'I came home on the 18th[741] at noon to a very disconsolate house. You
and I have lost our friends[742]; but you have more friends at home. My
domestick companion is taken from me. She is much missed, for her
acquisitions were many, and her curiosity universal; so that she partook
of every conversation[743]. I am not well enough to go much out; and to
sit, and eat, or fast alone, is very wearisome. I always mean to send my
compliments to all the ladies.'
His fortitude and patience met with severe trials during this year. The
stroke of the palsy has been related circumstantially; but he was also
afflicted with the gout, and was besides troubled with a complaint which
not only was attended with immediate inconvenience, but threatened him
with a chirurgical operation, from which most men would shrink. The
complaint was a _sarcocele_, which Johnson bore with uncommon firmness,
and was not at all frightened while he looked forward to amputation. He
was attended by Mr. Pott and Mr. Cruikshank. I have before me a letter
of the 30th of July this year, to Mr. Cruikshank, in which he says, 'I
am going to put myself into your hands;' and another, accompanying a set
of his _Lives of the Poets_, in which he says, 'I beg your acceptance of
these volumes, as an acknowledgement of the great favours which you have
bestowed on, Sir, your most obliged and most humble servant.' I have in
my possession several more letters from him to Mr. Cruikshank, and also
to Dr. Mudge at Plymouth, which it would be improper to insert, as they
are filled with unpleasing technical details. I shall, however, extract
from his letters to Dr. Mudge such passages as shew either a felicity of
expression, or the undaunted state of his mind.
'My conviction of your skill, and my belief of your friendship,
determine me to intreat your opinion and advice.'--'In this state I with
great earnestness desire you to tell me what is to be done. Excision is
doubtless necessary to the cure, and I know not any means of palliation.
The operation is doubtless painful; but is it dangerous? The pain I hope
to endure with decency[744]; but I am loth to put life into much
hazard.'--'By representing the gout as an antagonist to the palsy, you
have said enough to make it welcome. This is not strictly the first fit,
but I hope it is as good as the first; for it is the second that ever
confined me; and the first was ten years ago[745], much less fierce and
fiery than this.'--'Write, dear Sir, what you can to inform or encourage
me. The operation is not delayed by any fears or objections of mine.'
To BENNET LANGTON, ESQ. 'Dear Sir, You may very reasonably charge me
with insensibility of your kindness, and that of Lady Rothes, since I
have suffered so much time to pass without paying any acknowledgement. I
now, at last, return my thanks; and why I did it not sooner I ought to
tell you. I went into Wiltshire as soon as I well could, and was there
much employed in palliating my own malady. Disease produces much
selfishness. A man in pain is looking after ease; and lets most other
things go as chance shall dispose of them. In the mean time I have lost
a companion[746], to whom I have had recourse for domestick amusement
for thirty years, and whose variety of knowledge never was exhausted;
and now return to a habitation vacant and desolate. I carry about a very
troublesome and dangerous complaint, which admits no cure but by the
chirurgical knife. Let me have your prayers. I am, &c.