CASES AND DIRECTIONS FOR LOVING OUR NEIGHBOUR AS OURSELVES.
_Tit. 1. Cases of Conscience about loving our Neighbour._
_Quest._ I. In what sense is it that I must love my neighbour as
myself? Whether in the kind, of love, or in the degree, or only in the
reality.
_Answ._ The true meaning of the text is, you must love him
according to his true worth, without the diversion and hinderance of
selfishness and partiality. As you must love yourself according to
that degree of goodness which is in you, and no more; so must you as
impartially love your neighbour according to that degree of goodness
which is in him. So that it truly extendeth to the reality, the kind
and the degree of love, supposing it in both proportioned to the
goodness of the object. But before this can be understood, the true
nature of love must be well understood.
_Quest._ II. What is the true nature of love, both as to myself
and neighbour?
_Answ._ Love is nothing but the prime motion of the will to its
proper object; which is called complacence: the object of it is simple
goodness, or good as such: it ariseth from suitableness between the
object and the will, as appetite doth from the suitableness of the
appetent fancy and food. This good, as it is variously modified, or
any way differeth, doth accordingly cause or require a difference in
our love; therefore that love which in its prime act and nature is but
one, is diversely denominated, as its objects are diversified. To an
object as simply good, in itself, it followeth the understanding's
estimation, and is called, as I said, mere complacence or adhesion: to
an object as not yet attained, but absent, or distant, and attainable,
it is called desire or desiring love: and as expected, hope, or hoping
love (which is a conjunction of desire and expectation): to an object
nearest and attained, it is called fruition, or delight, or delighting
love: to an object which by means must be attained, it is called
seeking love, as it exciteth to the use of those means: and to an
object missed it is, by accident, mourning love. But still love itself
in its essential act is one and the same. As it respecteth an object
which wanteth something to make it perfect, and desireth the supply of
that want, it is called love of benevolence; denominated from this
occasion, as it desireth to do good to him that is loved. And it is a
love of the same nature which we exercise towards God, who needeth
nothing, as we rejoice in that perfection and happiness which he hath;
though it be not to be called properly by the same name. Goodness
being the true object of love, is the true measure of it; and
therefore God is infinitely and primitively good, is the prime and
only simple object of our absolute, total love. And therefore those
who understand no goodness in any being, but as profitable to them, or
to some other creature, do know no God, nor love God as God, nor have
any love but selfish and idolatrous. By this you may perceive the
nature of love.
_Quest._ III. But may none be loved above the measure of his
goodness? How then did God love us when we were not, or were his
enemies? And how must we love the wicked? And how must an ungodly
person love himself?
_Answ._ If only good, as such, be the object of love, then
certainly none should be loved but in proportion to his goodness. But
you must distinguish between mere natural and sensitive love or
appetite, and rational love; and between love, and the effects of
love; and between natural goodness in the object, and moral goodness.
And so I further answer, 1. There is in every man a natural and
sensitive love of himself and his own pleasure and felicity, and an
averseness to death and pain and sorrow, as there is in every brute:
and this God hath planted there for the preservation of the creature.
This falleth not under commands or prohibitions directly, because it
is not free but necessary; as no man is commanded or forbidden to be
hungry, or thirsty, or weary, or the like: it is not this love which
is meant when we are commanded to love our neighbour as ourselves. For
I am not commanded to feel hunger, and thirst, nor to desire meat and
drink by the sensitive appetite for my neighbour: nor sensitively to
feel his pain or pleasure, nor to have that natural aversation from
death and pain, nor sensitive desire of life and pleasure, for him as
for myself. But the love here spoken of, is that volition with the due
affection conjunct, which is our rational love, as being the act of
our highest faculty, and falling under God's command. As to the
sensitive love, it proceedeth not upon the sense or estimate of
goodness in the person who loveth himself or any other (as beasts love
their young ones without respect to their excellency). But it is
rational love which is proportioned to the estimated goodness of the
thing beloved. 2. Physical goodness may be in an object which hath no
moral goodness; and this may contain a capacity of moral goodness: and
each of them is amiable according to its nature and degree. 3.
Beneficence is sometimes an effect of love, and sometimes an effect of
wisdom only as to the object, and of love to something else; but it is
never love itself. Usually benevolence is an act of love, and
beneficence an effect, but not always. I may do good to another
without any love to him, for some ends of my own, or for the sake of
another. And a man may be obliged to greater beneficence, where he is
not obliged to greater love.
And now to the instances, I further answer, 1. When we had no being,
God did not properly love us _in esse reali_ (unless you will go
to our co-existence in eternity; for we were not _in esse
reali_); but only as we were _in esse cognito_; which is but
to love the idea in himself: but he purposed to make us, and to make
us lovely, and to do us good, and so he had that which is called
_amor benevolentiæ_ to us: which properly was not love to us, but
a love to himself, and the idea in his own eternal mind, which is
called a loving us _in esse cognito_, and a purpose to make us
good and lovely. That which is not lovely is not an object of love:
man was not lovely indeed, when he was not; therefore he was not an
object of love (but _in esse cognito_.) The same we say of God's
loving us when we were enemies: he really loved us with complacency so
far as our physical goodness made us lovely; and as morally lovely he
did not love us, otherwise than _in esse cognito_. But he
purposed to make us morally lovely, and gave us his mercies to that
end; and so loved us with a love of benevolence, as it is called;
which signifieth no more than out of a complacence (or love) to
himself, and to us, as physically good, to purpose to make us morally
good and happy. As to the incident difficulty of love beginning _de
novo_ in God, I have fully resolved it elsewhere.[169]
2. So also we must love a wicked man with a love of benevolence: which
properly is but to love him in his physical worth, and his capacity of
moral goodness and happiness, and thereupon (but especially through
the love of God) to desire his happiness.
3. And as to the loving of ourselves, (besides the sensitive love
before mentioned which respecteth self as self, and not as good,) a
wicked man may rationally love himself according to his physical
goodness as a man, which containeth his capacity of moral goodness,
and so of being holy and serviceable to God and to good men, and happy
in the fruition of God. But beyond all such goodness (which only is
amiableness) no man may rationally love himself or any other, with the
true formal act of love, which is complacence; though he may wish good
to himself or another beyond the present goodness which is in them;
nay, he wisheth them good, not because they are good, but because they
want good.
And though some define loving to be _bene velle alicui ut illi bene
sit_, to desire another's welfare, yet indeed this may be without
any true formal love at all. As I may desire the welfare of my horse,
without any proper love to him, even for myself and use. When God from
eternity willeth to make Paul, and to convert and save him, _ut illi
bene sit_, it is called love of benevolence; but properly it is
only to be called, a will to make Paul good and lovely;[170] it being
only God himself who is the original and ultimate end of that will and
purpose; and himself only which he then loveth, there being nothing
but himself to love; till in that instant that Paul is existent, and
so really lovely. For Paul _in esse cognito_ is not Paul; yet no
reality doth _oriri de novo_ in God; but a new respect and
denomination, and in the creature new effects. (Of which elsewhere.)
_Quest._ IV. Must I love every one as much as myself in degree,
or only some?
_Answ._ You must love every one impartially as yourself,
according to his goodness; and you must wish as well to every one as
to yourself; but you must love no man complacentially so much as
yourself, who is not or seemeth not to have as much loveliness, that
is, as much goodness, or as much of God, as yourself.
_Quest._ V. Must I love any one more than myself?
_Answ._ Yes, every one that is and appeareth better than
yourself. Your sensitive love to another cannot be as much as to
yourself; and your beneficence (ordinarily) must be most to yourself,
because God in nature and his laws hath so appointed it; and your
benevolence to yourself and to others must be alike; but your rational
estimation, and love or complacence, (with the honour and praise
attending it,) must be more to every one that is better than yourself;
for that which is best is most amiable, and that which hath most of
God.
_Quest._ VI. Will it not then follow, that I must love another
man's wife and children better than mine own, when they are really
better?
_Answ._ Yes, no doubt; but it is only with that rational,
estimative love. But there is besides a love to wife and children,
which is in some measure sensitive, which you are not obliged to give
to others; and rationally they are more amiable to you, in their
peculiar relations and respects, though others are more amiable in
other respects; and besides, though you value and rationally love
another more, yet the expressions must not be the same; for those must
follow the relation according to God's command. You may not cohabit or
embrace, nor maintain and provide for others as your own, even when
you rationally love them more; the common good requires this order in
the expressive part, as well as God's command.
_Quest._ VII. Who is my neighbour that I must love as myself?
_Answ._ Not devils or damned souls, who are under justice and
from under mercy, and are none of our society: but, 1. Every natural
man _in via_, being a member of God's kingdom in the same world,
is to be loved as my natural self; and every spiritual man as a member
of the same kingdom of Christ, must be loved as my spiritual self; and
every spiritual man as such, above my natural self as such; and no
natural man as such, so much as my spiritual self as such: so that no
man on earth is excluded from your love, which must be impartial to
all as to yourself, but proportioned to their goodness.
_Quest._ VIII. Are not antichrist and those that sin against the
Holy Ghost excepted out of this our love, and out of our prayers and
endeavours of their good?
_Answ._ Those that (with Zanchy) think Mahomet to be antichrist,
may so conclude, because he is dead and out of our communion. Those
that take the papacy to be antichrist (as most protestants do) cannot
so conclude; because, as there is but one antichrist, that is, one
papacy, though a hundred popes be in that seat, so every one of those
popes is _in via_, and under mercy, and recoverable out of that
condition; and therefore is to be loved and prayed for accordingly.
And as for those that blaspheme the Holy Ghost, it is a sin that one
man cannot certainly know in another, ordinarily at least; and
therefore cannot characterize a person unfit for our love, and
prayers, and endeavours.
_Quest._ IX. May we not hate the enemies of God? How then must we
love them as ourselves?
_Answ._ We may and must hate sin in every one; and where it is
predominant, as God is said to hate the sinner for his sin, so must
we; and yet still love him as ourselves: for you must hate sin in
yourselves as much or more than in any other; and if you are wicked
you must hate yourselves as such; yea, if you are godly, you must
_secundum quid_, or in that measure as you are sinful, abhor, and
loathe, and hate yourselves as such; and yet you must love yourselves
according to the measure of all that natural and moral goodness which
is in you; and you must desire and endeavour all the good to
yourselves that you can. Just so must you hate and love another; love
them and hate them impartially as you must do yourselves.
_Quest._ X. May I not wish hurt sometimes to another, more than
to myself?
_Answ._ You may wish a mediate hurt which tendeth to his good, or
to the good of others; but you must never wish any final hurt and
misery to him. You may wish your friend a vomit or bloodletting for
his cure; and you may wish him some affliction, when it is needful and
apt to humble him and do him good, or to restrain him from doing hurt
to others; and on the same accounts, and for the public good, you may
desire penal justice to be done upon him, yea, sometimes unto death;
but still with a desire of the saving of his soul. And such hurt you
may also wish yourself as is necessary to your good; but you are not
to wish the same penalties to yourself, 1. Because you have somewhat
else first to wish and do, even to repent and prevent it. 2. Because
you are not bound ordinarily to do execution upon yourself. It is more
in your power to repent yourself, and make repentance less necessary
by humble confession and amendment, than to bring another to
repentance. Yet I may add also, that hypothetically you may wish that
destruction to the enemies of God in this life, which absolutely you
may not wish; that is, you must desire first that they may repent, and
secondly, that they may be restrained from hurting others; but if
neither of these may be attained, that they may be cut off.
_Tit. 2. Directions for Loving our Neighbour as Ourselves._
_Direct._ I. Take heed of selfishness and covetousness, the two
great enemies of love. Of which I have spoken more at large before.
_Direct._ II. Fall out with no man; or if you do, be speedily
reconciled; for passions and dissensions are the extinguishers of
love.
_Direct._ III. Love God truly, and you will easily love your
neighbour; for you will see God's image on him, or interest in him,
and feel all his precepts and mercies obliging you hereunto. As 1 John
iii. 11, 23; and iv. 7, 12, 20, 21.
_Direct._ IV. To this end let Christ be your continual study. He
is the full revelation of the love of God; the lively pattern of love,
and the best teacher of it that ever was in the world: his
incarnation, life, and sufferings, his gospel and covenant, his
intercession and preparations for our heavenly felicity, all are the
great demonstrations of condescending, matchless love. Mark both God's
love to us in him, and his love to man, and you will have the best
directive and incentive of your love.
_Direct._ V. Observe all the good which is in every man. Consider
of the good of humanity in his nature, and the goodness of all that
truth which he confesseth, and of all that moral good which appeareth
in his heart and life; and let not oversight or partiality cause you
to overlook it, or make light of it. For it is goodness which is the
only attractive of love; and if you overlook men's goodness, you
cannot love them.
_Direct._ VI. Abhor and beware of a censorious disposition, which
magnifieth men's faults, and vilifieth their virtues, and maketh men
seem worse than indeed they are. For as this cometh from the want of
love, so doth it destroy that little which is left.
_Direct._ VII. Beware of superstition and an erring judgment,
which maketh men place religion where God never placed it. For when
this hath taught you to make duties and sins of your own humour and
invention, it will quickly teach you to love or hate men accordingly
as they fit or cross your opinion and humour: thus many a papist
loveth not those that are not subjects of the Roman monarch, and that
follow not all his irrational fopperies. Many an anabaptist loveth not
those that are against his opinion of re-baptizing: one loveth not
those who are for liturgies, forms of worship, and church music; and
many love not those who are against them; and so of other things (of
which more anon).
_Direct._ VIII. Avoid the company of censorious backbiters and
proud contemners of their brethren: hearken not to them that are
causelessly vilifying others, aggravating their faults and extenuating
their virtues. For such proud, supercilious persons (religious or
profane) are but the messengers of Satan, by whom he entreateth you to
hate your neighbour, or abate your love to him. And to hear them speak
evil of others, is but to go hear a sermon against charity, which may
take with such hearts as ours before we are aware.
_Direct._ IX. Keep still the motives and incentives of love upon
your minds. Which I shall here next set before you.
_Tit. 3. The Reasons or Motives of Love to our Neighbour._
_Motive_ I. Consider well of the image and interest of God in man.
The worst man is his creature, and hath his natural image, though not
his moral image; and you should love the work for the workman's sake.
There is something of God upon all human nature above the brutes; it
is intelligent, and capable of knowing him, of loving him, and of
serving him; and possibly may be brought to do all this better than
you can do it. Undervalue not the noble nature of man, nor overlook
that of God which is upon them, nor the interest which he hath in
them.
_Motive_ II. Consider well of God's own love to man. He hateth
their sins more than any of us; and yet he loveth his workmanship upon
them: "And maketh his sun to shine and his rain to fall on the evil
and on the good, on the just and on the unjust," Matt. v. 45. And what
should more stir us up to love, than to be like to God?
_Motive_ III. And think oft of the love of Christ unto mankind;
yea, even unto his enemies. Can you have a better example, a livelier
incentive, or a surer guide?
_Motive_ IV. Consider of our unity of nature with all men:
suitableness breedeth and maintaineth love. Even birds and beasts do
love their kind; and man should much more have a love to man, as being
of the same specific form.
_Motive_ V. Love is the principle of doing good to others. It
inclineth men to beneficence: and all men call him good who is
inclined to do good.
_Motive_ VI. Love is the bond of societies; of families, cities,
kingdoms, and churches: without love, they will be but enemies
conjunct; who are so much the more hurtful and pernicious to each
other, by how much they are nearer to each other. The soul of
societies is gone when love is gone.
_Motive_ VII. Consider why it is that you love yourselves,
(rationally,) and why it is that you would be beloved of others. And
you will see that the same reasons will be of equal force to call for
love to others from you.
_Motive_ VIII. What abundance of duty is summarily performed in
love! And what abundance of sin is avoided and prevented by it! If it
be the fulfilling of the law, it avoideth all the violations of the
law (proportionably). So far as you have love, you will neither
dishonour superiors, nor oppress inferiors, nor injure equals: you
will neither covet that which is your neighbour's, nor envy, nor
malice them, nor defame, nor backbite, nor censure them unjustly; nor
will you rob them or defraud them, nor withhold any duty or kindness
to them.
_Motive_ IX. Consider how much love pleaseth God; and why it is
made so great a part of all your duty; and why the gospel doth so
highly commend it, and so strictly command it, and so terribly condemn
the want of it! And also how suitable a duty it is for you, who are
obliged by so much love of God! These things well studied will not be
without effect.
_Motive_ X. Consider also that it is your own interest, as well
as your great duty. 1. It is the soundness and honesty of your hearts.
2. It is pleasing to that God on whom only you depend. 3. It is a
condition of your receiving the saving benefits of his love. 4. It is
an amiable virtue, and maketh you lovely to all sober men: all men
love a loving nature, and hate those that hate and hurt their
neighbours. Love commandeth love, and hurtfulness is hatefulness. 5. It
is a sweet, delightful duty: all love is essentiated with some
complacence and delight. 6. It tendeth to the ease and quietness of
your lives. What contentions and troubles will love avoid! What peace
and pleasure doth it cause in families, neighbourhoods, and all
societies! And what brawling vexations come where it is wanting! It
will make all your neighbours and relations to be a comfort and
delight to you, which would be a burden and trouble, if love were
absent. 7. It maketh all other men's felicity and comforts to be
yours. If you love them as yourselves, their riches, their health,
their honours, their lordships, their kingdoms, yea, more, their
knowledge, and learning, and grace, and happiness, are partly to you
as your own: as the comforts of wife and children, and your dearest
friends, are; and as our love to Christ, and the blessed angels and
saints in heaven, do make their joys to be partly ours. How excellent,
and easy, and honest a way is this, of making all the world your own,
and receiving that benefit and pleasure from all things both in heaven
and earth, which no distance, no malice of enemies can deny you! If
those whom you truly love have it, you have it. Why then do you
complain that you have no more health, or wealth, or honour, or that
others are preferred before you? Love your neighbour as yourselves,
and then you will be comforted in his health, his wealth, and his
preferment, and say, Those have it whom I love as myself, and
therefore it is to me as mine own. When you see your neighbour's
houses, pastures, corn, and cattle, love will make it as good and
pleasant to you as if it were your own. Why else do you rejoice in the
portions and estates of your children as if it were your own? The
covetous man saith, Oh how glad should I be if this house, this land,
this corn were mine: but love will make you say, It is all to me as
mine own. What a sure and cheap way is this of making all the world
your own! Oh what a mercy doth God bestow on his servants' souls, in
the day that he sanctifieth them with unfeigned love! How much doth he
give us in that one grace! And oh what a world of blessing and
comforts do the ungodly, the malicious, the selfish, and the
censorious cast away, when they cast away or quench the love of their
neighbours; and what abundance of calamity do they bring upon
themselves! In this one summary instance we may see, how much religion
and obedience to God doth tend to our own felicity and delight; and
how easy a work it would be, if a wicked heart did not make it
difficult! and how great a plague sin is unto the sinner; and how sore
a punishment of itself! And by this you may see, what it is that all
fallings-out, divisions, and contentions tend to; and all temptations
to the abatement of our love; and who it is that is the greater loser
by it, when love to our neighbour is lost; and that backbiters and
censurers who speak ill of others, come to us as the greatest enemies
and thieves, to rob us of our chiefest jewel and greatest comfort in
this world; and accordingly should they be entertained.
[169] Apology against Dr. Kendal.
[170] But if any be resolved to call mere benevolence by the name of
love, I will not contend about a name.