Some young persons indulge a fastidiousness of feeling in relation to
this subject, as though it were indelicate to speak of it. Others make
it the principal subject of their thoughts and conversation; yet they
seem to think it must never be mentioned but in jest. Both these
extremes should be avoided. Marriage is an ordinance of God, and
therefore a proper subject of thought and discussion, with reference to
personal duty. It is a matter of great importance, having a direct
bearing upon the glory of God and the happiness of individuals. It
should, therefore, never be approached with levity. But, as it requires
no more attention than what is necessary in order to understand present
duty, it would be foolish to make it a subject of constant thought, and
silly to make it a common topic of conversation. It is a matter which
should be weighed deliberately and seriously by every young person. It
was ordained by the Lord at the creation, as suited to the state of man
as a social being, and necessary to the design for which he was created.
There is a sweetness and comfort in the bosom of one's own family which
can be enjoyed no where else. In early life this is supplied by our
youthful companions, who feel in unison with us. But as a person who
remains single, advances in life, the friends of his youth form new
attachments, in which he is incapable of participating. Their feelings
undergo a change, of which he knows nothing. He is gradually left alone.
No heart beats in unison with his own. His social feelings wither for
want of an object. As he feels not in unison with those around him, his
habits also become peculiar, and perhaps repulsive, so that his company
is not desired; hence arises the whimsical attachments of such persons
to domestic animals, or to other objects that can be enjoyed in
solitude. As the dreary winter of age advances, the solitude of this
condition becomes still more chilling. Nothing but that sweet
resignation to the will of God, which religion gives, under all
circumstances, can render such a situation tolerable. But religion does
not annihilate the social affections; it only regulates them. It is
evident, then, by a lawful and proper exercise of these affections, both
our happiness and usefulness may be greatly increased.
On the other hand, do not consider marriage as _absolutely essential_.
Although it is an ordinance of God, yet he has not absolutely enjoined
it upon all. You _may_, therefore, be in the way of duty while
neglecting it. And the apostle Paul intimates that there may be, with
those who enter this state, a greater tendency of heart toward earthly
objects. There is also an increase of care. "The unmarried woman careth
for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy, both in body and
spirit; but she that is married, careth for the things of the world,
how she may please her husband." But much more has been made of this
than the apostle intended. It has been greatly perverted and abused by
the church of Rome. It must be observed that, in the same chapter, he
advises that "every man have his own wife and every woman her own
husband." And, whatever may be our condition in life, if we seek it with
earnestness and perseverance, God will give us grace sufficient for the
day. But, he says, though it is no sin to marry, nevertheless, "such
shall have trouble in the flesh." It is undoubtedly true that the
enjoyments of conjugal life have their corresponding difficulties and
trials; and if these are enhanced by an unhappy connection, the
situation is insufferable. For this reason, I would have you avoid the
conclusion that marriage is indispensable to happiness. Single life is
certainly to be preferred to a connection with a person who will
diminish instead of increase your happiness. However, the remark of the
apostle, "such shall have trouble in the flesh," doubtless had reference
chiefly to the peculiar troubles of the times, when Christians were
exposed to persecutions, the loss of goods, and even of life itself, for
Christ's sake; the trials of which would be much greater in married than
in single life.