspirators affected very great surprise; said that the whole thing
was a gross misrepresentation; a mere game got up entirely by Random
Jack, who, having stowed himself away, had listened to a private
conversation they had had in the cook's caboose.
"Well, my lads, I think the storm is over, and the dust this time is
laid; but Chips, my man, where is your mate?" It now came out that
Chisel was ashore in tow of a lass, and when a sailor is so situated he
is never fit for duty.
Just as old Dogvane was congratulating himself upon having got, as he
thought, into smooth water again, there come a hail from the shore of
"Ship of State, ahoy!"
"What the devil is in the wind now?" cried Dogvane, as he took a look
over the ship's side. At the same time the Buccaneer, who was below,
called up to know who it was that was calling. "Ah!" said Dogvane to
himself, "I ought to have known that that old coach was a slow one to
travel."
"Ship ahoy!" came again. "Who is that?" demanded the Buccaneer.
"It looks uncommonly like old Squire Broadacre, sir," was Dogvane's
reply. Now this old gentleman had at one time been extremely well off,
and had kept up great state and open house; keeping many retainers,
feeding many mouths, but hard times had overtaken him, and he was now
sorely pinched, and even poverty was seen on the outskirts of his
property, and was drawing nearer to his door every day. The Buccaneer
ordered a boat to be sent ashore.
"Send a boat ashore!" muttered Dogvane. "Why, a line of battle ships
would not hold him and his cargo of grievances, I know." However, a boat
was sent, and the old gentleman was ferried on board. The captain of the
Starboard Watch seeing the conspirators together abreast of the cook's
galley went up to them, saying, "A pretty kettle of fish you fellows
have put upon the fire. Here is some more of your handiwork."
The butcher chuckled to himself, and said, "If you fellows had nipped
round and caught Random Jack, all this bother would have been saved."
The butcher was always criticising.
"Ah! Billy," replied the carpenter, "like many another clever fellow,
you are extremely wise after the event; you see, it is not for you to
talk; if you hadn't had a nervous attack you might have caught him
yourself."
All further discussion was put a stop to by the appearance on board of
the old squire, who seemed to be completely overcome with excitement. He
told the Buccaneer that he had it on the very best authority that he was
to be attacked and robbed, and he came to demand protection. Of course
in the abstract being a member of the Buccaneer's family he had a right
to protection. Things, he said, had come to a pretty pass if honest folk
were to be deprived of their property without people saying with your
leave or by your leave.
The squire, following so closely upon the heels of the church, aroused
the anger of the old Sea King, who always on such occasions, made a
scapegoat of some one, and he now tried to make Dogvane perform that
most necessary but disagreeable office, but the captain was much too old
a bird to be caught either by chaff, or to have salt put upon his tail.
Then no sooner had the fears of the old squire been somewhat allayed by
Dogvane declaring that it was all a party trick, than fresh trouble
arose; for the Ojabberaways taking advantage of the state of affairs, so
acted as to stop all business, and played on board the ship their old
game of "Mag's diversions," or the "devil's delight." But amidst all
this confusion there was one bright spot, and that was the noble way in
which the old coxswain had acted. When the Buccaneer heard of it he was
delighted and determined to reward him by elevating him to some high
position on board the Ship of State. Indeed, so impressed was he with
old Jack's abilities, that he was for sending him at once to the Upper
Chamber; but Jack said he would rather decline the honour, for the
members were proud, standing very much upon their dignity, and he feared
they might give him the cold shoulder. Besides which, he feared that as
the cook had taken a dislike to that establishment it could not last
long. Then the Buccaneer called to him Dogvane, and ordered him to find
honest Jack some post of distinction in the after part of the ship.
The captain of the watch demurred to this, saying it would be a most
unconstitutional thing, and he contended that to raise so ordinary a
personage as Jack Commonsense from a position that was humble to one
that was exalted, and make all at once an officer of State of him, would
be fraught with extreme danger. In all probability everybody would
resign, for such an honest, straightforward fellow as the cox'sn was,
would be sure to rub the whole crew up the wrong way, which everyone
knew was a most dangerous thing to do; putting the fat in every way upon
the fire. He plainly intimated that to promote Jack Commonsense would
probably bring about discord, which might end even in revolution.
"Heaven only knows, sir!" he exclaimed, "we have wrangling enough as it
is on board the old ship."
The Buccaneer thought the matter over, and said that he was considerably
disappointed, as he felt sure that Jack would not disgrace himself at
the council board. A thought seemed suddenly to strike him. "As you will
not have him here, Master Dogvane, I will make a bishop of him. His
presence on board the old Church Hulk will be an advantage to every one,
more especially in these critical times." He at once hailed the old ship
alongside, and expressed his wishes. There was a solemn conclave at once
held, and all the divines who were conspicuous for their learning and
piety were called together to consider so grave a matter, and after a
careful discussion, which lasted many hours, they arrived at the
conclusion that the old cox'sn could not on any account be made a bishop
or given even a place of any importance on board the Church Hulk. They
intimated that it would be more in keeping with a modest demeanour if he
contented himself with his present lot in life, and they pointed out
that pride which had turned satan himself out of Heaven was altogether
to be condemned. Besides, they said, they feared that if they gave the
old cox'sn a permanent place on board their ship he would in time
undermine the whole of their authority, and bring down the sacred
edifice about their ears, and that the High Priest and other
ecclesiastical dignitaries would be buried in the ruins, and forever
lost to the cause of religion. The members of the Solemn Conclave
admitted that Jack Commonsense was an inestimable and even religious
fellow, and that in the Buccaneer's realms he had nobly done his duty;
but as virtue was at all times its own reward, the old cox'sn could not
want any further recompense. Besides, they added, he had received no
ecclesiastical education; knew little or nothing of the Levitical Law,
or of the Fathers of Theology, and could not therefore be expected to
wrestle against the Devil's first lieutenant, Heresy.
Thus poor old Jack's doom was sealed; but when he heard that neither
ship would have him at any price he was not down-hearted, but went on
his quiet way as before; giving himself neither airs nor graces like so
many people do. Old Jack was not one of those ambitious, self-confident,
self-seeking fellows whose only virtue is unbounded impudence, and who
are forever thrusting themselves forward, not caring two straws who
falls, or who is thrust to the wall, so long as they can struggle and
keep to the front; holding up before the eyes of the people their
farthing dip, and swearing its light is equal to ever so many candles,
or even oil lamps.
"Well," said old Jack, as he trudged away, "if I do not rise, neither
shall I fall. Let those who like soar up on the butterfly wings of
ambition, I'll have none of it myself. Sooner or later old Dame Fortune
turns round her wheel and up comes her eldest daughter and pins your
butterfly to the earth with the sharp-pointed pin of adversity. Then
where are you?"